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mystes
May 31, 2006



Something like that happened before and Tesla even temporarily unlocked the full capacity for free during Hurricane Irma after a customer requested it:

quote:

As Hurricane Irma bears down on Florida, Tesla issued an over-the-air update to drivers in the state that unlocks the full battery capacity of its 60 and 70 kilowatt-hour Model S and X vehicles. The update provides those trying to escape the path of the storm with an additional 30 to 40 miles above the typical range of the vehicle, according to Electrek.

quote:

Tesla introduced its cheaper Model X 60D and Model S 60 / 60D vehicles last year. The vehicles are equipped with a 75 KWH battery, but they are software locked to use only 80 percent of that available power. Drivers could unlock that extra capacity with an update for an additional $3,000. Tesla has since discontinued the Model S 60/60D and Model X 60D vehicles, saying that most owners were simply opting for the higher range vehicles.
https://www.theverge.com/2017/9/10/...odel-s-x-60-60d

mystes fucked around with this message at Aug 16, 2018 around 20:15

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mystes
May 31, 2006



Also make sure sure to put aside some money to deal with the smear campaign Tesla will start against you if your car gets into an accident while in autopilot mode.

mystes
May 31, 2006



I don't suppose we could change the thread title back so people remember what it's actually supposed to be about?

mystes
May 31, 2006



I'm a bit disappointed that there are actual keyfobs so this isn't the only way to get into the cars. I liked the idea that 100% of Tesla drivers were locked out of their cars.

mystes
May 31, 2006



H.P. Hovercraft posted:

i'm not worried about elong impregnating anyone apparently he needs a lab to do it
I'm sure he'll just clone himself anyway.

mystes
May 31, 2006



Ugh should I be more annoyed at Tesla or the people who buy expensive cars and then don't even care whether they work or not?

mystes
May 31, 2006



Xealous posted:

others didn't pass because they were harness people working in cad programs and not actually programmers
Ok I'm now actually impressed that Tesla has managed to successfully ship any cars that at least work some of the time.

mystes
May 31, 2006



Has Tesla sued Xealous yet?

mystes
May 31, 2006



infernal machines posted:

bonus, you also can't open the doors from the outside if the power is out as they have those stupid recessed electric "door handles". it requires an auxiliary 12 volt supply to open the rear doors, period

so hope you like trying to crawl over the front seat or drop the seat back and escape through the trunk while your car burns
They should make it so you can only open the doors if you have cellular reception while they're at it.

mystes
May 31, 2006



Ciaphas posted:

at least some 20 years down the line when lawmaking finally happens cars will be more regulated and more expensive all because common sense isn't
20 years from now, all doors will open remotely only, for a reasonable fee payable in Doorcoin.

You will be able to upgrade to lifetime* door service.

(If you die in a burning car before the door opens your life will have ended so your estate will be billed for any additional door opening required to remove your corpse.)

Inquire with your dealer about expedited door opening service.

mystes fucked around with this message at Aug 28, 2018 around 02:02

mystes
May 31, 2006



Ah I was just thinking that must have been in some book, but I was thinking Ubik.

mystes
May 31, 2006



Considering how they've handled the autopilot crashes, I'm sure they'll find a way to blame people who die because they can't get out, too.

mystes
May 31, 2006



endlessmonotony posted:

Give his wife a listing of common problems and how to mitigate them safely.
Common problems and how to mitigate them safely:
Your husband buys a Tesla -> divorce

mystes
May 31, 2006



SENSUAL DAD KISS posted:

as a stimulant connoisseur i kinda wanna buy some nicotine gum or something and see what it's actually like
Someone on SA did this a few years ago, predictably became addicted, and couldn't stop.

I can't remember if it was in YLLS or the nootropics thread (which is always good for a laugh).

mystes
May 31, 2006



Elon Musk is going to call up Lowtax to demand that he ban all of you.

mystes
May 31, 2006



President Beep posted:

why in the hell would they not be sequential though (other than dishonesty)? just think if a reputable manufacturer needed to do a recall. “cars 100-250 all have x bad part”.
Aren't recalls usually more like "enter your vin number to see if you're affected, also if you're affected we're mailing the address the DMV has for you" anyway?

Also if they have a legitimate system such as each factory having a specific number and aren't just randomly jumping around, they still should probably be able to say "vins starting with xxxxx are affected" even if it isn't sequential.

mystes
May 31, 2006



infernal machines posted:

increment by 1 every time we remove a weld
Lol that would be the best. The missing vins would be showing exactly how bad their FPY is

mystes
May 31, 2006



Shifty Pony posted:

buuuuuuut someone posted the agreement that they have to sign when giving Tesla money and it looked like Tesla was trying to legal ninja their way around calling the deposit an actual deposit and instead treat it as payment for the costs involved in assigning a VIN or some such bullshit.
How stupid would someone have to be to agree to that?!

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mystes
May 31, 2006



movax posted:

I can’t believe musky has created something that has encouraged people to submit VINs found in the wild to a tracker in some kind of super autistic scavenger hunt
They could make a whole Tesla children's puzzle book. "Can you spot all 10 defects in this car?"

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