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 Lord Captain Vespasian Osgrim Thurgood-Redcliffe XIV (of the Ultramar Thurgood-Redcliffes) Ah, now that one is one of my favorites, a true feather in my hat. Not my favorite hunt or the finest part of my collection, but it's a fine tale nonetheless. Indeed, my friend, that is an ork-- and not just any ork, but a veritable warboss! Come, let's go crack open the amasec I've been saving and I'll tell you all about it. I seem to recall he called himself "Grimgutz Steelgob." Yes, that would've been... oh, a few decades ago. I'd go back and check the plaque, but really, it doesn't matter. So, as I was saying, we'd found ourselves surrounded on this miserable little desert rock. I'd hoped to hunt a squiggoth, you see, but the natives had other ideas, ho ho! So: the rummy orks had knocked down our emergency shuttle by ramming it with some preposterous flying contraption of theirs and now we were hunkered down behind a small ridge. Their primitive bullets had already cut down a few of my fellows, and it would be another five minutes before my emergency emergency shuttle arrived. My arch-militant risked a peek over the ridge and informed me that the closest orks were no farther than a hundred meters out, and that the biggest ork she'd ever seen was at the head of the pack! Well, I happened to know that size is synonymous with leadership among those beastly xenos, and so I ordered my surviving crew to give me covering fire. In hindsight, I shouldn't have bothered with covering fire, since orks only get more excited when fired upon, but hindsight is 20/20, eh wot wot? I stand up and raise my trusty long-las, and down the scope I see the greenskin leader opening his mouth to roar something or other. Well, he got as far as his name, and then I put a hot-shot through his eye. That didn't kill him, mind you; it was the third headshot that brought him down. As soon as the beast fell, the orks fell to fighting among themselves to determine who would be the next leader, and we were able to chase them off with the guns of the shuttle. It took six servitors to lift that carcass and prepare it for transport up here. You know, an interesting thing about orks is that they produce spores that grow into new members of their species, especially at the moment of their death, and ever since I brought him aboard we've had occasional feral orks in the underdecks! Ha! Well, I think it keeps things from getting too dull for the lads down there. A good ork hunt raises anyone's spirits. What else have I hunted? Oh, friend, what you really mean is "What HAVEN'T you hunted!" I bagged the feral carnifex of Jogon IX, although sadly its own overactive digestive juices ruined the carcass before I could get it into stasis. I faced the legendary mutant blood grox and lived to tell the tale. 12 feet at the shoulder it was, with acid blood and a surly disposition! I have the head of a Catachan Screamer somewhere around here. Just the head, mind you; I killed it with a minor orbital bombardment. I'm not a fool. I've hunted wall-walking chimaerae and scurrying loxatl, played cat-and-mouse with an Eldar, stalked hullgheists through the bilge of drifting ghost ships and found genestealers instead. I've... well, I've even killed something unnatural, although it left no trophy, nothing but a puff of that intoxicating pinkish cloud that surrounded it. Well, I've kept you for too long, I can tell. Please, send the rest of your Brothers my regards, my good Blood Raven. Rest assured that my ship and crew are at your command, and we will be honored to assist you in reclaiming this Horusian vessel. I look forward to accompanying you aboard-- who knows what wonderful beasts I can find within such a craft. And I wonder what you seek within: secrets, perhaps? I know fellow hunters when I see them, Brother Matthias, and I also know what it means to be a hunter who has stories he will never tell. Hunters like us should stick together. See you at the hunt. [Brother Dercius, I have removed the initial 4 hours of rambling nonsense from this recording. I have never encountered a mortal with such inexhaustible lungs, or such a high opinion of his own skills. Still, he does possess all of the trophies he claims to. I deeply dislike him, but not for his self-important rambling. I dislike him because of what I see under that exterior. Note his blithe references to proscribed knowledge regarding the forces of Chaos and xenos, in the presence of one of the Emperor's Angels of Death, no less. Note also his disturbing insight into our goals. I know a veiled threat when I hear one. I don't know what he knows or thinks he knows, but I believe we should permit him to make his demands and accompany us for now. I prefer to keep a potential threat within easy reach of my chainsword, and until we have actual proof of what he knows and where that information is stored, we cannot afford to kill him.] pre:Name: Vespasian Osgrim Thurgood-Redcliffe XIV Archetype: Infamy, Wounds: 2 3 Power Armor Customization: 5 Armor Table + History: 1d5 1 1d10 2 Dachshundofdoom fucked around with this message at 01:05 on Jul 13, 2018 |
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Jul 2, 2018 10:01
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Lord Captain's Log. Stardate: too drunk on fine amasec to remember. Tomorrow we shall venture aboard the... The Warmaster's Son, yes. Who names their bloody ship after their commander's title? Space Marines, that's who. Not a trace of imagination. Speaking of Astartes, I shall be working alongside quite a few. Here's hoping they don't steal all the interesting kills. First we have Brother Catchibald, who frankly seems a little short for a Space Marine. His armor also makes the oddest sounds. But he's a Librarian, and I suppose psykers are always strange. I once hunted a renegade feral shaman for sport; he committed a rather unusual suicide with witchery rather than let me capture him in the end. Sore losers, those psykers. I believe his final words before he turned inside out were "Oops," which is no doubt some vile defiant curse among his people. Xaiphos the Erudite, not to be confused with Xaiphos the Crudité. High Gothic humor which ignores proper pronunciation, ho! A very dour fellow, very clever and determined. I trust him implicitly! And we have Aster the Blue Wake, whose bubbly personality and joie de vivre are nearly as infectious as the Aspis Fungal Blight, which I believe wiped out one quarter of the crew. In hindsight I should've known that insect-beast I brought aboard was far too slow and stupid to be healthy, nor were those waving white tendrils around its eyes part of its natural anatomy. What was I saying? Ah, yes. That was a joke. The first part, I mean. I am legitimately shocked that that Aster fellow doesn't end every sentence by blowing his brains out. He should really cheer up! There's things to be hunted and we're the ones to hunt them! Brother-Captain Orlov, who is like all Tech-Marines. Really, you've met one, you've met them all. At least, in my experience. They're much like your basic Astartes Vulgaris, except that Astartes Cogboyus occasionally yell things about the Omnissiah in addition to the Emperor, and they carry fancier weapons by virtue of having cogitators in their brains that allow them to fill out armory requisition forms correctly. Sergeant Matias Solomon, who reminds me of Xavier the Edified or whatever his name was, insofar as I trust him with my life and I am entirely confident in him, above and beyond even his fellow marines. I am an unimpeachable judge of character and I expect great things from both of them! And last among the marines we have Sergeant Thyrakos, who is determined to make sure every one of the Emperor's foes hear him coming regardless of where in the universe they are. He is loud, his armor is loud, his gun is loud. My ears will no doubt be ringing even harder than the time I pursued that Screamer-Killer beneath the hyper-resonant glaciers of the fourth moon of Sotha. Lastly, we have the only other human of any significance on this little expedition, Fransisco de Borja. He too is a hunter, although he specializes in archaeotech rather than beasts. In that respect he is far more similar to my hosts than I am. Still, it's good to not have to put up with these sanctimonious supersoldiers alone.
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Jul 12, 2018 04:04
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