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When I was 15 my brother had his gf over and she brought along her friend who was a girl I'd kissed at a school dance a year or so before, rather innocently. They went off to do their own thing and she came to hang out in my room. She hugged me and kissed me while we were sitting on my bed and then she grabbed my hard rod and said 'oh, wow, you've got a boner' in a sexy voice with a smile, and I insisted it was just the way my jeans were(??) (ffs). She left with my brother and his gf maybe 30 minutes later and I immediately went to the bathroom to jack it  A little over a year later she was pregnant so someone else obviously wasn't as dumb as I was So there we are, the most stupid thing I've done when horny is deny I'm horny when what could have been a golden opportunity to have my first gently caress. It took another 2 years before I finally lost my v a dmc delorean fucked around with this message at 01:10 on Jul 17, 2018 |
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Jul 17, 2018 01:08
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banana peels are just natures fleshlight
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Jul 17, 2018 01:11
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Jim Barris posted:I mean. How do you not? I had to be extremely intoxicated at all times ergo I had to be able to function at a job while extremely intoxicated. Cause I need the job for the money to spend on the drugs to keep me high 24/7 Yeah, needing to stay high to not get dopesick so you can work to afford staying high etc. was one of the main reasons I didn't quit for so long. For content, one of my high school girlfriends had a sister I tried to hit on multiple times, including the times she'd use my gf's AIM account.
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Jul 17, 2018 01:36
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When I was a hormone-addled teenager I put my junk on a lava lamp because I thought the heat would feel good For the curious, this will cauterize your dick and make walking a loving nightmare for about a week
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Jul 17, 2018 01:43
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An ex from a decade ago that I had completely removed from my life and blocked on all social media posted a "missed connections" ad that basically said: "I know we had our differences, but I'm ready to let you do whatever you want with me."  A facebook friend found it and posted it on my very public profile instead of sending me a DM, and I only saw it after about 50 people liked/reacted to it. Yay. So after deleting that I sent the poster of the ad a message (knowing very well who it was) to the effect of "Hello this is the lawyer of handen to whom am I directing this message?" Fastforward a couple days, we're messaging back and forth, turned out she was newly single and was propositioning me... to rape her. Like, in a hotel room, no holds barred, gently caress her half to death while punching her in the face type poo poo, etc. She went into vivid detail of what she was after from me, but I couldn't help feeling like I would be walking into a trap. Now, I'm not one to shy away from a little choke-play from time to time, so it should go without saying Anyway, the stupidest thing I ever did was, a couple months later I drunkenly got back in touch with her, telling her I was still entertaining the idea. So I guess it "technically" remains in limbo. Are there any lawyer goons in the house who could weigh in on this? Should I rape an ex I haven't seen in over a decade? She's literally asking for it. I'm so confused!
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Jul 17, 2018 02:21
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Lmfao
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Jul 17, 2018 02:23
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I’m a lawyer & you should be good
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Jul 17, 2018 02:23
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myDad posted:I’m a lawyer & you should be good OH BOY HERE I COME 
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Jul 17, 2018 02:26
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A few years ago, I smashed a 5' 4" girl that weighed like 320+ lbs.
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Jul 17, 2018 02:29
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This thread is a reminder why goons should not gently caress
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Jul 17, 2018 02:30
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I'm not. LAayer but don't do that okay have a good night
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Jul 17, 2018 02:31
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Not a layer indeed
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Jul 17, 2018 02:32
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Colonel Cancer posted:Not a layer indeed I work at a convenient store
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Jul 17, 2018 02:34
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Jerked it to pictures of Jose’s dick that he sent me because I told him I was a goonette.
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Jul 17, 2018 02:48
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hosed a fat chick.
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Jul 17, 2018 02:48
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No. 6 posted:hosed a fat chick. That's not a very nice thing to call your sister.
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Jul 17, 2018 02:51
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veiled boner fuel posted:Jerked it to pictures of Jose’s dick that he sent me because I told him I was a goonette. Nice. I bet he's got a massive hog.
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Jul 17, 2018 02:51
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I JO'd with IcyHot because I thought the hot/cool sensation would be pleasurable. No one told me the sensation would be 100x amplified when applied to the penis.
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Jul 17, 2018 02:57
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i have sex with stupid randos when im horny and then my cats judge me for it but i dont care bc i bring home the bacon literally and metaphorically
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Jul 17, 2018 03:12
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Soup du Journey posted:i have sex with stupid randos when im horny and then my cats judge me for it but i dont care bc i bring home the bacon literally and metaphorically Ah, fat chicks
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Jul 17, 2018 03:13
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no im sleek like a ferret who doesnt care about u
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Jul 17, 2018 03:15
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a poo poo
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Jul 17, 2018 03:16
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Jul 17, 2018 03:20
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nice
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Jul 17, 2018 03:21
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Took a pretty heinous broad to the bone zone, except not really because when we got to her place all she did was give me a little hand action. It was awful, as you can imagine. Like giving 4 lbs of raw hamburger meat the American Pie treatment. After beating my helpless dick for over half an hour, I was finally able to shoot one lonesome rope, except she angled my dick like a mortar so it arced into the air before landing in my belly button. This is the moment when the sunrise peeked through her window. The sunlight sobered me up. I got dressed and walked back to my apartment like a cheap whore.
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Jul 17, 2018 03:32
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I kissed a girl on the first date, after she spent the whole afternoon revealing a troubling past to me that honestly wasn't appropriate to say to a stranger you're going out with for the first time, but she was hot and I wasn't thinking right because of it. Once I got home and took a cold shower I realized that I was stepping on coals and I ghosted her. She needed help that I couldn't give her. I dunno where she is now, but I hope she's doing okay. The second/tied for first dumbest thing was probably jerking it in a public restroom when I was a teenager and I couldn't get a moment alone in my house. It's not any fun when there's no A/C, unsurprisingly.
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Jul 17, 2018 04:39
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Jose posted:loving a vicars daughter This
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Jul 17, 2018 04:45
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It's like the opposite of this thread but this really pretty girl used to come over and go down on me but I had really bad social anxiety and when she asked me out and I said yes I still wouldn't hold her hand or kiss her in public or anything and eventually she was like gently caress you then and I was a real dumbass because of my broken brain. Could've lost my virginity a lot earlier if I had just been a real boyfriend instead of an awkward rear end in a top hat
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Jul 17, 2018 04:53
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When I was a dumb kid, I once used Nair as lube to jack it. Imagine my surprise when I suddenly felt as if I'd stuck my dick in a volcano.
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Jul 17, 2018 05:34
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Jose posted:my sister has moved into ym flat for a couple of months and her best friend is coming to stay this weekend and apparently wants to gently caress me so it might have changed by next week Get your sister in on the act too (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jul 17, 2018 05:36
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Sid Vicious posted:It's like the opposite of this thread but this really pretty girl used to come over and go down on me but I had really bad social anxiety and when she asked me out and I said yes I still wouldn't hold her hand or kiss her in public or anything and eventually she was like gently caress you then and I was a real dumbass because of my broken brain. Could've lost my virginity a lot earlier if I had just been a real boyfriend instead of an awkward rear end in a top hat
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Jul 17, 2018 05:36
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I guess it's cool to hear the other side though.
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Jul 17, 2018 05:37
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Kak posted:Get your sister in on the act too Sister Act Threeway
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Jul 17, 2018 05:37
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FactsAreUseless posted:I guess it's cool to hear the other side though. What the...
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Jul 17, 2018 05:42
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i got married in 1977 e: on this very day. holy poo poo dee eight fucked around with this message at 06:07 on Jul 17, 2018 |
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Jul 17, 2018 05:47
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When I was 17 someone I was interested in invited me round to her house late one night, her intentions were clear. I declined because I was too anxious. Understandably she nicknamed me wimpy kid and started dating someone way cooler.
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Jul 17, 2018 05:57
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J.O.Y posted:When I was 17 someone I was interested in invited me round to her house late one night, her intentions were clear. I declined because I was too anxious. Understandably she nicknamed me wimpy kid and started dating someone way cooler. Do you have a series of books based on your diary?
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Jul 17, 2018 06:04
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*Makes cool, Elvislike face* hosed my own mom. Wait no poo poo
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Jul 17, 2018 06:04
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Are Admins allowed to own is regular users that hard ?
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Jul 17, 2018 06:08
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Sid Vicious posted:Are Admins allowed to own is regular users that hard ? I don't know what this means, dog
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Jul 17, 2018 06:10
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