everything you know about the big bang is wrong

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > everything you know about the big bang is wrong

HUSKY DILF: aggressively chill

i accidently left some raspberry jam on the lens cover of that big telescope that was in rebel without a cause so all that stuff about a red shift and all the stuff moving away from us really fast is just raspberry jelly i apologize to all the astrologers and astronomers

# ? Jul 29, 2018 00:32

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 20, 2024 00:36

HUSKY DILF: aggressively chill

the telescope with the raspberry jam was also in la-la land

# ? Jul 29, 2018 00:33

Manifisto

that movie deep impact was actually based on a true life story, that all happened to me right up to the point where I found out that the extinction level asteroid heading straight for earth was actually an ant on the lens of my telescope. im sorry I have a sweet tooth and sometimes I like a little snack when I'm telescoping late at night, but I admit it does attract ants.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jul 29, 2018 01:58

krampster2

Hi it's me Sheldon. On episode 2, season 7 (26th Sep, 2013) I stated that the atomic weight of Erbium is 167.28. It saddens me to say that I was wrong, it is actually 167.26. There was a smudge on my periodic table and I read it wrong, I'm terribly sorry.

For the five years since that episode the periodic tables have been operating on the wrong numbers. I just want to say that the show is not an encyclopedia of scientific knowledge, please do not update the relevant literature according to the statements I make on the show. Many people don't know this, but it is actually intended to be a comedic show.

# ? Jul 29, 2018 04:24

HUSKY DILF: aggressively chill

checking in again with another telescope confession I'm kinda also involved in the whole moon being made of green cheese rumor due to my atrocious telescope cleaning habits and a faulty fridge

# ? Jul 29, 2018 04:42

krampster2

Forgive me, one night I was really drunk and looking at Pluto with my telescope. I said out loud: "Pshhh, that's no plant there that's just a tiny blue thingy hahaha!" But someone heard it and changed all the astronomy textbooks to say that Pluto is not a planet

# ? Jul 29, 2018 05:46

HUSKY DILF: aggressively chill

seen the astrologic sign for mars? its a quick sketch of my penis i drew on a bathroom stall during an astronomy conference

# ? Jul 30, 2018 03:56

google THIS

Hi, this is Galileo. Sorry for the confusion but the sun does in fact revolve around the earth after all. That's what happens when you forget a minus sign, ha ha.

# ? Jul 30, 2018 17:23

HUSKY DILF: aggressively chill

have you ever looked in the wrong end of a telescope and things that are very close seem very far away? it turns out that neptune is just chilling somewhere in a cornfield in nebraska

# ? Jul 31, 2018 03:24