FIFA is on a quest to make soccer the most unwatchable sport on earth

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > FIFA is on a quest to make soccer the most unwatchable sport on earth

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

why does FIFA have a "diversity chief"? he is really loving up his job, all of the players are men

# ¿ Jul 12, 2018 13:00

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 04:32

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Verisimilidude posted:

this year I've heard more Americans talk about soccer than any other sport because, hate to break it to you, but most sports are terrible

I'd say the list went soccer, basketball, baseball, hockey, and a far distant football

football and soccer are the same game

# ¿ Jul 12, 2018 13:19

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

check out this goat it is good enough to play pro soccer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvzvxJPwHgc

# ¿ Jul 12, 2018 14:02

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Rectal Death Adept posted:

I'm not sure why it took until this World Cup and Neymar's antics for the entire world to acknowledge this is a huge problem. A friend tried to get me into the 2010 World Cup and it looked like they were LARPing a WW2 battle because 2-4 people would throw themselves to the ground like an artillery strike landed and then lay there screaming until they figured out which person the Referee believed the most and was actually going to pay attention to so the rest could bravely pretend they were shaking their non-existant injuries off and be completely fine 2 minutes later unless they had another opportunity to pitch themselves into the dirt.

I was used to American sports so I didn't understand what was going on until I realized there is no clock stoppage and people figured out you get infinite and instant time-outs by diving. Momentum against you? Dive! Leading near the end? Dive! Their best player inhaled the same oxygen as you? Dive and get him penalized!

I think the entire last 15 minutes of one game was doctors carrying a steady stream of players off of the field because the team that was up 1-0 was coincidentally suffering a huge amount of devastating and time wasting injuries and they won because everytime the other team got posession one of their player's skeletons spontaneously detonated. This suckass crybaby poo poo is a core fundamental tactic in the sport that has been prevalent for a long time so its weird that soccer fans claim its just a problem that needs fixed when the entire sport is based around it. You may as well award points for the best acting and most strategic dives at this point.

they could fix the problem with dives by explicitly allowing tackling

# ¿ Jul 13, 2018 13:41

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Earwicker posted:

i dont know anything about gaelic football except i happened to be staying in dublin the night of the dublin vs kerry final a couple years ago and man the whole town went completely loving nuts it was pretty great

i think gaelic football is like normal football except there are no rules

# ¿ Jul 13, 2018 22:34

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 04:32

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Play posted:

You have my attention. Now what the hell is Gaelic football.

In the same spirit, I really really like Aussie rules football. But it's not really soccer at all and has more in common with football or rugby

Gaelic football is like basketball, but played on a soccer field and you can tackle people
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEAbWrdB9XU

# ¿ Jul 14, 2018 00:08

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > FIFA is on a quest to make soccer the most unwatchable sport on earth