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mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003




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mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Did elfin dusk kill those kids yet or what?

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Sagebrush posted:

twitter delenda est

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Musk is a douche and a fraud, but dating someone 17 years younger than you is like scrub tier rich guy creepiness.

You don't even get a callback from the league of lechers until you cross the 20 year mark.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



grimes get in the coffin sub

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



https://twitter.com/FMusque/status/1022944343223676929

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



fart simpson posted:

idk what you mean but im the one betting that they will file for bankruptcy

Come on man, stop small timing your coworker and make 830% return on your money in the options market:

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



infernal machines posted:

there was a guy in the AI ev thread who went all hardcore "oh yeah? if tesla's so bad why don't you short them?" for like ten pages every time someone brought up the model 3 graveyards

Regular shorting is dumb because it's a crowded as hell trade, expensive, and can explode you even if you're eventually right. Buying a way out of the money put limits your losses and can pay off a lot if the stock actually goes to zero by 2020. Assuming you have like $900-$1000 to gamble on these kind of irresponsible financial decisions.

At the very least, two contracts is probably a more exciting way to lose $2500 than a model 3 deposit.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Not if you're buying options though, since the maximum loss is whatever you paid.


Edit: but also professional options market makers still have like a billion computers calculating how to keep as much of your money as possible.

mrmcd fucked around with this message at Aug 1, 2018 around 20:48

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



hobbesmaster posted:

what kind of options can you buy for tesla that approximate shorting?

Puts.

Most people lose money buying options for two reasons:

They misjudge the time box or price target, and the contract expires worthless.

By the time John Q Shitposter has figured something out, the priced in premium is already so high there's little to no profit left.

So like, a JAN 2020 85P on TSLA selling for $9 breaks even if the price hits $76 before then. However if you actually think bankruptcy is a thing before then, then the stock goes nearly zero, and that $9 gets you ~$76 of profit. 1 contract is 100 shares, so $900 yields $7600 in this scenario.

That's a ballsy bet though, because it's 18 months out, and if 2020 rolls around and TSLA is still clinging to life at all, then any price above $76 means all your $900 is gone.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Silver Alicorn posted:

eh, the book was better

Jesus how bad was the movie then?

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003




Gotta pump that stock right before the bond call.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



"he just... tweeted it."

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003




Saudis are exactly the kind of people rich and dumb enough to dump 70 billion into the Tesla trash fire.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



I hope Tesla goes private by the Saudis buying 69% of the stock at $420.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



PleasureKevin posted:

using saudi arabian blood ... is ... business in america

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



infernal machines posted:

         
      Here lies
      FARTBONER

peperony and
chease

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Imagine being a billionaire that just sits around all day stewing over the taunts of random Twitter nobodies that you self-own into a securities fraud settlement.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



pr0zac posted:

https://jalopnik.com/several-tesla-...king-1828393920

Several Tesla Gigafactory Workers Allegedly Trafficking 'Significant Quantities' of Cartel Drugs, says Ex-Employee

lmao

quote:

Hansen claims Tesla received a written notification from the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration/Storey County Sheriff’s Office Task Force in May, “alleging that several Tesla employees may be participants in a narcotics trafficking ring involving the sale of significant quantities of cocaine and possibly crystal methamphetamine at the Gigafactory on behalf of a Mexican drug cartel from Sonora Mexico.”

Madrigal Electromotive irl.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



akadajet posted:

this nyt article is really making me feel bad for the billionaire ceo of 3 big companies who doesn't have any time to raise his family and gently caress his pop musician girlfriend

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



akadajet posted:

tsla stock chart lookin good this morning

Those darn shorts!!!

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



PleasureKevin posted:

this was a finance guy i sat next to in class. he often brought up how luxurious his uncles home and cars were, always following it up with his catch phrase “money all the way” which he repeated 2 or 3 times to make sure my silent, natural Botox Quick Release expression wasn’t because I didn’t hear him. i did hear him, and I heard him every time he told me his parents were all hedge fund manager and he was setting up bus own fund too.

always busy, busy, busy. i guess he was so busy and well organized that he changed his Facebook occupation to CEO of an investment company. still, he had to repeatedly remind me that he couldn’t yet solicit investment advice until legal things were in order. i never asked once, so clearly his preemptive disclaimers worked.

with busy class-filled days, and likely pressure from his family to succeed in his classes, he made up for his exhausting class schedule by sleeping in the classes themselves.

sadly the class room environment was a distracting place to try catch some shut eye. he’d lightly droop his head for 3-4 minutes before needed to turn to me to ask “was i sleeping”. it’s a human desire to get validation from their peers, and apparently so for ability to appear sleeping in class. seemingly unsatisfied with my answer that i didn’t know, he tilted his forward head and closed his eyes again. a minute and a half later, a jolt and “was i just sleeping”? “i’m sorry, i didn’t notice,” i’d say. i hoped if i kept it up all semester he’d don pyjamas and kept in a sleeping back then pop back up to ask “oops, was i just sleeping?” “hmm? not that i noticed”

i did most of our team project, and after polite reminders for weeks, texted him at 3AM on due date asking for his part of the assignment. his words? “i’m not like you. i’m a very important business person. I have meetings, not dumb kids stuff”. he handed in the work andrew minutes later but admitted it was simply done with an automatic feature in Excel and he had no idea what any of it meant.

is beat him on every single exam and assignment, and told the professor he contributed nothing to the project at all.

anyway thanks for reading, and “money all the way”

Sounds like a nerd got bullied into doing someone else's homework.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Flirting with -9% right now.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003




"$21,589 of my life savings up in flames, and that's just so far. I'm in this for the long haul."

Set all your money in fire so senpai will notice you.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



I mean you'd used to have to spend years on a waiting list before being granted the opportunity for Elon to take 70k of your money and set it on fire. Now you can just buy TSLA anytime that idiot tweets.

And people say he doesn't innovate!

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003




my_grimes.txt

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



infernal machines posted:

p.s. the fremont factory is on fire


quote:

The fire started on a cardboard pile close to the test track, which is threatening an outside structure and sparked a grass fire, according to the Fremont Fire Department.


Lol literal garbage fire. Too on the nose really. This show needs better writers.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Lol is that "the tent"?

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003





Also a co-worker just linked the atomic thumbs thread in group chat. Net is closing in.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



PleasureKevin posted:

this rules. my shitposting in this thread is going to be used as official evidence by the SEC

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Powerful Two-Hander posted:

president beep's gonna get dissed on grimes' new track for making fun of musk's accent

Ok I have revised my opinion of this timeline from "worst" to "best".

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



atomicthumbs I hope you're happy about reigniting the amber/greenpos wars.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Lol if this thread is the straw that finally kills Tesla.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



SOMEWHERE ATOP THE GLITTERING SPIRE OF THE NYT BUILDING

*phone rings*

"Hello?"

"Sarah. We've been trying to reach you. We have a hot scoop on a huge tech story."

"I'm outta that game now. I've told you a hundred times. I've got my cushy editorial board retirement."

"This is different. The source is.. unorthodox. It needs someone familiar with the lay of the land. Someone who can talk to the locals."

"There's plenty of tech reporters in the valley."

"Not the valley, Sarah. YOSPOS."

*line goes silent*

"Now there's a name I've not heard in a long, long time. A long time."

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Something Awful's YOSPOS board — that's "Your Operating System is a Piece Of poo poo," a forum reserved for shitposting about computer-y things

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Triglav posted:

sorry looks like tsla is listed on nasdaq, well until it goes otc as tslaq

I got this joke.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



As long as we're confessing secret identities, I'm the one who taped a $2 bill to the front door of Bear Stearns 10 years ago.

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Last Chance posted:

lmao at those reddit posts from “google engineers.”

can those be real? the posts are so dumb and shallow it’s unbelievable

also gj goon those Tesla details are spicy as hell

Link?

mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



Triglav posted:

hello googlers nooglers and xooglers wubalubadubdub

Please LGTM my terrible CL thank you god bless.

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mrmcd
Feb 22, 2003



As a software engineer and YOSPOSTER in good standing I have a codependent and mutually abusive relationship with computers.

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