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A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

in einer anderen welt


Holy loving poo poo, did you guys see the news last night? They cloned dinosaurs. DINO-loving-SAURS. They cloned them and some rear end in a top hat's putting them on an island that he's turning into a theme park.

We have loving DINOSAURS but you have to visit Disneyland Costa Rica or something to see them. Do you think I need a passport for this? Is it Costa Rican property? The dude's American, or maybe British, I dunno.

You just know some dumb kid is gonna die and ruin it for everybody, so hopefully I can get a ticket before that happens.

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Doctor Dogballs
Apr 1, 2007

Drivin' the Fuck Truck from Hand Land to Pound Town without stopping at Suction Station


*gets killed in first postscene*

jyrque
Sep 4, 2011



Bread Liar

*is never mentioned or even acknowledged as one of the millions of victims of urban environmental destruction left behind by superheroes, just like everyone else*

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



A Fancy Hat posted:

Holy loving poo poo, did you guys see the news last night? They cloned dinosaurs. DINO-loving-SAURS. They cloned them and some rear end in a top hat's putting them on an island that he's turning into a theme park.

We have loving DINOSAURS but you have to visit Disneyland Costa Rica or something to see them. Do you think I need a passport for this? Is it Costa Rican property? The dude's American, or maybe British, I dunno.

You just know some dumb kid is gonna die and ruin it for everybody, so hopefully I can get a ticket before that happens.
*leans over, makes gasping gesture with hand in front of mouth* Holy moly...incredible!!

givepatajob
Apr 8, 2003

One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds.



Dinosaur Gum

I blew Harvey Weinstein for THIS????

Soup du Journey
Mar 20, 2006



*starts cheering wildly amidst the bodies and wreckage cause some random loving guy got on top of a pile of junk and yelled something, or maybe cause i heard some soundbite on the radio*

i guess im really still an optimist, even though my family is dead and everything i know is gone and/or on fire

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

The door blew shut but here's the deal
Dreams are lies, it's the dreaming that's real


Nap Ghost

i'm hungry, i wonder what sort of sandwiches we'll get today

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

in einer anderen welt


Mr. Mayor, we seriously need an answer here. A teenage boy hung himself in a jail cell. Another one, according to his own mother, EXPLODED in his bedroom.

My kids are scared to go to sleep, they keep talking about Fred Krueger. We all know the story, no need to rehash that. The man was a monster and got what he deserved. But somebody is out here telling our kids that his ghost is angry. I think we have some kind of copycat killer bullshit and it's freaking kids out to the point they're killing themselves. Or blowing themselves up, apparently.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008





suffers through dinner where friend explains that the big monster that destroyed San Francisco was sent by God to punish them for being gay

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004



Fan of Britches

*shits pants*

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



bradzilla posted:

*shits pants*
*stomping around in big tub full of diarrhea, getting down on that feces like it's wine grapes*

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008



*someone nearby bursts into song*

"gently caress not this again!!"
*grudgingly joins the dance coreography and chorus*

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

WHO LOVES BLOOD SODA?
KEL LOVES BLOOD SODA!


I do. I do. I do-oo.


No, we are not aware of how ground cayenne pepper wound up in Mr. Dunmeyer's shrimp entree after he alerted us of his allergy. We are deeply and profoundly sorry for the physical and psychological damage that he or his loved ones might have suffered as a result of our oversight. The chef involved in making the dish was fired. We are unable to comment further on this case due to an ongoing police investigation and a wrongful termination suit.

We've seen business decline dramatically since this incident was picked up by the San Francisco Chronicle and, given the substantial settlement that we've made with Mr. Dunmeyer and his family, are no longer able to keep our doors open. We thank the San Francisco community for their support over the last 10 years.

Our last day of operation will be August 10th.

QuoProQuid fucked around with this message at Aug 10, 2018 around 13:04

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008



*sees handsome man in wicked cool leather jacket walking in slow motion while a kick-rear end song plays*

"What an rear end in a top hat.."

Perry Mason Jar
Feb 23, 2006

I was warned


*sidles up to the bar*

one beer please

Perry Mason Jar fucked around with this message at Aug 10, 2018 around 13:18

BlockChainNetflix
Sep 2, 2011


*gets blown into space and cut in half by a massive space propeller*

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

in einer anderen welt


Mr. Smith, I really have to apologize, some idiot held our plane up on the tarmac for 90 minutes. He just ran out there, screaming, holding a bunch of roses. I think his ex-girlfriend was on the plane because this woman starting yelling when she saw him.

It was a whole big thing, she got off the plane and they started kissing or something, but then we couldn't move. Security issues, you know?

Oh, so you went with another candidate for the job? No... I uh... I understand. I mean it's a great job, lots of interest. But you couldn't just interview me at a later date? No I get it, I uh.... I guess I'll just fly home. You have a great day and maybe uh.... maybe one day we'll get to work together. Thanks....

OxMan
May 13, 2006

COME SEE
GRAVE DIGGER
LIVE AT MONSTER TRUCK JAM 2KXX




Eeeeyyyyyy I'm walkin' heah!

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010



*pulls out this dick at a high school basketball game where one player actually turns into a werewolf*

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges


*sips coffee in back of coffee shop*

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008



*voted against all the dystopian stuff and is royally pissed off*

flakeloaf
Feb 26, 2003

Still better than android clock



Mozi posted:

i'm hungry, i wonder what sort of sandwiches we'll get today

You do not, your grocery bag has a four-foot stick of french bread sticking out of it.

Torquemada
Oct 21, 2010

Unexpected.


*is a Hassidic Jew cheering wildly for the Ghostbusters *

spank my snatch
Jun 4, 2009



*is Donald Sutherland or Mary Tyler Moore or something*

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges


*died years before the movie took place*

SPACE HOMOS
Jan 12, 2005



Has my car stereo stolen from a gang that somehow has an AI driven nuclear armed drone.

Gay Weed Dad
Jul 12, 2016

cool dude, flyin' high


"Hey everyone I'm in that movie "Ordinary People", anyone seen my brother!?"

nextlevelstart
Feb 26, 2015


Where's my drat tools

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006
leading helpless teens astray

Ghosts are real? Actually really real, and there's proof and everything?? That means the afterlife is real??? But you stay where you are when you die???? I'm going to travel to a beautiful tropical beach and kill myself! No wait, I'm going to sell people travel packages to beautiful tropical beaches where they can kill themselves. Death doesn't mean anything anymore!

my bat mitzvah ROCKED
Mar 13, 2002

MY AV IS VERY COOL OP, NOT GETTING ANOTHER

*throws dog in a river as the Hulkster cruises by on his hog*

flakeloaf
Feb 26, 2003

Still better than android clock



nextlevelstart posted:

Where's my drat tools

We're going to Aruba

Fried Watermelon
Dec 29, 2008


get beefy bitch


That fucker keeps showing up late to work every single day.

The first few times I let it slide, even covered for him a few times. I remember when I was young and partied but I got it out of my system before I was 30!

gently caress now he's got some poo poo on him that the CIA or FBI is coming in and asking questions. I pointed out his desk but OF COURSE he's not here yet.

Oh wait there he is, what the gently caress is he doing? Does he think people don't see him crouching under his desk? Does he think he's being sneaky like a loving ninja?

Yeah idiot go into the room with no exit. Bet you'd know that if you got to work on time and tried to make an effort to get to know any of us. Brenda just had her retirement party in there yesterday.

Looks like the FBI guys found him.

Hope he gets fired for this.

gently caress you Thomas Anderson

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie


I was just set to close my shawarma shop because of, you know, the loving alien invasion, when these goofy looking freaks show up and want in. Like, there are ambulances and poo poo buzzing by every second, but sure, come on in and have a bite.

loving NYC.

Testikles
Feb 21, 2009


There goes superman again. Better get in the basement.

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.


OH! Spider-Man just stole that dude's pizza!

mazzi Chart Czar
Sep 24, 2005

Idiot. Extremely deranged. Ignore me.

Rudabega. Rudabega. Rudabega.
*Is killed when the [superhero crashes /bomb goes off/natural disaster hits] into my [office building/street corner/car/sex dungeon]*

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



*permanently disfigured and unable to work as direct result of protagonist's hijinks*

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008



Grimey Drawer

ElectricSheep posted:

OH! Spider-Man just stole that dude's pizza!

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


crimson carrots! my pug and my cat are gone, how will my farm function without them??

i hope they return after the winter with wives and children

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Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Unnnnngh


Dinosaur Gum

"I've got a lock! FOX TWO!"

*gets shot to pieces by aliens*

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