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Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

HOLY poo poo THERE'S A NEW SEASON OF LU PREMIERING TONIGHT ON EL REY NETWORK

Here's the trailer if you haven't seen it yet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0evAv6Zr8w
Season 3 thread https://forums.somethingawful.com/s...hreadid=3789028


I'm not going to make this OP as effort-posty as the last time. To put it frankly, LU has lost a ton of interest over the past year, to the point where they literally didn't tape a single show in all of 2017. Some questionable business decisions, an out-of-nowhere hiatus in Season 3, and the continued existence of Matt Striker have combined to turn off many people, and it's unlikely that the company will ever recapture the buzz it had in the first two seasons.

Nevertheless, the show goes on, with a smaller budget, a new Temple, and a talent exodus (reportedly wrestlers who wanted to leave were allowed out of their contracts as long as they showed up at the first taping to get written off). Even with the negative behind-the-scenes news, there's still some incredible wrestling and batshit crazy storylines worth following. Also Pentagon is finally the champion so HELL YEAH LET'S DO THIS.

Time: Wednesdays, 8 p.m. ET
TV: El Rey Network
Online: Sling TV, iTunes


Lucha Underground Champion: Pentagon Dark
Lucha Underground Trios Champions: The Mack, Killshot, Dante Fox Son of Havoc
Gift of the Gods Champion: Vacant
Aztec Medallion holders: None




WHAT HAPPENED AT ULTIMA LUCHA TRES

Dr. Wagner Jr. and Famous B def. Texano -- This was part of a weird storyline where Famous B wanted to make Texano his new client (and presumably give him a personality) and Texano refusing, then kinda agreeing? Or something? I forgot, it's been too long. Wagner has since unmasked in AAA so I doubt he's showing up again.

Killshot def. Dante Fox in Hell of War match -- Easily the best match of Season 3, and arguably the whole show. Your mileage may vary on the "wrestlers playing fake soldiers" story, but these guys went all-in to sell the hatred and betrayal in an absolutely insane three-stages match (first blood, no-DQ, ambulance match). Somewhere in the old Temple, a piece of AR Fox's back is still laying on the floor.

Also they were teamed up and won the trios belts the next night because "respect" or something.

The Mack won a "Battle Royale for a Unique Opportunity" -- Our favorite flippy dadbod won the opportunity to team up with the other black guys on the show in the trios title match against the lizard people. Does he know his cousin Big Ryck is dead yet? Who wants to tell him?

Ivelisse def. Catrina -- This match got set up in the Season 3 premiere, then Ivelisse blew out her leg and missed the entire season. She came back in time to do the match, which nobody on God's green earth remembers a thing about.

Fenix def. Marty "The Moth" Martinez in Hair vs. Mask Match -- Marty was going full incel on Fenix's girlfriend/ring announcer Melissa Santos and Fenix wasn't having any of it, so they had a match. Fenix is the best and should probably just hold the title forever. Cheerleader Melissa still wearing that poo poo-brown bodysuit despite looking like Cheerleader Melissa Mariposa was also there! She's probably doing an incest thing with Marty! Somebody on the writing crew has some issues to work out!

Sexy Star def. Taya in Last Luchadora Standing Match -- Sexy died on the way back to her home planet.

Dante Fox, Killshot, The Mack def. Drago, Pindar, Vibora to win LU Trios titles -- The reptile people (led by Kobra Moon, who found a useful role that thankfully doesn't involve wrestling) failed to keep the belts and this pissed off Kobra, who punished them by using mind-controlled Daga (!!!) to chop off Pindar's head (!!!!!!). my beautiful square lizard man.

Pentagon Dark def. Son of Havoc in ladder match to win Gift of the Gods Championship -- Yup, this was a good-rear end match.

Matanza def. El Dragon Azteca Jr. in steel cage match -- Azteca flew through the cage door and onto the drat floor. It was way cooler than that lame Roman/Brock spot. Matanza won after Black Lotus beat up Azteca for something something "my parents."

Mil Muertes def. Cage and Jeremiah Crane in elimination match -- This was for the Medieval Times gauntlet that Cage used to punch Lorenzo Lamas to death. It probably would've stolen the show if Hell of War didn't happen, an awesomely violent match. Muertes won and almost put on the Power Glove, but our homeboy KING CUERNO ran in to steal it and add it to his taxidermy collection. King Cuerno is the loving best.

Prince Puma def. Johnny Mundo in Title vs. Career Match for Lucha Underground Championship -- You've seen Ricochet wrestle John Morrison, right? Yeah, it's incredible every time. With Puma's LU career on the line, he overcame everything Worldwide Underground threw at him to finally defeat Johnny and win the title back.

OR SO WE THOUGHT ...

Pentagon Dark cashes in Gift of the Gods, def. Prince Puma for Lucha Underground Championship -- THAT'S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS PENTAGON IS FINALLY THE CHAMPION AND HE'S HERE TO CERO ALL OF THE MEDIO.

That ended Puma's career, and he got a nice sendoff from the crowd as he left the Temple. Goodbye Puma, may your flips be high and mighty in the sunny fields of Orlando.

Other important stuff that happened

-- Rey Mysterio didn't have much to do last season, but he miraculously escaped Matanza's cell in time to enter the Royal Rumble and compete in New Japan, so I guess he's just fine.

-- Oh yeah DARIO CUETO GOT loving SHOT THEY KILLED OFF THE SHOW'S BEST CHARACTER WHYYYYYYY
There's a potential out where the gunshot wound wasn't fatal and Dario survives, and we've seen characters come back from the dead before, so I'm still holding out hope. Still, it was a ballsy move to end the season on, and with El Jefe out of the picture (and more importantly, an uncaged Matanza on the loose), we'll have to see what the immediate fallout is on the Season 4 premiere.

Benne fucked around with this message at Jun 14, 2018 around 00:30

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Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

I meant to have a thread tag but I suppose this is appropriate

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

Do people really dislike Matt Striker's commentary that much? He's enthusiastic, he's knowledgeable, he has personality. Yeah he makes some very nerdy references, but we're wrestling goons, c'mon.

Mob
May 6, 2002

I wanted to change my avatar but I didn't have a good title so I wanted to say suck it hot dogs are sandwiches


His enthusiasm is too much, his knowledge is just using insider terms in a lovely WINK WINK way, and his personality is both negative qualities I just mentioned wrapped up in a "sorry you marks don't GET IT" bow.

Vampiro's not any better. He's far more knowledgeable but everything is a CRAZY BITCH AM I RIGHT or some dumb sex joke. His Facebook rambling is an insane art installation.

DangerDummy!
Jul 6, 2009


I was "okay" with Striker and Vampiro for awhile, bit they ended up getting on my nerves after a couple seasons. Christ, there was one match Vampiro was calling... it was a pretty brutal violent match, and the way Vamp was grunting and whispering his calls during the whole thing, it sounded like he was edging the whole time. It was really gross.

That said, I can still enjoy Striker on occasion.

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

"I think you'll find that when it comes to Sandwich Montoya, the sky is the limit!"

- Too Much Mustard


Striker has never bothered me, at least not enough to keep me from watching. Now that S3 break and unending Cueto Cup... Oof.

Bring on the Violence!

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

LU's intergender matches would probably have a better reputation if it didn't sound like Striker and Vampiro were jerking off to them the entire time

The Senator Giroux
Jul 9, 2006
Dead Ringer

DangerDummy! posted:

Christ, there was one match Vampiro was calling... it was pretty bru-tal, bru-tal, bru-tal

Vampiro’d that for you.

It was the Pentagon vs the Black Lotus Triad match, which I get what he was going for since it’s one of the first matches (I think) of Penta’s after he dumped Vampiro so he was going for brooding, but yeah his commentary hosed Up what was one of my favorite matches.

exploded mummy
Sep 10, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick


Doctor Rope

Benne posted:

LU's intergender matches would probably have a better reputation if it didn't sound like Striker and Vampiro were jerking off to them the entire time

or if the very first one they ever put on had the champion of women everywhere get absolutely belittled and pinned in a 3 minute sqaush

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

exploded mummy posted:

or if the very first one they ever put on had the champion of women everywhere get absolutely belittled and pinned in a 3 minute sqaush

Not their fault she didn't go for the shoot armbar

exploded mummy
Sep 10, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick


Doctor Rope

anyway I wish Lucha Underground's attempt to stay afloat this season even though they don't have the hottest lucha superstar and wrestler of the year LA Park.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

Let's gooooooooo

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

"I think you'll find that when it comes to Sandwich Montoya, the sky is the limit!"

- Too Much Mustard


AZTEC WARFARE 4 YES

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

It's always Heath's fault.

Plaster Town Cop

Freaking stream's down

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

drat, I'll miss AR Fox

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

"I think you'll find that when it comes to Sandwich Montoya, the sky is the limit!"

- Too Much Mustard


KILL
MACK
HAVOC
clap clap clapclapclap

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

Wait, I thought Stephen Amell killed Joey Ryan

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

"I think you'll find that when it comes to Sandwich Montoya, the sky is the limit!"

- Too Much Mustard


Benne posted:

Wait, I thought Stephen Amell killed Joey Ryan

It's brave of El Rey to show his last performances.

I need a LU scarf.

Xerzes
May 16, 2012


Mr..Pectacular. Wait, was that the Big brother guy from TNA?

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

Nothing but respect for my champion

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA TOMMY loving DREAMER

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

"I think you'll find that when it comes to Sandwich Montoya, the sky is the limit!"

- Too Much Mustard


Ahahahahaha Pizza

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

Goddamnit why is Hernandez back

Xerzes
May 16, 2012


Why the gently caress did Striker just say "pizzagate."

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

"I think you'll find that when it comes to Sandwich Montoya, the sky is the limit!"

- Too Much Mustard


HERNANDEZ???

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

WELCOME TO SLAMTOWN

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

"I think you'll find that when it comes to Sandwich Montoya, the sky is the limit!"

- Too Much Mustard


Benne posted:

WELCOME TO SLAMTOWN



This match is going fast but there's only so much time because they also had to do setup.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

RIP Angelico

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

Jesus Christ Sami almost killed Fenix

Accident Underwater
Oct 21, 2005

Gotta give'em hell


Fenix is unreal

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

"I think you'll find that when it comes to Sandwich Montoya, the sky is the limit!"

- Too Much Mustard


So glad to have Daga in the ring again.

exploded mummy
Sep 10, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick


Doctor Rope

jerusalem change the title to "Lucha Underground Season 4: Pizzagate"

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

Tall guy in black pants, does a chokeslam and V-Trigger

Vibora is peak E-Fed Wrestler

Xerzes
May 16, 2012


CERO MIEDO, MOTHERFUCKER

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

That match was a total clusterfuck and I'm not sure in a good way

DangerDummy!
Jul 6, 2009


Benne posted:

That match was a total clusterfuck and I'm not sure in a good way

It was a bit disappointing compared to past Aztec Warfare matches, but I still had fun seeing everyone again. I look forward to seeing where the season goes.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

DangerDummy! posted:

It was a bit disappointing compared to past Aztec Warfare matches, but I still had fun seeing everyone again. I look forward to seeing where the season goes.

I guess, but it just felt like half "people coming in to eat quick pins and gently caress off out of their contracts" and half "hastily reminding you of storylines still going on" without letting anything sink in. It didn't have the cohesion or flow of the other Aztec Warfare matches, and looked edited to hell and back. At least Pentagon got a strong win and the most eliminations, which was the right call.

Also unless Melissa, uh, put on some weight over the past year, that definitely wasn't her in the Mariposa suit.

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

"I think you'll find that when it comes to Sandwich Montoya, the sky is the limit!"

- Too Much Mustard


That was probably the best way they could have jumped back in, considering the long break between filming sessions. It's disappointing, but understandable.

What makes me happy is that the non-wrestling scenes appear to be at the same quality, which is what I really ask.

NowonSA
Jul 19, 2013

I am the sexiest poster in the world!


I haven't seen this yet, but I read that Dario got replaced by the same actor playing his father. Someone please toss up a side-by-side picture of that.

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Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Xerzes posted:

Why the gently caress did Striker just say "pizzagate."

This is the best explanation for why people don't like Matt Striker. He could do a great job calling a match with enthusiasm and passion, but at some point he'll yell, "Chris Benoit did nothing wrong!" and ruin any goodwill.

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