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gschmidl
Sep 3, 2011

watch with knife hands

Backweb posted:

Musk's gonna Theranos himself with his promises. As soon as the Saudis drain Twitter for all the user data, they'll drop him as a liability and he'll get Elizabeth Holmes'd.

... I can dream.

Lonny Musk wants you to forget about Elon.

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ryanrs
Jul 12, 2011

Beeftweeter posted:

they'd need a doctor to order it for them, it's not something someone can just go and buy

so you'd need to get a brain surgeon who is a musk true believer

that seems doable

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 10, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.


Backweb posted:

Musk's gonna Theranos himself with his promises. As soon as the Saudis drain Twitter for all the user data, they'll drop him as a liability and he'll get Elizabeth Holmes'd.

... I can dream.

nobody would ever believe that musk needed to stay out of prison to see his children though

EricBauman
Nov 30, 2005

DOLF IS RECHTVAARDIG

Beeftweeter posted:

oh no doubt. i meant that they're not even eligible to be volunteers

it's not these people that he's going after, right now anyway. they're just desperate people being sold false hope for a product that (for at least most of the people in the article) doesn't and won't ever exist. i mean, i'd be really surprised if they were somehow able to get a brain implant without, you know, brain surgery. they'd need a doctor to order it for them, it's not something someone can just go and buy

he's going after people who can't speak because they can't complain afterwards

ryanrs
Jul 12, 2011

disparaging tweets are a violation of your brain chip user agreement and can result in termination of service

EricBauman
Nov 30, 2005

DOLF IS RECHTVAARDIG

ryanrs posted:

disparaging tweets are a violation of your brain chip user agreement and can result in termination of service

imagine being in the neuralink showroom and being taken through the t&c

"and then there's the non-disparagement clause. It's cause for termination"
"of the contract, right?"
"sure, yeah, the contract"

Chris Knight
Jun 5, 2002

And I'm only saying this because I care.

There are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.


Fun Shoe
Winslow Leach: "The party of the first part gives the party of the second part and his associates full power to do with him at their pleasure. To rule, to send, to fetch, or carry him or his, be it either body, soul, flesh, blood or goods." What does that mean?

Musk: That's a transportation clause.

Winslow Leach: "All articles which have been excluded shall be deemed included." What does that mean?

Musk: That's a clause to protect you, Winslow.

infernal machines
Oct 11, 2012

the future has already arrived. it's just not evenly distributed yet.

Zamujasa posted:

key word was

yeah, i dipped out when it became a nonstop parade of tweets and the usual c-spam content

infernal machines
Oct 11, 2012

the future has already arrived. it's just not evenly distributed yet.

EricBauman posted:

imagine being in the neuralink showroom and being taken through the t&c

"and then there's the non-disparagement clause. It's cause for termination"
"of the contract, right?"
"sure, yeah, the contract"

the contract, also, is terminated

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

EricBauman posted:

imagine being in the neuralink showroom and being taken through the t&c

"and then there's the non-disparagement clause. It's cause for termination"
"of the contract, right?"
"sure, yeah, the contract"

infernal machines posted:

the contract, also, is terminated

"ok, now let's talk about severability..."
- "the contract again?"
"uhh sure. that too."

Tesseraction
Apr 5, 2009

Beeftweeter posted:

it's not these people that he's going after, right now anyway. they're just desperate people being sold false hope for a product that (for at least most of the people in the article) doesn't and won't ever exist. i mean, i'd be really surprised if they were somehow able to get a brain implant without, you know, brain surgery. they'd need a doctor to order it for them, it's not something someone can just go and buy

you just reminded me that the Neuralink brain chip implant is performed by an AI-controlled arm

I know that normal human error can occur but I am not looking forward to finding out what that arm's equivalent of a fire truck is

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

Tesseraction posted:

you just reminded me that the Neuralink brain chip implant is performed by an AI-controlled arm

I know that normal human error can occur but I am not looking forward to finding out what that arm's equivalent of a fire truck is

i wonder if that's something they already have fda approval for

also whether they used it on the monkeys

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 10, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.


Beeftweeter posted:

"ok, now let's talk about severability..."
- "the contract again?"
"uhh sure. that too."

"What's an 'End User Life Agreement?'"
"You've signed a EULA before right? Same thing just, uh, click through"

4lokos basilisk
Jul 17, 2008


Powerful Two-Hander posted:

"What's an 'End User Life Agreement?'"
"You've signed a EULA before right? Same thing just, uh, click through"

knox_harrington
Feb 18, 2011

Running no point.

Beeftweeter posted:

i wonder if that's something they already have fda approval for

also whether they used it on the monkeys

they don't have FDA approval for anything, they maybe have whatever the brain implant equivalent of an IND is.

4lokos basilisk
Jul 17, 2008


knox_harrington posted:

they don't have FDA approval for anything, they maybe have whatever the brain implant equivalent of an IND is.

maybe the have FDA approval, but its Food And Drink Administration Total Landscaping

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



four doctors agree

Endless Mike
Aug 13, 2003



the FDA has neither confirmed nor denied giving approval, but has acknowledged that Neuralink says they did, which lol lmao

Xakura
Jan 10, 2019

A safety-conscious little mouse!

Endless Mike posted:

the FDA has neither confirmed nor denied giving approval, but has acknowledged that Neuralink says they did, which lol lmao

:pusheen:

refleks
Nov 21, 2006




jesus christ this is depressing...

The Atomic Man-Boy
Jul 23, 2007


Dead people donít have arthritis. Actually, now that I think about it, Neurolink can fix every illness.

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



Endless Mike posted:

the FDA has neither confirmed nor denied giving approval, but has acknowledged that Neuralink says they did, which lol lmao

that's a real weird stance for them to take since regulatory action is about as public record as it gets. so either they're still deliberating but in communication with boer brain coprocessors incorporated and the commercial side leaked or someone at the fda is in their pocket and doesn't want to jeopardize their stake or future job offer.

Chris Knight
Jun 5, 2002

And I'm only saying this because I care.

There are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.


Fun Shoe

Midjack posted:

four doctors agree
no helens though

Xakura
Jan 10, 2019

A safety-conscious little mouse!

Midjack posted:

that's a real weird stance for them to take since regulatory action is about as public record as it gets. so either they're still deliberating but in communication with boer brain coprocessors incorporated and the commercial side leaked or someone at the fda is in their pocket and doesn't want to jeopardize their stake or future job offer.

The only way to read it is they are still deliberating, imo.

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

Endless Mike posted:

the FDA has neither confirmed nor denied giving approval, but has acknowledged that Neuralink says they did, which lol lmao

https://www.reuters.com/science/elon-musks-neuralink-gets-us-fda-approval-human-clinical-study-brain-implants-2023-05-25/

quote:

The FDA acknowledged in a statement that the agency cleared Neuralink to use its brain implant and surgical robot for trials on patients but declined to provide more details.

knox_harrington
Feb 18, 2011

Running no point.

To be clear, "FDA approval" means "this drug has been tested in clinical trials and the agency agrees the data is valid and there is an acceptable benefit/risk balance". Neuralink is absolutely not at that stage, they are, maybe, at the point of being allowed to do a clinical trial (IND or possibly in this case IDE)

Tesseraction
Apr 5, 2009

knox_harrington posted:

(IND or possibly in this case IDE)

imminent death expected?

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
Important Neuron Death

Agile Vector
May 21, 2007

scrum bored



Backweb posted:

Musk's gonna Theranos himself with his promises. As soon as the Saudis drain Twitter for all the user data, they'll drop him as a liability and he'll get Elizabeth Holmes'd.

... I can dream.

he'll get pregnant twice to avoid jail time unsuccessfully?

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

nobody would ever believe that musk needed to stay out of prison to see his children though

lol

EricBauman
Nov 30, 2005

DOLF IS RECHTVAARDIG

Agile Vector posted:

he'll get pregnant twice to avoid jail time unsuccessfully?


finally a real medical innovation coming out of one of his ventures

big scary monsters
Sep 2, 2011

-~Skullwave~-

knox_harrington posted:

they don't have FDA approval for anything, they maybe have whatever the brain implant equivalent of an IND is.

judging by the monkeys it's more like the brain implant equivalent of an IED

big scary monsters fucked around with this message at 23:17 on Jun 3, 2023

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
https://twitter.com/Henrik_Palmgren/status/1664505020073779200

lmao

Jonny 290
May 5, 2005




[ASK] Me About OS/2 WARP
32 million chuds typing "xvideo" into their bar and autocompleting to a completely different place. I love it

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



got some bad news about the "xvideo" brand right now.

edit: ^^^^^^ hahahaha yep

Gnossiennes
Jan 7, 2013


Loving chairs more every day!

lmao excellent

Roosevelt
Jul 18, 2009

I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.



that is impossibly stupid, even for elon

FuturePastNow
May 19, 2014


he's really in love with the letter x

Zamujasa
Oct 27, 2010



Bread Liar

FuturePastNow posted:

he's really in love with the letter x

can't stop thinking about his ex

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

speaking of impossibly stupid, I canít believe Elonís gibberish is now a mainstream Republican talking point

https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1665086349483835392?s=20

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Roosevelt
Jul 18, 2009

I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.



Luigi Thirty posted:

speaking of impossibly stupid, I canít believe Elonís gibberish is now a mainstream Republican talking point

https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1665086349483835392?s=20

define "woke" you piece of poo poo

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