Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«2 »
  • Post
  • Reply
ghost emoji

oooOooOOOooh

it seems like a fun idea but it is not!!!!

once i took a edible and went to Target and got trapped in a time loop. i felt like I had turned the corner by the electronics aisle a million times. was genuinely worried I was in hell

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Manifisto


me: these all look fine to me

store employee: uh that's . . . good to hear sir

me: perfectly edible. it all looks like something I would eat.

store employee: well that's the idea, haha. now if I could just--

me: but what about the name of the store

store employee: ???

me: groceries

me: gross-eries

me: grrrrooossss . . . . eries

MockingQuantum


Manifisto posted:

me: these all look fine to me

store employee: uh that's . . . good to hear sir

me: perfectly edible. it all looks like something I would eat.

store employee: well that's the idea, haha. now if I could just--

me: but what about the name of the store

store employee: ???

me: groceries

me: gross-eries

me: grrrrooossss . . . . eries

lol

also I have been that store employee, twas grand

hamjobs

space queen

spent over an hour gently washing, drying, buffing and stacking all personal watermelons before being ejected by security

google THIS


so hungey for frozen burriot

drilldo squirt


I wind up spending hundreds of dollars on food.


not ready


drilldo squirt posted:

I wind up spending hundreds of dollars on food.

then I donít leave the house for a month.

ghost emoji

oooOooOOOooh

drilldo squirt posted:

I wind up spending hundreds of dollars on food.

the very first time i ever got high i managed to spend $32 at popeye's

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
The contents of this shitpost and any attachments are intended solely for the addressee(s) and may contain confidential and/or privileged information and may be legally protected from disclosure. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity designated above. If you are not the intended recipient of this shitpost, please notify the sender immediately, and delete the shitpost and any attachments. Any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this shitpost or any attachments by an individual or entity other than the intended recipient is prohibited.

Cubone

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

ghost emoji posted:

it seems like a fun idea but it is not!!!!

once i took a edible and went to Target and got trapped in a time loop. i felt like I had turned the corner by the electronics aisle a million times. was genuinely worried I was in hell
grocery stores are strange, scary mazes of sharp corners and bright colors
everything is a box, everything is one color, and the music, lighting, and layout are all designed to dull your senses

and you have to go there to live, so not only are you there every week, but it is filled with every type of person, children, tired caregivers, disgruntled elderly, artists, criminals, police, teachers, students, wily teens, the self-important, the insane, and they're all also navigating a maze of sharp corners and bright colors with their senses dulled, all the one-color boxes they want piled into a bigger one-color box until it is very heavy, pushing it blindly around corners, looking for the deals, which are real and not real but always square and always one color

just a nightmare

Manifisto


broken. the freezers are broken, and it's my fault. they're not even cold! why did I flip that switch? right, right, I couldn't not flip it, the world might have ended. but still I'm in soooo much trouble now. nobody's even noticing. what's wrong with people? they're putting stuff into their baskets, they don't even realize it's not cold! oh god, should I tell them? what if they ate it and got sick? oh crap. crap crap crap.

*things in the baked goods section are otherwise uneventful*

Splatmaster



HAIKOOLIGAN

When your order number is called for the lunch meat you ordered in the deli section you immediately answer "Why, are you a cop?"

BYOB fun all year long! Sigs by: Manifisto and Vanisher, awesome BYOB people!!

Splatmaster



HAIKOOLIGAN

You spend 5 minutes giggling like a maniac at the pothead over there when you realize you're staring at your own reflection in the freezer door

hamjobs

space queen

spent $271 on fresh donuts for you and your closest 2 friends

Hugh Malone


Going to the old Asian supermarket that only uses half the store and pretending I'm in Fallout in the unused creepy part with the unused warm freezer section.

Then my tummy rumbles and I remember I'm here for the good ramen with all the extra packets of things

Macnult


Gotta get groceries soon... need the best bang for my buck
*hits blunt*
I bet Target is cheap


Signature by Manifisto

Macnult


Stoner: Thank you so much for being here. I get that itís your job and all but I really canít deal with self-checkout right now.
Cashier: This is a lot of butter...


Signature by Manifisto

Luvcow


Macnult posted:

Stoner: Thank you so much for being here. I get that itís your job and all but I really canít deal with self-checkout right now.
Cashier: This is a lot of butter...

*slowly unwraps stick and begins to slowly eat it like a popsicle while staring unblinkingly into the cashier's eyes*



Manifisto


Macnult posted:

Stoner: Thank you so much for being here. I get that itís your job and all but I really canít deal with self-checkout right now.
Cashier: This is a lot of butter...

Luvcow posted:

*slowly unwraps stick and begins to slowly eat it like a popsicle while staring unblinkingly into the cashier's eyes*

lol

Dick Bastardly

*stares at cat supplies, slack jawed*


Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!

Lovely sig by the masterful Matoi Ryuko, thanks!

MockingQuantum


stoner: could you point me to the produce, please, I need many bananas. I have searched high and low for the bananas, but they don't appear to be anywhere. Are you anti-banana here? I've heard they're, like, mildly radioactive, is that why? I've heard macadamia nuts are too. Which reminds me, where are your macadamia nuts? I want to eat everything I can find that's mildly radioactive, it's my dream to become the Mildly Incredible Hulk.

cashier: sir this is an Ace Hardware

Amateur Saboteur

Wear the hat nigga
only then do you get to wonder if you're sealing the fate of an entire brand and product line by your negligent actions tossing that poo poo out of your cart to some other aisle, rendering it unfindable until expiration, tipping the loss margins in an already volatile niche business, causing catastrophic layoffs and shutdowns and eventually probably some suicides

ghost emoji

oooOooOOOooh

Dick Bastardly posted:

*stares at cat supplies, slack jawed*

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
The contents of this shitpost and any attachments are intended solely for the addressee(s) and may contain confidential and/or privileged information and may be legally protected from disclosure. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity designated above. If you are not the intended recipient of this shitpost, please notify the sender immediately, and delete the shitpost and any attachments. Any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this shitpost or any attachments by an individual or entity other than the intended recipient is prohibited.

TK8325


is this cleaning supplies or juice?

Duckbox


holy poo poo, they have the good grapes!


Duckbox


this orange is a little soft, but this one is sort of yellow, but this one has a scab on it, but this one is really big and the big ones don't always taste as good, but the little ones sometimes are mostly peel and i don't want to pay for peel, besides, it smells funny, or is that just normal orange smell or

wait, i don't like oranges


drilldo squirt


not ready posted:

then I donít leave the house for a month.

I'm very bad at budgeting.


nesamdoom

nesaM killed Masen

30 minutes in the store and I end up with a lemonade, a box of pepperoni hot pockets and a pepperoni pizza. 2 of which are next to each other and the other is at the checkout. Atleast I didn't go to rent a video on seroquel again.

nesaMDoom

lmbo calrissian

i'm into fashion
men are my passion

You will walk in needing to get a snack that you can eat on the road and you will get a frozen pizza because it's called "Tombstone", saying "the sun will bake it."

Twenty Four

HAIKOOLIGAN

Splatmaster posted:

When your order number is called for the lunch meat you ordered in the deli section you immediately answer "Why, are you a cop?"

lol


Macnult posted:

Stoner: Thank you so much for being here. I get that it’s your job and all but I really can’t deal with self-checkout right now.
Cashier: This is a lot of butter...

Luvcow posted:

*slowly unwraps stick and begins to slowly eat it like a popsicle while staring unblinkingly into the cashier's eyes*

more lol


Sig by Manifisto

hamjobs

space queen

bought 4 bags of white chocolate chunks to temper to make chocolate covered weed graham thin mint things and you know what? that was my entire grocery list, and it took two hours.

Kthulhu5000

Coulda, woulda, shoulda
bought
a
TurboGrafx-16

wandering around, admiring all the bright colors on the packages, and then I spend 15 minutes spacing out in the bathroom cleaner aisle in a high stream day dream, mulling over the wondrous possibilities of that $5.00 loaf of rye bread I saw.

Jedrick

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

25 bux worth of Kraft Dinner and dinosaur egg oatmeal.

Hugh Malone


*jumps out of plane in the skies 1000 feet above the kroger*


*sails gently into the doors of supermarket with parachute made of reusable grocery bags*

rump buttman

I just wish I had time for one more bowl of chili

me: yo, Iíve got a a claw footed bathtub I need to fill with berry colossal crunch malt-o-meal.

manager: are you going to need some milk to go with it?

me: nah .... make it half n half

manager: my dawg

me:

Duckbox


*buys milk, ice cream, and thirty cans of soup*

*remembers I walked here*


hamjobs

space queen

I stood in line for twenty minutes at the checkout spaced out and right before it was my turn realized I didn't pick anything up so I got embarrassed and bought a pack of gum, got cash back and walked to another store for groceries

Hugh Malone


hahaha ^^^

hamjobs

space queen

My life is a series of weed tubes

twoday

Dehumanize yourself in the face of a godless deterministic universe and accept the futility of all human endeavor.

hamjobs posted:

I stood in line for twenty minutes at the checkout spaced out and right before it was my turn realized I didn't pick anything up so I got embarrassed and bought a pack of gum, got cash back and walked to another store for groceries

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OqG8ez6On4

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

lmbo calrissian

i'm into fashion
men are my passion

hamjobs posted:

I stood in line for twenty minutes at the checkout spaced out and right before it was my turn realized I didn't pick anything up so I got embarrassed and bought a pack of gum, got cash back and walked to another store for groceries

Remember that you are loved

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«2 »