[Musk] he's the dog that caught the car, but the car has fsd and is running him over

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Musk] he's the dog that caught the car, but the car has fsd and is running him over

«‹›2 »

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

ferroque posted:

don't bring euler into this

No no, see, he's developing electric cars to help free us from Big Eul.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2018 05:37

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 08:11

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Rigged Death Trap posted:

Lol when tesla makes the transition to lifestyle brand and stops making cars and then makes more money tha they ever could have making lovely EVs.

Hmm, and they also can't make something called the Model 3?

Tesla = Valve confirmed

# ¿ Jul 29, 2018 12:08

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

I've taxidermied up a dead meme for you guys.

^{_{^{_{I call it "Don't Get Into Bed With A Bear (Market)"}}}}

# ¿ Jul 29, 2018 17:24

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Hoverboard with a set of handlebars duct taped to it.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2018 07:12

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Party Boat posted:

Knocks Into Traffic Thoughtlessly

Kills Inhabitants, Thoroughly Toasty

Kaboom!: Incendiary Tesla Tech

Knowingly Injurious To Testers

# ¿ Jul 30, 2018 09:36

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Alioth posted:

lol if the batteries are constructed as sloppily as the rest of the car. cant wait for the eventual recall because peoples cars catch on fire

Isn't half the reason the production is so slow that the cells have to be soldered by hand to make the battery packs?

I'd love to see someone do a teardown of one of them, though that might be the sort of project that really minimizes one's life expectancy.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2018 18:55

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Watch all the astronauts on the first crewed SpaceX flight die because, like, the auto-rotate on the control iPad gets confused by zero G and flips orientations just as they're trying to press the "dock with space station" button and they press the "emergency de-orbit burn" button instead or something

# ¿ Jul 31, 2018 13:37

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

If there's one place even better than a car for controls with no tactile feedback that you have to look at and aim your finger perfectly it's definitely in a fuckin spaceship lmao

# ¿ Jul 31, 2018 13:39

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

- builds poo poo that malfunctions and injures people
- tries to act friendly and down to earth but then immediately loses his temper when things don't go 100% his way
- incredibly awkward stage presence
- goes to jail at the end (we hope)
- in bed with congressmen who later turn out to be Hydra agents (probably)

Yeah checks out, hell the Hammer Industries scenes were even shot in a SpaceX factory.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2018 10:44

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

bring back old gbs posted:

if u buy a Model X do i get free access to the super towing network for my dead in the woods future car?

Hm if I were designing an electric car I would include jumper cable posts and the ability to charge off 12v so in an emergency you could recharge from an internal combustion engine car.

Also the posts would be able to output high current 12vdc to jump-start other cars.

This seems like a useful feature for a world where electric cars and regular cars are probably going to be sharing the road for the next few decades, so I'm guessing it's not a feature that you find on a Tesla.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2018 17:04

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

I don't mean fully charging it, just enough so it can get to the nearest electrical outlet. The electric car equivalent of walking a couple miles to the gas station when you run out of gas.

Maybe there's a viable business in just putting a generator in the back of a pickup truck and offering emergency recharges for stranded electric cars.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2018 17:59

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Basically I have no idea how to build an electric car but let's face it that makes me just as qualified as Musky.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2018 18:01

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

"I track shipping container movements and compile Bimodal Oceanic Freight Analysis reports. The latest such BOFA showed..."

(I too would like a PM, please and thank you)

# ¿ Aug 8, 2018 08:06

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

"WATCH BUSH START A loving WAR" was not a prediction but a command.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2018 17:27

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Agronox posted:

tweeting leveraged buyouts,
doesn't really matter, to me... to me.

Tesla... Just killed a man,
Missed a lane merge up ahead,
Hit a column, now he's dead.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2018 15:59

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Lithium (-Ion) by Nirvana:

I'm so happy because today
My waitlist ends
(New VIN instead)
It's so ugly, but that's okay, 'cause Tesla's cool
It broke its mirrors
Overheating everyday for all I care
And I'm not scared
Light my car up in a blaze
'Cause Musk is god
Hey, hey, hey

# ¿ Aug 13, 2018 14:46

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Bushiz posted:

Do you think he got Azaelia and Iain M. confused when he tried to set everything up.

[Musk shouting into a cellphone with a poor connection] "I said I wanted a meeting with the Azorean banks! About offshoring my money!

# ¿ Aug 14, 2018 04:44

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

steinrokkan posted:

He measures how fast the Teslas are moving through the stations, and the effects of air drag

Grahms doen't stind so cloese te the assimbly leen, yoer weird dumbo eirs are missing with the aierflow

# ¿ Aug 17, 2018 09:49

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Bushiz posted:

Musk Zone: the guy we love is dying

Battery cells: $3000
Assembly by hand in a tent: $10000
Battery rework: $1000
Securities fraud: $69000000000
Supplier loan interest: $5000

Someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this, the guy we love is dying.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2018 15:43

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

My prize possession... A collection of signed first editions of every Heinlein novel... I paid $15,000 for these...

# ¿ Aug 17, 2018 18:01

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

yellowcar posted:

# ¿ Aug 21, 2018 17:29

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Shark Sandwich posted:

Seth rogen
joe rogan

Elon Rogaine

# ¿ Aug 28, 2018 23:06

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Agronox posted:

I, too, want an ant room in my mansion

Notch, Elon, and Ian Miles Cheong? Now that's a sitcom.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2018 18:28

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Get on highway 69 and it activates party mode like Jeff Goldblum's spaceship in Thor: Ragnarok.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2018 02:17

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Reporter: "how do you respond to people who suggest that you lack ethics?"

Müsk: "that's a ridiculous assertion, I'm a big fan and in fact I have a set of my own. I've found them very handy to have ar-"

Musk's assistant, whispering: "sir she said 'ethics' not 'ethnics'"

# ¿ Sep 3, 2018 06:21

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Ah of course so any negative news about Muskla is fake and any journalist reporting the negative news is part of a conspiracy.

He really is the Trump of the tech world.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2018 14:27

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

orcinus posted:

Okay if this kid is actually 16 I have to give him credit for coming up with the "pharmaceuticals enthusiast" euphemism; that's pretty great.

But seriously guillotine anyone who uses the "billionaires worked hard for their money so they deserve it" argument.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2018 17:56

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

orcinus posted:

Speaking of door handles...

The S handles break down frequently, because the “auto-present” motion is driven by a lovely cast rack and pinion (instead of machined, which is what i’d expect for the price of the part and the car). That keep stripping and just flat out cracking into pieces.

Lol they can't figure out the highly advanced process of making a gear that doesn't break that the rest of the world mastered literally 700 years ago when the hot tech trend was still "put big clock on top of church"

# ¿ Sep 6, 2018 06:09

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

"Magnet" makes sense for a South African who was attracted to North America.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2018 13:35

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

bawfuls posted:

it was a blunt not a spliff

I'm sure we can rewrite it, let's see:

He smoked a big blunt,
and looked like a

Any suggestions, goons? Can't think of a word to end the second line.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2018 19:28

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Panel gaps in baby's skull are normal and not a cause for concern

# ¿ Sep 23, 2018 05:21

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

exploded mummy posted:

no, he just cheated on his wife with his first cousin

Well he liked things that were relative

# ¿ Jan 6, 2019 22:00

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

power word- Jeb! posted:

me, a genius: the moon is also falling

We just can't escape talking about Neal Stephenson books eh

# ¿ Jan 7, 2019 07:35

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

I too find Elon Musk's charm offensive

# ¿ Jan 10, 2019 06:55

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Elon is socialist in the sense that he is always down for accepting those sweet sweet government contracts.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2019 05:20

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:

this isn't even his final form

Oh god, you don't mean...

2020: Musk discovers My Little Pony, becomes brony stark

# ¿ Feb 3, 2019 14:15

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

It's been a while since I've watched Breaking Bad but doesn't he like straight up murder some dudes in the very first episode

# ¿ Feb 5, 2019 18:43

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

infernal machines posted:

im actually angry at this

someone please clue this guy in on how the development of his precious internet, hubble telescope, and gravitational wave observatories was funded. does he think science just happens by magic or is paid for by altruistic billionaires or something

# ¿ Feb 20, 2019 19:21

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

RIP Grimes, got stuck in the backseat of a Model Y and couldn't escape.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2019 06:54

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 08:11

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

bold of him to repudiate tesla's business strategy in the second line there

# ¿ Jan 28, 2021 21:37

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Musk] he's the dog that caught the car, but the car has fsd and is running him over

«‹›2 »