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Phy
Jun 27, 2008

ZWAP ZWAP ZWAP


We have no idea who's inside.

https://www.livescience.com/63027-m...us-mystery.html



quote:

A massive black granite sarcophagus and a sculpture of a man who may be buried inside have been discovered in a tomb in Alexandria, Egypt.

The granite sarcophagus looks foreboding: It's nearly 9 feet long, 5 feet wide and 6 feet tall (2.7 by 1.5 by 1.8 meters). And, it may be the largest sarcophagus ever discovered in Alexandria, said Mostafa Waziri, general secretary of Egypt's Supreme Council of Antiquities, in a statement released by Egypt's antiquities ministry.

A thick layer of mortar covers much of the sarcophagus, suggesting that it has not been opened since it was buried, Waziri said in the statement. As such, the person buried in the sarcophagus, along with any clothing or jewelry they wore and any artifacts they were buried with, may still be intact, waiting to be discovered.

Also there is a featureless alabaster head



Personally I think we should open the giant black Egyptian sarcophagus, and maybe also mock the featureless alabaster head.

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EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!

Obviously it's aliens

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?


werent humans supposed to be giants in the antediluvian era

Mnoba
Jun 24, 2010
Probation
Can't post for 11 days!


kurt russell?

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006



Mumm-Ra?

Jawdins
Sep 9, 2001



Cursed image

Adjectivist Philosophy
Oct 6, 2003

When you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.


*interplanetary wailing intensifies*

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.


is the remnants of some x men viral marketing or something

Phy
Jun 27, 2008

ZWAP ZWAP ZWAP


I'm actually glad it's granite and not basalt

Nothing good has ever come out of a giant black basalt sarcophagus. The record is mum on granite.

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"


Can't wait to be killed by whatever eldritch horrors are unleashed! A+ would open again

Gobblecoque
Sep 6, 2011


It's me. I'm in the sarcophagus. Help.

Teikanmi
Dec 16, 2006

.


hopefully its this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdpTGOepEvU#t=17s

Mongolian Queef
May 6, 2004
<img src="https://forumimages.somethingawful.com/images/newbie.gif" border=0>

Pillbug

That guy must be built like a brick shithouse.

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.


at least we know who isnt in the sarcophagus, it's not nearly large enough to hold op's mom

Beefeater
May 17, 2003

I'm hungry.


Hair Elf

Make sure Brendan Fraser is on hand when they crack that sucker open.

Indy
Mar 29, 2005

Hey guys, what's up?

Phy posted:

A thick layer of mortar covers much of the sarcophagus, suggesting that it has not been opened since it was buried,

Maybe someone wanted to make sure that whatever is inside couldn't get out

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009


If something ancient and deathless rises from this tomb and declares itself the Pharaoh of The World, I vote we give it a chance. We really can't just assume it would be worse than what we've got going now.

damn horror queefs
Oct 14, 2005

say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator

If videogames have taught me nothing else, it's that 1 of 3 things are in that coffin:

1. Ancient evil that triggers the apocalypse
2. High level loot
3. A bomb

I am good with all three outcomes tbqh

Over There
Jun 28, 2013



Can't wait for them to take 6 years to pry it open.

Nerses IV
May 4, 2007
ASK ME ABOUT HITLER'S COURAGE AND HOW I FEEL ABOUT MUSLIMS

Great I can't wait to watch Trump have to nuke the great, shambling revenant of a forgotten king

Weird way to win a bet, but hey

Phy
Jun 27, 2008

ZWAP ZWAP ZWAP


Blurry Gray Thing posted:

If something ancient and deathless rises from this tomb and declares itself the Pharaoh of The World, I vote we give it a chance. We really can't just assume it would be worse than what we've got going now.

A vote for Pharaoh of the World is a vote for stability and good governance

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.


Phy posted:

A vote for Pharaoh of the World is a vote for stability and good governance

5000 years of running the illuminati from my void black granite tomb can't be wrong! the economy is safe in my cold, undead hands.

myDad
Jan 20, 2010

ce n'est pas ma mère

College Slice

it's a time capsule full of dated memes

Collapsing Farts
Jun 29, 2018
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!


It is an egyptian goon and whatever passes for his anime collection back in the day

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009


Nerses IV posted:

Great I can't wait to watch Trump have to nuke the great, shambling revenant of a forgotten king

Weird way to win a bet, but hey

Nukes were given to mankind by Nyarlathotep as part of his grand plan, so he's probably immune to them.

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges


whatever's inside, I hope it kills us all

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011

We had it all wrong. He's not a frog killer, he's a killer frog.

drat horror queefs posted:

If videogames have taught me nothing else, it's that 1 of 3 things are in that coffin:

1. Ancient evil that triggers the apocalypse
2. High level loot
3. A bomb

I am good with all three outcomes tbqh

See you get everyone all excited and then when it's just some guy who's been dead for 4000 years everyone is disappointed. You need to temper your expectations.

EdwardSwifferhands
Apr 27, 2008

I will probably lick whatever you put in front of me.

Stay safe sarcophagus ghost.

Autistic Edgy Guy
Jan 21, 2017

screaming at bare ass

myDad posted:

it's a time capsule full of dated memes

Pepe-amun, god of lolz

Phy
Jun 27, 2008

ZWAP ZWAP ZWAP


William Henry Hairytaint posted:

See you get everyone all excited and then when it's just some guy who's been dead for 4000 years everyone is disappointed. You need to temper your expectations.

No game designer would ever put a massive black granite sarcophagus into a level, next to a featureless alabaster head no less, and have it just be some old dead jamoke inside

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009


William Henry Hairytaint posted:

See you get everyone all excited and then when it's just some guy who's been dead for 4000 years everyone is disappointed. You need to temper your expectations.

It's probably just a mummy.

But it might be a really goth mummy to go with the all-black aesthetic, and that'll be good too.

Zoe
Jan 19, 2007

Save our dead gay forum you ungrateful nobs.

Hair Elf

It's going to be one of those giants from the Bible, here to finally own the libs.

Creed Reunion Tour
Jul 3, 2007


Grimey Drawer

Will its opening be streamed in glorious 4k HD?? Otherwise they may as well just bury it again.

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011

We had it all wrong. He's not a frog killer, he's a killer frog.

It's similar to when NASA calls a press conference and everyone is like THIS IS IT -- ALIENS! and then NASA just says "Hey we discovered that <astronomical body most people have never heard of> may have had water at some point in it's 6.8 billion years floating around <star most people have never heard of>"

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010



Salad Prong

posting from inside the massive black sarcophagus

fishing with the fam
Feb 29, 2008

Durr


As long as Geraldo is there to televise the opening I'll be happy.

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?


Zoe posted:

It's going to be one of those giants from the Bible, here to finally own the libs.

dont steal my answers or im telling the teacher

Nerses IV
May 4, 2007
ASK ME ABOUT HITLER'S COURAGE AND HOW I FEEL ABOUT MUSLIMS

Seriously though that's not a featureless alabaster head, it's a loving warning

LordArgh
Mar 17, 2009



Nap Ghost

the goa' uld inside might still be alive if the sarcophagus is still powered

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Pawn 17
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





Grimey Drawer

The Strain is a documentary sent from the very near future.

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