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What did the Ghost of Roddy Piper tell YOU?
This poll is closed.
What a Scotsman wears under his kilt 7 8.05%
Where to get bubblegum 6 6.90%
To put on the loving sunglasses 37 42.53%
Incoherent drunken rambling. Beautiful incoherent drunken rambling 37 42.53%
Total: 87 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?




____________________________

Raw Results:
  • A video recap of Bobby Lashley literally doing nothing wrong and infuriating Roman Reigns aired.
  • Lashley met with Reigns (loudly booed) backstage, and dared him to call him out to his face. Roman headed to the ring to make the call-out.
  • The two brawled despite the efforts of Kurt Angle and Baron Corbin to stop them. The locker-room (including Finn Balor) came out to try and break them up. Balor got in a shot on Corbin in the middle of this. More of the locker came out and Roman did the Undertaker dive to the outside to get at Bobby, and they fought some more.
  • Backstage, Alexa Bliss and Mickie James said this would pale in comparison to what they did to Nia and Nattie.
  • Nia and Nattie defeated Alexa and Mickie.
  • Alexa attacked Nia with a kendo stick, but Nia took it off her and Alexa ran away. Backstage, Nia was interviewed and said Alexa can't break her but she will break Alexa.
  • Kevin Owens (in a Sami Zayn hoodie) showed up with a doctor's note saying he didn't need to compete after the Port-A-Potty incident last week. He said he was gonna hang out with Kurt all night.
  • Mojo Rawley defeated No Way Jose. Again.
  • Another clip of Sasha and Bayley's therapy aired. This time a female therapist who uses Dr. Shelby's office took Bayley through her anger that Sasha only ever looks out for herself.
  • Jinder Mahal offered Seth inner peace over wanting to burn things down. Seth asked for a demonstration, then casually walked away when Jinder and Sunil closed their eyes to meditate.
  • Seth came to the ring and said he had lots of nicknames but the only one that mattered right now was that he was the FORMER Intercontinental Champion. He put over Ziggler's talents but said he would beat him, and Ziggler came out and offered kudos to Seth too but insisted he could win their upcoming Iron Man match 100-0. Seth mocked Drew and insinuated he has sex with sheep, so Drew challenged him to a fight.
  • Curtis Axel (dressed as Matt Hardy) got spooked by Bray Wyatt until he realized it was just Bo. They came to the ring and the Deleters of Worlds appeared on the Titantron and declared "We're Here."
  • Bo Dallas defeated Matt Hardy after distractions by Axel (and Bray beating up Axel) allowed Bo to basically pin Matt clean. Matt and Bray beat them up afterwards.
  • Ember Moon defeated Liv Morgan.
  • Finn Balor and Bobby Roode did an interview with Renee Young explaining they were going to beat Corbin and Elias tonight.
  • Kurt called Dolph and Drew to his office and told Drew that if he lost tonight, he'd be banned from ringside at the Extreme Rules Iron Man match. Owens sat in a chair talking poo poo and I saw a boom mic creep into frame.
  • Elias and Corbin did a concert, with Corbin singing a horrible rendition of Itsy Bitsy Spider with Balor's name swapped in.
  • Corbin and Elias defeated Finn Balor and Bobby Roode at the end of a long match, with Corbin managing to get the pin on Roode. Roode had been set to hit the Glorious DDT on Corbin but was sidelined by hitting Elias with a Spinebuster, allowing Corbin to get the drop on him.
  • Strowman came to Angle's office, freaking out Owens, and Angle revealed that he'd decided to put them in a steel cage match at Extreme Rules.
  • A WWE 2k19 ad played featuring Ronda Rousey remembering advice (provided via voiceover) once given to her by Rowdy Roddy Piper.
  • Renee interviewed Roman Reigns backstage and asked if it was sensible to provoke Lashley so close to Extreme Rules. Roman said he didn't respect Lashley till he saw the fire in his eyes tonight, but he's going to beat "Bob" at Extreme Rules and move on to bigger things.
  • In what is a surprise to nobody, Seth Rollins and Drew McIntyre had a really good match AND DREW WON!
____________________________

Smackdown Results:
  • MizTV opened the show, with Miz promoting his new reality show but also trying to stir poo poo up with Daniel Bryan. Team Hell No were his guests, with Kane acting as peacemaker until Miz pissed him off too and he decided to kill him. The Bludgeon Brothers showed up to attack Team Hell No, but Sanity jumped Bryan and Kane before they had the chance. New Day ran to the rescue but the Bludgeon Brothers and Sanity teamed up to destroy them before facing off with each other.
  • It was announced that tonight's Main Event will be Team Hell No and The New Day vs The Bludgeon Brothers and Sanity in a 10 man tag.
  • AJ Styles defeated Shinsuke Nakamura by DQ in a non-title match, after Aiden English's attempt to jump AJ Styles at ringside saw Nakamura accidentally take him out. Rusev jumped in as well which caused the DQ, and then he and Nakamura tried to team up take out AJ. Jeff Hardy ran down to make the save, and Paige immediately came out to announce they would be fighting in a tag team match (Playa)
  • Rusev and Nakamura defeated AJ and Jeff, after Nakamura knocked Jeff Hardy off the top rope before he could hit a Swanton Bomb on Rusev. Rusev then hit the Machka Kick to get the pin.
  • Carmella told Ellsworth backstage to defeat Asuka tonight. He gave her a wink and she warned him never to do that again.
  • Asuka defeated Ellsworth in a Lumberjack match, with the women's roster largely preventing Ellsworth from escaping until they began brawling with each other. Carmella gave Ellsworth a spray bottle but Asuka knocked him into Carmella, then beat him with the Asuka Lock. After the match, Asuka confronted Carmella but Ellsworth sprayed her in the face with the bottle.
  • Kane and Bryan were arguing over the best tactics to use in their match, and BIG E calmed them down and demanded they work as a team. Kane quoted NSYNC (who he referred to during MizTV).
  • Paige told Ellsworth and Carmella that at the Women's Title match at Extreme Rules, Ellsworth will be locked in a shark cage suspended above the ring.
  • Andrade "Cien" Almas finally had his match against Sin Cara, and defeated him.
  • Daniel Bryan pinned Eric Young to win the 10 Man Tag, in a fun match.
  • Postmatch, Kane lead the YES! chants up the ramp but then Bryan took over to try and pull off Kane's pyro explosion. He failed several times but continued to insist he could do it... and then he did it! Even Kane seemed amazed but Bryan was thrilled.

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at Jul 11, 2018 around 02:00

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Astro7x
Aug 4, 2004
Thinks It's All Real

So I guess we are getting a lumberjack match at Extreme Rules?

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon


Nap Ghost

AJ and Shinsuke again? Does AJ have any testicles left?

Justin_Brett
Oct 23, 2012

GAMERDOME put down LOSER

I liked Seth asking what Drew gets out of helping Ziggler cheat and him having no logical answer.

VJeff
Jun 2, 2011

#HEKNOWS
#SCOOPS
#IGNOREMYPOSTS


I feel like Corbin's being prepped for something big. Probably a feud with Roman or Strowman post-SummerSlam.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


For the next couple of months at least my schedule is extra packed and I'm probably not gonna be able to catch Raw live/do the weekly discussion thread. If there's anybody who is able to cover it in the interim I'd appreciate it, happy to to send them the graphics template but feel free to create your own. Main thing is that it covers at least a basic breakdown of what happened on the major shows of the week (Raw, Smackdown and any PPVs).

If nobody is able to do it, I'll just shift the new discussion thread to Sundays.

Astro7x posted:

So I guess we are getting a lumberjack match at Extreme Rules?

There's a lumberjack match on Smackdown tomorrow I think between Asuka/Ellsworth?

Strawberry Panda
Nov 4, 2007

Breakfast Defecting, Slow Dick Touching, Root Beer Barreling SwagVP


I'm glad Drew got a win.

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values


Another few months of Brock's amazing reign and WWE booking and we can just have a catch-all gameday thread for RAW/SD since the threads barely crawl to 10/5 pages these days, almost like IMPACT.

This company is worth billions now. Doesn't matter if no one even watches. Regardless, Seth is great and has been carrying RAW on his back for months.

Tato fucked around with this message at Jul 10, 2018 around 03:59

Jiro
Jan 12, 2004



Tato posted:

Another few months of Brock's amazing reign and WWE booking and we can just have a catch-all gameday thread for RAW/SD since the threads barely crawl to 10/5 pages these days, almost like IMPACT.

This company is worth billions now. Doesn't matter if no one even watches. Regardless, Seth is great and has been carrying RAW on his back for months.

Everyone is on vacation/better things to do summer always gets like this.

I hope creative was able to fashion Shinsuke some testicles for his next match after the dog attack/AJ punting them into outer space.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold



man RAW looks boring as gently caress

cavallingus
Apr 23, 2010

I'm just here so I won't get fined.

Raskolnikov38 posted:

man RAW looks boring as gently caress
I only caught the main (which owned)

Son of Man
Jan 29, 2003
I am so GAY that I like the song "Africa" by Toto

I have to say I've been pretty tuned out lately because of the bad booking

I'm glad I caught the last hour of raw though, that last match was good

bartok
May 10, 2006

hey!
hey!
it's me kane!
hello!


I wasn't really paying attention until the main event which was fun. I guess Drew won so Seth can bring someone out in his corner to even the odds. I hope it's Ambrose but I'll settle for Jason Jordan. Knowing WWE it will probably be no one or The Big Dog pulling double duty.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009



For survivor series Roman should lead a team where every member has dog somewhere in their name. Big dog, road dog, so on and so forth wwe please send my check immediately

Hedgehog Pie
May 19, 2012

Total fuckin' silence.

Jerusalem posted:

Seth mocked Drew and insinuated he has sex with sheep, so Drew challenged him to a fight.

Er, wrong British stereotype WWE!

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

you're a flower. you're also a rainbow and a river. you are the manifestation of all perfection and i want to i don't fucking know, but you are fucking perfect


Hedgehog Pie posted:

Er, wrong British stereotype WWE!

He's Scottish

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003



oldpainless posted:

For survivor series Roman should lead a team where every member has dog somewhere in their name. Big dog, road dog, so on and so forth wwe please send my check immediately

THE HOT DOG

Waffleopolis
Apr 24, 2005

Now....face the fury of the Phoenix Force!


Junkyard Dog's exhumed corpse

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

IcePhoenix posted:

He's Scottish

I thought the Welsh are the sheep fuckers

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009



Only if their sisters are faster than the sheep

Seams
Feb 3, 2005


the sheep "herders"

Astro7x
Aug 4, 2004
Thinks It's All Real

How the gently caress do we get a second week of Bayley/Sasha counseling sketches?

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Jeremy Corbyn has been made the subject of an official complaint to the Labour party over his suggestion in 2013 that some British Zionists do not understand 'English irony'.

Are you offended?

Why not put in a complaint?




Raw was really dull up until the main event which was unsurprisingly great.

Is it just me or did they say they'd return to see how Sasha/Bayley's counselling turned out after the second we saw them and then they never showed up on screen again?

VJeff
Jun 2, 2011

#HEKNOWS
#SCOOPS
#IGNOREMYPOSTS


Hey guys.

Remember when Roman
1) Got suplexed right on his head
2) Got tossed into a table face first
3) Took an F5 through a table
4) Got busted open hardway by a gorilla man's elbows

And still didn't win the loving belt?

I was just re-reading the GDT and it's kinda surreal that that actually happened.

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

It's me, It's me, It's DDP!!


this show looks dreadful

Manic_Misanthrope
Jul 1, 2010

Stromgarde pincushion factory, est. whenever a Troll decides to get near.

Benne posted:

I thought the Welsh are the sheep fuckers

Hence why Drew was pissed off.

Kvantum
Feb 5, 2006
Skee-entist

Benne posted:

I thought the Welsh are the sheep fuckers

No, the joke is "why do Scottsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away." Not Welshmen.

Veryslightlymad
Jun 3, 2007

Somehow, even more irritating than I look.

Those jokes are over a hundred years old and out of date.

Everyone knows its the drat New Zealanders that are the sheep-fuckers.

CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

There are lost episodes of course. Stories that were commissioned but never made. Or made but misfiled, post broadcast. Sheer incompetence, of course.

As someone with Irish ancestry I find these jokes...

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004



Fun Shoe

Astro7x posted:

How the gently caress do we get a second week of Bayley/Sasha counseling sketches?

Did you really think that the WWE would stop doing a thing in TYOL 2018 just because everybody hated it?

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010

Your voice may have changed but your breath is still the same.

My goodness, Hot Stuff!


Look it's very simple. The Irish are Alcoholics, the Welsh gently caress sheep, the Scottish are a virtuous people who get accused of being alcoholic sheep shaggers.

And the English are nonces.

Evil Canadian
Sep 10, 2000

No one man should have all that Psycho-Power.



Astro7x posted:

How the gently caress do we get a second week of Bayley/Sasha counseling sketches?

But like, we sorta didn't? It looks like they filmed a lot more then just cut everything mad short.

Raw was odd and I don't know why Braun is bullying Kevin owens he very literally has done nothing wrong. Main event owned though.

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004



Fun Shoe

Braun need to Be A Star

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


Braun needs to put a third of the roster in a cement truck mixing drum and then drive it into the ocean.

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

I still miss my ex.



Ill do the thread

CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

There are lost episodes of course. Stories that were commissioned but never made. Or made but misfiled, post broadcast. Sheer incompetence, of course.

Enzo has new merchandise...

I don't even know what to think.

Blaise330
Aug 13, 2007



I hope Braun wins by escaping the cage. And no, not by ripping off one of the walls.

Didnít Braun semi retire big show in a cage match? Time for heel big show to return for revenge and go face before summerslam

Blaise330 fucked around with this message at Jul 10, 2018 around 11:15

cavallingus
Apr 23, 2010

I'm just here so I won't get fined.

Enzo is garbage

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

I still miss my ex.



consensual piece of poo poo? what does that even means?

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shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

tfw Dragon Lee breaks the Hiromu before you get another turn

ok so if everyone around you is not an Enzo amore fan (low probability) the shorts with consensual written on the dick and a pile of poo poo drawn on the rear end are gonna raise some eyebrows

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