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My 17-year-old cousin was found shot dead in his truck. The windows were rolled up, his hands were folded in his lap, and the gun was by the passenger door. It was ruled a suicide.
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Aug 16, 2018 07:54
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sandwiches_and_ham posted:... my dog got into a fight with a pelican... Who won? Fight details please.
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Aug 16, 2018 18:04
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Khazar-khum posted:My 17-year-old cousin was found shot dead in his truck. The windows were rolled up, his hands were folded in his lap, and the gun was by the passenger door. It was ruled a suicide. Did he ever work on the Clinton campaign, or with the Clinton foundation?
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Aug 16, 2018 18:38
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My grandpappy was crazy. He was snowmobiling drunk in the Colorado wilderness one day when he hit a tree. Had to be airlifted out of there. He went into a coma for a while, and came out of it insane with rage. My family tried for a while to help him, but eventually he ended up burning down his cabin with himself inside of it. He called 911 to tell them what he was doing, started the place up on fire, then waited by the window with his rifle for the cops to show up. When one of them did he said not to move or he would shoot. The cop waited until he passed out, then he kicked the door down and dragged him out alive. He died alone and unloved in a home somewhere, after drinking and smoking himself to death. The insurance company ended up paying half of the policy on the cabin to my grandma, and that's why my mom doesn't have any pictures of herself as a child.
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Aug 16, 2018 19:11
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My maternal grandma (mom's mom) had completely separate bouts of cancer in each tit. Two bouts of brain cancer, one on each side. Lung cancer. And then finally died to heart cancer last year. So Im pretty sure I'll die of liver failure way before cancer ever gets me.
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Aug 16, 2018 19:22
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When the USSR collapsed, my dad *somehow* managed to finagle a bunch of money out of the chaos. It wasn't Russian Oligarchy type money but it was at least few hundred thousand Deutsche-marks worth. He entrusted my god-mother with investing the money for us and their family since at the time he basically knew poo poo all about how things worked in the West. She purchased a bunch of properties throughout Europe, and everyone was fine. Until one day my dad realized oh poo poo it's just her name on all the documents. Yeah turns out she just in turn stole that money from him and bought everything in her name and then when we realized she peace'd out on us and presumably her other family as well and we lost contact. He found her recently and thought about suing but basically she is broke and living in some lovely condo in Bulgaria so there's nothing to even go after and not worth it. I wonder what she ended up doing with all that, though. My grandmother on my mom's side was part of some noble elite family and the Communists took her family's estates/factories/etc when they came to power in the 40s. e: quote:A 2009 poll conducted by the Pew Global Attitudes Project found that one-in-nine Bulgarians believe ordinary people are better off as a result of the transition to capitalism. lol COMRADES fucked around with this message at 19:39 on Aug 16, 2018 |
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Aug 16, 2018 19:31
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My great uncle on my dad's side was a famous Scottish football player in the 1860s. He died really young of bone cancer. On my mom's side we are related to King John of England. (The bad king in Robbin Hood). Apparently we were one of his bastards and we had some royal influence and used it to get land in the colonies. That's also why my name is John, my mom named me after her grandfather. But it turns out that family kept naming their sons John after their royal liniege.
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Aug 16, 2018 19:32
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Are you gonna continue the tradition
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Aug 16, 2018 19:38
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Probably not. If I have kids I'll be naming them after my grand parents on my dad's side. They where the good grandparents. But at this rate I probably won't have kids.
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Aug 16, 2018 19:47
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Sponge Baathist posted:My grandpa had to deal with the DMV listing him as a female on his license. He had to get a doctor's note saying he was male. While at the DMV he offered to drop trou and prove he was male. Well, he certainly DRIVES like a woman.
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Aug 16, 2018 19:57
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Mappo posted:Probably not. If I have kids I'll be naming them after my grand parents on my dad's side. They where the good grandparents. But at this rate I probably won't have kids. r u an incel? lol
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Aug 16, 2018 20:02
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My middle name is my maternal grandpa's name. He was a horrible person that died a premature death to the relief of everybody that knew him. For some reason my mom used his name for my middle name, and her brother (whom was brutalized the worst) named his first born son after him. Tradition sucks. Luckily the prick died before I was born. I'm glad to have never known him.
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Aug 16, 2018 20:15
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Nooner posted:r u an incel? lol Nooner why don’t you SHIFT over to using capital letters hahaha
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Aug 16, 2018 20:25
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This is a cool thread, some insane stuff in here. I have to think about which weird thing to post from mine; unfortunately I have a shitload to choose from.
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Aug 16, 2018 20:30
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My dad's first cousin used to throw knives at his bedroom furniture and light his hand on fire using this trick. His son is really muscular and has been ever since he was a young child - according to family lore, his fourth-grade progress report says "His parents claim they do not give him steroids." The cousin's grandson (muscle-man's nephew) can squeeze you so hard it hurts and he's five. I'm pretty sure the circus strongman genes are from either the cousin's dad or the cousin's wife because nobody else on Dad's side has them. We just got "good at golfing" genes which are ... considerably less cool.
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Aug 16, 2018 20:42
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My dad’s dad had a secret family that included an uncle I’ve never met. My grandmother knew about them all along but just sort of shrugged and carried on. The rest of the family only learned about it after he died in the mid 90s and I personally wasn’t told about it until much later (I’m not very close to my family)
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Aug 16, 2018 20:53
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If my family elders are to be believed, my great-great grandfather was one of the shooters in the Ballycohey ambush in 1868, where the two bailiffs and another policeman were killed, but the shithead landlord unfortunately survived despite being wounded. Motherfucker claimed the rights to all crops grown on his land, evicting tenants who refused such changes to the leases, and had a habit of beating/killing family members of tenants he argued with (and getting away with it).
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Aug 16, 2018 21:09
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Pththya-lyi posted:My dad's first cousin used to throw knives at his bedroom furniture and light his hand on fire using this trick. His son is really muscular and has been ever since he was a young child - according to family lore, his fourth-grade progress report says "His parents claim they do not give him steroids." The cousin's grandson (muscle-man's nephew) can squeeze you so hard it hurts and he's five. I'm pretty sure the circus strongman genes are from either the cousin's dad or the cousin's wife because nobody else on Dad's side has them. We just got "good at golfing" genes which are ... considerably less cool. He sound like he's got that weird myostatin gene disorder that makes Belgian Blue cows gigantic.
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Aug 16, 2018 23:14
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I got a gay uncle that hit on my brother and sort of hit on me. He justified it referencing the romans did it. My brother doesn’t talk to him. I still do cause ah well he’s my moms only brother and it is what it is. He also took care of my Alzheimer’s-ridden grandmother for about 8 years in an isolated rural area.
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Aug 17, 2018 20:49
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BigBadSteve posted:Who won? Fight details please. the dog was a stupid cavalier king charles spaniel. one day in about 1988 he was wandering around a tidal lagoon and spotted a giant pelican, which he decided to approach and start yapping at. needless to say, the pelican wasn't having any of that poo poo, and gave pursuit with its giant ballsack-beak flapping around everywhere. my dog turned chickenshit and ran for cover. that was the end of that.
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Aug 18, 2018 02:45
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on an unrelated note, does anybody suspect that Richard Kind may have some pelican ancestry? he looks like he could scoop up a whole school of live herring in that giant catcher's mitt of a mouth
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Aug 18, 2018 02:51
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Vato posted:I bet someone on here is a Mayflower descendant. There's a name for those types, but I can't recall it just now. Bet someone round here is, though. Family drama story- My grandmother has been into geneaology her entire adult life. She even went back into my mom's family as much as she could after she and my dad got married, it was a big passion for her. She's been in the Mayflower Society and Daughters of the American Revolution my entire life and I'm sure much longer. A few years back we got her that Ancestry or 23andMe or whatever thing so she could see the genetic breakdown and... ...no English. Like 2%, the same amount of "Northern Africa." There was a shitload of unaccounted for Italian ancestry. Her connection back to England was though her dad's family. Nobody said it but her dad was definitely not her dad. She doesn't look like he did at all (her brother did though) so I suppose it falls into place. After my grandfather passed I found out I have a whole shitload of Jewish family living in the Northeast that has nothing to do with my branch of the family because my grandpa and his brother converted when they married Catholics. That kind of pissed me off.
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Aug 18, 2018 03:04
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Reminds me of a story where a goon's grandmother was a rabid anti-semite and offed herself when some DNA ancestry service revealed her as having some jewish ancestry. My uncle is an extremely amateur genealogist and managed to record our peasant blood back to the late 18th century. He made a website for it to show his family. He's extremely interested in 23andMe after I explained it to him. Posting his grandkid's rights away to GSK, but he gets to make a nice chart I suppose. 
School Nickname fucked around with this message at 03:26 on Aug 18, 2018 |
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Aug 18, 2018 03:23
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My racist side of the family did some digging and found out that we were "Black Cherokee". After touting their proud Native American heritage for a few months, someone sat them down and explained exactly what that meant. There was a lot of crying involved.
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Aug 18, 2018 05:06
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What does it mean?
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Aug 18, 2018 06:40
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Automatic Retard posted:What does it mean? 100% of the first word 0% of the second
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Aug 18, 2018 06:45
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lol
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Aug 18, 2018 06:48
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A_Bug_That_Thinks posted:Did he ever work on the Clinton campaign, or with the Clinton foundation? Hmmm. Don't think so, but you never know. That whole part of the family is gone now. Well, except for my namesake, who's in jail.
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Aug 18, 2018 09:07
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Around a year before my dad passed away, I learned from my aunt that I had a sister I didn't know about, from one of my dad's previous relationships before my mom. She found my aunt, and wanted to try to reconnect with my dad, so my aunt reached out to me since I was taking care of him at the time. That was a fun fuckin' call to take at work I had a bunch of boring detail here but it comes down to: she was loving crazy and ruined the last few months I had with my dad, and I haven't spoken with her since and just thinking of her makes me angry Family, am I right? v  v
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Aug 18, 2018 10:57
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My maternal grandmother was institutionalized in an insane asylum for a bit. My mother remembers visiting her and she was literally in a padded room that was opened by a guard with a big old key. She had electric shock therapy and returned home. My grandfather traded a shotgun for some paint work to be done. He also had a revolver that he bought and we found after he passed. My mother told me to deal with it. That was a fun thing to deal with - an unregistered handgun in LA and go thru the hoops of getting it “legal”. Oh and my paternal grandparents disowned my aunt because she married a mailman instead of an heir to the xerox family fortune.
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Aug 18, 2018 13:15
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lol that California soyboys think that Grandpa owning a gun is a "weird tale"
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Aug 18, 2018 13:20
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It was more him trading one for work and us finding a revolver in a file cabinet. But hey, I got myself a never fired revolver out of it. He also was an engineer who worked on secret government stuff and was involved in the Apollo missions. Most of what he did is still classified and my grandmother never knew all the details. He developed radar stuff during the Vietnam war and is listed in the “who’s who” of inventors. He also escaped the Armenian genocide in Turkey by being smuggled out dressed as a girl and landed in the states. That’s not super weird though. I do have an odd bachelor uncle who never left home and spends his time in casinos.
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Aug 18, 2018 13:28
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back in the good old days everyone bartered for services when my grandpa got sick he traded the doctor 2 chickens for treatment nowdays if you get sick the doctor wants 90000 dollars maybe the old ways weren't so bad after all
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Aug 18, 2018 13:36
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yippeekiyaymf posted:That’s not super weird though. I do have an odd bachelor uncle who never left home and spends his time in casinos. he didn't spend much time in vegas a little while ago, did he?
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Aug 18, 2018 13:48
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Ein cooler Typ posted:back in the good old days everyone bartered for services i went to the doctor and i said doc i got chicken pox - and here's the chicken that done done it! the doctor looks at me and says son that looks like a tasty bird, let's make a deal. let's just say that justice... was served
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Aug 18, 2018 13:50
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Mozi posted:i went to the doctor and i said doc i got chicken pox - and here's the chicken that done done it! the doctor looks at me and says son that looks like a tasty bird, let's make a deal. let's just say that justice... was served Lol
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Aug 18, 2018 16:14
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My mother went to college with Viggo Mortensen and they were in at least one play together. She showed me the playbill. According to a few of her other college friends, he was romantically pursuing her but she’d just started hanging out with my father and chose him instead. Good job, mom. Good job.
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Aug 20, 2018 19:06
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Not my family but gossip: the current sole heir to one of the big real estate groups of Singapore is such a gently caress up their father at 60+ is having another child with another woman with his wifes approval so they can leave the new child the business and money.
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Aug 20, 2018 19:10
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Ein cooler Typ posted:back in the good old days everyone bartered for services
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Aug 20, 2018 19:21
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Barudak posted:Not my family but gossip: the current sole heir to one of the big real estate groups of Singapore is such a gently caress up their father at 60+ is having another child with another woman with his wifes approval so they can leave the new child the business and money. A powerful own if true
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Aug 20, 2018 19:52
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