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Zereth
Jul 9, 2003



CmdrKing posted:


Xenosaga 3 is a game in which Mary of Magdala's soul and cybernetically resurrected corpse have a beam struggle with boob cannons, because they have control over the powers of chaos, who did you know was ACTUALLY the power behind Jesus of Nazareth's miracles because he was just a dude with some revolutionary ideals, after which the main character chooses her abusive ex-boyfriend, whomst literally killed himself to distress her enough to finish building the Mary-robot and get emotionally attached to same, then five minutes later decides actually, wait, all that stuff you said was abuse which all my friends told me ten minutes ago, and stops. Then you fight some sort of robot that will reset the universe built by the devil, because it turns out humans suck SO BADLY that it's killing the universe because even after they die they hate other people so much they become ghosts (that's what gnosis are! Ghosts. Literally the souls of the dead refusing to move on.) it's causing the soul-death of the universe.
Xenosaga 3 is half of a good game and half of two other games smooshed together with so little breathing room it amounts to a plot summary, and the underlying plot is so loving dumb that it would take a lot of nuance and execution to give it emotional weight or resonance but... nope, all that happens in the span of 2-3 hours of gameplay, during which you have multiple long boss fights.
wait


that's what the deal with KOS-MOS is?

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Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Kemix posted:

Considering it was supposed to be three more games, ending on a really annoying cliffhanger that NEVER got any conclusion, they kinda needed to shove all that in one after another. RIP Xenosaga, you were killed because your second game sucked so badly because it got the Sonic 06 treatment, being thrown out into the wild before it was completely baked.

there's a lot more too it, including the entire development team getting swapped out, the main writer fired and most of the script dumped out (with Ziggy's backstory getting split off into the mobile game), but yeah the battle mechanics were half-baked and clearly no one really tested it given it's incredibly slow even by JRPG standards.

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
Don't forget Xenogears was supposed to be part of that clusterfuck, too :shepface:

Pizuz
Sep 15, 2008

Ubiquitous_ posted:

I must have blacked out that part of my experience of FTNW as I don't remember much mandatory backtracking. Unless you mean the visits back to the detective agency?

It‘s been ages since I played it, but I seem to remember having to visit every dungeon again for that big native guy to hunt stuff. I might be wrong.

ManSedan
May 7, 2006
Seats 4

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Don't forget Xenogears was supposed to be part of that clusterfuck, too :shepface:

If I recall correctly in one of the Xenosaga games you meet a character who looks like Fei, I think it’s implied it’s the lone survivor from XGs opening cutscene?

Geostomp
Oct 22, 2008

Unite: MASH!!
~They've got the bad guys on the run!~

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Don't forget Xenogears was supposed to be part of that clusterfuck, too :shepface:

Wasn’t it supposed to be like fourth or fifth place in the timeline of the series.

Jagged Jim
Sep 26, 2013

I... I can only look though the window...

Geostomp posted:

Wasn’t it supposed to be like fourth or fifth place in the timeline of the series.



There were a whole bunch of Xenogears references in the first Xenosaga including loving Vanderkaum for some reason.

a cartoon duck
Sep 5, 2011

Jagged Jim posted:

There were a whole bunch of Xenogears references in the first Xenosaga including loving Vanderkaum for some reason.

Vanderkaum is the single aspect of the Xeno meta-franchise to be in every game, up to and including the Xenoblade games that are otherwise completely detached from Xenogears and Xenosaga.

Nohman
Sep 19, 2007
Never been worse.
That was a nice ending. I can't wait to see how it all gets ruined by the unstoppable force that is canon. Also I hope Covenant gets a LP too because I want to read more adventures of God Puncher Yuri. :allears:

Malachite_Dragon posted:

yeah, it's weird in that both endings, in a fashion, are canon. Sort of.

But enough of that! Most importantly...

Keith, what the gently caress is that face you're making?!

Dude just wants to take a loving nap and these trifling bitches all up in his business.

The Dark Id
Aug 13, 2005

Why
you
know
I
LOVE
THIS SHIT !!!!
[citation needed]
So Shadow Hearts has a couple of attract screen trailers if you let the game sit on the title menu for a bit. I didn't post them initially since they show some junk from later game. Also I forgot they existed until now. There are some... questionable choices for in-game B-Roll.


Video: Shadow Hearts Attract Screen

Ubiquitous_
Nov 20, 2013

by Reene

Pizuz posted:

It‘s been ages since I played it, but I seem to remember having to visit every dungeon again for that big native guy to hunt stuff. I might be wrong.

Oh yeah! That’s his character quest and is totally optional. I recall the final one being annoying to find.

Sum Gai
Mar 23, 2013

Geostomp posted:

Wasn’t it supposed to be like fourth or fifth place in the timeline of the series.

My understanding is that Xenosaga is an alternate universe take on things- it's not actually the backstory to Xenogears, it's unrelated but uses similar characters and concepts.

The Dark Id
Aug 13, 2005

Why
you
know
I
LOVE
THIS SHIT !!!!
[citation needed]


Episode LXXXVI: Hiding a Curse



Welp. We had our happy end to Shadow Hearts. Unfortunately, that ending is obtuse to the point that if you didn't have a guide or access to the internet, it's very unlikely that would be the ending you would get on your first playthrough. Remember the steps were, in review:
  • Talking to Joshua after the events at Calios Mental Hospital. He was up to that point was an NPC that did gently caress all but stand in place repeating a single line of dialogue after his events in the previous chapter concluded. He gave you a special item with zero indication of its significance to getting the good ending and no fanfare whatsoever.
  • Reading the description of that item and realizing it was talking about the Four Masks.
  • Purposefully building up Malice, a thing the game had taught the player not to do early on because an enemy that would whip their rear end would show up.
  • Grinding Mask encounters until they showed up in the proper order and defeating all four. A task that took me, knowing exactly what to do from the start and going to an area where random battles were trivial but frequent, nearly two hours to complete.
  • Returning to the Graveyard with Yuri and examining the small grave to see Alice's name is now on it. This is a 100% critical step and the game makes ZERO mention it needs to be done, even if you figured out defeating the masks on your own.
  • Defeating Atman.
I sure as poo poo didn't get the Good Ending on my first playthrough, where I did manage most of the sidequest content on my own and I'd wager most people didn't either. Hell, just in-universe this would require Yuri to read and comprehend a random item description in a game where item description fluff has actually been a critical detail exactly three times and all of them have been end game optional content. That's asking more than I'd personally ever expect Yuri to do.

So let's rewind the game and do things the "right" way. We're heading to back to all sidequests complete but before breaking Alice's Four Mask Curse.


Music: Atmosphere - Blow Up




We should probably get back to Rog and see if he's done... err...
...What were we waiting on again?
A teleporter to the Neameto Float.
Riiiiiiight! The final dungeon in space. It's a good thing Albert was way off on that seven days thing, huh?
Huh. I forgot all about that time limit.
Heck yeah. Same till just now.
He was way off base!
Tch. He was just doing a big baddie speech and pulled that timeframe out of his rear end. They always do that. It's a rookie villain monologue mistake. You gotta throw out a vague declaration like "the end is nigh" or "your doom approaches" and leave it at that. Put a concrete date down and you look like an idiot when it's like... err... how long have we been off farting around?
Nearly two months... Wait... Haven't we had this conversation before...?
...Probably. Gonna be real, I'm only half paying attention half the time. Now... we ready to go do this or are we forgettin' something?
Well...




No... it's nothing.
You sure?
Yeah... Don't worry about it. It's probably fine. Probably...
<shrug> OK. Let's mosey.
......



Music: Callback from Jesus




OK. Things just more or less proceed as normal for a while here. Remembering, speaking with Roger Bacon at any point after Koudelka peaces out of plot relevance is the trigger to unlock Neameto Float as well as lock in the ending path the player will receive.



Yes, I know it's absurd I'm still tinkering with it despite the gap of time since you lot last showed up. I've barely touched the thing since your group left. I know how you young folk are with your gallivanting around with optional content when you should be saving the world.
That's just the way of things. I don't make the rules.
It's fine. Just go... get some sleep or something. I'll be done in the morning.
'kay.
...
So do you like... have any extra guest beds or...?
No.
<looks around> Do YOU even have a bed somewhere in here?
Nope.
OK. Where do you sleep then?
I once USED to have a very comfortable coffin in the monastery but a certain trio burnt it down. I'll never get as good a sleep as that thing so I don't even bother anymore.
I have more questions but I'm just gonna save 'em...
Wise decision.





Music: Graveyard Moon






<looks around> Or... just me... Why am I getting a sense of déjà vu...?
It's that graveyard again... It’s almost as if this entire world was waiting for me…
Like some kind of curse.
...
...Oh. Crud...


Alice walks further into the graveyard and collapses to her knees.



We've done this already. No need to examine the graves this time around. They just say the same thing as our visit here in the previous timeline. So let's go straight to the Four Masks to get the score.



Ho... ho... ho...! It seems our spell has finally taken you!
Yeh... heh... heh... You're just lucky the sacred covenant of the side quest kept us at bay for so long, girlie.

Bwa... ha... ha...! What’s wrong little girl? You struggle, but your soul’s fate lies here.
Tsk... tsk... tsk... No accursed orphan relic this time, eh?
...What now? I don't understand.
Ho... ho... ho...! Don't worry about it.

Yeh... heh... heh...! If you could, you would die for your love, hmmm?

Tsk... tsk... tsk...! Go now to the depths of the evil dimension.

The gate behind the masks opens.



Alice enters the evil dimension.




<presses hands to her chest>
Hmph… Do you fear me?
Oh, you?!
I'm not sure... I don't know what I am talking to...
It's Atman. It's not that hard to remember. I swear, some people...
...What?
Oh, you don't know... Right... It's a different ti—Ahem... I mean... BEHOLD!






I am Atman, the executioner of spirit sacrifice. I bring death to your soul.
<looks around>
Looking for someone to come and save you? Unfortunately, you’re all alone here. No one is coming to your rescue, you’re quite alone. Do you have any regrets about dying for that man?
<shakes head> No, I have no regrets.
No regrets, eh? Oh, I think we can fix that...
Such a courageous girl. How delicious your pure, unsullied soul must be…
...
......
Do you hear that sound?
N-no.
That's right. Nothing. Silence. Isn't it grand?

Come. The final wedge has been driven into the Judgment Ring. You’ll become one with my darkness…
!?




Music: Thorn of Mind








Time for a solo battle between Alice Elliott and Atman. The creature still only has 4000 HP to its name. Alice might not be the heaviest hitter in the party. In fact, she's one of the weakest overall.





But, you know, backed into a corner she can still hold her own alright. Advent is still an ultimate Light elemental technique and can do some pretty decent work. It'll be a tough road but if we are careful, this is still probably doable without Yuri.



...Oh. That... that ain't great...



OK, so Atman is only taking 1 HP of damage from magical attacks. That's alright. I mean, Alice still has her ultimate weapon. What if we gave that a whirl instead?



...Welp. We did 3 HP of damage. Only 3996 health left to go. If we just keep this up another 1333 rounds then Atman will go down in no time.





Sure, Alice will have to stop and heal herself like every third turn. So it'll be more like 2000ish turns overall. Though that isn't taking into considering Alice's SP. So that'll need to be sorted out every 16 round. But we do have that massive stock of weird consumables we could finally burn through. Maybe this is still doable.







Oh... right. Eradication, the attack of the many Atman and the rotating JPEG of Alice's father. Well, as long as we immediately use Arc the next turn it should be fi—



...Oh. Huh.



As it turns out, if we don't defeat all of the Four Masks not only does Yuri not show up to team up with Alice, Atman is also invincible and will simply one-shot Alice after four rounds as Eradication does 999 damage regardless of defenses or levels. Alice is just plain hosed.

Music: ENDS




Music: Callback from Jesus




Alice stands up from her nap on the floor.



I know Roger doesn't have any beds or anything, but there's gotta be a better place to sleep than the middle of some stairs.
<nods> I’m okay. I just had a bad dream, that's all.



And that's it. We get no slideshow debrief about how Yuri is actually a good boy. Alice simply rejoins the party and we're back on our way.



And at this point, we're free to travel to Neameto Float. Since we didn't defeat Atman, we didn't meet the prerequisite to go face Ben Hyuga and obtain Seraphic Radiance. Remember, that happens after the Atman business. And also canonically... Yuri didn't do any of that either. Amon is the strongest Fusion he obtained. So, I guess we'll just have to make do with what we've got.



Tune in next time as we revisit Neameto Float. If the final dungeon felt kind of sparse, until the end, narrative-wise what with just the bosses unceremoniously appearing and dying as we traveled mostly in silence floor to dubiously defined floor... maybe there was a reason for that. Maybe the Good Ending path has significantly fewer cutscenes for the final stretch of the game... Tune in next time for the last dungeon speed run as the Shadow Hearts begins its death march to the conclusion.





It didn't feel right to have the last Library dump of the game affixed to the Good Ending. So I'll just bolt it on to the start of the Normal Ending path instead. :v:

MONSTER:



He also enjoys kicking back with a six-pack after his shift ends at the Neameto Float giving its big ol' beer gut.



I know it's supposed to be a sword but at a glance, it looks like he's holding a charred low-poly baguette.



OK... like how much peeping were you doing at a Franciscan monastery in Bumbfuck Wales, guy? Did you get to spy Bessy Hartman's gams while she was helping with all the serial killing back in the day?



I saw that thing lurching around in battle. To say it swiped its claws at the speed of light is a BIT of an overstatement.



Look, God got REALLY drunk that night. He really cut back after He woke up the next morning and found this thing out back in the Garden of Eden.



Wait, so a hungover God tried to fix up his huge gently caress-up creation by replacing tree branches limbs with stubby wings and dyeing its hair blonde? I have questions, Lord.



Nothing is more powerful than a legless rock dude. Nothing.



Oh word? The creature named literally "Hate" is full of hate? hosed up if true.



This creature lives in a humid area? You know, undersea and/or in the upper atmosphere of Wales, known for its humid temperatures year round.



Falling off the wagon later that week, God took one more crack at this monster by giving it a hula-hoop for limbs, putting tattoos on its breasts, a platinum blonde dye job and finally the ability to produce offspring. I feel like YHWH might need an intervention.



Hey, he looks like a tiny Baraka from Mortal Kombat beneath that hood. That's adorable.



So many of these descriptions feel the need to inform us that the monster in question smells weird.



Deicide is a cool word that I never even considered being a thing. Which is weird considering how many gods I've murdered in video games.



I never noticed his idle animation was just standing on his big beefy arm. I don't know if that's a great way to live your life, Albert. But you do you.



In case you were wondering, Meta-God is in fact just a sufficiently advanced alien and not actual capital G God like the one James O'Flaherty evoked to Rapture himself and his resurrected college crush back in Koudelka.



Finally, this doesn't really count for the Library. But the stats on the left are the final Score we obtained in the playthrough for the LP. Seraphim, huh? We ended up as Skinless Jesus rank? Sure... That sounds about right.




Video: Episode 86 Highlight Reel



Video: Shadow Hearts Attract Screen
(Some real odd choices of scenes and in-game B-Roll for these.)

The Dark Id fucked around with this message at 21:24 on Feb 19, 2019

Shitenshi
Mar 12, 2013
If you shark Alice here and by extension Yuri for the first encounter with Fox Face to be overpowered, does the game just carry on as if you lost anyway?

Brainamp
Sep 4, 2011

More Zen than Zenyatta

Nice of Alice to not even try cluing Yuri into the shitstorm that was that "dream." Like not even a, "Hey, so I had this funky dream about a graveyard and masks. Should I be worried?"

Commander Keene
Dec 21, 2016

Faster than the others



Brainamp posted:

Nice of Alice to not even try cluing Yuri into the shitstorm that was that "dream." Like not even a, "Hey, so I had this funky dream about a graveyard and masks. Should I be worried?"
Eh, it was a dream. You generally don't remember that much about them after they're over.

Deep Dish Fuckfest
Sep 6, 2006

Advanced
Computer Touching


Toilet Rascal
Especially when that dream sucks out your soul. Those are the worst. You wake up with a headache and not remembering what happened the previous night, let alone what happened in your dream. And if it's really bad you'll spend a chunk of the day puking.

Geostomp
Oct 22, 2008

Unite: MASH!!
~They've got the bad guys on the run!~

Brainamp posted:

Nice of Alice to not even try cluing Yuri into the shitstorm that was that "dream." Like not even a, "Hey, so I had this funky dream about a graveyard and masks. Should I be worried?"

I’d imagine that it wouldn’t do any good by that point. She’s on borrowed time now and nothing Yuri could do would fix it. Better to let him focus on saving the world than let him obsess over her upcoming fate worse than death.

Verant
Oct 20, 2012

Go on an adventure ordained by fate?
-->Okay.
-->Eh.
At least the whole soul death thing seems to take a while to catch up to you. Final dungeon wouldn't be terribly fun without the healer.

Pesky Splinter
Feb 16, 2011

A worried pug.

Shitenshi posted:

If you shark Alice here and by extension Yuri for the first encounter with Fox Face to be overpowered, does the game just carry on as if you lost anyway?

Alice and Yuri are still K'Od, even with infinite health and buffed stats, and the game carries on as normal.

The boss will enter their weakened state animation, but they'll never die. And the battles actually last longer because Yuri/Alice's buffed speed stat gives them a ton of turns, but they'll still be K'Od, when the bosses use their specific K'O attack.

The only boss that I'm aware it's possible to gently caress up the scripting is Zhuzhen's fight with Wugui - if he's equipped a Leonardo's Bear, and his stats/health are sharked, it's a no-win situation; Wugui can't be killed, and can't do enough damage to Zhuzhen, who will also be immune to Game of Death so the fight never ends.

Marmaduke!
May 19, 2009

Why would it do that!?
Alice is a Good Person who doesn't feel the need to bore the world telling them about the weird dreams she's been having.

Tylana
May 5, 2011

Pillbug
On the note of what you need for the Happy Ending, don't you also need to do the torture with Dehaui perfectly or something?

Commander Keene
Dec 21, 2016

Faster than the others



Tylana posted:

On the note of what you need for the Happy Ending, don't you also need to do the torture with Dehaui perfectly or something?
Does Kowloon have something you need for that ending? Because iirc that's what the torture sequence unlocks.

Materant
Jul 22, 2010

see, what you don't understand is he now has

THE MANLIEST MUSTACHE

it defies physics


Tylana posted:

On the note of what you need for the Happy Ending, don't you also need to do the torture with Dehaui perfectly or something?

No. The only thing that gets you is access to Kowloon. The only deciding factors in the ending split are if you killed the Four Masks and examined Alice's grave in Yuri's mindscape once it actually gets her name on it. One or the other won't do it, either. I think the justification there is that even if Yuri knows about what Alice is doing, if he can't break past the Four Masks in time, poo poo goes down anyway.

Materant fucked around with this message at 13:34 on Feb 19, 2019

The Dark Id
Aug 13, 2005

Why
you
know
I
LOVE
THIS SHIT !!!!
[citation needed]
I said earlier I'd make a video for all the Special Skills of the benchwarmer trio and I did. I caught up on quite a few podcasts grinding out these jag-offs...


Video: Benchwarmer Special Skill Reel


For reference, the skills shown are:
    Halley's ESP:
  • Black Hole - 75 MP - Darkness damage on enemies; plus chance of Instant Death.
  • Reviver - 65 MP - Brings target back to life and fully restores HP.
  • Shock Max - 120 MP - Inflicts heavy non-class damage on single target.

    Keith's Rituals:
  • Blood Sucker - 54 MP - Sucks up a large amount of target's HP. Restores Keith's HP.
  • Hecatoncheire - 70 MP - The giant Hecatoncheire causes a huge earthquake to all enemies.
  • Apsaras - 80 MP - Damages enemies (Water elemental) and cures all allies' status ailments.
  • Larva - 96 MP - Heavy Earth elemental damage on a single target; plus inflicts Poison, Paralysis, Silence status effects.
  • Gift - 120 MP - God of Death gives all enemies a little present. Dark elemental damage.

    Zhuzhen's Ying and Yang:
  • Fury Serpent - 70 MP - Attack all enemies with violent snows and flood. Water elemental damage.
  • Thunder Roar - 90 MP - Attack all enemies with a severe thunderstorm. Wind elemental damage.
  • Flames of Fudo - 120 MP - Fudo's raging flames burn all enemies.

Skanker
Mar 21, 2013
Thunder Roar is impressively low effort. Like there was a second part to it they forgot to include.

Geostomp
Oct 22, 2008

Unite: MASH!!
~They've got the bad guys on the run!~
I took two things from that video:

1) Halley sounds like a sick cat
2) Keith really should have been the Dark party member

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

~Groovy~


Geostomp posted:

Keith really should have been the Dark party member

If nothing else his little hums while attacking are so great :3:

Ubiquitous_
Nov 20, 2013

by Reene
Are you planning on LPing Covenant, TDI?

Ubiquitous_ fucked around with this message at 03:49 on Feb 20, 2019

StandardVC10
Feb 6, 2007

This avatar now 50% more dark mode compliant
Dunno but word of mouth from this thread has made me pretty curious about it regardless.

cardinale
Jul 11, 2016

Space Cadet Omoly posted:

If nothing else his little hums while attacking are so great :3:

I always used to put him in my party for this exact reason!

GimmickMan
Dec 27, 2011

Keith waving of his swords like they're magic wands is so goofy, that kid is precious.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


GimmickMan posted:

Keith waving of his swords like they're magic wands is so goofy, that kid is precious.

Keith only has one sword. The other thing is the scabbard, which really just seems more ridiculous.

Picayune
Feb 26, 2007

cannot be unseen
Taco Defender
don't mind me, just doodling elaborate magical circles in the air with my sword and scabbard, hum de hum~

Randomzx
Jul 26, 2007

Ubiquitous_ posted:

Are you planning on LPing Covenant, TDI?

If he's not, he could still continue the TDI theme with Infinite Space (PlatinumGames), the main character's name is even Yuri.

The Dark Id
Aug 13, 2005

Why
you
know
I
LOVE
THIS SHIT !!!!
[citation needed]
Episode LXXXVII: Death March Speedrun


Music: Nobody Knocks the Door




Welcome back to Neameto Float. It's like we never left! If the title of the update didn't clue you in, we are going to be skipping through a lot of the joint this go around. It's mostly repeated content. And since I no longer feel the need to see every random battle enemy type nor pick up every wayward item, the traversal of the dungeon will go a touch quicker. That's not to say it will actually take that shorter a time on my end. But you don't need to worry about that.





Everything goes exactly the same as last time with Yuri finding a laser force field, doubling back to an earlier room to search for no particular reason and the party getting split up for all of three minutes. This time around Zhuzhen got trapped instead of Alice. Which is a shame, since I was going to let him go be party member and hit the switch since I felt a little bad sandbagging him for never being in the active party again. Oh well. The universe does not want Zhuzhen to get a chance to shine, no matter how briefly.



If you're curious, Zhuzhen being trapped instead changes basically no dialogue. So there's no need to get into specifics for that bizarre design choice of reshuffling the party for two minutes before never doing it again.





Naturally, we need to fight all of the bosses again. I power-leveled the benchwarming characters off-screen so I could show off all their high-end Special Skills. This has also resulted in Yuri being like Level 64.



Which is probably for the best, since we need to offset the fact we no longer have Seraphic Radiance's huge buffs and core stat boosts that made the rather unimpressive bosses on each floor go much quicker. Unfortunately, that means these fights just take twice as long since the primary damage output is falling back to the Amon Fusion and spamming Demon Rays. I brought Keith along this time since his final few Rituals have much better damage output than anything Margarete has in her toolset.



Still... I was not looking forward to doing any fights in this dungeon. Remember, everything had at minimum like 8000 HP.



But once we do beat one of the Float's floor roadblock bosses, we are now treated with a new scene in the Normal Ending timeline. They all universally begin with Alice growing faint and collapsing to her knees. That probably isn't a great sign...

Yuri rushes over to Alice. The rest of the party crowd around her.



I just feel a little faint. That’s all…
You look pale.
And that is saying something since you usually look like a ghost.
Are you sure you’re not feeling ill?

Alice rises back to her feet.



...




Music: Star Shape






I'm sure that's nothing to worry about. Let's just continue pressing forward. This next area was a huge pain in the rear end to traverse when going back and forth Soul Block's boss arena a half dozen times in order to disable every gate and pillage every tantalizing chest. But since we're skipping all that poo poo this go around, it actually only takes like three minutes to dash straight to Hate.







It's a tad on the demoralizing side to just post three summarizing screenshots and call it a day to shuffle past a ten-minute chunk of your life you'll never get back. But such is the dark underbelly of editing an LP.



Time for another new scene which once more starts with Alice's knees buckling.

Everyone rushes up to Alice. Margarete kneels down to help her.



N-no… Please, not yet… The time is…
Time? What about the time?
I think it was like 6:30 PM when we left...? Dunno how long we've been here. I think it's gonna be a late night.

Margarete helps Alice up.



I… feel short of breath…
<turns to the rest of the party> Go ahead, everyone.
You’re not coming?
I’ll take Alice and follow right behind you. Okay?
<looks to the other party members>
<nods>
<nods> Okay, I got it. I’ll be waiting.
We ain't gonna go too far ahead. Don't want you to get into some kind of random battle without us.

The boys shuffle off to the next floor.



<shakes head> I’m… don’t have anything to hide…
<turns toward Alice> Come on, spit it out.
In case you have forgotten, I *am* a spy. It is literally my job to get secrets out of other people. And every single one of those people I've gotten secrets from has been a MUCH better liar than you.
You’re just keeping quiet because you don’t want Yuri to worry.
And you're doing a bad job of that. He is already super worried. That is another one that is just godawful at hiding anything. No wonder you two are hooking up...
I don’t have much time left. I received a curse from the Four Masks when I rescued him from his mind’s darkness.



...
...I will be truthful with you. I have NO idea what that means. But I do know the part where curses are a bad deal.

<nods> Yes. I offered my life to save his. It’s almost time to close the deal.
No…!
<clasps hands together> Please, Margarete. Don’t say anything to him. I don’t want him to know.
I feel like he sort of knows but not how to fix it. And I don't know either. These things always sort of worked themselves out on their own before, you know?
Alice…
There is no ghost or monster we could beat up to fix the curse? That worked last time you were cursed. We can't beat up these masked guys?
I think it is too late for that...

<shakes head> I don’t know how much time I have left, but I want to stay with him until the end…
<walks up to Alice and nods> Okay, I’ll help you. Hang on, Alice! We’re going to get through this together.
<clasps hands together> Thank you, Margarete!
<nods>




Music: Middle of Nowhere








You know it'd be a real dick move if Alice, your primary healer, just keeled over dead half-way through the final dungeon of the game. It turns out they gave the player 87 varieties of varying curative consumables for a reason. But I don't think any JRPG has the balls to actually do something like that. That aside, this teleporter maze still takes roughly as long as it did the first time through.







And then, of course, there is throwing down with this apparently fruity citrus smelling monstrosity. I would have gone with a stench of rotting meat given the whole skinless goat and whatever is going on with this necks. But what do I know about ancient alien mutants or... whatever the hell classification you'd put this mess under. Anyway, the third boss means the third and final new scene.



I’m okay…
It's probably nothing...
...
...Probably.


Yuri walks up to Alice and kneels down.



<looks at the other three and motions them to move on>
<nods>

The rest of the party continue down the path leaving Yuri and Alice alone. Yuri stands up and looks away from Alice.



I’m fine.
I'm a big dumbass about most things and even I know that ain't true...
<turns around> It’s just a little further. Whether we win and go home, or lose and turn to nothing… I’ll always be with you.
<stands up and nods> Yes.

The rest of the party wanders back.



We will make it back alive!
<nods>



And with that we reach the point of no return. This is going to be way more of a slog without Seraphic Radiance. But, we'll get it done.





Didja miss us? I hope you didn't have that goat flesh pillar outside as the only one to talk to because I've got some bad news...
Oh heavens no. The scapegoat was very evangelistic religious with all its chat. They were tiresome conversations, if I am to be frank. I will not miss them. But I am glad you all have joined me. It is shame the end is so near and you won't be able to see the new world I'll create.
<shakes head> Gonna be real, a world made by some space god and a 400-year old white English guy sounds hella boring.
No. It'll be great! Hush!
If you say so champ. Anyway, I've grown to respect you on some level.
...Why?
<shrug> I dunno. I gotta lot on my mind lately. Anyway, let's have a good clean fight. No second forms or God fusions or self-destruct sequences if you lose, OK?
Can I transform once?
Tch... Fine! But only if it's at the beginning of the fight.
I agree to those terms, sir.
Cool.








Well, at least this time around Yuri gets to dunk on Albert Simon with the Fusion he stole off him earlier. That's fun. What isn't fun is the part were this fight took fifteen minutes. Grace, the 2000+ HP heal that Messiah does the first time it gets low on health, is way more demoralizing when it takes like eight minutes to get to that point.



But, with Crucifixes and Will Powers equipped on everyone it's no more difficult than it was the first go around. Just longer to seal the deal. It's not like Shadow Hearts got any more balanced in gameplay just because we're using the really overpowered Fusion over the absurdly overpowered Fusion.


Music: ALICE




We got you last time too. You just went nuh-uh immediately after that fight.
Indeed. That was less than sporting of me. I apologize.
It's cool.
In any event, if you're strong enough to defeat me maybe you stand a chance to defeat God. If that is possible, maybe humanity can keep on living. Even if what is coming next in history is its own unique horror.
Dunno what that means, but OK. It's worth a shot. I can punch God and see what happens.
...
...So is he gonna show up here or...?
I am sending you to space now. Good luck.
Wait, wh—!?






<in sophisticated British gentleman> I say, barf...



Music: ENDS



Aww hell we're in space!
It's actually the stratosphere, I think.
Nobody cares, nerd!
...
Crud! Sorry! I'm just excited about being in space.




I do believe God is here.
THAT is God?
I hope those are legs and not... well... you know...




Get down here you all mighty pissboy!! You gotta date with my fist!!



Aww heck... Can God understand English?
English? You hit your head, kid? We've been speaking Mandarin the whole time.
...You mean French, right?
Are you saying you all haven't been speaking Romanian?
What are you all on about? You've definitely been speaking the Queen's tongue.
<nods> Yuri and Halley are right.
Gonna be real... I dunno language names too well. I just heard English thrown around a lot. What do they speak in Japan, again?
Japanese...?
That's the one! I think that's what I grew up knowing.
...
...How has this never come up before?!
We'd been kinda busy.
<frown> This is a puzzling revelation. But perhaps we could discuss it another time? There are... more pressing issues.
Ah right.
<cracks knuckles> Sorry, big guy. Lemme show you the one true language of the fist!!



Music: Imbroglio




This version of events is much less satisfying for one key reason...



Amon is simply not beefy enough to knock Meta-God the gently caress out in a single turn using the exact same set-up as last time.



It took two turns. I suppose more of a struggle is more appropriate to a final end of a series conflict and all. But, you know... Yuri just glaring dead-eyed at a deity while rubbing himself all over with and/or scarfing down assorted mystical relics before letting loose is a fun mental image.





Aaaaaand TIME! That concludes our speedrun of the Normal Ending of Shadow Hearts. Tune in next time for the fruits of our labor and the conclusion of the LP as Shadow Hearts comes to a close...






Video: Benchwarmer Special Skill Reel
(This took a while to make so go watch it, ya jerk!)

I said earlier I'd make a video for all the Special Skills of the benchwarmer trio and I did. I caught up on quite a few podcasts grinding out these jag-offs...

For reference, the skills shown are:
    Halley's ESP:
  • Black Hole - 75 MP - Darkness damage on enemies; plus chance of Instant Death.
  • Reviver - 65 MP - Brings target back to life and fully restores HP.
  • Shock Max - 120 MP - Inflicts heavy non-class damage on single target.

    Keith's Rituals:
  • Blood Sucker - 54 MP - Sucks up a large amount of target's HP. Restores Keith's HP.
  • Hecatoncheire - 70 MP - The giant Hecatoncheire causes a huge earthquake to all enemies.
  • Apsaras - 80 MP - Damages enemies (Water elemental) and cures all allies' status ailments.
  • Larva - 96 MP - Heavy Earth elemental damage on a single target; plus inflicts Poison, Paralysis, Silence status effects.
  • Gift - 120 MP - God of Death gives all enemies a little present. Dark elemental damage.

    Zhuzhen's Ying and Yang:
  • Fury Serpent - 70 MP - Attack all enemies with violent snows and flood. Water elemental damage.
  • Thunder Roar - 90 MP - Attack all enemies with a severe thunderstorm. Wind elemental damage.
  • Flames of Fudo - 120 MP - Fudo's raging flames burn all enemies.

The Dark Id fucked around with this message at 19:42 on Feb 26, 2019

Geostomp
Oct 22, 2008

Unite: MASH!!
~They've got the bad guys on the run!~
Alice's near-fainting spells give this fairly boring dungeon a lot more character. A sense of impending dread that, so far, our dapper dark wizard and cosmic horror have failed to incite.

Nohman
Sep 19, 2007
Never been worse.
I think things are going to work out for Alice.

Nohman
Sep 19, 2007
Never been worse.
Edit: Crap. Double post.

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The Dark Id
Aug 13, 2005

Why
you
know
I
LOVE
THIS SHIT !!!!
[citation needed]
Bumping post to the next page.

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