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 I have come to this place...to this time...to right a wrong most grievous. I come from a time in the distant future, a time when the culinary and gastronomic arts have been forbidden, where the vast dazzling galaxy of cookery has been replaced by a dour array of sustenance pills. Flavorless pills for a flavorless society, yet there are some who yet pass down the ancient ways in secret, Master to Pupil, to keep the burning flame of knowledge alive. In a last desperate attempt to change the grimdark future, our greatest minds conspired to send me here, to this competition - for though we know not how, it shall prove decisive, rippling through the ages for good or ill. I am Meleager, Chef Omirid, Spicer425*, and I carry the hopes and dreams of the future in my cooking.
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Aug 19, 2018 00:19
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(A very short female wearing a brown and green cloak steps forward, smiling) My name is Mari, and it's a pleasure to meet you all! I live deep in the woods, in a small community called Fairyfield. We mostly keep to ourselves. I don't really get out all that much, so I'm looking forward to meeting new types of people who I wouldn't ordinarily get to meet. I think that I'm going to be out of my league here? Everyone here seems so accomplished, all I really do is cook for my family and friends at home. I'm here because I made some Fairy Fortune Cookies, and mine said that I was destined to join this competition. I'm kind of surprised to have made it here, but look forward to giving this a try. I'm not really sure if I have a chance of winning, but I'm ok with that. I'm here to make friends  I mostly stick to fairy cuisine - it's not all just sweets and desserts, though! I'm hoping to do my people proud and hope that I can show the world that we're more than just Sprite and Pixie Stix. Murmur Twin fucked around with this message at 21:26 on Aug 19, 2018 |
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Aug 19, 2018 02:14
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Hello. I cook things. It is my entire reason for being. I hope I can show everyone skill.
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Aug 19, 2018 02:55
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An impossibly huge slab of a man is the next to step forward. His muscles bulge under his tank top as he talks, even moreso when he begins shouting (which is often). The name... is EAT PUNCHBEEF! And I'm going to say it straight out: everyone else's food is WEAK! And I mean that in the LITERAL SENSE OF THE WORD NOT AS A WAY TO IMPLY THAT IT ISN'T ANY GOOD BECAUSE MY COMPETITORS ARE ALL VERY SKILLED. It lacks MUSCLE! It lacks METAPHORICAL GRIT! And in the culinary world, I am the STRONGEST THERE IS! Strong enough to bring you the MOST POWERFUL FLAVORS THERE ARE! And I DO NOT mean that in the Guy Fieri Dark Culinary Arts sense! Guy Fieri was WEAK! He was not STRONG ENOUGH to HANDLE the flavor! He took the COWARDLY SHORTCUT! ALSO! I would like to EXPRESS what an HONOR IT IS to meet you, Mr. Alton Brown SIR! You have been a REAL INSPIRATION to me! I look forward to SERVING on the COUNCIL with you!
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Aug 19, 2018 05:36
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Time itself bends. There was no rant. There was no denial of the rant. There was no denial of the denial of the rant. So on, until only one thing remains. He stands four, five, no six feet tall with silver hair, or perhaps brown, and eyes like black pits from which no light escapes. Greetings. They call this body Prawn Po'Boy. I'll return it after. Cooking. Hm. I suppose I've seen stranger. Oh, I hope this one can withstand the experiment. Let's have fun.
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Aug 19, 2018 05:59
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"The culinary arts, as I see it , are the truest expression of freedom." A slender, androgynous figure, seemingly made of quicksilver is the next contestant into the spotlight. "Some years ago I was summoned forth to serve as commis to an aging Chef whose hands had finally started to feel the ravages of time. She named me Liquid Caramel, for the way my form flows. I rather liked that. What she taught me proved to be far more than simple technique, but a philosophy on the proper use of culinary skill that I had never considered." It gestures idly to the Kitchen Stadium. "In no other arena can we truly show that we have stepped beyond the bindings of staid menus and tired formulas, and sought to bring something wholly new and joyous into the world for others to experience. I look forward to sharing this freedom with my esteemed competitors, and letting both them and the Council see that only a cuisine that has the courage to shed the shrouds of history and truly let what is within shine can truly reign supreme."
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Aug 19, 2018 07:18
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The Lord of Hats posted:An impossibly huge slab of a man is the next to step forward. His muscles bulge under his tank top as he talks, even moreso when he begins shouting (which is often). Mari stares in awe, having never seen someone that large or that loud before.
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Aug 19, 2018 21:29
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A man steps forward wearing the typical robes of a member of the Tower of the Sears, wielding an Anova like a magic wand. You all may be familiar with members of my order. Masters of the Arts who spend their lives studying the ways of caramelization, crusts, and the locking in of flavor. Those whose pan drippings and fonds are treasured by Saucerors the world over. But those of the Tower of the Sears rely on one person to properly cook their foods to the ideal temperature before searing: me, the Thermal Immersion Circulator Master. I do not pursue knowledge or power or fame, I pursue perfection in the Culinary Arts. Nothing less. And if I should happen to meet a nice young woman and we hit it off, that would be nice too. A guy can dream, can't he?
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Aug 20, 2018 00:44
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Eh, is this thing on? I thought there'd be a blinking red light or something. I'm just a guy that likes to cook, you know? Growing up my dad was always the main cook of the family, and he taught me and my older brother everything he knew. I started cooking for others in college when we all had enough of the campus meal plan, and it just went on from there. I've been cooking food for my family all this time, working on finding new techniques and figuring out the best way to develop good strong flavors while keeping my dishes clean and lean. I'm still not sure why I was invited to this thing, but hey - here I am, and here I'll stay. I hope you enjoy my cooking!
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Aug 20, 2018 00:58
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A figure, completely cloaked in a heavy, crimson robe, approaches the camera. The tip of their chin can barely be seen beneath the heavy hood. They stand in silence, until a timid voice can be heard from offscreen. "Uh, so, this is the part where you need to introduc-" "The Chicret Ingredient." A moment of silence hangs heavy. With the clearing of a throat, the voice continues "Would you like to say anything about, maybe, where you're from or-" "All will be revealed. In time." Another moment of uncomfortable silence. The figure turns, and strides offscreen. Before the camera cuts off, the viewer can hear "why did I agree to film this show who are these people what the gently caress is-"
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Aug 20, 2018 01:46
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A lavish table full of fruits and vegetables slides into view. A short moment later, impossible to miss, CHAIRMAN KAGA, dressed in luxurious, shimmering clothes. He picks up a bell pepper and bites into it "MMM Delicious!" He crushes a tomato beneath his clenched, gloved fist "It is well known that I am a connoisseur of the finest flavours in the world" KAGA pensively sniffs, then devours an onion "But I am done just watching others cook! I am done eating raw ingredients in the dark. I am here to COOK" KAGA flips the table to emphasize his point. Suddenly he draws power from the ground up and bellows "InnnntroDUCING CHAIRMAN KAAAAAGAAAAAAAAAAAA"
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Aug 20, 2018 08:00
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MMM Whatchya Say posted:A lavish table full of fruits and vegetables slides into view. A short moment later, impossible to miss, CHAIRMAN KAGA, dressed in luxurious, shimmering clothes. He picks up a bell pepper and bites into it I can't wait to see your final form .....
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Aug 20, 2018 16:08
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(I'm not playing but I just generally want to say I love both the concept and characters so far y'all are funny)
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Aug 20, 2018 16:20
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"Prawn Po'Boy" turns away from the camera, as though looking at some distant figure. But, there's nobody there. I am glad you are entertained.
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Aug 20, 2018 16:55
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The spotlight fades. And once again the Blue Spirits float to the center of Kitchen Stadium - landing in unison, straightening their ties in unison, uttering a chorus of ethereal voices in unison. "Our Contestants Have Introduced Themselves. But There Is Only One Way We Can Truly Know Their Paths, Their Fates, Their Souls." "ROUND ONE OF THE TOURNAMENT BEGINS NOW!!!" Above each Kitchen Station a small fire erupted, not attached to the ground or the equipment, floating defiantly in the air. A miasma of flame swirling shapeless and intangible and yet, coalescing. The smoke and light shifted until each separate cloud was easily read, displaying the name of every contestant in vibrant neon lights. "A Station Has Been Assigned To Every Chef! Contestants, Please Take Your Positions!" As the Chefs found their places the Specters settled once again in front of the table of nine Silhouettes. As they straightened their ties, three figures arose from behind. "Ladies and Gentlemen! It Is Our Honor To Present The Councilors Who Will Be Presiding Over Your First Round." "Bobby Flay!" He Steps out from behind the table, straightening his already perfect hair and smirking at the contestants. "Cat Cora!" With military precision she steps out into the light, crossing her arms and raising her chin defiantly. "Mario Batali! He bounces out of his seat and into the light, giggling and waving at Kitchen Stadium. "For The First Round, All Contestant Will Be Given 45 Gold Coins And A Free Visit To The Grocery Between Worlds. Fear Not The Void, For It Is There You Will Find The Weapons Of Your Craft." A dark spiraling cyclone of energy encompassed a space in the far end of the room behind the judges table. A neon sign popped into existence above it reading "Groceries". As you stare, two more of the council stand. You recognize them immediately as they take the floor and begin wandering amongst you. "This Round, Martha Stewart And Wolfgang Puck Will Be Joining You On The Floor of Kitchen Stadium. Martha Stewart Is Accepting Ingredients. Wolfgang Puck is Accepting Challengers. "You Will Have 72 Hours To Prepare A Dish To Present To Your Judges. We Ask This Round That You Cook A Dish Which Tells Us Your Story. A Dish From Your Past. And Now, Ladies And Gentlemen, Honored Contestants ..." "LET THE TOURNAMENT BEGIN!!!" _*_*_*_*_ tldr - You're getting judged by Bobby Flay, Cat Cora, and Mario Batali. The Interfering Judges will be Martha Stewart and Wolfgang Puck. Both of their interferences are optional, we're starting you out easy. You get 45 Gold Coins and a trip to the Grocery Between Worlds (look at the next post) You have 72 hours and are encouraged to make a dish which shares your story or is tied to your past. If anyone wishes to use their power, please PM myself or AI and we'll make the appropriate arrangements. If anyone has questions, also let us know and we'll get those resolved
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Aug 21, 2018 02:42
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The Grocery Between Worlds Beef Prime Rib ---- 20 Ribeye --- 15 Sirloin --- 15 Tenderloin --- 12 T-Bone Steak --- 12 Veal Cutlets --- 12 Lengua (Tongue) --- 10 Brain --- 10 Ground Beef ---6 Pork Ham --- 15 Tenderloin --- 12 Pork Chops --- 12 Ribs --- 10 Ground Pork --- 6 Cracklin' (Skin) --- 6 Poultry Duck --- 12 Emu --- 12 Chicken --- 10 Turkey --- 10 Duck Liver --- 10 Goose --- 10 Pheasant --- 10 Chicken Hearts --- 6 Turkey Skin --- 6 Pidgeon --- 6 Seafood Lobster --- 20 Tuna --- 15 Salmon --- 12 Cod --- 12 Geoduck --- 12 Octopus --- 12 Crab --- 12 Caviar (Roe) --- 10 Prawns --- 10 Langoustine --- 10 Oyster --- 10 Mussels --- 6 Squid --- 6 Sardines --- 6 "White Fish" --- 6 Eccentric Bear Steak --- 15 Horse Steak --- 15 Venison Steak --- 12 Buffalo Steak --- 12 Lamb Shank --- 12 Lamb Chop --- 12 Goat Shank --- 10 Goat Chops --- 10 Whole Rabbit --- 8 Whole Snake --- 8 Whole Iguana --- 8 Whole Turtle --- 8 Whole Possum --- 6 Frog Leg --- 6 Fruits Pineapple --- 6 Watermelon --- 6 Durian --- 6 Orange --- 4 Apple --- 4 Banana --- 4 Strawberry --- 4 Blueberry --- 4 Peach --- 4 Pear --- 4 Plum --- 4 Lemon/Lime --- 4 Kiwi --- 4 Grapefruit --- 4 Vegetables Good Mushroom (Any) --- 6 Brussel Sprouts --- 6 Eggplant --- 6 Kale --- 6 Pumpkin --- 6 Habanero Pepper --- 6 Cauliflower --- 6 Asparagus --- 6 Squash --- 4 Broccoli --- 4 Cabbage --- 4 Lettuce (Any) --- 4 Onion --- 4 Leek --- 4 White Mushroom --- 4 Bell Pepper --- 4 Jalapeno Pepper ---- 4 Garlic --- 4 Shallot --- 4 Green Beans --- 4 Okra --- 4 Corn --- 4 Carrots --- 4 Celery Root --- 4 Tomato --- 4 Zuchinni ---- 4 Starches Fresh Bread --- 8 Cashews --- 8 Panko --- 8 Oatmeal --- 6 Almonds --- 6 Noodles (Any) --- 6 Garbanzo Beans --- 6 Lentils --- 6 Yam --- 4 Potato --- 4 Sweet Potato --- 4 Rice --- 4 Kidney Beans --- 4 Sandwich Loaf --- 4 Barley --- 4 Quinoa --- 6 Dairy Creme Fraiche --- 8 Dark Chocolate --- 8 Milk Chocolate --- 6 Quail Egg --- 6 Goat Cheese --- 6 Blue Cheese --- 6 Sheep Cheese --- 6 Ricotta --- 6 Mozzarella --- 6 Cottage Cheese --- 4 Pepper Jack --- 4 American Cheese --- 4 Chicken Egg --- 4 White Chocolate --- 4 Exotic Truffle --- 10 Juniper Berries --- 8 Mint Paste ---8 Wasabi --- 8 Sugar Cane --- 6 Lemon Grass --- 6 Artichoke --- 6 Edamame --- 6 Water Chestnuts --- 6 Jam (Any) --- 6 Rhubarb --- 4 Peanut Butter --- 4 KhediveRex fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Aug 21, 2018 |
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Aug 21, 2018 02:42
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Quick Clarification: 1) Unused Ingredients will carry over to the later rounds. 2) Unused money will carry over between rounds. 3) There is no limit to the quantity of ingredients in the Grocery Between Worlds. It will never run out and there is enough for everyone. 4) Ingredients are automatically priced and sold in a quantity sufficient to serve three judges. One "Unit" of an ingredient is enough for one round. KhediveRex fucked around with this message at 03:25 on Aug 21, 2018 |
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Aug 21, 2018 03:23
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Hi everybody! Anonymous Idiot here! While the game is starting and we will no longer accept chefs, the discord remains open to anyone who wants front row seats to the greatest culinary game show on the internet! Click this link here for anything from chatting with the hosts, questions, or perhaps talking about food: https://discord.gg/rPgnnrm
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Aug 21, 2018 04:56
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I'd like to buy the following ingredients: 1 Dark Chocolate (8) 1 Habanero (6) 1 Banana(s) (4) 1 Chicken Egg(s) (4) 1 Strawberries (4) 1 Duck (12) 1 Apricot Jam (6) Then I'd like to mix the kitchen staples of cream, milk, white sugar, vanilla extract, a small bit of green food coloring, and peppermint extract in an ice cream machine, together with small pieces of dark chocolate (from my stash, but definitely not all of it.) I'll chill my ice cream in the freezer for a while (overnight, even!), use more kitchen staples of crushed cornflakes and cinnamon to create a breading, then dip the ice cream into the cornflake/cinammon mixture, coating it then refreezing. Next, I'll beat the egg(s) together with some white sugar, dip the frozen and coated ice cream in that, then into more of the cornflake+ cinnamon mixture, then freeze again. Now, I'll heat some peanut oil to around 375° Farenheit, and Deep Fry the stuff. While this is going on, I'll melt the remaining chocolate in a double boiler, slice the bananas, and arrange the banana slices so that they form a ring on each judge's plate. I'll remove my deep fried ice cream when golden, place it in the center of the banana ring, and drizzle/pour (depending on just how much there is!) the molten dark chocolate over everything in a decorative fashion. Or in other words: Ingredients used: Egg, Banana(s), Dark Chocolate, a lot of kitchen staples. (Cream is the Star Ingredient, since "ice cream" isn't a valid choice for that...as I have to make it!) Methods used: Ice Cream'ed (sic), Deep Fry. I'm not giving cook times or amounts for everything because I doubt it matters, since it's "enough for one round" and "however it would end up being done irl", but I will if needed! Remaining ingredients: Habanero Strawberry Duck Apricot Jam 1 very lonely Gold Coin left, too. I hope I did this right.
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Aug 21, 2018 06:27
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Only thing askew I see is that a Kitchen Staple cannot be the Star Ingredient. Maybe consider that Dark Chocolate? For reference sake I would break this dish down as, Dark Chocolate: Ice Cream'ed Egg Batter: Deep Fried Bananas: Raw
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Aug 21, 2018 06:34
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KhediveRex posted:Only thing askew I see is that a Kitchen Staple cannot be the Star Ingredient. Maybe consider that Dark Chocolate? Uh, sure, let's go with that.
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Aug 21, 2018 06:39
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GeneX posted:Uh, sure, let's go with that. Noted. Good job describing your dish though! My simple breakdown aside, we definitely want everyone to get into their recipes and describe them dramatically. Keeps everyone hungry.
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Aug 21, 2018 06:47
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"Ingredient shopping is one of my great joys. So many amazing possibilities in each, and the wonder of finding the best way to express them exciting in the extreme." The mercurial figure wastes no time, vanishing into the Grocery with a smile and returning shortly with a selection of ingredients. "Today's dish will be something I am entirely fond of, one of my very first." Setting aside their ingredients and almost absently organizing their workspace precisely, the silvery form smiles fondly. "Well, the first that my mistress trusted me to complete by myself. The early stages of culinary education are... rigorous." The great oven is lit, and dialed in to the proper temperature for a slow roast. The chef's hands move with surety though preparations as it continues to reminisce with the camera. "One of the great Principals of the Art that I was taught is that there are no short cuts. There are effective substitutions, where 'good enough' can be achieved when time is of the essence, but doing some things properly requires time and effort. That time is to be invested now, so please, join me again in an hour or so." The beef collected from the Grocery is quickly deboned, and the bones rubbed with a bit of olive oil before being salted and peppered and going into the oven to roast. The chef returns to its preparations for half an hour while the bones gently brown, then adds a collection of diced vegetable scraps and garlic to the pan, along with a pair of cloves. They roast for a further 20 minutes while a large stock pot is placed on the stove and filled with 5 quarts of water before the bones and vegetables are added, along with a small cheesecloth bag filled with fresh herbs. "Another of the things I first learned was the power of heat to change flavors. The mystery of Maillard is one of my favorites, as is brings unexpected depth of flavor from things that would be wasted. For example, this pan..." It gestures to the roasting pan now sitting on another burner, which is kicked to medium heat. "You see those burnt-on bits? The uninitiated would think them an inconvenience for the dishwasher, but I know them to be the source of savory wonder." A cup of red wine from the staples is added to the pan, and the silvery chef cheerfully scrapes away at the caramelized bits of vegetable and beef fat on the pan, dissolving them in the wine, which is then added to the stock pot. "There. Not an ounce of flavor lost." The rest is sadly less interesting. 10 hours of slow simmering, pouring through a strainer to remove the solids, and overnight refrigeration pass in a montage for the camera. On the day of serving, the hardened fat is removed from the top of the cooled stock, and it is ready for use. The chef returns, seemingly unchanged and unbothered by its lack of clothing before the camera. "It seems like a lot of effort to create what will simply be a base for my dish, but as I said, time is a tool those schooled in the culinary mysteries learn to wield well. Now that the materials are prepared, we can finish and serve this delicious dish." A large heavy-bottomed dutch oven is then lifted onto a burner set to medium, and finely sliced onions are tipped in from the cutting board. A lump of butter joins them, and they are stirred for several minutes until they begin to soften and the heat can be reduced to low. "The secret here is the same as in the broth, although by different means. As the marrow and meat in the broth benefit from Maillard's magic, the sugars in my onions react to heat in their own way, caramelizing to create a flavor vastly more rich than a raw onion could convey." Half an hour passes while the onions are stirred occasionally, going from translucent to tawny, then finally to a warm chestnut brown. In the meantime, Liquid moves to the next task, locating a shaker bottle from the glasswares. "This soup could stand alone, but it is a lot of very rich flavors, so I feel it needs something fresh and sharp to balance it." Shallots are minced finely, then combined with olive oil, stone ground mustard, and good wine vinegar in the shaker, along with a bit of salt and pepper. The bottle is shaken heartily until the oil and vinegar emulsify into a smooth liquid, and is set aside to chill. "A salad of field greens with a vinaigrette is a good contrast." The onions have reached peak caramelization, so a half cup of port wine goes into the pot, and it is brought up to a boil, the chef watching intently until the liquid has reduced by half, then two quarts of the finished beef stock are added along with salt and pepper. The golden brown soup is brought back to a boil, then reduced to simmer for another hour until the time for serving is at hand. "I love this sort of meal, honestly. It is the kind of thing my mistress preferred for house meals, simple and hearty but with enough complexity of flavor to challenge her apprentices to get the subtleties right." Fresh baugette is sliced, brushed with oil and, slid under the salamander to toast. The finished toasts are rubbed with half a clove of garlic for flavor, then three broiler-safe bowls are placed on a sheet pan and the toasts are dropped in each. A ladle of soup, thick with onions is added to fill the bowl, then shredded Gruyere is placed atop before the whole pan slides under the salamander again to melt and toast the cheese. They are moved to simple wooden trays, next to an earthenware bowl of salad dressed in pale yellow vinaigrette, and are ready to serve. "The judges asked for a dish of our history, and of ourselves, and I think this will suit. My name was taken from the processes that give this dish its flavors, and it has simplicity and depth enough to speak well of me to them." code:
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Aug 21, 2018 07:41
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With a loud tearing sound, like the rip of a wet fart, Weener Batter exits the portal from the Grocery between Worlds, arms laden with the ingredients for a stellar dish. "Greetings most august Judges, and unworthy competitors. I come not just to win, but to educate! This first lesson draws on my childhood love of shellfish, instilled in me by the almost continuous diet of swamp crawdads fed to me by my poor foster mothers. Behold and learn, for I shall concoct for you........." "Spicy Thai Prawn Soup!!!!" "To start we will need a fish stock for the base of the soup. Unlike chicken or beef stock, fish stock is fast and can be made while we are prepping other parts of our dish. We first start by expertly filleting our whole fish. Luckily, we only need the head and bones for our stock, which means we can keep these beautiful fish fillets for later in the competition. ;-) " " Next we place the the heads, spines, ribs, and tails of our white fish into a large stock pot, along with fennel, parsley, tarragon, and bay leaves. Add enough water to cover the bones, along with a cup of dry white wine. The wine functions much like lemon juice on fish, adding fresh, clean notes that help balance the fishy qualities of the stock. We will let this simmer for 20 minutes." "As you can see I am using these large beautiful Tiger prawns as the protein base of our soup. Prior to grilling we need to shell and de-vein them. De-veining is a bit of a misnomer, for we are actually removing the alimentary canal, by inserting a razor sharp knife into the butt hole of the prawn, and making a shallow slice up the underside. We now tear out the dark, waste filled tract. Rinse them thoroughly after!" Weener Batter lightly coats the prawns in oil and places them on the open grill for a quick sear. He then hastily gather all manner of spices to construct his soup. The aroma of fish begins to permeate the room... " I will now start to build the soup. Behold! I am heating a tablespoon of oil in this large wok! Observe!, as I add my Asian spices consisting of toasted and black sesame seeds, lemon grass powder, ginger, cilantro, onion powder, garlic powder, chili pepper flakes, coriander, white pepper, and salt to the hot oil!. Watch out! as I add lime rind and our fish broth to the wok!!! We bring these mystic ingredients to a boil before we add our rice. We will now cover this and let this simmer for 15 minutes...." " As we let our rice simmer it is time to enter the final phase. I have our sliced Shiitake mushrooms, diced the green onions, and sliced the Thai chili pepper. We add the coconut milk and our mushrooms to the rice mixture, simmering and stirring gently. Finally, I lovingly add our seared prawns, the green onion, chili, and cilantro. Let us merge the flavors for another 5 minutes so the dish may achieve its final form!!!"" Weener Batter, nose buried in the wok, wafts the heady aroma of the soup upwards. He tastes it slowly, decides it needs a small dash of lime juice, and stands wholly satisfied. What started as a fish wives nightmare, has been transformed into a delicate spicy soup fit for the royal house of Thailand. "My esteemed judges, I give you Spicy Thai Prawn Soup!!!! An exotic, complex dish that still hearkens back to my childhood." Weener Batter stands smugly, arms akimbo, daring any of the other contestants to look at him funny Ingredients and preparation 10 Prawns grill (star Ingredient) 6 fish boil 4 long-grain rice boil / simmer 6 Shiitake mushrooms boil / simmer 4 2 green onions boil / simmer 4 1 thai chile, boil / simmer 4 limes Garnishes and juice Extras and leftovers 6 ground beef Fish fillets, bones and head only used for stock 1 measly gold piece
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Aug 21, 2018 18:24
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Prawn Po'Boy pushes his hand with four coins into the void, and pulls out a potato. Martha, I present to you, a potato. Enjoy. Prawn Po'Boy smiles. Every tooth is a carnivor's.
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Aug 21, 2018 20:48
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Jon Joe posted:Prawn Po'Boy pushes his hand with four coins into the void, and pulls out a potato. She smiles demurely laying both hands on the potato, cradling it into her grasp. "Its not so much to work with. The humble potato. But all ingredients have their noble virtues." She winks at you. "And I work miracles. Honey." A golden yellow light shines from your right hand. You look down to see a glyph staining your palm. It is in a language you've never seen and yet, you understand it. It reads "Owed One Potato." "I'll return this right back to you. Better than ever before." Martha Stewart is blessing your potato. It will be returned to you next round.
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Aug 22, 2018 02:02
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The Thermal Immersion Circulator Master tossed his coins into the Void, and with a wave of his Anova he withdrew his desired groceries: ribeye steak, bone-in pork chops, kale, apple, and creme fraiche. The ribeye went into the fridge; it would be saved for a later challenge, as he suspected there would come a time when they would not be given a protein to work with. The pork chops were sous vide of course, with some rosemary and sage along with salt and pepper, to just below medium. When he seared them off in butter and oil, that would bring them up the few remaining degrees to a perfect medium temperature. The kale was washed and chopped along with the apple, seasoned with some salt and a touch of pepper, then dressed with just a bit of olive oil and lemon juice to form a raw kale salad. The creme fraiche was served alongside the pork chop and salad. "Judges, you ask to see my journey thus far. Here it is. Sous vide of course, with the aim of achieving perfection. Perfect medium temperature on the pork, perfectly complemented by the apple in the salad. The crunch of the raw salad perfectly contrasting the soft pork. The tang of the creme fraiche perfectly balancing the sweetness of the apple. Flavor, texture, everything in harmony, everything perfect. That is my goal." 12 pork chop (star ingredient) Sous vide 6 kale Raw 4 apple Raw 8 creme fraiche Raw 15 ribeye Stored 0 gold coins remaining
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Aug 22, 2018 20:23
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“ALRIGHT! It’s time to SHOW EVERYONE how it’s REALLY DONE!” Eat shouts as he returns through the portal, laden with groceries. Moving to his station, he stares intensely into the camera for a moment before flexing with what appeared to be every muscle at once, his tank top struggling to contain him. After a solid uncomfortable minute of this he relaxes, dons his apron, and pulls an impressive slab of meat from his grocery bag, holding it aloft over his head. “THIS! IS! BEAR! STEAK!” He bellows, slamming it down onto the cutting board with a THUD so powerful it momentarily sends the other utensils flying upwards. “It’s a POWERFUL meat from a POWERFUL predator! This is STRONG food! Any MAN off the STREET would tell you that if you want to make STRONG cuisine, this is where you should START!” Eat stares angrily back into the camera for a moment, breathing heavily. “THOSE MEN ARE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!! “Make NO MISTAKE! Bear meat is STRONG! But to TRULY MASTER this style of cooking, you have to be STRONGER THAN YOUR FOOD! If you try to START with the bear, you’ll come to RELY on it as a CRUTCH! But DON’T THINK that not using the bear today doesn’t mean we’ll be using WEAK INGREDIENTS!” He reaches into his grocery bag and pulls out a brown sack. “This is CANE SUGAR! It comes from SUGARCANE! That might not SOUND impressive, but sugarcane is one of the most EFFICIENT PHOTOSYNTHESIZERS of ALL PLANTS! That’s right! When other plants are saying they can’t CARRY any more of the SUN’S DIVINE GIFT, the sugarcane is STILL GOING STRONG! And all that SUNLIGHT makes it the SUPERIOR SUGAR! Now, we’re going to PROCESS this until it’s NICE AND FINE so we can MAXIMIZE OUR POWER INTAKE! Now, we’re going to add EGG WHITES!” At this, Eat produces a dozen eggs from his groceries, cracking them all simultaneously between his massive fingers. Miraculously, not even a hint of shell or yolk makes it into a bowl. “We’ll also add a few HANDY STAPLES: FLOUR! WATER! SALT! TARTAR! And just a hint of LEMON EXTRACT! Mix it all up, throw it in the oven at THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DEGREES, and we’re going to have the an angel food cake BURSTING to the SEAMS with DIVINE MIGHT!” “But we’re NOT STOPPING THERE, because we have a LOT MORE LEMONS TO USE!” he yells as he dumps a sackful of lemons out onto the table. “I shouldn’t NEED to tell any of you just how much CITRUS POWER is CRAMMED into EVERY! SINGLE! ONE! Of these! Personally, I like to eat them RAW IN THEIR ENTIRETY as a REFRESHING SNACK! But we’re going to use a little more FINESSE than that for today’s recipe! Because why use the whole lemon when you only need THE JUICES!” He starts crushing lemons barehanded, making no effort to peel them or soften them up. “Now, we’re going to need a proper VESSEL to HOLD this! And for that, we’re going to take SUGAR! CORN STARCH! WATER! EGG YOLKS! SALT! Put them over heat together, and WHIP THEM until they finally SHAPE UP into a PROPER CUSTARD! Add in the LEMON and some butter, and you’ve got LEMON CUSTARD! But we’re going to have to observe PROPER WORKOUT PROCESS and give it some time in the fridge to COOL DOWN!” “Our last major ingredient needs NO INTRODUCTION! STRAWBERRIES! Fun fact: these FLAVOR GRENADES technically AREN’T ACTUALLY BERRIES! But you know what? That doesn’t MATTER because nobody has the GUTS to SAY THAT TO THEIR FACE! They’ll call themselves WHATEVER THEY PLEASE! They’re so PACKED WITH FLAVOR we won’t even NEED to COOK them! We’ll just SLICE THEM UP and make some SWEET WHIPPED CREAM on the side while we’re at it! And as long as we’ve got the KNIVES out, let’s DICE UP THAT CAKE! It’s going to serve as the FOUNDATION for this CELESTIAL CONFECTION! A lesser desert would CRUMBLE under the PRESSURE, but this cake was baked to be STRONG! Now, in a reinforced glass dish, it’s TIME for the COMBO!” “CAKE! CUSTARD! STRAWBERRY! CREAM! CAKE! CUSTARD! STRAWBERRY! CREAM! TOP it OFF with a RING of STRAWBERRIES around a TASTEFUL SLICE of LEMON to EVOKE THE SUN’S SUMMER MAJESTY! THE MOST POWERFUL STRAWBERRY LEMON TRIFLE EVER MADE! THIS IS STRONG COOKING! RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After screaming at the ceiling for three minutes straight, Eat presents the Trifle to the judges with a solemn nod. “ENJOY!” code:
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Aug 22, 2018 21:47
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huh wow all these chefs putting so much effort into their dishes, gotta show y'all that it's possible to make something goddamn delicious without goin crazy allllright, lessee, let's grab some of that pork loin, throw it in the pressure cooker for a while, yeah, that'll be good. little bit of chili powder for flavor, salt and pepper, all right, i'll come back to that, don't let me forget huh sides. so let's get some fresh bread, few potatoes, heck okra i almost forgot how could i forget the okra uh, is there wine in the kitchen? no i don't need it to cook with, i'm just gonna, um, hang onto it, let me put it over there, don't worry about it lessee, whatdoiget, do i have a mandoline? ok that'll probably work let's julienne these potatoes no wait hang on can i put these back? ah too late okay never mind i'll come back to these potatoes some other round no I will not cut them up right now. back to the store, get some sweet potatoes instead, julienne those, I'll finish those up at the end don't let me forget those either, sheesh i coulda really screwed up the flavor profile there yikes. uh where was i, right, sides, only got the one, let's get that okra prepped, get me an egg, why didn't i get an egg, let's run back and grab a couple real fast okay great. crack the eggs! beat the eggs! dredge the okra, drop em in some breadcrumbs, okay those are ready oh shoot i got this done too early okay set that aside again hows that pork coming ah shoot not done yet okay hang on ah heck i don't have anything else to do! i'll be back in a few hours. i'm sure this will all make more sense then. code:
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Aug 23, 2018 00:22
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brown sugar! i forgot the brown sugar how could i forget pop the pressure cooker throw some sugar in there hmkay back to waiting
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Aug 23, 2018 00:41
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Meleager looks slightly quizzical A dish from my past, eh? A straightforward request for most, but for one such as I what does it truly mean? Shall I prepare the Julian Stew of Caesars era? Perhaps partridge and pheasant a la Louis XIV? The gastronomic chemistry of 21st Century Earth or the roast Garnazal of Mars? He smiles slightly No - in the end, there can only be one dish that truly represents my past - a dish prepared by my very own father, the first dish to show me that food is more than sustenance, that cuisine can come in other forms than that of the NutriPill(tm). He enters the mystical grocery and emerges with a full basket. Meatloaf, Potatoes Gratin, and Grilled Asparagus. A simple homecooked meal, but one I will always remember, no matter how many times and places I may travel to. He begins by combining ground beef, diced onions, bread crumbs, an egg, ketchup, worcestshire sauce, dried parsley, garlic powder, salt and pepper in a bowl. Beginning to mix, he returns to the...camera? My father was a good man - he worked, as just about everyone does in my time, for the Government. But food was his passion, and he passed that passion on to me. Pouring the mixture into a loaf pan, Chef Omrid quickly whisks together ketchup, brown sugar, and red white vinegar into a glaze, which he uses to cover the meatloaf before placing it into the oven. The cuisines of the Inner Planets, that of the Extrasolar Alliance and even a few dishes from outside Human Space, all these he passed on to me. But it was the cuisine of Terra, proud and ancient, that he knew especially well. In a flash, the potatoes are sliced, the cheese melted, and the combined dish set to bake in the oven. Meleager theatrically bows, then begins to wait. 5, 10, 50 minutes pass before the next stage. The asparagus are arranged on a sheet of foil, covered in oil, salt, and pepper, and placed on the grill, removed after a few minutes. By this time, the baking dishes are nearing completion as well, and removed from the oven. A hearty serving of each is placed on three plates, and Chef Omrid stands back in satisfaction. May the hope of my people, of my family, carry through in this dish. Bon Appetit. Ground Beef 6 Baked Onion 4 Baked Asparagus 6 Grilled Chicken egg 4 Baked Cheddar 4 Baked Potato 4 Baked
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Aug 23, 2018 00:41
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The contestant simply known as Chef Boyardima shuffles in, toting a basket full of ingredients. He sifts through them, taking time to prepare his station - the following ingredients are packed away into a cooler for later use: Stocked Shallot - 4G Jalapeno Pepper - 4G Chicken - 10G 1 Coin One more ingredient, a gnarled root, comes under careful consideration for a moment. Face set with decision, he politely approaches Martha Stewart. "Chef, I'd appreciate it if you could give my purchase a quality check." Wasabi - 8G (given to Martha Stewart!) His station organized, the chef sets to work on prepping his mise. First, the Shallot is peeled, trimmed, and sliced once lengthwise and then thinly sliced into half-moon cuts. Next, the White Fish - it looks freshly caught, and smells of the sea - is trimmed into good thick filets. The Limes are simply halved, easy enough. And lastly, some Cilantro (Kitchen Staple) is rinsed, diced, and set aside. Chefs: to set the scene a bit, I grew up in coastal Southern California - not far at all from the beach, so the smell of the sea was a constant in my life that I never really noticed until I moved away. This dish is meant to evoke those memories - inhaling the deep smell of the endless ocean, feeling a crisp salt-breeze upon your face, while watching the blazing-red sun sink beneath the waves. Keep that in mind while I'm cooking. His short piece said, the chef sets to work. Firing up a grill, he places a pan upon it and tosses the shallots in with a bit of oil and salt and nothing else. [Shallots (Grilled)] Letting them caramelize for a while with the occasional stir, he pulls out some olive oil and delicately brushes the fish filets. Seasoning them with salt, pepper, and cumin, they too go on the grill. [White Fish (Grilled)] Keeping a careful eye on the delicate fish to ensure it gets a good crispy char without overcooking, he preps the last warm ingredient - freshly-made tortillas. Tossing them one by one onto the crackling grill, he spends a few seconds browning each side while carefully watching them puff up with trapped air before the inevitable flip. [Tortillas (Grilled)] Setting aside each warm ingredient once complete and tenting with foil, the chef prepares individual plates. First a tortilla onto each, followed by flaked grilled fish and caramelized scallops. The dish is finished with a squeeze of fresh lime, with an additional half of lime set on the side in case the judge prefers more of a sour bite to their taste. [Lime (Raw)] Last but not least, the diced cilantro goes into a small dish on the side of each serving plate, as the chef turns to the judges with a raised eyebrow. [Kitchen Staple: Cilantro] I note that my colleague Weener Batter included cilantro in his dish. I've opted to provide you with it as an optional side, since I know full well that not everyone enjoys (let alone tolerates) its unique flavor. Please add it if you like, or leave it aside if not - the dish will stand on its own merits without the addition. Folding over the tortilla and sprinkling a bit of sea salt over the plate as a final touch, the final dish is presented: SoCal Style Fish Tacos Shallot (Grilled) - 4G [Caramelized] - Star Ingredient White Fish (Grilled) - 6G Tortilla (Grilled) - 4G Lime (Raw) - 4G Cilantro - Kitchen Staple - Optional Please enjoy this taste of where I grew up, and let the smell of the sea wash over you. Dig in! Podima fucked around with this message at 13:00 on Aug 23, 2018 |
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Aug 23, 2018 05:13
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The Lord of Hats posted:
lol, intimidating...
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Aug 23, 2018 18:28
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all right, i gotta think that pork's done by now, lessee, yep, we're all set, okay take it out, grab a couple forks, shred the heck out of it, there, done what's that? almost time? okay let's finish up stick those sweet potatoes and okra in the deep fryer, get the bread under the salamander just toast it up a little bit, we are solid, ok, get that plated, stick a little honey on the side for the sweet potatoes, and what do we have oh hey Southern-Inspired Pulled Pork with Sides Pork Tenderloin (Pressure Cooked) (Star Ingredient) Okra (Deep Fried) Sweet Potatoes (Deep Fried) Fresh Bread (Salamander) Chicken Egg (uh, technically deep fried, I guess!) Saved: 9 coins, 1 potato all right, i'm gonna, um, go again, for a little while. see ya!
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Aug 23, 2018 22:32
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As the challenge starts, Mari stands still, seemingly unphazed by her competitors. Time passes. Don't worry, this is all part of my process! She smiles. ... Time passes. ... More time passes. ... Mari continues to stand still, appearing oblivious to anything. She closes her eyes and continues to wait. With mere minutes left before the challenge ends, she opens her (now bloodshot? what the?) eyes. She smiles and turns towards a cameraman. This is how I like to work. Procrastination is magic! I've often found that my best work comes at the last second - the sheer terror of waiting until the last second helps keep me motivated and inspired. Wait, what was the challenge again? ... "Ah! Right. Let's see here.. I'm going to start off by making a nice Full Fairy Breakfast. It's nice, it's quick, and it comes out delicious with relatively little messy cleanup. It's my favorite way to start the day, and I hope you'll like it too." Mari skips over to the grocery store and purchases the following: code:She then prepares her ingredients: 1. She starts by cutting the turtle meat out of the turtle shell. She takes the meat, salt and peppers it, and then cuts it up and puts it on a metal skewer. 2. She takes the metal skewer and places it over the two stones, allowing the meat to cook over the fire. 3. She then cracks the quail eggs into the turtle shell and whisks them quickly. 4. She places the turtle shell with egg between the stones and over the fire. As the eggs cook, she continues to stir it to make sure it's neither too runny nor burned. 5. She places the quail eggshells in a pot of water and places it between the stones over the fire. 6. She spreads butter on the fresh bread and spears through it with another skewer, cooking it similarly to the turtle until the bread is slightly tinged and butter is melted. 7. She removes the turtle shell with scrambled quail egg from the flame, allowing it to cool down. She takes the toast and turtle steak out from the fire and puts it in the turtle shell. 8. She removes the pot with the eggshells from the flame, removing hard-boiled quail egg shells. Once they cool down, she adds some of the mulberry jam to the eggshells and places them in the turtleshell bowl. "See? It's simple and delicious and you can make it in the middle of the woods, even if you slept in and don't have much time to cook anything. It uses as much of the ingredients as possible - the turtle shell serves as a bowl and the eggshells that contain the jam are edible themselves." She smiles, hoping the judges enjoy her dish. code:
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Aug 24, 2018 00:01
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These are noodles. What type? They shift. This is a pork chop. Boil the noodles. Pan fry the pork chop. For my own amusement, I've then cooked the noodles in the pork grease. All mages begin of simple origin. I would say I added butter, or salt, or pepper, or any other of the kitchen staples so usually associated with such preperations, but according to my thaumic vision, there is little point. Only these ingredients, the pork chops and the noodles, conform to the leylines of this world. There's as much butter and such as you prefer. Thus, I present to you a deceptively simple spell: Pork chops (Pan fried) Noodles (Boil) *Star Ingredient* If my calculations are correct, this should serve the function of a divination spell. Prawn Po'Boy jingles 23 gold coins between his hands. For later, I will purchase some blue cheese, Mozzarella, good mushrooms, and tomato. The last gold coin rises into the air, ringing.
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Aug 24, 2018 00:10
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Noodles - 6 (6) Tomato - 4 (10) Garlic - 4 (14) Ground beef - 6 (20) Ground pork - 6 (26) Chicken egg - 4 (30) Mozzarella - 6 (36) Fresh bread - 8 (44) (One coin remaining.) Spaghetti and Meatballs A recipe from my past? There are many to potentially consider. Particularly as an educator to those of our art. That being said, there is one dish I always start my classes with, to gauge their education thus far and their current culinary skills. Simple, but with plenty of to display what they've got. To really show off their pastabilities. [In-depth recipe goes here: sorry, on mobile this week while I'm out.  ]PASTABILITY SHOWCASE: SPAGHETTI & MEATBALLS Garlic Tomato (*Star Ingredient*) (Staples: Oil, red pepper flakes, bay leaves, salt, oregano, pepper) [BOILED/(simmered) for the sauce.] Ground beef Ground pork Eggs Garlic Mozzarella Bread (Staples: Parmesan, parsley, salt, oregano, pepper, red pepper flakes, milk.) [Rolled and combined together and bind, BOILED(/simmered carefully.] Noodles (Staples: salt!) [BOILED.] Combine the meatballs and sauce, before ultimately combining with noodles. And meanwhile... Garlic (Staples: Butter, parsley.) [BOILED/(melted together.) With the mix then spread over the fresh Italian bread. [And then BAKED.]
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Aug 24, 2018 00:17
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Habanero Pepper --- 6 Sheep Cheese --- 6 Jam (Raspberry) --- 6 Good Mushroom (Shiitake) --- 6 Panko --- 8 Tuna --- 15 (saved for later) Wallet: 0 YOUR STAR INGREDIENT IS  HABANERO PEPPERS (deep fried) SUPPORTING INGREDIENTS:  SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS (smoked) SHEEP CHEESE (flash chill) PANKO(deep fried) Peppers split and filled with cheese and mushrooms. Coat in a simple batter made with kitchen staples (eggs, corn starch, baking powder, salt&pepper) before breading with panko. Serve with a dipping sauce made with RASPBERRY JAM(boiled) and kitchen staples Challenge Wolfgang
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Aug 24, 2018 03:09
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A silent figure stands before a pristine kitchen, having warped in with the following ingredients:quote:Lamb Chop --- 12 The figure heats oil in a large pan, and cuts the chops into chunks before seasoning them with salt and pepper. Once the oil is to heat, they sear the meat until brown. Once the meat has an appetizing seared crust, they transfer the meat to a large stew pot, and add the kitchen staple of Chicken Stock. While the lamb-and-stock simmers, they chop the onion, carrots, and pepper, and smash the garlic clove. They saute the veggies - sans the carrots - on medium heat, sweating them for maximum flavor. Once sauted, they go into the pot with the lamb and stock. To this, two Bay Leaves (kitchen staple) are added, as well as two tablespoons of Tomato Paste (kitchen staple) and the zest of a single lemon. It is then brought to a boil. After about 50 minutes, the heat is lowered to minimum, and the Carrots are added and flour is mixed in for thickening. The stew is left to simmer, until all meat and veggies are tender and the flavorful gravy is thickened. The Bay Leaves are fished out, and discarded. The stew is plated into bowls, and served with a sprinkling of chopped parsley on top. The figure remains silent through the entire process, but at the very end, speaks: "...The Revolt of the Proletariat." "Hearty food, for energy." quote:Cooking Methods: Chic Trombone fucked around with this message at 03:41 on Aug 24, 2018 |
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Aug 24, 2018 03:31
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 07:39 |
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  TIME IS UP! Put it down, walk away! Our first challenge has came and went!We'll leave our judges to taste your dishes. We'll hear from them in 24 hours. For one of you, your journey to Kitchen Stadium is going to end here.
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Aug 24, 2018 04:45
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