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  • Locked thread
Former DILF
Jul 13, 2017

REST IN PISS


Peanut President posted:

dragons are warm blooded, dunkass they aint reptiles

Actually theyre cold blooded but the flamesac provides warmth which mimics warm bloodedness, its scientifically a different process than animalian warm bloodedness

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naem
May 29, 2011



Former DILF posted:

Actually theyre cold blooded but the flamesac provides warmth which mimics warm bloodedness, its scientifically a different process than animalian warm bloodedness

I'm sorry I can't hear you over the sound of how handsome it is that I am, which is very, and also fireballs

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

Ask me about the hate crime perpetrated against a gay black man, and how it was a real hate crime and totally not fabricated. I am well acquainted with the facts of this actual hate crime which actually took place in actuality.

dragons are magical shapeshifters. if they want to have dicks, they can have as many as they want in any size, shape or color.

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012




Who, me? I dunno the difference I stole these robes off a necromancer holed up in a tomb what got killed by a sneakthief ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

WatermelonGun
May 7, 2009


*eats mountain of shrooms, creeps like a goblin*

dr.acula
May 9, 2009



uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug


that's somebody's grandparents.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


I really want to like sorcerers but what's up with all those belts? Ugh. At least wizards have the fashion sense to cover up their failure in robes and hats.

Vaginal Vagrant
Jan 12, 2007

by R. Guyovich


My character class is elf

soy
Jul 7, 2003


loving mortals becoming sorcerers in their 30s like god drat could you be any more cliche?

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Forums Rutabaga

the best spell caster is obviously the Archivist. but i understand, not everyone can be cool with high INT to read books

soy
Jul 7, 2003


Rutibex posted:

the best spell caster is obviously the Archivist. but i understand, not everyone can be cool with high INT to read books


I wanna see his EDC

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

in einer anderen welt


I'm a Sorcerer specializing in Ice Magic and am looking to get into some more water based spells. Looking for a little advice before I make the leap.

Is it true that it's an easy transition? That's the main reason I'm interested - looking to expand my skillset but I'm very tied up lately between defending my Bone Tower Fortress from a team of lesser mages, training a Manticore to guard my gold, and attempting to become Magic Advisor to the Dark Emperor of the High Mountain.

If water magic is difficult I would just prefer to get into the fire side of things since that looks cooler and appears to have a more diverse spellbook overall (casting meteors is more appealing to me than summoning a flood, although both are cool).

What are the options if I choose to get a water familiar? I don't want some dumbass fish that I have to carry in a bowl. I also don't live near water so krakens are sadly out. Is there some kind of an air breathing octopus or shark I could get?

Final question; I am looking to do a learn at home program as I'm too busy for a traditional magic school. Is the University of the Dread Shadow good? I'm a little worried because they're so much cheaper than the Infinite Abyss School, but I know IAS is multiversally renowned and might be overpriced because of that.

A_Bug_That_Thinks
Mar 16, 2011


ASK ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BIG SAGGY POKEMON TITS

Listen, water is harder than fire, but it's also more forgiving. Once you start getting into the deeper magic (good luck with that at dread shadow btw) any small mistake with fire will burn you, literally. Water will just entrap you for a decade at the worst, and once you master it, it's far more rewarding. As for familiars, if you learn some of the lesser arcana of earth, you can get a 4th stage water elemental in the form of a vat of living mercury. I don't think I need to belabor how awesome those are.

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

Ask me about the hate crime perpetrated against a gay black man, and how it was a real hate crime and totally not fabricated. I am well acquainted with the facts of this actual hate crime which actually took place in actuality.

the most important difference between ice/fire and ice/water is matching your wardrobe accordingly. opposing duality outfits are very striking, but not every sorcerer can pull them off.

LGD
Sep 25, 2004



gimme the GOD drat candy posted:

the most important difference between ice/fire and ice/water is matching your wardrobe accordingly. opposing duality outfits are very striking, but not every sorcerer can pull them off.

what kind of poo poo-rear end sorcerer canít pull off whatever outfit they want through sheer force of personality? most also have impeccable taste, but sometimes all youíve got are the contents of a caravan carrying belts and youíve still got to be able to rock that poo poo

weíre not talking about schlubby wizards here

LGD fucked around with this message at Jun 14, 2018 around 14:48

soy
Jul 7, 2003


LGD posted:

what kind of poo poo-rear end sorcerer canít pull off whatever outfit they want through sheer force of personality? most also have impeccable taste, but sometimes all youíve got are the contents of a caravan carrying belts and youíve still got to be able to rock that poo poo

weíre not talking about schlubby wizards here

Hey donít bring poo poo or rear end sorcery into this. Seriously donít summon those guys.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

in einer anderen welt


A_Bug_That_Thinks posted:

Listen, water is harder than fire, but it's also more forgiving. Once you start getting into the deeper magic (good luck with that at dread shadow btw) any small mistake with fire will burn you, literally. Water will just entrap you for a decade at the worst, and once you master it, it's far more rewarding. As for familiars, if you learn some of the lesser arcana of earth, you can get a 4th stage water elemental in the form of a vat of living mercury. I don't think I need to belabor how awesome those are.
I eventually want to do IAS, but the Dark Emperor offers a tuition reimbursement plan which kicks in after 18 months of employment. I think getting some basic water magic will guarantee me the job, at which point I can apply for IAS and get into the deep stuff. A buddy of mine specialized in water magic and told me that at the high levels you are doing poo poo like dehydrating people and casting acid rain.

This is EXTREMELY relevant to my interests as I live in a pretty bad area (Land of the Fallen Timber) and deal with a lot of annoying shits like Gargax the Unliving on a weekly basis. If I could cast some acid rain clouds to guard my Tower I'd sleep a lot better at night.


gimme the GOD drat candy posted:

the most important difference between ice/fire and ice/water is matching your wardrobe accordingly. opposing duality outfits are very striking, but not every sorcerer can pull them off.

I'm working on this too. I'm naturally quite pale and lanky and have been avoiding the sun to accentuate those features. I also bought these amazing skull emblem rings that provide a +1 to my INT. I've been thinking about tossing some frost diamonds in the eye sockets to make them look a bit more "on theme". If I get into the water stuff I could see if I've got any old Floodstones to put in there, too.

I usually go for the classic flowing robe (yeah I know, but it's a clichť for a good reason) in white and silver, but I've been feeling really body positive lately. I might invest in some baggy pants or maybe some enchanted leggings soon.

Bum the Sad
Aug 25, 2002

God Damnit

Hell Gem

Oh hey guys. I found this thread searching for rear end sorcery.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


There is only one rear end sorcerer and we do not speak of him.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008





Former DILF posted:

Actually theyre cold blooded but the flamesac provides warmth which mimics warm bloodedness, its scientifically a different process than animalian warm bloodedness

Look, pal, I'm sure you got that fancy degree from Broken Coast Poly and all but I didn't suffer through the torment of wandering the Black Hills of Death for seven years to be told how dragons work okay?

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012



Biscuit Hider

Colonel Cancer posted:

There is only one rear end sorcerer and we do not speak of him.

I feel your pain. Occasionally we get someone who becomes a wizard so they can research and conjure more lifelike realdolls. And to each their own and everything, but I always get cornered by one of those creeps at WizCon and suddenly Iím stuck listening to them talk about Astral pussy for like six hours.

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014





Megamarm

You guys will never be airbrushed onto the side of a conversion van.

Well, maybe the barbarians, but definitely not the sorcerers.

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

Ask me about the hate crime perpetrated against a gay black man, and how it was a real hate crime and totally not fabricated. I am well acquainted with the facts of this actual hate crime which actually took place in actuality.

wizards are popular for vans because you can't smell their unwashed beards from a picture.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

in einer anderen welt


A friend of mine joked about becoming an rear end sorcerer back in Mage Boarding School. One night we got really high off of hexicrystals and tried to summon an rear end, just as a joke to see what happened.

Now since then I've been in contact with The Many-Angled Ones, The Spider Cult, and even the Devourer of Souls. But none of them were anywhere near as scary as what we summoned up. A lot of people tell me it was the crystals screwing with my mind, but I know what I saw, and it sobered me up really quick.

My friend started getting really obsessed with the idea of an "rear end Plane", where things like that existed. Coincidentally he got into strong hallucinogens like Pegasus Feathers and Poor Man's Ashes. I'm sure that didn't help, but he flunked out of school because he just couldn't stop talking about "the horror of the rear end plane".

That was like 130 years ago so I dunno what he's up to now. He learned a few life-lengthening spells and his Dad owned a WizardMart, so I'm guessing he's managing that.

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006

Was ist das problem fraulein?


Hahah sorcerors. Hah. Scoff. Chortle. Lmfao. loving LoL

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014





Megamarm

gimme the GOD drat candy posted:

wizards are popular for vans because you can't smell their unwashed beards from a picture.

did you cast a spell to turn green or is that just the envy?

#VANWIZARDLIFE

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

AN A+ POSTER (:

i seen a dragon gently caress a car once

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

Ask me about the hate crime perpetrated against a gay black man, and how it was a real hate crime and totally not fabricated. I am well acquainted with the facts of this actual hate crime which actually took place in actuality.

big nipples big life posted:

did you cast a spell to turn green or is that just the envy?

#VANWIZARDLIFE

maybe if you hadn't used cha as a dump stat you could get a date without summoning them from a lower plane.

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014





Megamarm

gimme the GOD drat candy posted:

maybe if you hadn't used cha as a dump stat you could get a date without summoning them from a lower plane.

this would be a good burn coming from a paladin but not from a sorcerer.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.




*Grabbing the glasses off a nearsighted wizard

"Aww poor little baby can't prepare his spells now boo hoo"

*gently caress a hot barbarian and sleep

Worldshatter
May 7, 2015

PEPSI for TV-GAME





Hey it's me ya boi a fey bloodline sorcerer


When I ain't using my charms to pick up elf chicks by the arcane pool I'm using mind magic to convince those wizard dweebs to give themselves wedgies.

There's the blood of a motherfucking fey entity in my veins which means its nothing but rad bramble orgies for the rest of my life

A_Bug_That_Thinks
Mar 16, 2011


ASK ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BIG SAGGY POKEMON TITS

fruit on the bottom posted:

I feel your pain. Occasionally we get someone who becomes a wizard so they can research and conjure more lifelike realdolls. And to each their own and everything, but I always get cornered by one of those creeps at WizCon and suddenly Iím stuck listening to them talk about Astral pussy for like six hours.

I like Astral Pussy. They have a really heavy sound, and can pull off a guttural scream without losing the any of their technical proficiency on their strings

HoboMan
Nov 4, 2010



nobody cares about us druids
i mean you go out there and really become one with all living things and the entire universe really to the point you can ask a rock what has the last couple billion years been like (btw, i don't recommend asking any minerals this as they will just go on and on over every freaking millimeter they have moved), i can telepathically ask a vine to ensnare my enemies and it will do it because it totally oews me for that one time i hooked it up with some pollen from that hottie in the forbidden woods but i am getting wayy off topic. ANYWAYS you do all that stuff augmenting the flow of the universe and poo poo and THEN I STIll have to clean up the ecological bamage you sorcerers do by just bending the cosmos to your will at the faintest whim. you are not NEARLY as bad as wizards about this I'll grant but without druids cleaning up for you you guys would have rent all of reality asunder by now. and barrier between our wold and the elemental plane of fire is starting to get worryingly thin from all the hole you guys keep poki g in it (you wonder why it's warming up??). but you try to hang out with some sorcers because they seem kinda cool and you explain this pronlem they're just like "lol dork". and everyone else thinks we're just smelly weirdos who gently caress squirrels or some poo poo.

Sorry about kinda rambling and spelling or gramnar or whatever, I don't talk to people that much and I feel very strongly about tjis.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.




HoboMan posted:

nobody cares about us druids
i mean you go out there and really become one with all living things and the entire universe really to the point you can ask a rock what has the last couple billion years been like (btw, i don't recommend asking any minerals this as they will just go on and on over every freaking millimeter they have moved), i can telepathically ask a vine to ensnare my enemies and it will do it because it totally oews me for that one time i hooked it up with some pollen from that hottie in the forbidden woods but i am getting wayy off topic. ANYWAYS you do all that stuff augmenting the flow of the universe and poo poo and THEN I STIll have to clean up the ecological bamage you sorcerers do by just bending the cosmos to your will at the faintest whim. you are not NEARLY as bad as wizards about this I'll grant but without druids cleaning up for you you guys would have rent all of reality asunder by now. and barrier between our wold and the elemental plane of fire is starting to get worryingly thin from all the hole you guys keep poki g in it (you wonder why it's warming up??). but you try to hang out with some sorcers because they seem kinda cool and you explain this pronlem they're just like "lol dork". and everyone else thinks we're just smelly weirdos who gently caress squirrels or some poo poo.

Sorry about kinda rambling and spelling or gramnar or whatever, I don't talk to people that much and I feel very strongly about tjis.

loving vegans

A_Bug_That_Thinks
Mar 16, 2011


ASK ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BIG SAGGY POKEMON TITS

Lmbo I poo poo on druids, and occasionally in them

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014





Megamarm

A_Bug_That_Thinks
Mar 16, 2011


ASK ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BIG SAGGY POKEMON TITS

I call upon the spirits of your mother's stanky rear end

naem
May 29, 2011



big nipples big life posted:

You guys will never be airbrushed onto the side of a conversion van.

Well, maybe the barbarians, but definitely not the sorcerers.

The usual combo is barbarian and Sorceress due the the fact that boobs are like, barbarian kryptonite

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Son of Man
Jan 29, 2003
I am so GAY that I like the song "Africa" by Toto

(using my thief skills, I pick the lock on the thread and slip in quietly to eavesdrop the secrets of magic)


*fails dexterity check*


gently caress

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