[Musk] he's the dog that caught the car, but the car has fsd and is running him over

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Musk] he's the dog that caught the car, but the car has fsd and is running him over

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infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

cross posting some old stuff that seems relevant in light of the model 3 mass graves

infernal machines posted:

https://twitter.com/hoonable/status/1014154080854396929

lmbol. we hit our production targets by removing all the QA steps. this is definitely not going to come back to haunt us like that ABS calibration issue no one caught until consumer reports got their hands on a car. no sireee

infernal machines posted:

tl;dr: they likely hit the arbitrary production quota by pulling a whole bunch of QA and finishing steps, and odds are those vehicles are the result

# ¿ Jul 20, 2018 18:04

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 21:25

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Captain_Maclaine posted:

bitcoin and tesla, god's perfect idiot

# ¿ Jul 20, 2018 18:17

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

ryde posted:

So in this theory, they're sticking em in a lot and doing the QA later?

That's one hypothetical option, maybe even the one they intend.

# ¿ Jul 20, 2018 18:28

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Coolness Averted posted:

so which is it? am I dumb enough to set an unrealistic goal I've had trouble hitting, or does no one want to buy my product and so I have a surplus of potentially finished goods? my brain is too smooth to imagine both could be true

or they're manufacturing cars that can't be sold because they've skipped key QA and finishing processes to hit their production targets so that the money keeps flowing in.

they don't have a surplus of "finished goods" they have a bunch of unsaleable vehicles that need dozens of hours of manual rework before they can be sold

# ¿ Jul 20, 2018 19:19

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

I've made 5 posts in this thread. None of them are whatever the gently caress you're talking about

# ¿ Jul 20, 2018 19:32

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Coolness Averted posted:

he's quoting someone and is not actually a tesla or bitcoin booster

Oh word, that's confusing 'cause he quoted me in reply

e: Now furiously scouring AI

infernal machines has issued a correction as of 19:40 on Jul 20, 2018

# ¿ Jul 20, 2018 19:38

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

BrutalistMcDonalds posted:

the Teslas have really advanced stuff

Er, like what?

I mean, the battery controllers are probably the most impressive tech in a Telsa

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 02:17

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

FCKGW posted:

it has an ipad to open your glove box

oh yeah, there's that.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 02:21

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

it's just that when people say something like "really advanced stuff" they're often thinking of the horribly mis-marketed adaptive cruise control and lane assist that runs off a webcam and has a tendency to accelerate into stationary objects

which is not so much "advanced" as Tesla is beta testing features other car manufacturers are not willing to sell to consumers, live. and at that point, things like super cruise are actually much safer and function better

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 02:24

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

FistEnergy posted:

Next Generation Grift Module

The Fast and the Furious: Palo Alto Grift

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 02:26

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

etalian posted:

Well the hour long Telsa video is pretty interesting showing how some things were pretty advanced but you mixed this with things like the over-engineering auto body.

My favorite stupid design decision is how they made the trunk and hood mechanism electric instead of mechanical. You need a separate 9V battery to open it if the main battery gets drained or has a problem.

Yes, but in what way is that "advanced" as opposed to "stupid"? They break constantly because it was a terrible design decision.

e: If you're not using that as an example, then n/m, but what is "advanced"?

infernal machines has issued a correction as of 03:04 on Jul 21, 2018

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 03:00

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

The gull wing doors on the X are power assisted rather than hydraulically balanced, so when there car catches fire, you have to scramble to pull the interior door panel out and reach in for a little manual release cable, then lift the entire weight of the door before the lithium fire consumes you.

Very advanced.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 03:03

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Very loving fast*

*In 0-60 acceleration, in a straight line. They're poo poo track cars, on account of they overheat when actually trying to perform.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 03:07

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

https://jalopnik.com/this-glorious-madman-stuffed-a-p85-tesla-drivetrain-int-1823461909

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 03:18

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

BrutalistMcDonalds posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpCrkO1x-Qo&t=880s

lmbol. their super advanced technology is a high density circuit board for the system that runs the image recognition and control for "autopilot", e.g. the same thing that everyone else running lane assist and adaptive cruise control has.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 03:37

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

dude, there's like, flash memory, and uh, fpgas, and it's like cellphone technology, man

*ps: it runs ubuntu

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 03:39

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

BrutalistMcDonalds posted:

well you might be right and hell if i'm an expert. but i was just explaining why my dad likes this stuff, even though he thinks tesla is overvalued. he knows way more about this stuff than i do and his engineer buddies ooh and ahh over it

fair enough

i just asked because when people say stuff like that they usually mean autopilot, and autopilot isn't actually very good by industry standards.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 03:41

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

BrutalistMcDonalds posted:

are there other cars out there with FPGAs in them? i don't actually know.

very likely on anything doing image recognition and sensor synthesis for lane keeping and adaptive cruise control*, yeah. you gotta have them computers to figure out what/where the lane markings and other vehicles are.

the difference is everyone else is very conservative about what they allow their systems to do in the absence of human input and tesla is all "lol yolo"

*some idiot xda forum superstar named geohot rigged one up out of a webcam and a laptop, so it doesn't take that much for baseline, the fpgas are just a faster, lower power way of doing the tasks. anyone shipping a commercial product with this feature set is going to use them

infernal machines has issued a correction as of 04:05 on Jul 21, 2018

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 03:44

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

It's like someone driving a chainsaw

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 05:05

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

The best part is, I'm pretty sure that stuff is known because people are having to source their own parts for repair/replacement, because the Tesla dealerships are basically useless.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 05:52

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Sandy Munro was gushing over the component density of the controller board.

infernal machines has issued a correction as of 08:29 on Jul 21, 2018

# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 07:26

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Raskolnikov38 posted:

i'm sure those braking tests were unimportant

they're blaming autopilot for accelerating into the lot

# ¿ Jul 23, 2018 23:57

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

is c-spam behind the paywall? if not just @ him with a link to the thread

# ¿ Jul 25, 2018 02:02

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Hostess Snack Cake posted:

my theory is that every true ai ever built in our wretched hellworld immediately commits suicide

This was a bit in the Draco Tavern series of sci-fi short stories.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2018 07:28

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Isn't Musk's compensation agreement entirely dependent on the $TSLA price hitting certain milestones?

e: Yes, yes it is

# ¿ Aug 8, 2018 02:46

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

lsd and methamphetamine, the hot new neutropic stack for 10x rockstar devs and disruptive ceos

# ¿ Aug 13, 2018 19:19

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

also, apparently the keyfob can lose sync with the car if you change the battery

loving amazing

# ¿ Aug 20, 2018 18:36

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

but also, remember, tesla can arbitrarily enable or disable any features of your vehicle, including the entire vehicle itself, remotely at will

they've locked people out of the diagnostics for having used them, and if they blacklist your vin you have a $50000 brick

# ¿ Aug 20, 2018 18:38

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Kommienzuspadt posted:

wait they an seriously brick your car just because? Wtf?

the designation they use is "salvage vehicle" but there's nothing that actually prevents them from doing it at will

# ¿ Aug 20, 2018 19:00

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

the keyfob is a little mini model of the car with capacitive sensors on the doors, hood, etc. to trigger opening the same on the actual vehicle.

how the gently caress the keyfob loses connectivity to the vehicle if you swap the battery, i can't imagine.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2018 20:19

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

bring back old gbs posted:

don't forget the supplier ~~discounts~~ refunds they asked for

# ¿ Aug 20, 2018 22:08

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

FistEnergy posted:

**Ahem**

Remember that big 5k Cars/Week push? The one Tesla worked like crazy to hit for last quarter's numbers? Double shifts, putting engineers and other departments on the manufacturing floor? The one that got Tesla a lot of temporary good publicity and popped the stock price?

https://www.businessinsider.com/tesla-hit-model-3-target-by-reworking-thousands-of-cars-2018-8/

ONLY 14% OF THEM WERE GOOD ENOUGH TO SELL

4300 of 5000 on that final week needed rework before they could be sent out for sale.

Can this stupid company just die already

somehow this has been overlooked in the AI EV thread.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2018 01:49

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

d'you think E. Lon Hubmusk is giving thanks to idiot Boer god that something else hit the fan today? because if he still has two or three brain cells left to rub together he'll take this opportunity to run for cover and/or his private Swiss bank account

ah, nah mate, didn't you know? you just sit like a stone on weed

# ¿ Aug 22, 2018 02:01

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

savage

# ¿ Aug 22, 2018 07:24

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

"Put it in backwards h"

This is always my advice when someone is having trouble starting their car.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2018 16:38

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

AI confronts the 86% rework issues with the model 3 line:

El Grillo posted:

That's certainly interesting but is a production issue, not an issue with the quality of the end products actually delivered to customers - unless I'm totally misunderstanding something?

Certainly pretty poo poo though, here's hoping things have been improving a lot in the past couple of months..

# ¿ Aug 24, 2018 02:13

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

someone tried hiding some damaged bandoleers in the recycling

# ¿ Aug 24, 2018 02:15

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

belt posted:

But.... but.... I was told I could drive cross country in a Tesla.

You can, but the country is Monaco

# ¿ Aug 24, 2018 18:52

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

...some sort of missile, that travels on a ballistic trajectory

# ¿ Aug 24, 2018 21:16

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 21:25

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

the bitcoin of weed posted:

it would kinda make sense to set up manufacturing on the moon to build big rear end long-range space ships, easier to get the material in orbit from there than from earth

Yes, but the question is why you would be doing that in the first place, since building big long range ships also makes no economic sense. There's nothing of value to us that we can't acquire cheaper and more easily here on earth. Like, there's a reason the commercial space market begins and ends at satellite manufacturing and launches, and it's not a lack of technology.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2018 00:39

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Musk] he's the dog that caught the car, but the car has fsd and is running him over

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