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Smiling Mandrill
Jan 19, 2015



We all know that European "football" is a broken game. At its highest level it is grown men running wind sprints while kicking a ball. This game while lovely enough on its own is of course Interspersed with about 20 mins of those same men rolling on the ground milking "injuries" worse than any two year old. Mercifully if you can sit through all that they end the tedious 0-0 tie with penalty kicks to decide a winner.

That being said, however much I may hate the sport at least the world cup always gave me one good reason to tune in. That reason, smoking hot babes. Thankfully FIFA has decided to save us from the scourge of sexy exotic women flooding our TV screens every four years. As we speak they are making plans to restrict the amount of air time given to attractive female fans in the crowd. All I can say is thank you FIFA diversity chief Federico Addiechi. Future generations will look back on this bold move as the first step in killing this god awful sport once and for all.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/fi...ocid=spartandhp

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

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Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Everything I post is dumb and wrong


why does FIFA have a "diversity chief"? he is really loving up his job, all of the players are men

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004



Fan of Britches

Soccer is insanely bad so they've already achieved their goal op

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges


this year I've heard more Americans talk about soccer than any other sport because, hate to break it to you, but most sports are terrible

I'd say the list went soccer, basketball, baseball, hockey, and a far distant football

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Everything I post is dumb and wrong


Verisimilidude posted:

this year I've heard more Americans talk about soccer than any other sport because, hate to break it to you, but most sports are terrible

I'd say the list went soccer, basketball, baseball, hockey, and a far distant football

football and soccer are the same game

Vaginal Vagrant
Jan 12, 2007
I like rocks, I like sticks.

I like rugby and gay chicken, they're the national sports round here.

my bat mitzvah ROCKED
Mar 13, 2002

MY AV IS VERY COOL OP, NOT GETTING ANOTHER

Rutibex posted:

football and soccer are the same game

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014



I really do loving hate how the whole injury milking thing has just become so completely accepted as part of the game. I mean it’s not like they teach kids to do that when they’re first learning how to play soccer (at least I didn’t learn that, maybe it’s different now in our current Hellworld). It’s really just something the chucklefucks making millions of dollars decided to start doing, and the fan base was like “Eh, okay.”

fridge corn
Apr 2, 2003



football is good and this world cup has been awesome

CharlestonJew
Jul 7, 2011

Your next post will be "im gay"


Illegal Hen

Here's an idea: The Lingerie Bowl, but for soccer

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008

GREAT RACK


Verisimilidude posted:

this year I've heard more Americans talk about soccer than any other sport because, hate to break it to you, but most sports are terrible

I'd say the list went soccer, basketball, baseball, hockey, and a far distant football

Wtf baseball is boring as gently caress how can anyone rate it above hockey.

Fucked-Up Little Dog
Aug 26, 2008

Posting live from the nightmare future of Web 3.0

Scratchmo

They should life ban anyone that takes a dive

ass cobra
May 28, 2004



Soiled Meat

the most boring sport is americans complaining about soccer

Daikatana Ritsu
Aug 1, 2008


The fake injury poo poo is bad but the clock ticks UP, which is unforgivable.

Tinfoil Papercut
Jul 27, 2016

Nod sympathizer


Along the same lines, baseball is becoming unbearable. It's a direct result of the shift in the game philosophy to smash as many home runs as possible.

Baseball games have become a monotonous slog of occasional home runs, a ton of strike outs, and nothing else. The action which made baseball fun to watch in its heyday (bunting, stealing bases) is gone.

Fucked-Up Little Dog
Aug 26, 2008

Posting live from the nightmare future of Web 3.0

Scratchmo

Also the Sweden England game was amazing because all the Brits looked like muddy goblins made of lumpy turnips gurning and moaning while the Swedish crowd were all healthy, beautiful happy people

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015

FRAGILE
WHITE
BABY


Did you know that hockey has a 2 minute penalty for “diving/embellishment”? Soccer should have the same thing.

Suntoucher
Jul 16, 2017


wow thanks for the hot take, dipshit american retard, who lives in a country where the most popular sport's gamecasts show literally less than 10% of actual gameplay and 55%+ of players standing around or commercials. i really appreciate your opinion on a sport where your massive and insanely rich country can't even beat loving Trinidad and Tobago on a regular basis. i am glad for this post and your continued existence in this universe, op

bloom
Feb 25, 2017

YOSPOS


Piggy Smalls posted:

Did you know that hockey has a 2 minute penalty for “diving/embellishment”? Soccer should have the same thing.



Soccer is a fun game to play but the constant diving makes pro games unwatchable.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Everything I post is dumb and wrong


check out this goat it is good enough to play pro soccer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvzvxJPwHgc

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017

-You know you wanna-


All spectator sports are bad, and every professional sports organization exists soley to configure the original game to maximize commercial time slots.

That's not including the pregame, postgame, sports radio and fantasy football and lovely videogames and misc branding and all the other things they do to squeeze more money out of bloated manbabies who remember that one time when they were 8 years old and their inattentive father came to a single little league game and ended up fingering my friend Jimmy's mom in her Chevy Cavalier.

gently caress YOU DAD! ARE YOU PROUD OF ME NOW?!?!

mojo1701a
Oct 8, 2008

Oh, yeah. Loud and clear. Emphasis on LOUD!
~ David Lee Roth

Piggy Smalls posted:

Did you know that hockey has a 2 minute penalty for “diving/embellishment”? Soccer should have the same thing.

No! Then the game would never end.

Smiling Mandrill
Jan 19, 2015



Suntoucher posted:

wow thanks for the hot take, dipshit american retard, who lives in a country where the most popular sport's gamecasts show literally less than 10% of actual gameplay and 55%+ of players standing around or commercials. i really appreciate your opinion on a sport where your massive and insanely rich country can't even beat loving Trinidad and Tobago on a regular basis. i am glad for this post and your continued existence in this universe, op

American football literally has women on the payroll to look good for the camera.Checkmate. Also don't kid yourself into thinking your country would have a chance if we gave one good god drat about soccer. You are bragging about being able to beat guys who are literally the lowest tier of pro athlete we produce. Soccer is the last option for guys who couldn't make our D3 college bowling rosters.

ass cobra
May 28, 2004



Soiled Meat

highest tier american "athlete":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfXiVtuXjGU

Saint Drogo
Dec 26, 2011



a peck of pickled peckers posted:

I really do loving hate how the whole injury milking thing has just become so completely accepted as part of the game. I mean it’s not like they teach kids to do that when they’re first learning how to play soccer (at least I didn’t learn that, maybe it’s different now in our current Hellworld).
in england kids see it on tv and learn to do it from about 5, so even school PE matches are full of that poo poo.

Sekenr
Dec 12, 2013



This world cup is amazing because 1 guy was actually punished somewhat for faking an injury (yellow card). Yesterday's game (also amazing) was great because ref chose a different method of punishment - he just decided not to stop the game anymore and if you want to lie down while your team lacks a player - your choice.

CharlestonJew
Jul 7, 2011

Your next post will be "im gay"


Illegal Hen

Suntoucher posted:

wow thanks for the hot take, dipshit american retard, who lives in a country where the most popular sport's gamecasts show literally less than 10% of actual gameplay and 55%+ of players standing around or commercials. i really appreciate your opinion on a sport where your massive and insanely rich country can't even beat loving Trinidad and Tobago on a regular basis. i am glad for this post and your continued existence in this universe, op

do you have some sort of problem with Trinidad and Tobago?

Oscar Wild
Apr 11, 2006



"Let the women play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball," he said at the time.

"They could, for example, have tighter shorts."

Actually fifa is a beautifully dickensian mess of names. Sepp Blatter, "Tokyo" Sexwale

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!

How does this relate to EA'S FIFA showcase at this year's E3?

CharlestonJew
Jul 7, 2011

Your next post will be "im gay"


Illegal Hen

EorayMel posted:

How does this relate to EA'S FIFA showcase at this year's E3?

they're gonna roll out Pele's withered corpse at the next E3 to showcase the new FIFA Zombies mode

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014





Tortured By Flan

soccer is already the most unwatchable sport on earth OP. loving amateur golf is at least 20 times as exciting as the world cup final.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

No. 6
Jun 30, 2002



Fallen Rib

Soccer is better than most sports. Quick, fun, and done. None of this 4-6 hour bullshit.

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges


Saalkin posted:

Wtf baseball is boring as gently caress how can anyone rate it above hockey.

didn't rate it, just which sport more people were talking about in this here city of NYC

Jose
Jul 24, 2007



show lots of attractive men problem solved

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

Admire the roses: so beautiful, so delicious.

big nipples big life posted:

soccer is already the most unwatchable sport on earth OP. loving amateur golf is at least 20 times as exciting as the world cup final.

Yeah plus at least golf is relaxing to watch. Soccer announcers are way too excited by nothing at all happening and if the stars align and someone actually scores they lose their poo poo amd scare the dog out of the room.

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014





Tortured By Flan

I've never seen anyone dive in golf either.

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

Admire the roses: so beautiful, so delicious.

big nipples big life posted:

I've never seen anyone dive in golf either.

People dive in other contact sports too but they aren't such obvious babies about it and they actually get penalized if they are. At least be subtle about your cheating.

Twelve Batmans
Dec 24, 2009

Actually my great great grandfather got his years and years ago.

Legally.

Sorry if that ruffles your feathers.


They did the same thing to E3 (and blizzcon- but gently caress blizzard) and it sucks now.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007



anyway football owns sorry op

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BoyG
Nov 24, 2004


Muldoon

I hope this carries over to the premier league so I can see more ugly fat topless geordie men in the middle of December looking sad in the stands because their team doesn't score.

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