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Endorph posted:also: i'm not here to tell you how to live your life, but i think its okay to hate people who are monsters. you dont have to forgive them, you dont have to say theyre a cool person. your dad's a piece of poo poo. present tense. if focusing on that doesn't make you happy, that's fine, but the idea you're promoting there is kind of actually super dangerous. there's this idea (especially among more marginalized groups like women, gay people, trans people, racial minorities, etc) that you have to forgive people that have transgressed against you, that have done harm to you, that not doing so makes you a bad person. and that's a terrible thing because you don't have to. sometimes, anger against the people that hurt you is all you have. being denied even that blocks off the one kind of catharsis you have. Hi, good morning. I'm just going to preface this by saying I'm not denying what you said in anyway and anyone is more than right to hold onto feelings of hate towards their abuser. However, I wanted to address that in Indigenous thought and culture there is an emphasis on letting go of that hate that you feel towards your parents from abuse. As I'm sure most people are aware some real hosed up poo poo was done to Indigenous people in the past through resettlement and the use of the residential school system. This system dragged young kids away from their parents, their culture, and were most often abused. Because of this a whole generation of people lost a model of what proper parenting was. This was the root of transgenerational trauma that is still affecting Indigenous people. So one of the things emphasized by our culture, our elders, my grandfather; who survived the residential school experience; is breaking that circle of hate so we don't pass it on. My Dad was abused horribly by his mom, my kunsi as I call her. She would regularly beat my Dad with a power cord and abandoned him in the middle of North Dakota when he 12 years so she could go to a Powwow. However he was fortunate enough to experience love from his grandmother and pass that on to me. My Dad still holds ill feelings towards his Mom but he has forgiven her by understanding what she went through in the residential school system and has moved on. I was really loving fortunate because of that and am in a pretty good place. Our Elders, at least here, regularly talk about how the vast majority of us now are too damaged physically and mentally from the traumas of the past. Our best hope for the future is the next generation and we need to forgive our parents for their lack of parenting skills in order to break the circle of hate and show children the love they need in order to live good lives. Again, I'm not denying what you said but different cultures have different beliefs and value systems that affect how we live our lives. Indigenous people are very generational and are still recovering from the trauma they experienced. Also also I always feel uncomfortable talking about Indigenous issues because I'm half and have spent more time off my reserve than on it. I should also say that Indigenous people are not monolithic and I can only speak for what I've been taught by my own community. I am not speaking for Space in any way, shape, or form.
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Jun 26, 2018 17:28
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I am aware this is the season thread and I’m 180cm tall
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Jun 26, 2018 20:27
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