- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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the power to watch back to the future and not have my immersion broken when you hear michael j fox's completely wrong sounding singing voice during Johnny b good
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#
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Jul 17, 2018 05:44
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Apr 26, 2024 01:50
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- kuskus
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The ability to harmonize other people's voices with yours automatically, as if you're a host simply playing musical chords– but only when you're all sitting on toilets adjacent to one another in private stalls.
Makes awkward bathroom time with strangers all hanging out with pants/skirts around their ankles much better because you can just belt out doo-wop tunes.
"I wonder wonder whooooo...
Who wrote the book of loooooove".
Instead of awkward poop silence.
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#
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Jul 17, 2018 06:15
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- Dungeon Ecology
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It only works when you need a nickel or less to keep you from having to break a  .
unlimited nickel slots yessssssss
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#
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Jul 18, 2018 00:19
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- drilldo squirt
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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unlimited nickel slots yessssssss
Making nickels is way to powerful.
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#
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Jul 18, 2018 01:27
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- Bacon Taco
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Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN
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Getting 50% longer when aroused upon activation of powers, when starting at 3 inches
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#
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Jul 18, 2018 02:18
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- END CHEMTRAILS NOW
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You have the ability to instantly determine whether or not you exist.
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#
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Jul 18, 2018 02:41
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- Splicer
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from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
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and so dies philosophy
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#
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Jul 18, 2018 17:12
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- Fredrik1
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Gopherslayer
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The ability to remember peoples names
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#
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Jul 19, 2018 17:49
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- ulvir
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being able to feel comfortable in 30°C and more
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#
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Jul 19, 2018 20:39
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- Diqnol
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You can with pinpoint accuracy determine where you left your car keys
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#
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Jul 20, 2018 04:12
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- Gatekeeper
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He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
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the ability to stay sober, but only by attending alcoholics anonymous
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#
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Jul 20, 2018 05:29
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- Gatekeeper
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He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
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the ability to forget
all it takes is electroconvulsive treatments
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#
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Jul 20, 2018 05:30
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Your socks always stay pulled up and the top never rolls.
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#
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Jul 20, 2018 14:57
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- take the moon
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by sebmojo
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The power to use air quotes and maintain dignity.
the power to say "quote unquote" without seeming like a jerk
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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#
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Jul 21, 2018 16:56
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- krampster2
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The power to know exactly when your dog is going to poop before it does so you can put the bag under its butt and catch the poop.
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#
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Jul 22, 2018 03:39
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- The X-man cometh
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The power to sleep with anyone you want. A nice, good night's sleep for both of you, in your nearly pressed pajamas.
Now that I'm over 40, this would be fantastic. I'd love to have breakfast with a well-rested Charlize Theron, in a non-awkward way.
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#
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Jul 22, 2018 16:26
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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In one of the Dirk Gently novels, Odin trades divine powers for an eternity of crisp linen sheets and I'm not sure he chose poorly.
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#
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Jul 22, 2018 16:38
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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We call it the Boone's Farm Buzz...it's alright.
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#
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Jul 23, 2018 01:04
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- drilldo squirt
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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The power to start a long to-do list with a one-thing-at-a-time mentality that you actually maintain throughout.
This might be up there with the nickle thing.
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#
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Jul 23, 2018 05:30
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- Bacon Taco
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Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN
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If you combine all the accidentally-too-good powers ITT you'd get a super team capable of running a small business, maybe a restaurant or a pet salon, for upwards of 9 months to a year before it falls apart.
I think you are selling these superish powers short. I'd give it 12-18 months.
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#
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Jul 23, 2018 18:00
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- kuskus
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Tight sphincter control such that you can fart at 2600 Hz which allows you to make free long-distance calls, but only in the past.
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#
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Jul 23, 2018 18:09
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- Dungeon Ecology
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power where you can travel back in time but only to make long distance calls
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#
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Jul 23, 2018 18:31
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- The X-man cometh
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The power to change the flavor of any Starburst, Jolly rancher, or Skittle, but you have to do a pushup to activate the power.
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#
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Jul 24, 2018 02:38
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- take the moon
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by sebmojo
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the power to erase your entire internet identity but you have to run around naked making honking noises in public
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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#
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Jul 24, 2018 04:52
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- J.O.Y
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the ability to make money crafting memes. they must all be pepes.
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#
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Jul 24, 2018 05:30
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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the ability to make money crafting memes. they must all be pepes.
That's almost a curse from a bog witch.
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#
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Jul 24, 2018 17:00
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- TheShrike
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You mechs may have copper wiring to re-route your fear of pain, but I've got nerves of steel.
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Every handful of trail mix always contains the perfect ratio of raisin to nuts to M&M's.
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#
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Aug 9, 2018 18:25
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- Toydogs for Toygod
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ability to never get distracted and having to rewind while listening to a podcast
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#
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Aug 11, 2018 23:48
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- Tebulot
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im hip now bois
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The power to make a really old Bic pen work with just one shake
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#
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Aug 12, 2018 01:25
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Apr 26, 2024 01:50
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- Xbox Ambassador
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ASK ME ABOUT BEING THE BIGGEST CRYBABY ON THE FORUMS
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ability to never get distracted and having to rewind while listening to a podcast
this never happens when I’m listening to cumtown
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#
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Aug 12, 2018 02:52
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#
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Jul 17, 2018 05:44
