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zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?
A long long time ago- I think it was 2015 but archives fail me- I took over a thread called Goons in the NFL, which took characters of your own creation and inserted them into a Madden franchise through the draft. IN THEORY we would then follow their careers season by season until they retired or, more likely, Madden's bad management AI would kill the league. However, this plan fell apart due to numerous challenges by the engine (players regularly disappeared with no explanation), the system it ran on (individually editing every single player into the game on the Xbox One was a tremendous pain in the rear end, especially when they would just cease to exist as soon as the game started) and personal challenges (I was at university at the same time). Long story short all that poo poo is better and Madden is on the PC again so it's time to fire up the engines again. Now I'm bringing back Goons in the NFL and it's gonna even better than before! Maybe this time I'll make it a month!

What It Is:

Goons in the NFL is a Madden 19 based simulation where goons make the players! I'll be taking submissions (about 15-20 for the first year, then maybe 5 or so for every year after that) for players, inserting them into the 2019 NFL Draft, and watching their careers as some of them push for stardom and some of them fade into obscurity.

What's new this year:

Goons in the NFL used to be a bunch of simulation stats and fans of that needn't worry- that isn't going anywhere. But we live in the future now and stats aren't enough when we can literally see the games. That's why this year I will be streaming certain matchups on Twitch for the world (but mostly just the goons) to see. If a game will have more than goon player in it, if it's a playoff matchup, or if there's just a goon that has to be seen to be believed, there's a good chance you'll be able to watch that game on Twitch (Please note that in the interest of fairness I will NOT be controlling either team in these matchups. That means the games will be CPU vs CPU, for better or for worse. This is also good news because I am not great at Madden).

Wow this all sounds great? So how do I get involved?

I'm glad you asked, hypothetical person! All you have to do is make a post with a few pieces of information.

Player Name (First and Last)
Player School
Player Position
Player Archetype (Archetypes listed below)


Once you've made the post, you're all set to sit back and watch your character. Your character will overwrite a random character in the draft, I'll post who drafted you and when, and we'll begin the season.

Player archetypes? What?
If you haven't been following Madden, this year there is a "new" feature called player archetypes. Basically it tells the game what your player excels at and gives bonuses to players that play for teams that have schemes suited to their archetypes. Additionally, players advance their characters by increasing their abilities in certain archetypes instead of individual abilities. It isn't hugely revolutionary by any means, but it does help me know what kind of player you want your character to be.
The archetypes, courtesy of Madden-school.com, are as follows:
QB: Strong Arm, Scrambler, West Coast, Field General
HB: Power Back, Elusive Back, Receiving Back
FB: Blocking, Utility
WR: Deep Threat, Possession, Red Zone Threat, Slot Receiver
TE: Vertical Threat, Possession, Blocking
OL: Agile, Power, Pass Protector
DL: Run Stopper, Speed Rusher, Power Rusher
MLB: Field General, Pass Coverage, Run Stopper
OLB: Pass Coverage, Run Stopper, Speed Rusher, Power Rusher
CB: Man-to-Man, Zone Coverage, Slot Corner
S: Zone Coverage, Run Support, Hybrid
K/P: Accurate, Power

So that's it! This is definitely a work in progress so if anyone has any other ideas that could make this more engaging, please let me know! And let me know if there's any crucial information I haven't covered. Otherwise I look forward to your submissions and to getting this thing off the ground!

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thatguyclint
Apr 11, 2005
See, I didn't know that...ducks eat for free at Subway.
Name: Thatguy Clint
School: Florida
Position: CB
Archetype: Man-to-Man

zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?
Congratulations. It looks like you are the entire NFL draft.

Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



Name: Irving Washington
School: Auburn
Position: WR
Archetype: Deep Threat

Ergo Propter Hog
Jul 21, 2014



Name: Jack Sprat
School: Rice
Position: QB
Archetype: Scrambler

zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?
Still waiting on a few more signups but that's not a terrible thing because I'm still experimenting with sliders to try and produce realistic stats.

UnlimitedSpessmans
Jul 31, 2015
Name: Safety Dan
School: Connecticut
Position: QB
Archetype: Strong Arm

HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy
Name: HOTLANTA MAN
School: Georgia
Position: QB
Archetype: West Coast

zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?
I think I have the sliders nailed down now, it's just a matter of getting people signed up. Let's say 5 more people for an even 10.

StupidSexyMothman
Aug 9, 2010

Name: DumpTruck Chuck
School: Miami (FL)
Position: HB
Archetype: Power Back

Evig Vandrar
Jan 15, 2017
Name: Preacher Ozark
School: Nebraska
Position: HB
Archetype: Receiving Back

^burtle
Jul 17, 2001

God of Boomin'



Name: Big Burto
School: Michigan State
Position: (Extra) TE
Archetype: Vertical Threat

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

Name: Joe Mauer
School: Florida State
Position: QB
Archetype: Field General

SAMB0
Jul 9, 2004

Space Bear.
Destroyer of Worlds.
Player Name: Miguel Gonzales
Player School Maryland
Player Position: HB
Player Archetype : Elusive Back

zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?
We hit 10 way sooner than I expected! I've added you all into the draft class as of now and now all that's left is to sim through the initial season so you can all be drafted!

(Programming note: In order to make sure no one was immediately cut any time my RNG hit someone in the 5th round or later I rerolled them. My goal is that everyone in the league at least be able to stay on a roster for a few years.)

Sign ups for the first season are over, so sign ups for season 2 begin now! It may take a while to get to season 2 depending on how many games I end up simming so right now I'm gonna err on the side of caution and say season 2 will start on or around 1 month from now, October 5.

Season 0 results and Draft Results to come soon!

zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?
DRAFT RESULTS
The Chiefs clearly have no faith in Patrick Mahomes, opting to draft QB Safety Dan with pick 1-3.

The Cardinals, having lost David Johnson, will fill the hole in their backfield with HB DumpTruck Chuck, selecting him at pick 1-8

The Bears have similarly lost all hope in the Titty Kisser as they draft Joe Mauer at Pick 1-15

The Jets will look to fill the Revis-sized hole in their franchise by selecting CB Thatguy Clint at pick 1-26

The Colts select Miguel Gonzalez at pick 2-25. Will he be able to finally bring the Colts ground attack back to life?

The Bills select TE Big Burto at pick 3-9. True to his name he is quite large.

The Browns give Baker Mayfield a new deep threat by drafting WR Irving Washington at pick 4-5

The Cardinals spend pick 4-8 on another RB, this time selecting HB Preacher Ozark

The Cowboys pick another winner at QB, drafting HOTLANTA MAN with pick 4-10.

The Panthers fix their revolving door behind Cam Newton, drafting QB Jack Sprat to be his permanent backup at pick 4-14.

There you have it folks!

Now some observations:

Madden does not seem to give a gently caress about QBs drafted 2 years ago, which makes me think the current crop may be in trouble after this year. The Browns organization cannot be happy about drafting in the top 10 again.

The Cardinals Backfield is gonna be must see TV this year. DumpTruck Chuck and Preacher Ozark are complementary backs that will do well together. Now all that remains is to see how many snaps each gets.

Jack Sprat and HOTLANTA MAN are both entering an interesting situation. They're both quality backups that may have starter potential and being placed on teams with QBs (Cam and Dak) with contracts set to expire in the next couple of years. Will they ascend to the throne or be career backups?

Evig Vandrar
Jan 15, 2017
Wait what, where is DJ and why am I sharing the backfield with a RB who has a better name than me?

zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?
DJ is an unsigned free agent. I don't have any idea why.

Edit: I maaayyyyy have to turn the salary cap off. There are about 10 90+ rated players in free agency and no one has any room to sign them.

zimbomonkey fucked around with this message at 15:25 on Sep 6, 2018

Ches Neckbeard
Dec 3, 2005

You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!
Name: Che Guevara
School: UC Berkley
Player Position: MLB
Archtype: Field General

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

oh god the Chicago media is going to destroy Mauer aren't they

FebrezeNinja
Nov 22, 2007

Name: Sven Svensson
School: Virginia Tech
Player Position: OLB
Archetype: Speed Rusher

Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



IcePhoenix posted:

oh god the Chicago media is going to destroy Mauer aren't they

Joe Mauer was quoted as saying, "It's going to be frustrating."

TheFlyingLlama
Jan 2, 2013

You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?



Name: Communist Bear
School: Cal Berkley
Player Position: Defensive Tackle
Player Archetype: Power Rusher

Communist Bear
Oct 7, 2008

TheFlyingLlama posted:

Name: Communist Bear
School: Cal Berkley
Player Position: Defensive Tackle
Player Archetype: Power Rusher

It's true, I generally like mauling people.

zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?
So slight change of plans: long story short is that the franchise save totally hosed itself because of the way I set up my 32 man league. So what I'm going to do is basically start everything over and add in all the new sign ups. Also I want to know what times work well for broadcasts of the games. I'm trying to avoid days with real football so either Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday.

ALSO ALSO I'm in Charlotte so the hurricane bearing down on us may or may not affect some of these plans. Really hoping it doesn't but I guess we'll see.

tadashi
Feb 20, 2006

zimbomonkey posted:

So slight change of plans: long story short is that the franchise save totally hosed itself because of the way I set up my 32 man league. So what I'm going to do is basically start everything over and add in all the new sign ups. Also I want to know what times work well for broadcasts of the games. I'm trying to avoid days with real football so either Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday.

ALSO ALSO I'm in Charlotte so the hurricane bearing down on us may or may not affect some of these plans. Really hoping it doesn't but I guess we'll see.

Too late to join?

Player Name John Lewis
Player School Georgia State University
Player Position MLB
Player Archetype Run Stopper

zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?
Not at all! I'm going to feed the names in tonight and run the draft again

zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?
YEAR 0 OUTCOMES

Super Bowl - Los Angeles Chargers beat the Green Bay Packers, 38-7

Top 5 teams:
1. Eagles (13-3)
2. Patriots (12-4)
3. Saints (13-3)
T4. Cardinals (11-5)
T4. Chargers (11-5)

Bottom 5 Teams
32. Chiefs (2-14)
T30. Lions (4-12)
T30. Colts (4-12)
T28. 49ers (5-11)
T28. Buccaneers (5-11)

Stat Leaders:

Passing - Tom Brady (4834)
Rushing - Ezekiel Elliot (1572, 5.3 YPC)
Receiving - Julian Edelman (1242)
Tackles - Brandon Marshall (137)
Sacks - Khalil Mack (19.5)
Interceptions - Jimmy Smith (6)

MVP- Tom Brady
COTY- Sean Payton
AFC OPOY - Tom Brady
AFC DPOY - Denzel Perryman
AFC OROY - Sam Darnold
AFC DROY - Tremaine Edmunds
NFC OPOY - Carson Wentz
NFC DPOY - Khalil Mack
NFC OROY - Saquon Barkley
NFC DROY - Roquan Smith

Notable Retirements:
Drew Brees
Andrew Whitworth
Richie Incognito
John Sullivan
Marshawn Lynch
Haloti Ngata
Jason Peters
Larry Fitzgerald
Brandon Marshall (The WR)
Adrian Peterson
Julius Peppers
Ryan Kalil
Terrell Suggs
Cameron Wake
Frank Gore
Brent and Miko Grimes
Ryan Fitzpatrick
Shane Lechler

Next up: Draft

zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?
Draft Results

Kansas City stuns draft experts by selecting Thatguy Clint, CB at Pick 1-1. They believe that his elite speed will make him a difference maker and will help fill the hole left by Marcus Peters.

The Miami Dolphins select DT Communist Bear at pick 1-6. Will he have what it takes to bring the bite back to the Dolphins D-line?

The Broncos look to end their running back by committee approach by selecting HB Dumptruck Chuck at pick 1-9. He was widely agreed to be the consensus best player in this draft so Elway has to be feeling good about landing him here.

The Giants are finally ready to talk about Eli's replacement and that conversation will start with the selection of QB Joe Mauer at pick 1-18.

The Cowboys will try to bring some life back to the passing game by adding TE Big Burto at pick 1-20. They also wanted someone that could hold the defense off of Zeke and luckily for them Burto can do it all.

The Bears will give up on the Titty Kisser and draft his replacement, QB Jack Spratt, at pick 1-21.

The Patriots will try their hand at this whole "running game" thing by drafting HB Miguel Gonzales at pick 1-27.

Frank Gore will be replaced in Miami by the phenom RB, Nebraska's own Preacher Ozark at pick 2-6

The Redskins begin their plan to ruin another young QB by drafting HOTLANTA MAN at pick 2-14

The Cowboys add a stout presence to the middle of their LB corps by drafting John Lewis, MLB.

At pick 4-2 the Lions take a shot on Sven Svensson, LOLB.

With pick 4-10 the Bills select MLB Che Guevara, whose Berkeley schooling and political philosophy will instantly endear him to the Buffalo community.

With Pick 4-32 the Chargers will select WR Irving Washington, who will hopefully be a reliable presence as a deep man.

With Pick 5-7 the Panthers select QB Safety Dan as a backup to Cam (and perhaps an eventual replacement?).

And that's it for the draft! If I didn't mention you let me know. I'm sure I must have missed someone.

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

zimbomonkey posted:

The Giants are finally ready to talk about Eli's replacement and that conversation will start with the selection of QB Joe Mauer at pick 1-18.

lol

zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?

Bet that Chicago sports media is looking pretty good now!

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

zimbomonkey posted:

Bet that Chicago sports media is looking pretty good now!

It's more that they picked the one person in the universe that can be more boring than Eli Manning

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy

IcePhoenix posted:

It's more that they picked the one person in the universe that can be more boring than Eli Manning

yea but Joe is a babe

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IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

Dubious posted:

yea but Joe is a babe

and Eli isn't?

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