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Last Chance
Dec 31, 2004



while loudly evacuating my bowels, I thoughtfully exclaim So this is how liberty dies . . . with thunderous applause

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General Dog
Apr 26, 2008



*pouts sensually*

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



*in a nightclub dancing*
"I’ll try spinning. That’s a good trick!"

SciFiDownBeat
Jun 19, 2012


Looking at this thread

"Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!"

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Yams Fan

(to pack of oreos that are on sale while I'm trying to cut back on junkfood) "you are in my very soul... tormenting me"

Adar
Jul 27, 2001

by R. Guyovich


LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

sitting alone in the dark bathroom frantically scrubbing, saying “now this is pod racing...”

sitting alone in the dark bathroom frantically putting a tide pod in my mouth, saying "now this is pod racing..."

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


In response to every query:
Roger Roger

EdwardSwifferhands
Apr 27, 2008

I will probably lick whatever you put in front of me.

At the local pond with my son for his first fishing derby. He reels in a massive bluegill.

I look around nervously, "There's always a bigger fish".

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


"You are fired, Colonel Cancer"
BEEP BOOP DWOOOIEEE

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014

I am your Redeemer! It is by my hand that you arise from the ashes of this world!

Me, when my boyfriend doesn’t use enough lube before ramming his cock into my rear end:

“I hate it when he does that.”

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.


I walked into a gun store the other day and a clerk greeted me cheerfully from behind the counter.

"Good morning sir! Can I help you with anything?"

I strode across the room with quiet, confident purpose until I was directly across from him. I placed one hand upon the warm walnut countertop and waved my other hand once, close to the front of his face, as if to banish a thought from his mind.

"You don't want to sell me deathsticks."

he called me a liberal enjoyable human being and told me to get out

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Maybe you could buy some brown paper bags and then wear the bags on your head and hide your face and then people will ask 'why are you wearing that bag on your head, bag-head?!' and you will have to tell them it's because you have an ugly face!! What THEN buddy!!

Ramrod XTreme

Nazi's bust into atic.

"Annie?!"

EdwardSwifferhands
Apr 27, 2008

I will probably lick whatever you put in front of me.

The household cat jumps on the end table and smooshes its butthole along the rim of my coffee cup like a street performer playing water glasses.

We lock eyes.

Me: "There's gonna be a Stare War"

Bortus
Feb 25, 2005



Buglord

After a massive school shooting

“He even killed the younglings!”

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

When chatting up two ladies at the bar

"Careful you two, he is a big"

*points to crotch*

SciFiDownBeat
Jun 19, 2012


Kuato posted:

After a massive college party

“He even killed the Yuengling!”

EdwardSwifferhands
Apr 27, 2008

I will probably lick whatever you put in front of me.

I've been filling the neighbor lady with beans and cabbage for two days. I'm lying in bed, watching her disrobe slowly. I'm sweating bullets. My wife could be home any moment but I need this so bad. She climbs on top of me ascending my soft doughy peaks and cradles my head between her knees. I can hear my heart beating, my mind is racing at a fever pitch. My manhood twitches, achieving a nearly minute long sustained semi which is the hardest I've been in years.

"Hit the nose!" I called out, unable to keep myself from laughing.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



*getting ready to open Best Buy for the boxing day sale*

"That is the sound of a thousand terrible things headed this way."

numberoneposter fucked around with this message at Aug 10, 2018 around 21:00

Over There
Jun 28, 2013



Opens D&D

"Oh I'm not brave enough for politics"

504
Feb 2, 2016
RACIST, SEXIST, ABLEIST AND UNFUNNY THREAD-SHITTING DICKHEAD WHO LIKES TO TALK ABOUT WEIRD RAPE FANTASIES OFTEN

CHECK OUT THIS RAP SHEET AND THEN PLEASE CHAIN PROBE


Drunk Nerds posted:

Important Job interview, the CEO asks me, "where do you see yourself in five years?"

MEEESA BE THE LAST PERSON YOU HEAR AT THE END OF RETURN OF THE JEDI!

Got the job

Gets immediately fired when the boss learns your mistake.

Backweb
Feb 14, 2009



"At last we will reveal ourselves" - every time I disrobe and do the helicopter dick to my gf

But like, no joke. I unironically quote the PT with my stupid group of stupid idiot friends way too much. Like, nearly every day there's some PT-based joke we make to each other.

504
Feb 2, 2016
RACIST, SEXIST, ABLEIST AND UNFUNNY THREAD-SHITTING DICKHEAD WHO LIKES TO TALK ABOUT WEIRD RAPE FANTASIES OFTEN

CHECK OUT THIS RAP SHEET AND THEN PLEASE CHAIN PROBE


Looks at a map of Israel.


Wipe them out. All of them.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


i went to a bar after bein at the beach and i was shakin sand off my birkenstocks and im like "ugh i don't like sand"

this girl who looked like jim from the office only short and chubby but with the exact same hair goes "it's rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere" and she smiled at me and goes "hi i'm annie, you wanna get out of here?"

i said "uhh no im a senator" and tried to head to the bathroom

and she looked right into the camera and made this stupid smug face

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless


Young Orc

When im watching my camgirls and donate $5 and say "execute order 69"

Weener Beater
May 4, 2010


Big Beef City posted:

Nazi's bust into atic.

"Annie?!"

5

Over There
Jun 28, 2013



Big Beef City posted:

Nazi's bust into atic.

"Annie?!"

Weener Beater
May 4, 2010


I'm with my buddies in a bar and I have to take a massive poo poo. But I am afraid to go into the bathroom by myself, I plead with my bros,

"I can’t take a Dook alone! I need you!"

gbs but from 2004
Oct 24, 2004

wow u rude pig


gas this thread and publicly shame people who quote star wars prequels imho

Weener Beater
May 4, 2010


EdwardSwifferhands posted:

I've been filling the neighbor lady with beans and cabbage for two days. I'm lying in bed, watching her disrobe slowly. I'm sweating bullets. My wife could be home any moment but I need this so bad. She climbs on top of me ascending my soft doughy peaks and cradles my head between her knees. I can hear my heart beating, my mind is racing at a fever pitch. My manhood twitches, achieving a nearly minute long sustained semi which is the hardest I've been in years.
Just being around her again is… intoxicating.

fixed that for you

Tetracube
Feb 12, 2014

I AM THE HARDEST MOTHERFUCKING POSTER

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

When im watching my camgirls and donate $5 and say "execute order 69"

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It is time for your viscera to see the light of day!

When the clone wars have begun:

"Begun, the clone wars have."

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



gbs but from 2004 posted:

gas this thread and publicly shame people who quote star wars prequels imho

No you do the think from a clockwork orange and pry their eyelids open and make them watch all the star treks and if they don’t repent you make them watch the one season of sliders and the pilot on loop until they break.

Marlboro for Cats
Apr 14, 2018

by FactsAreUseless


"Mankind is divided into rich and poor, into property owners and exploited; and to abstract oneself from this fundamental division, and from the antagonism between poor and rich, means abstracting oneself from fundamental facts." -- Chewbacca, 1969 Interview with the Wookie

Over There
Jun 28, 2013



So that's what he was saying this whole time

Backweb
Feb 14, 2009



Marlboro for Cats posted:

"Mankind is divided into rich and poor, into property owners and exploited; and to abstract oneself from this fundamental division, and from the antagonism between poor and rich, means abstracting oneself from fundamental facts." -- Chewbacca, 1969 Interview with the Wookie

Excuse me. This is a thread for the PREQUEL quotes. Please try to stay on topic. JEEZ.






"Boba, is your father home?"

I use that one every day too.

SciFiDownBeat
Jun 19, 2012


When I'm getting lunch

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008



Grimey Drawer

“Power! Unlimited power!” I scream as I pump gas into my Fiat Punto

Blast of Confetti
Apr 21, 2008

Wave your hands in the air!


from my point of view the op is actually good

BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012

POTTY TIME


Lipstick Apathy

*having gay wrestle sex*

"it is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Force… but by our skills with a lightsaber."

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Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004



Them: You can't cross this gorge, the bridge is out.

Me: https://i.imgur.com/IV3aTZW.mp4

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