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Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!


I mean other than me

Recently I was chatting with my friend Steve and I found it he’s a total loving idiot. I’ve known him for years and see him like once a week and just now I’m realizing he may be retarded. We never really debate anything or talk about politics or science or religion or any of that poo poo when we see each other. When it came up the other day it felt like I was conversing with a brick wall.

He insisted that science can’t be trusted because “you’re just believing what someone told you”, which sounds sort of smart until you realize that by the very definition of science you should only believe things that can be proven by a repeatable experiment. Any time I tried to explain this he would start a tangent, saying outlandish bullshit like “how can you sit there and tell me about life when you can’t even explain a soul?” “But Steve, a soul is not a real thi-“ “Who’s to say what is even real? Am I real? Are you real? How could you even know?” Ok Jaden Smith!

Where I sort of had to back out of the conversation was when I tried to explain how you could prove gravity existed and varied by doing a repeatable experiment on earth and then on the moon to show that the gravitational pull changes. He tells me there’s no real way to know since I have never been to the moon myself. I try and tell him that it’s a thought experiment and that knowing fundamentals of science (which he clearly does not) means we can calculate exactly how gravity differs on the moon, or extrapolate an inference on things like “if I punch myself in the balls on the moon it will hurt just as much as if I punched my balls on earth”, since we know how pain receptors work and know that gravity or generally the atmosphere has no effect on those things. Of course he tells me there’s no possible way we could know because we both have never been to the moon.

So tell me about the morons in your life and their ridiculously stupid beliefs

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FAGGY CLAUSE
Apr 9, 2011

by FactsAreUseless


Honestly your friend sounds above average if he was able to do anything more than stare at you while drooling. Most Americans can't even do more than just look angry while stuttering out some nonsensical bullshit because they never do more than nod at some other moron on TV preaching whatever worldview they're oriented towards.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



Nap Ghost

If you freak out over conspiracies I would love to tell you about my spidey-sense. In that I am bat-man.

Hiyo!

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Bath Tubs
Aug 6, 2013



A guy on my rugby team in college was convinced that jerking off burned like a ton of calories for some reason. I think he read it on a bodybuilding forum or something, but he would religiously go back to his dorm after a workout or practice to jerk off because he 100% believed that was why he never got fat.

He also loved to dip oreos in dijon mustard but I think that was because he got his head bashed in a bunch on the turf

Love Rat
Jan 15, 2008

I've made a psycho call to the woman I love, I've kicked a dog to death, and now I'm going to pepper spray an acquaintance. Something... I mean, what's happened to me?

Sounds like people are hanging out with some real dummies and should try to find better friends.

Also, how are people able to build friendships with people with no substantive conversation?

Pick
Jul 19, 2009



Grimey Drawer

"do girls hug multiple times?"

First of May
May 1, 2017
🎵 Bring your favorite lady, or at least your favorite lay! 🎵


My mom believes in homeopathy and is an anti-vaxxer. I don't ask her for life advice.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009



Grimey Drawer

Seriously though, it was a woman I know who tried to make S'mores by putting the component parts on a paper plate which she held directly over an open flame. The fire burned the plate and the graham cracker and chocolate and whatever fell into the fire. Then she repeated this action, as if the fire burning the paper plate had been some kind of unexpected, once-in-a-lifetime outcome.

Love Rat
Jan 15, 2008

I've made a psycho call to the woman I love, I've kicked a dog to death, and now I'm going to pepper spray an acquaintance. Something... I mean, what's happened to me?

Pick posted:

Seriously though, it was a woman I know who tried to make S'mores by putting the component parts on a paper plate which she held directly over an open flame. The fire burned the plate and the graham cracker and chocolate and whatever fell into the fire. Then she repeated this action, as if the fire burning the paper plate had been some kind of unexpected, once-in-a-lifetime outcome.

big dyke energy
Jul 29, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!


I had a manager who thought Paris and France were separate countries. Explaining to her that Paris is a city inside France was...uh, shockingly hard.

Kak
Sep 27, 2002



A friend of mine refuses to believe that Pangaea was a thing and thinks the continents have always been separated by ocean.

Kak fucked around with this message at Jun 14, 2018 around 01:37

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 7, 2007



Fun Shoe

Used to work with a guy who got all of his life advice and outlook from Southpark. He stopped using facebook for years after that one episode. He stopped going to the subway on his street because "brown people" work there and he is 100% convinced the reason his toppings all fall out of the sandwich is because "brown people" don't know how to work with leavened bread as they are an exclusively flatbread kind of folk.

Macasaurus
Oct 12, 2012



i knew some guy that was going to be given mod of this very forum but couldnt keep his mouth shut and subsequently lost his mind

LOVE LOVE SKELETON
Nov 11, 2007

earth people i was born on jupiter

i knew an aspiring music student who didn’t believe pizzicato was a real thing. hundreds of years of bowed instruments and no one ever thought “what if i just use my finger”

Caganer
Feb 15, 2018


Love Rat posted:

Also, how are people able to build friendships with people with no substantive conversation?

i believe the technical term for that is "marriage"

cnut
May 3, 2016



Caganer posted:

i believe the technical term for that is "marriage"

Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


My cousin eats bananas with a fork

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011



Got a friend who lives in his parent's basement, jobless, probably has a bastard child with a woman who used to be a heroin addict, die-hard libertarian, thousands of dollars in debt despite never going to college, and he's been waiting for his band to get their "big break" despite not having a singer for the past 10 years.

He also sells weed.

TurboFlamingChicken
Sep 13, 2007

BIRB IS THE WIRB

Ein cooler Typ posted:

My cousin eats bananas with a fork

Cursed af

food court bailiff
Oct 2, 2007

fast n furious foodstuff


Soiled Meat

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

i knew an aspiring music student who didn’t believe pizzicato was a real thing. hundreds of years of bowed instruments and no one ever thought “what if i just use my finger”

for my own sanity i must believe you are exaggerating

Sintax
Aug 2, 2002

Let's drink until our hearts stop.

There is this complete retard who goes by "Windows 98" who consistently thinks he has interesting things to say despite overwhelming feedback otherwise. He looks like a shaved chimp and spews pretentious garbage about vaping and seeing 70mm films to anyone unlucky enough to find themselves in a conversation with him. He got a tattoo on his chest that says "2014 sucked" seriously that's all it says

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Zane
Nov 14, 2007


Windows 98 posted:

I mean other than me

Recently I was chatting with my friend Steve and I found it he’s a total loving idiot. I’ve known him for years and see him like once a week and just now I’m realizing he may be retarded. We never really debate anything or talk about politics or science or religion or any of that poo poo when we see each other. When it came up the other day it felt like I was conversing with a brick wall.

He insisted that science can’t be trusted because “you’re just believing what someone told you”, which sounds sort of smart until you realize that by the very definition of science you should only believe things that can be proven by a repeatable experiment. Any time I tried to explain this he would start a tangent, saying outlandish bullshit like “how can you sit there and tell me about life when you can’t even explain a soul?” “But Steve, a soul is not a real thi-“ “Who’s to say what is even real? Am I real? Are you real? How could you even know?” Ok Jaden Smith!

Where I sort of had to back out of the conversation was when I tried to explain how you could prove gravity existed and varied by doing a repeatable experiment on earth and then on the moon to show that the gravitational pull changes. He tells me there’s no real way to know since I have never been to the moon myself. I try and tell him that it’s a thought experiment and that knowing fundamentals of science (which he clearly does not) means we can calculate exactly how gravity differs on the moon, or extrapolate an inference on things like “if I punch myself in the balls on the moon it will hurt just as much as if I punched my balls on earth”, since we know how pain receptors work and know that gravity or generally the atmosphere has no effect on those things. Of course he tells me there’s no possible way we could know because we both have never been to the moon.

So tell me about the morons in your life and their ridiculously stupid beliefs
these are actually nubs of active philosophical problems. nominalism vs. realism. mechanism vs. teleology. subjectivism vs. objectivism. mind/body problem. they're just not dressed up properly. WHOSE THE DUMMY NOW?!?!!

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

No shirt, no coat
Take me on a flat boat
Dover down to Covington
Covington to Louisville
Louisville to Henderson
Henderson to Smithland
Smithland to Memphis
Memphis down to Vicksburg
Vicksburg to Natchez
Going down to Natchez
Take me on a flat boat
Dover Dam to Covington
Covington to Louisville


A kid in my school called himself the italian scallion. He was italian so he for some reason exclaimed "I'm the italian scallion!"

Sintax
Aug 2, 2002

Let's drink until our hearts stop.

Sintax posted:

There is this complete retard who goes by "Windows 98" who consistently thinks he has interesting things to say despite overwhelming feedback otherwise. He looks like a shaved chimp and spews pretentious garbage about vaping and seeing 70mm films to anyone unlucky enough to find themselves in a conversation with him. He got a tattoo on his chest that says "2014 sucked" seriously that's all it says

also he "makes beats" ask him about his "beats" if ur lookin to get your pussy wet

2 penny bottle imp
Jun 11, 2008

From the Exquisite© line of avatars

My boss prints all emails he receives, and physically highlights every word in the body, as well as the sender, the recipient, and subject line. He will also do this with emails he sends himself.

After highlighting, he will staple all pages of an email together, and then he will paperclip that email together with emails in the same email chain.

Then he will gather stapled groups of emails together, and put them in folders that he will label with one word subject lines.

This typically takes him 3-4 hours a day.

Creamed Cormp
Jan 8, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 6 days!


I don't think I ever had someone who I considered a friend who was also dumb as gently caress, but my brother, while not dumb or anything, doesn't like reading and much prefers learning from video content, but lacks the ability to be objective on what kind of document he is watching, so like I had to dispel the myth of the clean wehrmacht to him. Like obviously he is not stupid enough to start believing the holocaust was a myth, but as long as it's in a professional enough looking documentary, he just accepts it as truth.

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Love Rat posted:

Also, how are people able to build friendships with people with no substantive conversation?

Friendship is a function of time and trust. Horrifying stupidity or lack of it doesnt have much to do with it.

Your REAL friends are the ones you can trust to have your back in an emergency. The people you otherwise call friends are people you know and like well enough to trust generally. Just sometimes those same people couldnt find their own rear end with two hands, a flashlight, and an assistant.

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Creamed Cormp posted:

I don't think I ever had someone who I considered a friend who was also dumb as gently caress, but my brother, while not dumb or anything, doesn't like reading and much prefers learning from video content, but lacks the ability to be objective on what kind of document he is watching, so like I had to dispel the myth of the clean wehrmacht to him. Like obviously he is not stupid enough to start believing the holocaust was a myth, but as long as it's in a professional enough looking documentary, he just accepts it as truth.

Your brother is credulous.

He's in good company. There's a credulous person born every minute.

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000



Dinosaur Gum

I post on a forum where everyone is goddamn stupid

Love Rat
Jan 15, 2008

I've made a psycho call to the woman I love, I've kicked a dog to death, and now I'm going to pepper spray an acquaintance. Something... I mean, what's happened to me?

Zane posted:

these are actually nubs of active philosophical problems. nominalism vs. realism. mechanism vs. teleology. subjectivism vs. objectivism. mind/body problem. they're just not dressed up properly. WHOSE THE DUMMY NOW?!?!!

All which can be summarized by "woah, the Matrix was like really deep man... How do we know that we're not all a dream of God or brains in vats?"

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

*Suck My Balls*

Grimey Drawer

every single person in another car when im driving


i hope they all DIE!!!!

green chicken feet
Nov 5, 2015

spray-paint the vegetables
dog food stalls
with the beefcake pantyhose

Grimey Drawer

I knew a woman who thought that when she wrote a check - a pen-and-paper check, not an electronic transaction or something - that the bank would automatically adjust the account balance to reflect that the check had been written.

She wondered why she kept bouncing checks. "The bank showed there was enough money in the account!"

I feel kind of bad saying this is stupid because in part I see it as a failing of the education system. But it should be obvious that the bank can't know you've written a check until someone cashes/deposits it. Banks don't have psychic powers or ubiquitous surveillance. Yet.

Love Rat
Jan 15, 2008

I've made a psycho call to the woman I love, I've kicked a dog to death, and now I'm going to pepper spray an acquaintance. Something... I mean, what's happened to me?

Nathilus posted:

Friendship is a function of time and trust. Horrifying stupidity or lack of it doesnt have much to do with it.

Your REAL friends are the ones you can trust to have your back in an emergency. The people you otherwise call friends are people you know and like well enough to trust generally. Just sometimes those same people couldnt find their own rear end with two hands, a flashlight, and an assistant.

I think I lucked out by developing friendships with people who have my back and are reasonably intelligent. Even the "dumbest" guy I knew had some basic common sense and coherent ideas. We didn't agree on fundamental points, but I could always see where he was coming from. Got to have some standards. I'll just chalk that up to taste, or how I decide who to develop relationships with, I guess.

Love Rat fucked around with this message at Jun 14, 2018 around 02:59

Creamed Cormp
Jan 8, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 6 days!


Chinatown posted:

every single person in another car when im driving


i hope they all DIE!!!!

everyone does that though

Love Rat
Jan 15, 2008

I've made a psycho call to the woman I love, I've kicked a dog to death, and now I'm going to pepper spray an acquaintance. Something... I mean, what's happened to me?

I think the dumbest thing I've ever seen a person do is snort coffee grounds to see if the coffee would have stimulative effects, resulting in a nosebleed. The same guy was a raging methhead at the time, so...

region25
Apr 30, 2002

deep brain stimulation

I know a guy that fell out of a third story balcony and a guy who went to South America to do ayahuasca, but they're also two of the smartest people I've ever met

Love Rat
Jan 15, 2008

I've made a psycho call to the woman I love, I've kicked a dog to death, and now I'm going to pepper spray an acquaintance. Something... I mean, what's happened to me?

region25 posted:

I know a guy that fell out of a third story balcony and a guy who went to South America to do ayahuasca, but they're also two of the smartest people I've ever met


There's definitely a difference between doing something stupid and being stupid. Though I fail to see how any of these two things are inherently stupid. How did your friend fall out of the balcony?

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

gimme those gat dang candies



there's this one guy i know who is so incredibly dumb that he clicked on a w98 thread (it's me)

Pick
Jul 19, 2009



Grimey Drawer

We're getting into the smart/"smart" distinction again. A lot of "smart" people aren't smart, and many of the smartest people are just lowkey pragmatic and informed public citizens who don't have a detailed knowledge of... rhibozomes, but just live fulfilling lives with quiet sensibility.

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Isaac
Aug 3, 2006



Fun Shoe

My coworker is a freakin shovel!!

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