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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



The Conqueror cometh
The “uncrowned” Universal Champion is coming for the throne. After being denied Brock Lesnar’s coveted title at WrestleMania and WWE Greatest Royal Rumble, Roman Reigns has earned another opportunity to take down The Conqueror, this time at SummerSlam in Brooklyn. As Lesnar’s advocate Paul Heyman revealed this past Monday, The Beast Incarnate will bring his title to Cincinnati for Raw, where Reigns will be waiting.

Finn Bálor sizes up The Constable
Constable Baron Corbin seems pretty bitter that Finn Bálor beat him at WWE Extreme Rules, going so far as to relocate the Irishman’s dressing room to a children’s playhouse this past Monday night. Of course, Bálor is a kid at heart, and he took the attempted insult in stride. There will be no smiles, however, when he takes on the Team Red Constable one-on-one. Will WWE’s first Universal Champion make Corbin regret his repeated insults, or will The Constable abuse his power — and size advantage — in this WWE Extreme Rules rematch?

The Baddest Challenger on the Planet
Ronda Rousey’s extended suspension is officially over, and her Raw Women’s Championship opportunity against Alexa Bliss at SummerSlam is still a go. When we last saw Rousey on the red brand two weeks ago, The Baddest Woman on the Planet had violated her Raw ban to attack both The Goddess and her BFF Mickie James. (And, yes, that was genuine fear in Alexa’s eyes when Rousey went on the offensive.) Little Miss Bliss might need to keep her head on a swivel this Monday night when Raw gets “Rowdy” once again.

The Architect looks to deconstruct Drew McIntrye
This past Monday night, Seth Rollins & Finn Bálor defeated Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre when The Kingslayer pinned The Showoff, earning himself a rematch for the workhorse title at SummerSlam in the process. However, before he battles to reclaim the Intercontinental Title, Rollins will take on Ziggler’s imposing associate McIntyre this Monday night. Can Rollins build his momentum en route to The Biggest Event of the Summer?

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DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST
If Braun doesn't attempt to cash in tonight he is dumb.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

watch some sweet vids about FF8 instead of this show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jPlnHWzNvA

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

WE ALL KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN

DarkstarIV posted:

If Braun doesn't attempt to cash in tonight he is dumb.

it makes literally no sense in kayfabe for him not to cash in

which means that he won't

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

WE ALL KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN
also, just reminding everyone:

life is pain

god is dead

true love is a lie

raw will suck and we will watch it anyways

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Professor Funk posted:

it makes literally no sense in kayfabe for him not to cash in

which means that he won't

I mean I would assume that Owens would try to stop him (presumably his match for the briefcase doesn't count as an automatic match against BRAUN if he is champion) but there's an equal chance that it just literally never gets brought up through the entire night.

Destroy My Sweater
Jul 24, 2009

raw

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

WE ALL KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN

Jerusalem posted:

I mean I would assume that Owens would try to stop him (presumably his match for the briefcase doesn't count as an automatic match against BRAUN if he is champion) but there's an equal chance that it just literally never gets brought up through the entire night.

If Owens was portrayed as any sort of threat to Braun during this feud, that would make sense. But they haven't, which means Braun's choice is basically "cash in right now and fight for the belt" and "don't, and fight Kevin Owens with your guaranteed shot on the line." What Owens would do tonight would be a non-factor in that decision based on how they've booked it.

CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!
I'll be finally finishing the Nuka-World DLC for Fallout 4, followed by using a mod where the Minutemen attack Nuka-World and take it over once the Raiders are all dead.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


has got the boar, IN YOUR EYE!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Well that was a somber start :smith:

Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?
They...probably should have picked a better picture.

Borrowed Ladder
May 4, 2007

monarch of the sleeping marches

Jerusalem posted:

Well that was a somber start :smith:

Have they ever done two in one show before??

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon
at least Brian Christopher won't have to watch Raw

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

WE ALL KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN
i for one am unsure as to who is the biggest dog in the yard

kitten emergency
Jan 13, 2008

get meow this wack-ass crystal prison

Professor Funk posted:

also, just reminding everyone:

life is pain

god is dead

true love is a lie

raw will suck and we will watch it anyways

eat arbys

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

"I'm gonna whoop Brock Lesnar's rear end!" says man who has had his rear end whooped by Brock Lesnar half-a-dozen times already.

TheKingslayer
Sep 3, 2008

Jerusalem posted:

"I'm gonna whoop Brock Lesnar's rear end!" says man who has had his rear end whooped by Brock Lesnar half-a-dozen times already.

And Brock has never once cheated to do it.

Commissar Ken
Dec 9, 2006

Children STILL love me, dammit!


Jerusalem posted:

"I'm gonna whoop Brock Lesnar's rear end!" says man who has had his rear end whooped by Brock Lesnar half-a-dozen times already.

But this time!




...but this time. :smith:

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit

College Slice
kcik things off with some booing

Le Saboteur
Dec 5, 2007

I hear you wish to ball, adventurer..
Ah this old chestnut, the battle thats raged for 2-3 years now.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit

College Slice
did they at least do a picture for grandmaster sexay

Saint Freak
Apr 16, 2007

Regretting is an insult to oneself
Buglord

kitten emergency
Jan 13, 2008

get meow this wack-ass crystal prison
i'll give the wwe an unimaginable amount of credit if braun cashes in and wins tonight

bartok
May 10, 2006



is it Boo Dog or Big Dog?

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Coach: Roman FINALLY gets what he wants.... ANOTHER shot at Brock!

:lol:

is pepsi ok
Oct 23, 2002

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

Commissar Ken posted:

But this time!




...but this time. :smith:

Ten years from now, Roman Reigns challenges Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania 45, swearing this time he has his number, as Lesnar is carted to the ring because they can no longer pay him enough to bother using his own feet; two matches down, Seth Rollins wrestles Dolph Ziggler for the intercontinental title again but when the match begins they both hug each other and start crying

Le Saboteur
Dec 5, 2007

I hear you wish to ball, adventurer..
Roman Reigns is going to win this feud by going 1-5 in it.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit

College Slice

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

That's because he cares about the UFC and Daniel Cormier.

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon
who cares

Commissar Ken
Dec 9, 2006

Children STILL love me, dammit!


CarlCX posted:

Ten years from now, Roman Reigns challenges Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania 45, swearing this time he has his number, as Lesnar is carted to the ring because they can no longer pay him enough to bother using his own feet; two matches down, Seth Rollins wrestles Dolph Ziggler for the intercontinental title again but when the match begins they both hug each other and start crying

Ziggler: But doctor, I am Pagliacci.

Rollins: *tears*

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

The man who has easily beaten Roman many times will be too scared to get in his face!

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

I respect Bobby Lashley because he gave me a hard-fought match; I have zero respect for you, man who repeatedly beat my rear end

kitten emergency
Jan 13, 2008

get meow this wack-ass crystal prison
oh boy

part-timer brock at it again!!

Le Saboteur
Dec 5, 2007

I hear you wish to ball, adventurer..
DANIEL CORMIER SHOUT OUT

Saint Freak
Apr 16, 2007

Regretting is an insult to oneself
Buglord
Brock will not get in my face!





Ron Howard: He would

bartok
May 10, 2006



Le Saboteur posted:

Roman Reigns is going to win this feud by going 1-5 in it.

Reigns is like me going up against a boss in Dark Souls. Just keep banging your head against it and eventually you will win.

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HitTheTargets
Mar 3, 2006

I came here to laugh at you.
Opening the show with a Roman Reigns promo, eh?

Let's see where this new idea takes us.

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