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Tetracube posted:Unfriended: The Intellectual Dark Web Everyone who dies uses non-binary pronouns except for the lone incel, who discovers the killer is none other than Jordan Peterson!
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Jul 17, 2018 03:26
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 12:05 |
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Opening shot: teenage girl protagonist is video chatting with her best friend, talking about this new mysterious website they found Over the shoulder shot of computer screen while an evil voice says "I've caught you in my web." Family dinner; dad's a cluless hardass; mom's on valuum; little brother's a little shithead; protagonist teenage daughter texts on phone through entire meal with a huge pile of angst thrown in for good measure "Did you hear about Darren? Yea, he invested in buttcoin and became a millionaire at 16. He's having a party at his new mansion this weekend and I heard Billy is going to be there... *Makes teasing face at protagonist* Lot of booooring poo poo filler, with some horny teens and sexual tension mixed in Protagonist tries to buy something of the dark web, but doesn't realize that they are really being hacked by the evil Mastermind of the dark web, who cackles madly as the shot fades into the next day at school People start dieing in more and more elaborate manners, often by "hacked" machinery/electronics "You don't get it, the dark web is everywhere! Theres nowhere we can hide!" Nerd sage introduced late in the movie as the magical negro lives in mom's basement, which is covered in anime posters, video game action figures, and discarded pizza/hot Pocket boxes. Nerd sage wears an Atari shirt with a gigantic marinara stain on it. The "Mastermind" of the dark web turns out to be a gigantic sentient spider. The protagonist kills it by dropping an old CRT monitor on its head.
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Jul 17, 2018 03:27
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A dark web hacker forces the protag to pick between two side characters and then kills them both anyway
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Jul 17, 2018 03:27
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The day is saved when the hidden traitor friend has their house burn down when their homemade cardboard box mining rig catches fire
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Jul 17, 2018 03:29
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1redflag posted:Opening shot: teenage girl protagonist is video chatting with her best friend, talking about this new mysterious website they found this has a good 'flow'
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Jul 17, 2018 03:29
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a gang of teenage porch pirates get more than they bargained for when Amazon drones and the Dominos road paver team up to seek revenge
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Jul 17, 2018 03:31
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Is this a remake of the prescient film The Net starring Sandra Bullock?
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Jul 17, 2018 03:34
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A guy pays $10 to post on an internet forum, another $10 for plat, then $5 for a custom title and realizes he spent all the money he was supposed to use for insulin
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Jul 17, 2018 03:34
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house of the dad posted:A guy pays $10 dollars to post on an internet forum, another $10 for plat, then $5 for a custom title and realizes he spent all the money he was supposed to use for insulin You don't need two feet
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Jul 17, 2018 03:35
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Tetracube posted:Unfriended: The Intellectual Dark Web drat the guy who played ben shapiro really nailed it 
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Jul 17, 2018 03:36
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A man, streaming over his phone and talking about his 165 IQ and mensa membership, walks into the business end of a car wash and is ripped to pieces
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Jul 17, 2018 03:38
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1redflag posted:Opening shot: teenage girl protagonist is video chatting with her best friend, talking about this new mysterious website they found This is a goddamned masterpiece
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Jul 17, 2018 03:45
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A hacker hijacks an internet router in a teenagers room and over clocks it so it's producing dangerous levels of RF Signals that makes everyone within range hallucinate. This causes the young starlet of the movie to starts to hallucinate and hear ghostly voices that she thinks are of a sibling that died when she was very young. Throughout the film she tries communicating with the voices in her head and due to the hallucinations she doesn't know are affecting her, she thinks she is successful in making contact due to starting to see shadows (another side effect of the RF radiation). Over time this drives her crazy and ends with her trying to convince others that she is talking to ghosts and she is eventually committed to a mental health facility when it's reveled that the hacker behind the hijacking was a guy in her school that was trying to manipulate her into going to him for help with her computer. That's a half assed idea off the dome that would be bomb if thought through properly
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Jul 17, 2018 03:46
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Someone clicks on a link, a video pops up that starts with a kid shouting "BOOGEYMAN!"
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Jul 17, 2018 03:46
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A Nerd rolls his eyes and scoffs: "There's no such thing as the insert-scare-quotes dark web. It is a misnomer. It's just another example of people mystifying and vilifying something they do not understand. If you understand the P2P algorythms and cryptocurrency involved in these websites, it's all pretty simple and mundane. There's absolutely nothing to be afraid of." Suddenly something moves right behind him and his web-cam feed is cut off.
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Jul 17, 2018 03:52
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A character is channel surfing. He skips right past a news channel talking about mysterious disappearances on the internet and clicks over to
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Jul 17, 2018 03:56
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They peer deep into the dark web. And I mean deeper than dark, abyssal void web...and there in the nothingness is the face of Lowtax looking back at them.
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Jul 17, 2018 03:58
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Someone sends the main character an image macro that says "Gonna get you!" She blocks the sender. Suddenly all of her friends are retweeting and reblogging the macro, it's everywhere!
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Jul 17, 2018 03:59
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A NERD sets up a bitcoin mining rig. Suddenly a little gold coin flies out of it. He picks it up, staring at it in wonder. More coins shoot from the machine. Wonder turns to horror as he is BURIED ALIVE!
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Jul 17, 2018 04:01
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Scary! fucked around with this message at 04:06 on Jul 17, 2018 |
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Jul 17, 2018 04:01
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A wealthy video vlogger is murdered by Poverty Ghost.
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Jul 17, 2018 04:03
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A character goes to Wiki-how to look up How Do I Navigate The Dark Web? All of the art on the page is of her being murdered.
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Jul 17, 2018 04:05
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:A character goes to Wiki-how to look up How Do I Navigate The Dark Web? Only if it involves that loving dog lmao
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Jul 17, 2018 04:07
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Jul 17, 2018 04:13
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Sid Vicious posted:Only if it involves that loving dog lmao That too. But also this, except he stabbed her: 
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Jul 17, 2018 04:17
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pounded in the butt by my downloaded ghost
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Jul 17, 2018 04:24
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"I think it's wrong to hurt people. Reblog if you agree." But nobody reblogs BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL DEAD!
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Jul 17, 2018 04:29
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The horrifying revelation at the end was that the internet-powered murder spree was crowd funded. A hundred thousand unique backers pledged millions to make it possible. All of the funding brackets have a name of a different now-dead person. And they have all been reached, but one. The one with the name of the last character left alive. As she watches, the funding meter ticks up one more time.
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Jul 17, 2018 04:42
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Modern day tumblr types get sucked into The Portal Of Evil and go totally nuts because of Fat Chicks In Party Hats
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Jul 17, 2018 04:42
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A supporting character is pursued through their home by a giant living integrated circuit while this music plays. A squad of hardened, wisecracking marines are sent into the dark web via an oversized dialup modem that they crawl into like playground tubes. The main characters come across their bodies later in the film, mutilated by AOL trial cd's.
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Jul 17, 2018 04:50
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BIG rear end LATINA TEEN CHASED BY LESBIAN LOVING TREX ON HOVERBOARD THEN KILL
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Jul 17, 2018 04:59
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Scene: Two characters are in an abandoned NERD DEN. Discarded pizza boxes and empty soda cans (with prominently visible logos) loom in the dusty gloom. They are here because the oldest, darkest part of the Dark Web cannot be accessed by modern computers. "Come on, hurry!" says the Cool Hero. "This place is giving me the creeps." "I can't," says the Nerdy Sidekick. "This thing's ancient. Dawn of time stuff." The Nerdy Sidekick closes off pop-up after pop-up. He swears loudly. "What's wrong?" says the Cool Hero. "drat thing's infected," says the Nerd. "Worst case I've ever seen. All the old spyware has just been running on it non-stop for over a decade. Changing. Evolving." "Whoa, what's that?" says the Cool Hero. "Awww. That's cute." The computer starts singing 'Daisy, Daisy' in a mechanical voice. "Oh no," the Sidekick jumps up and backs away from the computer. "We - we have to get out of here. We have to go NOW!" "What is it? What?" As the Hero tries to calm the nerd, Bonzi Buddy grows to fill the entire screen.
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Jul 17, 2018 05:00
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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:Is this a remake of the prescient film The Net starring Sandra Bullock? That's being remade as "The Nyet", by Yakov Smirnoff as a last ditch attempt to resurrect his career.
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Jul 17, 2018 06:59
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:That's being remade as "The Nyet", by Yakov Smirnoff as a last ditch attempt to resurrect his career. ha ha
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Jul 17, 2018 07:00
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TWO girls poop their pants at the same time but in different places through the magic of THE DARK WEB!
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Jul 17, 2018 08:09
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Lowtax posted:If you've been fortunate enough to avoid the first "Unfriended" film, it's a movie that takes place entirely on a user's desktop. They video chat with friends and everything is as it seems... but wait, there's actually a killer ghost in the internet killing all the people who was mean to her back when she was less dead! Oh no! Everything is actually not what it seems!!! The best part was when a girl pooped her pants if that's any indication of quality. This is the only part I read and it made me laugh because it was so unexpected
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Jul 17, 2018 08:21
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Sharp-eyed viewers will note a cameo by “Tom” from MySpace.
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Jul 17, 2018 12:02
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the dark web is visualised as being made of sticky, slimy strands of translucent material against a black background
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Jul 17, 2018 12:37
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They do not realize to turn their monitors off
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Jul 17, 2018 13:16
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Sid Vicious posted:Will Sasso spits out some lemons buy this time they're deadly lemons A lemon... party?
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Jul 17, 2018 13:27
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