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Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord

Creamed Cormp posted:

look at those fools who think kids are good... I had myself chemically castrated so I would never have them... stupid breeders bringing the human race closer to extinction by having too many crotchspawn... I have my fur-babies anyway and I'm perfectly happy... why would you want a stupid, screaming child who poops everywhere and fills the house with smile and laught- I mean who is super dumb and ugly and a waste of money... the liters of alcohol, coffee and antidepressants I ingest everyday are just here to make my life even better

no come back, I need to tell you how stupid having kids is when netflix and video games are here to keep you happy!

What happened to your AV? Gotta say your posting brand is in the shitter without it. :colbert:

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PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016


:cheers:


Nuclearmonkee posted:

are you making GBS threads me. the average child is a sociopathic narcissist by default unless you help them develop their sense of empathy, socialize them, and provide a strong set of boundaries to mold good behavior

like my kids are wonderful and i love to be around them but it takes a lot of work to develop a kid so that they don't end up as a screaming monster like most adults are underneath their veneer of civility


i love this part. you get to re-experience the world like it's new again through them

yo seriouspost what’s actually involved in doing this? i don’t have kids and won’t have any anytime soon but myself and my three sisters all turned out real well and i couldn’t really point to anything that my parents did that led us to turn out ok vs my friends who i knew as a little kid who were monsters. it’s probably something real obvious that i’ve taken for granted but idk what it is

Fiddler on the Reef
Apr 29, 2011


Rex-Goliath posted:

yo seriouspost what’s actually involved in doing this? i don’t have kids and won’t have any anytime soon but myself and my three sisters all turned out real well and i couldn’t really point to anything that my parents did that led us to turn out ok vs my friends who i knew as a little kid who were monsters. it’s probably something real obvious that i’ve taken for granted but idk what it is

I don’t think it takes as much effort as he claims. Basically just model the behavior you want to see in your kid while providing gentle guidance and then let the kid take it from there (don’t helicopter). The only real boundaries you need are to not hurt others and don’t break things that aren’t yours.

I guess it can be tough to model the behavior you want to see cuz they can really test your patience, but stay calm, don’t get angry, and try to see the world as your kid sees it and it becomes a lot easier.

DangerDummy!
Jul 7, 2009

/\ Well said /\

I really wanted to bang my wife today but the three year old wouldn't leave us alone for ten drat minutes and watch Puppy Dog Pals or whatever. Every time I closed and locked the bedroom door she would come over and start wailing on it and asking us why the door was locked and she wouldn't stop until one of us opened the door. So that was annoying.

Other than that, thumbs up. I've got two daughters and I think I'm raising them right, and they are the best part about being me. They made me a better person, too. I was kind of a mean, angry piece of poo poo before I had them. That usually doesn't work out well, but they really calmed me down and allowed me to be a happier person.

I hope they reach a good, respectable age before the world dies.

Winifred Madgers
Feb 12, 2002

Icochet posted:

gently caress that noise. I have plenty of practice and still manage to bang their heads on door frames etc on the reg. No way am i holding anyone else's.

I do it to my kids on purpose, walking down the stairs after a bath I have this ritual of (as gently as possible) bumping their heads on the ceiling where it slopes and saying, "bump!" Makes 'em laugh.

Jose Mengelez
Sep 11, 2001

by Azathoth

DangerDummy! posted:

I really wanted to bang my wife today but the three year old wouldn't leave us alone for ten drat minutes and watch Puppy Dog Pals or whatever. Every time I closed and locked the bedroom door she would come over and start wailing on it and asking us why the door was locked and she wouldn't stop until one of us opened the door. So that was annoying.

this is what grandmas are for dude, just swap "horny" for "exhausted" when asking her to take them off your hands for a bit.

GORILLA BASTARD
Jun 20, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
I was the uncle that got them the most loudest, controversial, most obnoxious toys I can find & drop it on them. Then sit back & watch the chaos or instigate Chow-Yun-Fat Nerf gun fights throughout the entire house with them.

The "battle of 2009" will be the day that Ringo (cat) took about 17 straight shots to the chest. Fucker now launches himself under the coffe table at the sound of a gun being chambered. Forever broken/forever targeted.

Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT
My co-worker almost lost his eye because one day his daughter decided she didn't like wearing pants anymore. He was fighting to put some on her, and she lashed out and managed to dig her finger under his eyeball. The scratch from her fingernail got infected and he ended up having to wear an eyepatch for a while and got nicknamed the office Pirate.

Almost maiming and blinding your dad because you didn't wanna wear pants is definitely a story to tell her boyfriend in the future.

FooF
Mar 26, 2010

Rex-Goliath posted:

yo seriouspost what’s actually involved in doing this? i don’t have kids and won’t have any anytime soon but myself and my three sisters all turned out real well and i couldn’t really point to anything that my parents did that led us to turn out ok vs my friends who i knew as a little kid who were monsters. it’s probably something real obvious that i’ve taken for granted but idk what it is

I can only say what my wife and I do with our three (and they've turned out pretty good) and it's not intentional per se but its not fusing with our kids. Some parents live vicariously through their kids because they're insecure or have regrets, others helicopter because they're afraid and then become co-dependent. Other parents wrap their whole identity around being a parent and then their kids don't see them in any other way, etc. We love our kids but we don't neglect ourselves or make our lives revolve around them. I think that indirectly gives them perspective on where they fit in the picture and act accordingly.

The other thing, which should be obvious but bears mentioning: giving a poo poo. Seriously. My oldest likes to draw so I encourage that and get excited about how cool he can draw a spaceship, city skyline, dragon, whatever. It might not be Picasso but he's gotten pretty good (better than I could do). I see parents all the time neglect their kids' interests and force them into the parent's interests and it makes me shake my head. Dude, your son just made a pinewood derby car that came in second and you won't even watch because you're completely overtaken by your lovely fantasy football team (real story). It's that kind of lack of self-awareness regarding your kid that teaches them that the only way to get your attention is acting out.

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005

Jose Mengelez posted:

spike it like a volleyball.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer

GORILLA BASTARD posted:

I was the uncle that got them the most loudest, controversial, most obnoxious toys I can find & drop it on them. Then sit back & watch the chaos or instigate Chow-Yun-Fat Nerf gun fights throughout the entire house with them.

The "battle of 2009" will be the day that Ringo (cat) took about 17 straight shots to the chest. Fucker now launches himself under the coffe table at the sound of a gun being chambered. Forever broken/forever targeted.

My wife's sister does this to us, always brings the loudest possible toy for every birthday and christmas. Thankfully it's easy take out the batteries and lie to the kid it's broken, auntie really should buy better quality poo poo.

Creamed Cormp
Jan 8, 2011

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Kuato posted:

What happened to your AV? Gotta say your posting brand is in the shitter without it. :colbert:

IIRC I got banned for making fun of antisemites hiding behind anti-zionism so that might have been when I lost my avatar

I didn't even like it that much anyway

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

Hometown Slime Queen posted:

I have no kids and three money.

But the kid of a family friend is extremely outgoing and friendly and has NO concept of stranger danger. I walked into their house and sat down for a drink and she just climbed right the gently caress into my lap despite not knowing who I was, then everyone laughed at me because I froze up and was like 'What the gently caress am I supposed to do with this?'

I gave her a pretzel and she left to go make her barbies fight which is pretty good.

Getting the image of the drawing of that one GBS mod (I cannot for the life of me remember his name) holding a cat out at arms length like he’d never encountered one before

a mysterious cloak
Apr 5, 2003

Leave me alone, dad, I'm with my friends!


Arrhythmia posted:

I work with children and this poo poo is a lot of fun. Almost verbatim quote: "Then, we got to watch Moana, and there was a big fire guy! Then, me and Tim went to Medieval times! I didn't see him for two weeks because he got brain swelling :D :D :D"

Haha, for sure, that random factual stuff kills me.

We were watching some show about Cape Buffalo a few years ago, and through some leap of kid logic he decided that they had Beef Vision as a superpower. If hyenas or something attacked them, they shot steaks out of their eyes as a defensive measure.

Recently he's been sliding over toward me sloooooowly on the couch and maneuvering himself into a headstand right up against me. Sometimes his head gets stuck in the crack, but he gives zero fucks. So it looks like a headless kid with grasshopper-proportioned legs upside down.

phobo
Aug 7, 2008
My 4 year old niece is basically my best friend since all my other friends got married and stuff. We hang out and draw pictures and watch movies and stuff. It's pretty fun.

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004

Nap Ghost
my 18 month old can understand handing her a piece of trash and saying "trash can" and she runs over there and throws it in then laughs and claps at herself. I basically don't have to throw anything away ever again

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer

Demon Of The Fall posted:

my 18 month old can understand handing her a piece of trash and saying "trash can" and she runs over there and throws it in then laughs and claps at herself. I basically don't have to throw anything away ever again

Around age 4 they can sort bio, paper, cardboard, metal, glass and misc into separate containers, a feat that some fuckwit adults say is too hard.

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004

Nap Ghost
My 5 year old started kindergarten and punched a bully in the stomach yesterday, I had to act like I wasn't cool with this but inside I was :dudsmile:

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004

Nap Ghost

DangerDummy! posted:

/\ Well said /\

I really wanted to bang my wife today but the three year old wouldn't leave us alone for ten drat minutes and watch Puppy Dog Pals or whatever. Every time I closed and locked the bedroom door she would come over and start wailing on it and asking us why the door was locked and she wouldn't stop until one of us opened the door. So that was annoying

my body has evolved to where I can cum in like 2 minutes to alleviate the screaming children pounding on the door. gently caress me if I ever have to date again

opie
Nov 28, 2000
Check out my TFLC Excuse Log!
I was at the park and some lady comes up saying "is that your daughter? Did you see that other girl push her?" I said "yeah, she probably had it coming." The lady gave me a disgusted look and walked away. Then I realized she didn't know the girls were sisters and had been fighting all day. They don't hit other kids, only each other.

They are complete opposites so I get the kid who is nerdy and sarcastic and one who is outgoing and sweet, which is cool. But we're not very serious about manners in our house so I'm always worried they're going to sing fart songs when we're out with other families and they'll never get invited anywhere again.

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

Icochet posted:

Around age 4 they can sort bio, paper, cardboard, metal, glass and misc into separate containers, a feat that some fuckwit adults say is too hard.

Yeah, but the adult is saying it's too hard because they've got a lot of poo poo to take care of in their life and its another burden.

The kid is all "All I have to do today is play, separate some trash, and poo poo my pants. And I've got two of those covered already."

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Yeah, but the adult is saying it's too hard because they've got a lot of poo poo to take care of in their life and its another burden.

No it's because they're fuckwits.

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something
Alright then.

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer
No joke my favorite board game when I was a young kid was about how to sort trash and different types of recyclables. I forget what it’s called but I blame Captain Planet

cardiacarrest123
Apr 10, 2016

FooF posted:

I can only say what my wife and I do with our three (and they've turned out pretty good) and it's not intentional per se but its not fusing with our kids. Some parents live vicariously through their kids because they're insecure or have regrets, others helicopter because they're afraid and then become co-dependent. Other parents wrap their whole identity around being a parent and then their kids don't see them in any other way, etc. We love our kids but we don't neglect ourselves or make our lives revolve around them. I think that indirectly gives them perspective on where they fit in the picture and act accordingly.

The other thing, which should be obvious but bears mentioning: giving a poo poo. Seriously. My oldest likes to draw so I encourage that and get excited about how cool he can draw a spaceship, city skyline, dragon, whatever. It might not be Picasso but he's gotten pretty good (better than I could do). I see parents all the time neglect their kids' interests and force them into the parent's interests and it makes me shake my head. Dude, your son just made a pinewood derby car that came in second and you won't even watch because you're completely overtaken by your lovely fantasy football team (real story). It's that kind of lack of self-awareness regarding your kid that teaches them that the only way to get your attention is acting out.

Finding the strength to just encourage and enjoy what your kids seem to enjoy is probably 80% of parenting in my opinion. As a 35 year old man, do I really want to play in the dirt with little toy diggers and excavators? No. But I'll be loving damned if my children grow up viewing me only as a "father" and not also a friend.

I don't have any memories of activities with my father other than yardwork.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer

cardiacarrest123 posted:

Finding the strength to just encourage and enjoy what your kids seem to enjoy is probably 80% of parenting in my opinion. As a 35 year old man, do I really want to play in the dirt with little toy diggers and excavators? No. But I'll be loving damned if my children grow up viewing me only as a "father" and not also a friend.


Exactly. God bless Lego, son usually get's bored before I do.

Laterite
Mar 14, 2007

It's Gutfest '89
Grimey Drawer
My son sings while he's taking a poo poo and it's pretty magnificent.

Two things he's said recently:

"Tired doesn't make you yell!" - Yelled at us before he had to go to bed for the night .

"Police officers are so rude to aliens who are dancing." - You know it, kid.

Crackwhore Barrel
Mar 10, 2012

“It’s a Dalmatian.”
3yo: “NO it’s a polkadog”

I told him to put on his bathing suit and he told me to put on my “mommy suit” because he thought his was called a “baby suit”

I yell and helicopter a lot probably but this kid is quick, curious and interminably clumsy

signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008

i was told my old av was distracting
Children are capable of incredible things

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4KCvrckXiA

Fiddler on the Reef
Apr 29, 2011


Nitewhosaysnee posted:

I yell and helicopter a lot probably but this kid is quick, curious and interminably clumsy

stop him from doing clumsy things and he will remain clumsy. Let him do clumsy things and he will learn how to not be clumsy.

he bolts? you could try yelling a lot, I suppose, but I would be shocked if he ever listens. let him get lost, however, and he will freak and he will stop running.

Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica
My kid had sores all over her turns out she had hand, foot, and mouth disease, looked so painful but she was a trooper

I thought I was in the clear and didn't get it but today I got sores in my mouth lmao gently caress

still love my kid though, I'll just add it to "things I never thought I'd get in my life"

Winifred Madgers
Feb 12, 2002

Demon Of The Fall posted:

My 5 year old started kindergarten and punched a bully in the stomach yesterday, I had to act like I wasn't cool with this but inside I was :dudsmile:

Bullies getting punched is good for everybody. Unfortunately our nearly 6-year-old can be a bully sometimes and we have had a heck of a time, uh, redirecting her assertiveness, but her younger sister is getting better able to defend herself and I think that's helping way more than anything we could do ourselves.

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poorlifedecision
Feb 13, 2012
Lipstick Apathy

Fiddler on the Reef posted:

I don’t think it takes as much effort as he claims. Basically just model the behavior you want to see in your kid while providing gentle guidance and then let the kid take it from there (don’t helicopter). The only real boundaries you need are to not hurt others and don’t break things that aren’t yours.

I guess it can be tough to model the behavior you want to see cuz they can really test your patience, but stay calm, don’t get angry, and try to see the world as your kid sees it and it becomes a lot easier.

Yeah same. Whenever I see my friends with a parenting "technique" or lackthereof that I think is bad or stupid, I just figure that the kid will probably turn out as well as they did and they're my friend so whatever. But like trying to get somewhere without really mapping your way, you'll probably make it but you might take the long way or blow a tire on a lovely road.

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