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D.Ork Bimboolean posted:The people who die first and fast are the lucky ones. Instead of having the CGI'd bus-stop-vehicle abomination rise out of a slot in the ground, just have the opening reveal a giant smoking pit of death beneath for your commuters to jump into. Save everyone a lot of time arguing over why and who's to blame after the inevitable catastrophic failure.
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May 24, 2019 02:21
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H.P. Hovercraft posted:they had him cameo on big bang theory people know who he is And that one bit in Iron Man 2 where Stark goes over to talk to Musk at some sort of party. It's not really notable though, because those movies are full of fictional geniuses.
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Jun 3, 2019 13:18
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Lord Stimperor posted:The UK Tesla Driver takes his car into the Netherlands. Joyful moments include: So given this system is such a half-baked shitshow, how is it allowed to operate on public roads? The other video posted earlier in the thread clearly shows the driver intentionally not being in control on a road with oncoming cyclists, as well as examples of the system clearly not working properly and being a potential hazard on the roads. Is his entire channel just him demonstrating that he's not in control of the car, and making excuses for when it doesn't stay on the road?
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Jun 7, 2019 05:44
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Yeah but that guy's clearly in the UK, and while I know Americans are crazy about personal freedoms and such, we're not nearly as politically- What's that? Boris who? Okay can someone lend me some change, I need to use the suicide machine real quick.
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Jun 7, 2019 14:19
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Shalebridge Cradle posted:People can point out the obvious flaws in any one of his projects, but then the Musk defense force just pipes in about how he has to be smart. Look at all these other complex projects he is running! Good luck being an expert on rocket science, automotive design, mass transit, geology, tunnel construction, and whatever other bullshit I am forgetting. You're forgetting about green energy. Solar City? Tesla putting an end to Big Oil as long as you don't ask what's running their superchargers? He's going to save the earth by digging infinite tunnels for us to exist in, and then covering the Earth in solar panels to power all of the automated work, construction and travel robots that will definitely not immediately kill us all by accident.
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Jun 10, 2019 03:53
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Honestly it's one of the best ways to experience that song. Not saying it's not a great song, but whoever put those musical levels together knew exactly how that song should feel to run through.
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Jul 4, 2019 05:33
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Elon Musk is dumb as gently caress but a victim of his own overpowering ego, deluding himself into thinking he knows everything. He's never seen a question that he wasn't immediately able to give a completely wrong answer for.
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Jul 23, 2019 22:53
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No, it's the guy who runs Tesla as well as some other awful grift-adjacent companies with terrible and badly executed ideas.
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Jul 23, 2019 23:08
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If you ain't outta control, you ain't in control. Alternately, move fast and break things.
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Aug 14, 2019 16:31
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Has anyone actually identified what it is that Teslas love so much about fire trucks? There is a sort of logic to the trailer thing, where the Tesla sees the space underneath and thinks it's a really cool tunnel that it really wants to drive through, or the cases where a self driving system has mistaken a white lorry for a big open patch of sky on a sunny day and tried to drive through it. So why fire trucks?
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Sep 4, 2019 17:20
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This reply to one of the above posts is probably the best one yet. https://twitter.com/Slim_tastic/status/1166788593454444545?s=19 Love the car, it wants to die
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Sep 28, 2019 14:54
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Runaway truck, superheavy load, Wrong way down a one-way road, Autopilot tried to drive me somewhere, Wheels are falling off but I don't ca-are... I'm sure I could fit a "love the car though/but" into one of those verses, but some of those lyrics are already pretty close to good. There's this whole bit: Soul Asylum posted:Bought a ticket for a runaway train
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Oct 8, 2019 17:20
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I mean the only movie I can ever remember seeing Leto in was some movie my flatmate had on. He's some kind of American soldier or something in Japan, where he gets involved with the Yakuza and eventually becomes their most badass dude. It took me a substantial amount of time to realise the guy was Jared Leto, at which point I immediately went "Ohhh, of course that's him". Even with his band I always saw him as the kid who hung around all the emo/goth/alt metal lot and never really did fit in, but just kept trying so hard to be edgy and dark, to make it his entire image and personality. Always talking up the hosed up poo poo he did... Kinda like Musk. Elon Musk is actually the Jared Leto of nerds.
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Oct 12, 2019 20:46
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How is there a story involving Musk where I don't think he's the person most full of poo poo?
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Oct 22, 2019 07:47
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Ok guys hold on, just wait a second and I'm sure the rest will load in. This vehicle is so complicated and cutting-edge that it takes a while for reality to render it correctly.
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Nov 22, 2019 05:41
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Happy Noodle Boy posted:So, to get started on this quite probably losing battle, If you're giving this debacle the benefit of the doubt, you have to be either lending Musk an infinite rope to hang himself, or you're out of your loving mind. There is a lot wrong with Musk, there is a lot wrong with Tesla, and there is a loooot wrong with this shambolic brainfart of a truck. Any faith you put in anything to do with this project is supremely misguided, and if you're going to sing the praises of Musk's vision and refer to things like the Rennaisance and the Ancient Greeks you should maybe consider the idea that you need to swim up before you turn to similar behaviours and avenues, like mining alt-coins and buying spaceship JPEGs. Firstly, when it comes to Musk, if you don't look too hard you'd be forgiven for thinking Musk knows things about stuff. He's a Silicon Valley personality, sure, the public face of Tesla and SpaceX, but he's shown some pretty major misunderstandings and has vehemently defended himself and his mistakes. His claims have been wildly unrealistic if not completely wrong, yet his ego and attitude do not let him back down or accept he was mistaken. For example arguing with literal astronomers over whether his Starlink sattelites would be reflective enough to be visible in the night sky, where he was wrong and they absolutely were. This insecure ungrounded defensiveness doesn't just extend to science though, as Mr Unsworth's lawsuit will happily inform you. In case you don't remember who that is, there were several trapped children in a diving cave in Thailand, and Musk thought he'd help out by trying to build the least functional peice of equipment possible for those tight, limited and incredibly dangerous spaces. His solution was a completely inflexible mini-sub that looked essentially like a torpedo that had almost enough room inside for a small child. Unsworth was a cave diver with some expertise, and he said Elon could stick his useless device up his own arse. Musk's response was to call him a pedo, and long story short all of his testimonies against Unsworth's lawsuit have only served to make himself look even worse. Secondly, Tesla itself isn't exactly the most well-oiled machine. I'd like to say we're ignoring Elon here but his personality and decisions are a lot of what has given Tesla as many problems as it has. Their assembly process is so inefficient and haphazard that their factory pass rate is something like sub-30%. That means well over two thirds of their production needs to be reworked immediately. This is not normal, but it's very representative of the way Tesla seem to do things. Other car manufacturers have worked for decades to make this process as effective as possible, but Tesla insist on doing things in this way. Their quality control is as terrible as their output, from misaligned panels to paint issues to visible damage to superficial parts on so many of their brand new cars. It's not even just their cars in production, the actual business side seems to be hosed from top to bottom too, besides all the poo poo they've said they are doing but don't, all the tech promises that have been empty. There are so many complaints about how they do business, how much delay there is, how long it takes not just to get through the waiting line to buy the car but actually recieve the car, and then you've got to hope you don't have any issues with it. They are their own dealerships and stockists, so when you need repairs you're in waiting hell. Cars have gone to Tesla for repairs and come back with different issues or completely inexplicable damages that Tesla will insist is not due to them. Dealerships will stock cars that no sane person would accept as a finished product, in the hope that their brand will be strong enough to win fans over despite the shortcomings. There's a reason "love the car but" is such a catchphrase. Oh and then there's the truck. This loving truck, I mean come on. Even as a potential design it has so many holes (and none in the windows which is actually a problem) that make it utterly awful. It might be a matter of taste whether you like the sharp angular visuals, but this is not the way to do that. This is not designed, this isn't a Brutalist car, it's just two seconds of effort in MSPaint. It's a poor representation of an incomplete idea, and that applies to more than just the appearance. The preliminary stuff they came out with to hype this thing, the 300k towing capacity, the 911-esque performance, none of it was ever going to be remotely close to what this ended up being, except for maybe the "woah what is that thing" bit I guess. One of the things that gets me isn't even the lying, or the appearance and other things they haven't really done well enough. It's the things they've tried to do that are completely contrary to what you want. The unbreakable windows are a really bad idea even if they work, because the windows need to be breakable in case of emergency where the doors are blocked or otherwise inaccessible. The super-tough body with no crumple zones won't deform in a crash, which means you take the brunt of the force rather than the car taking some of the hit. Not to mention that front edge is definitely designed for killing pedestrians. It's not safe, and with Tesla's "safety third" mindset and the way they've otherwise managed their cars and Autopilot systems, I don't see it getting much better if the car ever actually gets released. It doesn't even seem particularly well suited for being a truck, its only saving grace is the people interested in it really have no need for a truck and are only going to buy this thing as a big, ugly, self-destructive symbol of a lifestyle they aspire to have.
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Nov 24, 2019 21:20
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Robotnik Nudes posted:I’m permabanned poster x ae a-12 I mean, if anyone was destined to be an amalgamation of all the traits people have come to associate with this website, it would be the unfortunately-named child of these two particular freaks. Of course they would be assigned a forums account at birth.
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May 6, 2020 13:36
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YOLOsubmarine posted:Tesla has lost billions over the past decade making electric cars so maybe the trick is actually to not make the product since it’s more expensive to produce than it sells for. So, uh, Car Citizen then.
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Jun 13, 2020 22:31
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And how long do a-funny-number-hundred Musksats actually spend up in space before they decide to orbital stike a firetruck somewhere?
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Aug 31, 2020 13:08
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infernal machines posted:e: for reference, here's the value of $tsla over the course of this thread Yeah this seems legit, given Tesla have recently been very successful in wait Uhh
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Sep 8, 2020 17:22
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Admiral Ray posted:legit shocked he's saying this, what the hell infernal machines posted:he's "learned" that he can shift blame away from himself by saying "the engineering is really hard guys" whenever someone points out that he is completely full of poo poo and literally just making things up infernal machines posted:it's not his fault that he's such a visionary that his ideas cannot be built with modern science and engineering. Yeah this is some Star Citizen "we need to build the pipelines to enable us to make progress towards developing a prototype implementation of the thing" project mismanagement logic. They're taking an absolute age to get anywhere because they're attempting some monolithic feat, ideally one that has never been done before. It's not because they're slacking, it's not because they suck, even though it looks that way to amateurs and even many experts. What they're doing is such a work of genius that only they and their fans can understand what goes into it.
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Sep 24, 2020 13:10
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Sudden Loud Noise posted:My favorite thing about the firetruck is the fact that there are really interesting explanations and theories that go super deep into machine learning design, camera technologies, and other incredibly complex challenges, and each one must end with "And so the car intentionally drove in the back of the parked firetruck." My favourite explanation for self-crashing car logic is from this one: quote:the 2016 crash that killed Florida Tesla owner Joshua Brown—the first Autopilot-related fatality. Crashed into something because well, car saw nothing but white, and incorrectly surmised that the space in question was full of open air rather than being full of another vehicle. How the gently caress are these allowed on the road?
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Sep 25, 2020 11:09
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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:i wish i had someone to look at me like the us military looks at expensive, pointless and largely imaginary boondoggles. Hey, the F-35 isn't imaginary. I mean the idea that it will ever be good for anything is somewhere between optimistic and deluded, but one thing you can't deny is that it is a vehicle that exists. It sometimes even gets to its intended destination without suffering some kind of ludicrous malfunction.
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Oct 22, 2020 10:46
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We had an Undercover Boss reality show where someone would go work for their own company for a month or so and get to hear directly from their employees how poo poo the job was and what sort of problems they had, and then at the end reveal who they really were. It would end with a clip of the owner being appreciative of these people and their jobs, but I'm pretty sure that like all reality TV it was a sham and nothing really came of it in the end. Maybe they should do the one month living on minimum wage project thing and then three days before it's over say "oh it's actually three months, hope you're prepared" and then break something like their boiler or fridge that they then need to get sorted. Then a couple weeks later take a chunk of their alloted wage to pay off some bill or debt or payment plan or something. Have them working a retail or customer service job, and make them work through breaks while missing a couple members of staff. Every week give them a handful of customers who are the dumbest, most arrogant, self-entitled shits available. Just keep adding "challenges" that everyday people have to deal with and see how long it takes to really break them. No take-backs, no lifelines, no contacts to call on, no walking out, maybe that would give them a real taste of what it means to be just getting by. I mean still wouldn't make a difference, these people don't have the capacity to learn to be decent human beings, but it might at least be cathartic to watch.
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Dec 15, 2020 17:28
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That gets me, every time. Tesla self-driving tech is so advanced, it can't tell whether it's looking at a small gap, or a big one really far away. Absolute marvel of engineering.
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Mar 25, 2021 14:49
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It's amazing how much these people will dive into defending Elon & The Car by just making GBS threads out whatever idea they think they have regardless of whether or not it resembles reality. No, when firefighters spent an entire day and used 30,000 gallons of water they clearly weren't putting out the fire correctly and should have just done what Tesla says will put the fire out, which is... *looks at clipboard* ...spend an entire day pouring tens of thousands of gallons over it. Yeah if they were actually competent and trained properly, they should have known to just start off by doing that. Now that that confusion is cleared up, it's time to go ask people where they get the mistaken idea that Tesla cars which are sold with a "Full Self Drive" feature package can somehow drive themselves with no human intervention. Wait sorry did I say Full Self Drive, well actually that doesn't exist yet and in the interim we only have Autopilot, which obviously does not automatically pilot the car. Oh and also the Smart Summon feature is cool, when the car is parked it has the ability to drive itself to you without anyone in the car. This all makes sense and is definitely safe, nobody has ever died in an incident involving a Tesla vehicle except for all the times when they've been used inappropriately. Literally all of these horrific crashes are the result of careless drivers bypassing Tesla's safety systems. When the system detects that you don't have your hands on the wheel it stops driving and starts complaining that the driver isn't paying enough attention. However you can buy these awesome things that bolt onto your steering wheel that stops the car from nagging you, it's great and really makes it feel like the car drives itself. Autopilot is far safer than human drivers, but there are some problems. It's early days, this is just how it works when you're beta testing a machine learning system, there are going to be some teething issues, and in the future it'll be far safer than human drivers. In fact, Elon said that there will be a million Tesla robo-taxis in a year's time only two years ago. And when you look at how far autonomous driving tech has come since he said that, you can't help but think that man, the future is going to be so cool, my car is going to start paying for itself!
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Apr 19, 2021 01:57
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Blackhawk posted:It also helps that I ride this: I imagine it being bright pink and yellow also helps catch people's attention, if it was a matte-black stealthpod you'd probably have more errant drivers trying to merge into you. It seems kind of stupid to take to the road in a vehicle that I can only imagine survives a traffic collision like papier mache against an anvil (not that bikes are any better here) but I guess if it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid. Trabisnikof posted:we’re trying out a new road diet where you can have as many lanes as you want, just no signs or cateyes or lane markers What's the diet where you can just have all the fat and meat you want as long as none of it is carbohydrate? You know, the one that some poster on here was famously encouraged to follow until their routine diet of bacon fat and eggs got them put on statins for life.
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Apr 22, 2021 03:47
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Shifty Pony posted:one night a drunk driver in a truck with a big pipe bumper put a 2" deep gash down the side of ~40 cars, including a dozen or so customer cars that were there for maintenance. the dealership doesn't park cars there anymore. Of course, this is one of capitalism's many features, in which companies iterate, innovate and adapt to pressures. You create better, more effective, more efficient systems and practices by making good decisions that reduce your risk of causing harm, danger and destruction. So when something happens that could have dire consequences, things will change to lower the chance of such things being a risk in the future, and this eventually results in the safest practices available. This can be seen in Tesla's case by... Wait did I say it was about danger and consequences? Sorry I was confused, what I meant to say is it's all about profit and money. Yeah, that. It's losing money that drives change and improvement in capitalism. Ans this can be seen in Tesla's case by... Wait. poo poo. Uhhh...
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Apr 29, 2021 01:59
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Tubgoat posted:So they built a third one. That one burned down, fell over and then sank into the swamp. Eventually if they build enough of them, you'll be able to get to space by climbing up the wreckage.
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May 4, 2021 10:33
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HAIL eSATA-n posted:the muskjet will combust batteries as needed Mr Musk, when you said your new design for the Loop would be a train running on batteries we did not think you would be shovelling them into the firebox. It's a brilliant idea because the fire will keep going in any conditions, and it's very eco-friendly as there's no fossil fuels involved at all! Have another ten billion dollars to gently caress around with.
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May 6, 2021 15:29
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Three Olives posted:His bandana has ear straps or he is wearing an actual face mask and using the bandana to look "cool". I take off my bandana mask and I'm wearing a Joker Smile face mask underneath. Everyone on the TV show groans at my poo poo.
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May 8, 2021 13:36
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I've never been clear on how you're meant to pronounce "dogecoin" and I would probably think less of myself if I did.
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May 10, 2021 02:46
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peepeepants posted:lmaos: I read this as 'extra handles on the back of the car' and it took me a second to realise even Tesla aren't that hosed. ...I mean, probably not for lack of trying.
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May 28, 2021 01:27
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I guess you can't be stressed out if your brain is too busy being bedazzled by WOW COOL TECH I loving LOVE SCIENCE as your car self-drives in a straight line on an empty road and mostly keeps in between the lane markers. You'd think doing that anywhere near other people would make that stress more prominent, but people keep doing it for some reason. Maybe they actually like the idea that the car might just decide today's the day to go right into that one barrier it likes to swerve towards.
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Jul 12, 2021 10:46
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I've never heard of a pushchair being anything other than what a mother pushes a child around in, and never saw any distinction between wheelchairs. Maybe it's a particular UK usage, and you guys just happen to use the same word for something different.
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Jul 16, 2021 20:37
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What happens when you press the 'fart noises' button on the control panel of your new Tesla Nuclear Power Plant?
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Jul 23, 2021 12:31
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Ytlaya posted:Person gets into a wreck and has a skull indentation in their chest for the rest of their life Man they really should have spent a bit more on the writers for this reboot of The Punisher.
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Jul 28, 2021 02:16
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I wonder if Elon knows that he is scamming his investors with this constant barrage of unrealistic claims he'll never be able to deliver, or if he's fully convinced of his own brilliance and really thinks he can do these things. I don't know what's worse, being outsmarted by a self-aware Musk that has deceived you into thinking these ventures are worth backing, or being convinced of something ridiculous by an oblivious Musk who is exactly as stupid as he seems? Either way you don't come off well.Sudden Loud Noise posted:lol, Rich Rebuilds got hold of a brand new Plaid; it had an oil leak, detached body panels, and a high voltage wire that didn’t follow its channel because it was cut too short. Oh also it had a total system failure after one drag race and every single system in the car, including the doors, stopped working and it has to be returned to Tesla for repairs. But it’s a great car, don’t worry. At this point I wouldn't be surprised if one just turned into a cloud of smoke and disappeared completely.
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Aug 24, 2021 00:28
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When you hit that speed bump, I'm picturing it basically working like striking a match, except the match is a special lithium-enhanced all-weather supermatch. And also your car. This is... fine?
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Sep 17, 2021 05:43
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Does that mean we're going to continue getting newer versions of Elon Musk until they work all the bugs out?
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Oct 19, 2021 00:23
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