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Telsa board: "Okay, it was a rough weekend. A model S exploded in Shanghai, the refurbished Crew Dragon blew up during a test. We REALLY need to keep Elon from saying something stupid toda..." Musky: "You can set autopilot to crash into other cars!"
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Apr 23, 2019 02:18
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FCKGW posted:Not a single mention of Solar City, the solar roof project, Powerwall, nothing. Nothing beyond "trial installations" Company gonna die before even one production example is installed.
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Apr 25, 2019 19:44
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I'm not a car-knowing-guy like ol' musky, but maybe it wasn't a good idea to make a $35K car that looks so much like your $100k+ car, that it's hard to tell them apart? And where the basic styling hasn't been changed significantly in seven years, and is really stale by this point? ... Oh and make bumpers that don't fill with crap, and fall off. MunchE posted:In hopes of not talking about a loving TV show anymore, Apartheid Clyde posted SUPER RAD renderings of his silver silo in space: "Starship on the Moon? How did it get there?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VISOBAiYNas
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Apr 29, 2019 23:40
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Iron Crowned posted:In other words Grimes is dumb as hell GROMS
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May 1, 2019 20:40
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Holy cow, I thought the Y was going to be on sale this year. It's not even going to start production until 2020!
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May 2, 2019 21:49
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infernal machines posted:that was my thought too. "Let's see Elon wriggle out of that blatant lawbreaking! ...Well, never the less!"
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May 7, 2019 18:27
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Nothus posted:The fun part is the updated design moves the ssd from a daughter card to the mainboard so the entire thing is useless when it breaks. Incredible. So every Tesla is going to brick itself in 4ish years? But still, it's not like the cars drive into hazards on their own. Or become un-extinguishable infernos for no reason.
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May 7, 2019 21:38
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brugroffil posted:false That purple-red tint on all of the Tesla greenhouses offends me to no end. It always looks like someone with a bad dye job. Huge all-glass tops are idiotic anyway, especially on a car that at least pretends to be efficient. But I'm a sun-hating mole person, and don't understand why anyone would want more of the angry dayball.
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May 10, 2019 22:17
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Saw my first Jaguar i-Pace in person. It's not pretty, but it still looks miles better than any Tesla.
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May 13, 2019 18:14
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Shugojin posted:He just hates stalks and buttons and wants a sleek design because he's an idiot and doesn't understand that it's all set up in a way that you can operate your headlights, signals, wipers, stereo, basically anything without needing to stop looking at the road All parts of the car must be as smooth as his brains.
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May 14, 2019 00:57
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Tesla stock up today, because of course.
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May 14, 2019 16:54
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I also forgot that Ol' Musky is absolutely certain we're living in a simulation because he heard the term 'Holographic Universe' once, and watched a couple Star Trek episodes.
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May 14, 2019 23:06
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Ben Murphy posted:Riding With Death: The Elon Musk story It stopped being the 70s, that's why we're all in trouble.
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May 15, 2019 17:07
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Wooooow https://twitter.com/TiffanyPhoto1/status/1128710116708999173 kalensc posted:"My fragile frunk structure is whompin' down on yer unprotected fire truck" Elon Musk! As elusive as Robert Denby!
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May 15, 2019 19:41
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No Mods No Masters posted:Love the roof though The buried lead on that one is that someone actually got their solar roof installed! That's like, what, the fourth one?
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May 15, 2019 22:29
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Shifty Pony posted:no it was a traditional panel roof which solarcity has been installing for a while (usually with awful financing terms). LOL that owns.
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May 16, 2019 00:19
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bring back old gbs posted:lol that it cant just fail to deploy the airbags and kill them through blunt force trauma, the car has to make absolutely sure like the tesla owner were a zombie VERY important for the company, the lawyers, and Bazingas not to call it anything but 'Autopilot' though. Wouldn't want anyone thinking the murderous cruise-control was bad.
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May 16, 2019 21:09
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rofl that their autonomous AI driving system has been reduced in their legalese to a cruise control system, they absolutely know they are killing people with these things jfc
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It sounds like a Model 3 might be fun* to autocross! https://jalopnik.com/heres-a-good-perspective-on-the-tesla-model-3-as-a-fun-1834825860 *barring 99.9% chance of catastrophic battery fire.
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May 17, 2019 18:46
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It's so crazy, who could have predicted that a car company with no new product might be in toruble?!?! At least all their existing models compete with one another on price and features! Or are you going to tell me that's a bad thing too???? ... If only someone could have seen this coming!
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May 21, 2019 19:52
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Tesla can just do like all the other auto makers and slap a ton of discounts and incentives on the hood at their dealers...Victory Position posted:I think this thread has brought up the Polestar 2 in the past as well? Yup! And the Jaguar i-Pace. And the BMW i3 and i8 if you want out-there designs in cheap and expensive flavors. And if you want a bargain-basement EV, used Nissan Leaf, Fiat 500e, and the Mitsu imev? Miv? Something? Dirt cheap. Oh and the Chevy Bolt and Volt, and the Kia/Hyudai EV twins (Kona and Niro? Or Ionic? Can't remember). Just, there's lots of EV around now, in just about all flavors, and prices.
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May 21, 2019 21:07
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Wasn't there a YOSPOS goon who spilled after his Tesla NDA was up? I need to find that thread. Good times.Lambert posted:Yep, that's dayuum ugly. It's fine, but looks like someone took a BMW X4 and hit 'Chamfer' instead of 'Fillet'
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May 21, 2019 21:25
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Failson posted:Wasn't there a YOSPOS goon who spilled after his Tesla NDA was up? I need to find that thread. Good times. It was this beautiful goon: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3862643&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=62#post487296229
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May 21, 2019 21:41
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I'm just gagging for the hillbillies, tweakers, and assorted car crazies to get bricked teslas for scrap prices. Going to be some beautiful insanity.
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May 22, 2019 16:10
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Happy Noodle Boy posted:there’s already a whole scene of people buying the Tesla’s for the motor / batteries and fitting it in other cars and they’re all awesome. Teal posted:Tbqh I'd really, really love to get my hands on the motor or a couple, specifically. Ben Murphy posted:If they do end up going tits up by 2020, I am absolutely getting a Model 3 and having a LA mod shop chop off the top and make it into a glorified golf cart for me. Googles: "Ford Econoline Tesla Motor"
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May 22, 2019 18:30
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MunchE posted:High end sports cars, but even then very few have appreciated in value. Maybe the really expensive stuff like a Porsche Carrera GT gaining value after assassinating Paul Walker. Yeah. I hadn't checked used Model S prices lately, but it looks like low-end versions are already in the 20K range. That's depreciating worse than a Porsche Panamera, which, 
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May 22, 2019 19:22
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infernal machines posted:https://www.teslarati.com/tesla-tsla-will-beat-q4-2019-model-3-deliveries-leaked-elon-musk-email/ Suuuuure. With global car sales generally, and US car sales specifically, all waaaaay down? Guffaw!
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May 23, 2019 22:26
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Happy Noodle Boy posted:Everyone relax. Facts are facts So many outright lies in there. ELON MUSK: SOFTWARE IS EPIC PROFIT MARGINS
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May 24, 2019 17:52
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infernal machines posted:i think you're forgetting "safety third" Well, I mean, it can't be number 1, that's the peepee number. And number 2 is the poopooo number, so has to be three. GALACTIVATE!
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May 24, 2019 19:33
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Ben Murphy posted:Up to $20K at close today. May I have some Tesla doom money, Mr. Ben Murphy? I am not a Turkey.
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May 25, 2019 00:36
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Is it time to post the Mont Blanc tunnel disaster again? Sure: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mont_Blanc_Tunnel#Mont_Blanc_Tunnel_1999_fire Also Musk is now arguing with actual astronomers and physicists about Starlink and light pollution (they're already crapping over visibility): https://twitter.com/AstroKatie/status/1132377572170452992 Like, he doesn't understand anything at all (neither does the Bazinga he's replying to): https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1132326965581570048
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May 26, 2019 02:48
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Astronomers dunking on Musk is my new favorite thing: https://twitter.com/DrMRFrancis/status/1132372506155917312?s=19 https://twitter.com/mikamckinnon/status/1132384352971575297?s=19 (Thread good)
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May 26, 2019 18:55
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comedyblissoption posted:*zooming in on elon's face*
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May 28, 2019 19:40
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I may have missed this one: Model X that's parked, and off, tries to do a murder: https://twitter.com/orthereaboot/status/1133426159901958144
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May 28, 2019 20:17
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emgeejay posted:From their lawyers: I mean, I'm willing to believe a Model X buyer might stretch the truth about an accident, but it's pretty hard to swallow that the toddler climbed in the drivers seat, closed the door, put the car in drive, and stomped both pedals enough to run over his Mom. Aren't Tesla's covered in cameras?
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May 28, 2019 23:56
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infernal machines posted:also, maybe, not ever with the door open under any circumstances According to the Tesla lawyer, the door closed itself, by design. Shifty Pony posted:I can all but assure you that other carmakers thought through the hypothetical of "ok the driver left their wallet/purse in the car and a toddler is crawling around, what happens?" Still, love the car.
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May 29, 2019 18:15
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gschmidl posted:For a second I thought an X-Bow but I guess not. I also got excited at the thought of the car made of tubes. Musk's latest hype got an hour of positivity before number go down again.
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May 29, 2019 19:43
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MunchE posted:Those actually are shipping and rule. I was thinking more "If we trick around all safety regulations our car will be SUPER EFFICIENT AND CHEAP" which was the pitch for the vaporware Elio that was viral among the car challenged on Reddit etc. for a while Last mention, it still totally-no-really-we-mean-it-this-time going into production in October. Which would still put it ahead of the new Tesla roadster (spoiler: neither will exist).
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May 30, 2019 22:05
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baka kaba posted:A Whole New Whomp Don't you dare close your eyes!
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May 31, 2019 19:46
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zegermans posted:why didn't they add a "Itanium sales not yet discovered" bar like they do with peak oil graphs Good old Itanic, never forget, intel, never forget (forgets immediately). Boingy Zone.
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Jun 3, 2019 19:11
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Teal posted:So, I thought that the entire point of a pickup as opposed to, well, some better vehicle, is very spacious uninterrutped, easily accessible and okay-to-get-filthy-as-poo poo space for very inconveniently sized, shaped and gross cargo. Jeep keeps teasing things like that, but again, marketing doesn't think actual work trucks sell to consumers, so we don't get cool thing like this:  Just sell it already you cowards!
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Jun 3, 2019 19:36
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