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Over There
Jun 28, 2013



Goes into a Starbucks and orders a latte. Gives cashier $5 and gets 2 cent back extra in change.

Start to giggle, looking at the cashier "A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one"

Shyly runs out of the store while nobody pays any mind.

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Jawdins
Sep 9, 2001



*gets into fights*
STOP HOLDING ME BACK LIKE OBI WAN DID

LOVE LOVE SKELETON
Nov 11, 2007

earth people i was born on jupiter

sitting alone in the dark bathroom frantically scrubbing, saying “now this is pod racing...”

Over There
Jun 28, 2013



Get to work and theres a poll on the front page asking who is the best cat. Garfield was the clear winner.

Get an email from a coworker saying the poll is rigged, because her cat didn't win and send a bunch of cute pictures of her cat.

Reply: "This is outrageous, this is unfair"

She laughs and said haha yeah its outrageous!

Over There
Jun 28, 2013



Get an email from my manager titled "For my ladies today" which has an inspirational meme talking about being yourself and being queen.

Reply: "Not just the women, but the men and children too."

No reply back.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

The door blew shut but here's the deal
Dreams are lies, it's the dreaming that's real


Nap Ghost

"Sir, can you please sign this bill of lading?"

"I will sign no treaty, Senator. My fate will be no different to that of our people."

Drunk Nerds
Jan 25, 2011

Still shitposting softly

Fun Shoe

Important Job interview, the CEO asks me, "where do you see yourself in five years?"

MEEESA BE THE LAST PERSON YOU HEAR AT THE END OF RETURN OF THE JEDI!

Got the job

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

The door blew shut but here's the deal
Dreams are lies, it's the dreaming that's real


Nap Ghost

*fireman wrenches open mangled car door with the Jaws of Life, I'm bleeding out inside*

'my god... what happened here?'

'Mesa cause one, two-y little bitty axadentes, huh? Yud say boom de gasser, den crashin der bosses heyblibber, den banished.'

Over There
Jun 28, 2013



Coworker can't find email so he starts bitching. He says that he just cleared out his inbox but it should be in the deleted folder.

reply: "Impossible. The archives must be incomplete"

He says I'm right, it says that it hasn't finished indexing yet and thanks me.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



When a telemarketer calls my phone.

"You LOSE, general Marketer!!!"

*throws phone out the window*

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

sitting alone in the dark bathroom frantically scrubbing, saying “now this is pod racing...”

Over There
Jun 28, 2013



Answer every phone call "Hello There"

Marlboro for Cats
Apr 14, 2018

by FactsAreUseless


"I hate getting sand in my stinkyhole." -- Anakin Skywalker

I Said No
May 21, 2007



Over There posted:

Goes into a Starbucks and orders a latte. Gives cashier $5 and gets 2 cent back extra in change.

Start to giggle, looking at the cashier "A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one"

Shyly runs out of the store while nobody pays any mind.

ironic

Over There
Jun 28, 2013



Been in a relationship for about 3 years now. Just found out that they've been cheating on me for the past 2. Finally confront them with it.

"Its over, I have the high ground"

start crying.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



Marlboro for Cats posted:

"I hate getting sand in my stinkyhole." -- Anakin Skywalker
"I made menstrual blood cookies! I am not entirely happy with how they turned out, so I am going to experiment with some recipes throughout the rest of this month so I can try for something great next cycle. This recipe was far too floury."
-- Anakin Skywalker

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie


Girlfriend wants to take the relationship further: "Did I ever tell you of the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



Universe Master posted:

Girlfriend wants to take the relationship further: "Did I ever tell you of the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"

girlfriend: It's treason then.

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014



A friend of a friend invites me to a party, and of course people start arguing about politics. When tensions are high, I proclaim, 'We must keep our faith in the Republic. The day we stop believing democracy can work is the day we lose it', and everyone claps.

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie


Physics professor explaining about Schrodinger's cat

Me: "Only a sith deals in absolutes"

Over There
Jun 28, 2013



Me thinking about posting this thread

"Don't try it"

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



me getting out of bed in the morning every single day

givepatajob
Apr 8, 2003

One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds.



Dinosaur Gum

Waiting for silence in the office...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHCyDxxXog4

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

500 GOOD DOGS/COMFY FLEECE SWEATER ALT ACCOUNT

Buglord

Hell Yeah posted:

me getting out of bed in the morning every single day



ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



What if people start countering you back with spaceballs quotes?

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



Over There posted:

Answer every phone call "Hello There"

“It’s, jammed!”

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Yams Fan

5

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

The door blew shut but here's the deal
Dreams are lies, it's the dreaming that's real


Nap Ghost

"Hey Mozi, can you bring the pizza to game night this time?"

"It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to this calling. I love democracy. I love the Republic. Once this crisis has abated, I will lay down the powers you have given me!"

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!


Pillbug

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

What if people start countering you back with spaceballs quotes?
Copier jams

"gently caress! Even in the future nothing works."

Over There
Jun 28, 2013




I love democracy

COMRADES
Apr 3, 2017

MUST

CRUSH

CAPAATAALEISM



Mozi posted:

*fireman wrenches open mangled car door with the Jaws of Life, I'm bleeding out inside*

'my god... what happened here?'

'Mesa cause one, two-y little bitty axadentes, huh? Yud say boom de gasser, den crashin der bosses heyblibber, den banished.'

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



ArbitraryC posted:

Copier jams

"gently caress! Even in the future nothing works."

*new employee walks up to the water cooler in a flannel shirt*

“He’s gone... plaid!”

ArchNemesis
Jun 27, 2007

We're all God, Starbuck.

College Slice

what's the matter colonel sandurz? chicken?

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



ArchNemesis posted:

what's the matter colonel sandurz? chicken?
shes gone from suck to blow!

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


*super fat naked guy rides by on a bicycle*

BARF.

SciFiDownBeat
Jun 19, 2012
HAIKOOLIGAN


Me playing as Rome in civ 5 and conquering all the independent city states

"I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new Empire"

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008



*in wake of Charlottesville protest*

"There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere."

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008



Working in a music store: a guy comes in with his kid and wants to buy him a full drum kit. I look at the kid with contempt and say "Wesa give yousa una bongo. "

CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013



*quitting my job*

Time to abandon ship! Heh heh heh *cough cough wughh*

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SciFiDownBeat
Jun 19, 2012
HAIKOOLIGAN


Interviewing the latest candidate for a senior position, but he looks to be in his twenties

"I expected someone of your reputation to be a little... older."

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