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  Being dead is no good, so I decided to quit it. Sorry, haters. I don't really know a thing about it, before you ask about Heaven or Hell or the now tragically less trendy Land of Two Fields. Fields! Everybody's about clouds or the unself these days. All I know is: being dead, thumbs down. Bleh. And no, I'm not like a thousand-year old biddy, I hardly remember any of that. Sometimes in dreams or dazes I get visions of things-that-where, but usually not exciting unless you're a historian. No, I won't write your history books for you. I'm an unreliable narrator! You know, I know, I died famously in the Damocles Crisis. I don't really... know the old me. Mes? Selves. I guess I was worshipped once, which sounds like a big headache but I guess I was into it because hey, cats had it good. I took a hit for the team; the team is catkind. But you know, mortals are flaky, I mean, you see who runs a lot of this world. Huh? Huh? Well... guess it's less funny when you don't think you'll live forever. Anyway, my past self got bitter and selfish, I guess, and then became this cartoon villain who was like and now I steal the emerald sphinx because I was an old crazy deity who most people did not like. I don't even like her and she was me! I guess some people did like the way she looked in a catsuit. No, I don't want to hear about it. Gross. But- and this is all second-hand, so, you know, don't backpat me, I don't get the legit credit- when Starog the Void Beast attacked, ex-me had stolen the of Eye of Ra to hold him off and keep him from swallowing the Cosmic Barge of the Sun. Good for the rest of the pantheon, but it was daylights for me. Literally, as the Sun Barge ran went out of sight. The-me-that-was held it off for Earth's heroes to escape and fight him. I don't know why. But that was enough for me to die for a time, squashed in his event horizon. Soul-crushing. And you know, most times nowadays, an old god dies, that's mostly for good. Not enough worshippers to roll you out of the golden casket. But cats. Cats always have always had devotees. And I think that helped me hang on. And then... well... you know. Cat videos. There's power in cats. My power. I mean, it's not exactly golden statues and wrapped cat corpses, but it's enough for me to be born again. And- guess- there's anime- and- y'know, let's not talk about that part. Let's stick to cat videos, felinememes. Macros. The power of internet. That's why I'm here. I'm not giving weirdos credit for me. But is it enough for a god? Maybe I'm just a last spark of... well... hm. Nevermind. Spoilers. But I feel like... I was born out of my past self's desire for good, that last spark? I can feel that. Not... remember it. It's like all the bitter went bye-bye! Protector goddess days are here again! Worship not required. Feels a bit weird for a modern god. The others talk about those old days of prayers and patrons, but... it's weird, right? In any case, I've got cats. I've got eyes everywhere. I know it's still not great. But I can do things about it. I can see wherever a cat at, if I focus. And sure, there's stopping violence, saving people in trouble, relief is just a cat away- but there's more. There's all the secrets they notice. Their little cat heads don't recognize what evil moneylenders do, but I can. And then reporters do. And judges. Gotcha, you grubby greyhair merchants. You may wonder: what's it like to be a modern god? What's being an world-famous ancient figure do to a tiny head? Can I rewrite the old rules? Is spying on people with cats totally against some dumb law I don't care about? Can the power of Manu and Choupette be harnessed for good? Can I still live forever and ever? Or am I on just bonus time? Well, if you're interested, remember to like and subscribe! I'll have videos about solving mysteries and fighting evil thanks to my cat-meraman. fine, fine, I'll take the camera off, just c'mere *fumble* *click* ( Doomed? Outsider? Delinquent? )
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Jul 24, 2018 01:34
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 05:38 |
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