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AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
All right. Team Mint me.

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AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
The closer you are to our perfection, the higher your value, such that 'near mint condition' is a mark of high quality.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker

Ramos posted:

And I'd be in vying for the lead if it wasn't for y'all oval office wangling bridge using cheaters.

'Vying for'? Good luck with that back there.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
Time for a Challenge I trip report!

Welcome to my beautiful home town, in the heart of England, within the United Kingdom. The sun is high and bright in the cerulean sky, with cotton wool clouds here and there, unobtrusive in this thoroughly pleasant day. The high street is in convenient walking distance, so I take a stroll along to...



Yes, a genuine olde sweet shoppe in a quiet rural town. Let's head on in.



In honour of my country's attempts to find a Brexit deal that lets us control our borders whilst not violating the Good Friday agreement that gave us peace in Northern Ireland and requires a seamless transition between north and south, here is a gigantic pile of fudge.



Oho, what's that at the top?



Gin and Prosecco fudge. That doesn't sound like anything you'd find anywhere else. Still, let's pick up a couple more oddities.



Quiggins is a hell of a name for a confectioner. I wonder which of our stalwart teams they'd support?



:agesilaus:

Don't worry, there's some support for the other teams as well.



Yes, yes it is. So, here's our hoard in full:



Time for the taste test.



Just like the eponymous team, this is aggressively mediocre. Couldn't even stay on the stick, which is plastic. Chewy, lemon-flavoured marshmallow with a sugary outer layer you can see crumbing off. Next.



The thin skin of Chocolate lends it a remarkable bitterness. The marzipan is quite nice but you can barely get the rum & raisin flavour.



This is surprisingly really nice. I wouldn't have thought Prosecco and fudge would work, but it does.



This... rather less so. Gin and Tonic need not fear Gin and Fudge. Unless you really like juniper, I suppose.

If this earns a ##Joker, I would like to play it, please.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker

WereGoat posted:

What did you do for team mint again? No challenges. No jokers deployed. Coasting by.

Does that sound like a winner to you?

Or a parasite?

Team Mint is far more cohesive than your pitiful wannabes. We stand together. He'll get a challenge in in his own sweet time.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
Candied Companion Challenge!



These are my cats. This is rare archive footage of them not engaged in world war cat whilst in close proximity. As we're in the middle of a heat wave, they're currently not doing much cuddling for warmth.



The huge grey ball of fluff is called Will. We append a variety of suffixes to that, such as Willard, Wilberforce, Willy the Magic Kitty (My wife has an irrepressible streak of whimsy) and the like. He is incredibly sociable, and will mount an expedition to claim your lap should you take a seat within his demesne, whoever you may be.

The orange streak of nervous energy is called Tesla. He will run and hide for several hours if any unauthorised people cross our threshold even briefly. For those individuals who do pass muster, he will happily stand on to his heart's content, with no regard for propriety or personal space. I think they deserve some treats, don't you?



Tesla seems disdainful, shunning the treats as if I'd offered him some gummy candy, bubblegum or similar subpar comestible.



Willmington is at least paying attention, though his expression tells its own story. At least I'm able to give him them this time.

If this earns a ##Joker, it's lay the cards on the table time, and we would like to play it, please.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
As it was between the processing of the last turn, I reiterate the ##joker for this.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker

Dancer posted:

wow look at me I write purposefully ambiguous sentences so I can get all sassy and mock people when they interpret them a certain way.

in your original sentence, the "they" you mention are probably not reading your posts could be either just the person in last, or the three people trailing in the last three places

I demand to be taken off the board I refuse to participate in this charade with such a silly excuse of a mod. You probably gave me that awful card (literally the worst card I could've drawn) on purpose. Because I'm too hot and I make you insecure.

Oh, what a surprise, Chocolate is bitter and melts in the slightest heat.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
Here at team Mint we set our sights high, so very high that even failure has in it an echo of glory. We ascended the echelons once, we will go again. Perhaps one of my comrades might even earn a joker this time.

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AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
Team mint, fresh and clean to the end. Esteemed minted ones, it's been an honour.

Plus a tip of the hat to our gracious host and compère.

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