telsa: gone away is the blue bird, here to stay is the n word

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > telsa: gone away is the blue bird, here to stay is the n word

«‹›1344 »

Nfcknblvbl: Jul 15, 2002

tesla should have still put resistive heaters in these heat pump-equipped cars just in case the pump fails

edit: when the heat pump cars were new, they were running too efficiently in winter by sapping all the heat from the battery so when it's time to charge at a supercharger it's too cold to accept a fast charge

Nfcknblvbl fucked around with this message at 19:22 on Jan 13, 2022

# ? Jan 13, 2022 19:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2022 18:57

The Wisest Moron: Nov 11, 2021; Oh God, I'm so sorry, I'm trying to delete it

They should put in a little kerosene heater.

# ? Jan 13, 2022 19:49

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; My "Not Vincent Price" shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.; Smellrose

I thought Teslas kept themselves heated by catching fire.

# ? Jan 13, 2022 19:50

Jonny 290: May 5, 2005; [ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

The Wisest Moron posted:

They should put in a little kerosene heater.

meet the vw Thing heater

yes it has a gasoline line from the tank

# ? Jan 13, 2022 19:57

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; Well, actually...

they made those for planes, too, in case two kinds of hypoxia weren't enough and you wanted to go for the hat trick

# ? Jan 13, 2022 20:05

The Wisest Moron: Nov 11, 2021; Oh God, I'm so sorry, I'm trying to delete it

Jonny 290 posted:

meet the vw Thing heater

yes it has a gasoline line from the tank

Mmmm, now that's the stuff. With any luck Tesla will skimp on putting in a CO monitor. Sorry Nfcknblvbl.

# ? Jan 13, 2022 20:05

Eeyo: Aug 29, 2004

look they can just use ai and the driver viewing camera to determine when someone gets co poisoning.

# ? Jan 13, 2022 20:57

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; Well, actually...

every 5 minutes the car is programmed to ask you "do you feel dizzy?"

# ? Jan 13, 2022 21:12

Lead out in cuffs: Sep 18, 2012; "That's right. We've evolved."

"I can see that. Cool mutations."

From that article:

quote:

The EV maker did not alert the Canadian transportation department about the �known firmware concern� it revealed to a customer on December 29, as we have already told our readers. That is the reason for the investigation.

So their heat pump is (possibly) sufficient, but the cars keep failing to actually run the heat pump because the firmware is badly-tested, constantly-changing garbage?

# ? Jan 13, 2022 22:09

YOLOsubmarine: Oct 19, 2004; When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

Lead out in cuffs posted:

From that article:

So their heat pump is (possibly) sufficient, but the cars keep failing to actually run the heat pump because the firmware is badly-tested, constantly-changing garbage?

This is two years running they�ve had issues with heatpumps failing and they�ve issued multiple firmware versions that are supposed to fix the issue but haven�t, so there�s probably a mechanical issue with the design and they�re trying to paper over it with firmware to avoid eating the cost of r placing parts in all of the affected vehicles.

# ? Jan 14, 2022 00:31

Zamujasa: Oct 27, 2010; Bread Liar

code:

heat_pump_fix_ver = 13   -- @TODO automate ver bump

for i = 1, heat_pump_fix_ver do
    local status, error_msg = car.heater:enable()
    if not error_msg then break; end
    car.heater:disable()
    coroutine.yield()
end

# ? Jan 14, 2022 01:40

Xakura: Jan 10, 2019; A safety-conscious little mouse!

YOLOsubmarine posted:

This is two years running they�ve had issues with heatpumps failing and they�ve issued multiple firmware versions that are supposed to fix the issue but haven�t, so there�s probably a mechanical issue with the design and they�re trying to paper over it with firmware to avoid eating the cost of r placing parts in all of the affected vehicles.

bold of you to assume they're good at writing code

# ? Jan 14, 2022 01:51

Wild EEPROM: Jul 29, 2011; oh, my, god. Becky, look at her bitrate.

Jonny 290 posted:

meet the vw Thing heater

yes it has a gasoline line from the tank

typical vw stuff, just like how the windshield washer on a beetle uses the air from the spare tire. when you actually need the spare tire oop

# ? Jan 14, 2022 02:05

YOLOsubmarine: Oct 19, 2004; When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

Xakura posted:

bold of you to assume they're good at writing code

I�m not assuming that all, I�m just assuming they�re also bad at engineering.

# ? Jan 14, 2022 02:08

Samuel Glompers: Nov 26, 2020

Wild EEPROM posted:

typical vw stuff, just like how the windshield washer on a beetle uses the air from the spare tire. when you actually need the spare tire oop

That is delightful nonsense, oh my god that is such a jerry rigged hacked together solution and they did it at a mass produced scale I am in love

I had to look it up myself to believe it. That's loving stupid :allears:

# ? Jan 14, 2022 02:20

Nfcknblvbl: Jul 15, 2002

Samuel Glompers posted:

That is delightful nonsense, oh my god that is such a jerry rigged hacked together solution and they did it at a mass produced scale I am in love

I had to look it up myself to believe it. That's loving stupid

just keep a bicycle pump in case you need the spare nbd.

real talk, i used a bicycle pump to air up the tires on a motorcycle one time thinking that skinny wheels don't have all that much air in them. turns out i was wrong, it took forever and my arms were sore afterwards

# ? Jan 14, 2022 02:24

Nomnom Cookie: Aug 30, 2009

pumping a truck tire from 15 to 35 psi is a p fuckin good triceps workout

# ? Jan 14, 2022 02:29

Nomnom Cookie: Aug 30, 2009

is what I tell myself as I put off getting this flat fixed for the 26th straight week

# ? Jan 14, 2022 02:29

Nomnom Cookie: Aug 30, 2009

did you know that Walmart will fix a flat for like $10 when you get your oil changed

# ? Jan 14, 2022 02:30

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

there�s a guy in trois rivi�res who�ll install a gasoline heater in your bolt for like 1.5k

# ? Jan 14, 2022 02:36

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; ask your pharmacist if tarsier-ashpool is right for you

i will set fire to your car for like, 1/3rd that price

# ? Jan 14, 2022 02:37

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

Nomnom Cookie posted:

did you know that Walmart will fix a flat for like $10 when you get your oil changed

all tire places will patch for under $20, oil change or not

Nomnom Cookie posted:

is what I tell myself as I put off getting this flat fixed for the 26th straight week

chances are that rim needs to be ground down so thats like 30 bucks

Nomnom Cookie posted:

pumping a truck tire from 15 to 35 psi is a p fuckin good triceps workout

a cigarette lighter slime is $15, you should have one in your trunk already

graph fucked around with this message at 03:12 on Jan 14, 2022

# ? Jan 14, 2022 03:10

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

assuming its patchable

probably just my luck but somehow every bit of tire damage i've had, including nails through the tire, somehow manages to cause sidewall damage too.

# ? Jan 14, 2022 03:44

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; Well, actually...

Zamujasa posted:

code:

heat_pump_fix_ver = 13   -- @TODO automate ver bump

for i = 1, heat_pump_fix_ver do
    local status, error_msg = car.heater:enable()
    if not error_msg then break; end
    car.heater:disable()
    coroutine.yield()
end

the gently caress is this syntax? pascal?

# ? Jan 14, 2022 05:01

BattleMaster: Aug 14, 2000

Sagebrush posted:

the gently caress is this syntax? pascal?

looks like lua, which would actually be a sensible embedded scripting language

you just know the real thing uses webservers and node.js

# ? Jan 14, 2022 05:45

Kazinsal: Dec 13, 2011

Sagebrush posted:

the gently caress is this syntax? pascal?

Lua, based on the comments starting with --

e: and the absolute degeneracy of indexing starting by 1

# ? Jan 14, 2022 05:54

Zamujasa: Oct 27, 2010; Bread Liar

a lua joke only seemed appropriate, since it's the only thing involving musk/tesla that'll ever go to the moon

# ? Jan 14, 2022 06:02

Nitr0: Aug 17, 2005; IT'S FREE REAL ESTATE

# ? Jan 14, 2022 07:05

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; Well, actually...

i hate him so goddamn much

# ? Jan 14, 2022 07:15

Zamujasa: Oct 27, 2010; Bread Liar

i mean, he's not wrong. every piece of input he gives is error

# ? Jan 14, 2022 07:20

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Zamujasa posted:

i mean, he's not wrong. every piece of input he gives is error

as is the output from his mouth

# ? Jan 14, 2022 07:38

gschmidl: Sep 3, 2011; it's the journey
not the destination
as we know

"YOU TRIED" DIVISION

Sagebrush posted:

i hate him so goddamn much

loving

, he's on track to replace Kissinger as #1. Ideally because Kissinger dies.

# ? Jan 14, 2022 09:31

champagne posting: Apr 5, 2006; YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

Sagebrush posted:

i hate him so goddamn much

# ? Jan 14, 2022 10:29

filthy regex: Oct 1, 2010; s/ (. Y .) / 8==D~~ /g

i had to loving google that tweet to see if it was real. i thought that something that idiotic must have been a fake image. oh it's real folks. it's real.

# ? Jan 14, 2022 10:34

Kazinsal: Dec 13, 2011

Sagebrush posted:

i hate him so goddamn much

with today's pharmacology we can even medicate that out of him but he's a billionaire so he'll be a fuckin nutjob for the rest of his extremely long life

# ? Jan 14, 2022 10:40

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored; College Slice

hobbesmaster posted:

assuming its patchable

probably just my luck but somehow every bit of tire damage i've had, including nails through the tire, somehow manages to cause sidewall damage too.

yeah, good ol' wood screw right on the corner bullshit for me, too

# ? Jan 14, 2022 12:25

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003; iSheep krew represent

gschmidl posted:

Ideally because Kissinger dies.

better things aren't possible

# ? Jan 14, 2022 12:59

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; Nobody Cares

Nitr0 posted:

"Almost All Input Is Error" Claims Man Perfectly Capable Of Seeing Extant, Smoothly-Functioning Streets Used By Human-Operated Vehicles

# ? Jan 14, 2022 13:05

Chris Knight: Jun 5, 2002; And I'm only saying this because I care.

There are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.; Fun Shoe

jfc
https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1481873421390680065

distract from the fact that cybertruck's not coming out til 2023 at the earliest lmao

# ? Jan 14, 2022 15:23

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2022 18:57

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Nitr0 posted:

# ? Jan 14, 2022 15:43

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > telsa: gone away is the blue bird, here to stay is the n word

«‹›1344 »