EVE 2021: Much Abloo About Dr. Who

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > The MMO HMO > EVE 2021: Much Abloo About Dr. Who

Gwyneth Palpate: Jun 7, 2010; Do you want your breadcrumbs highlighted?

~SMcD

RETURNING TO EVE?
We are currently living in: 1DQ1-A (DELVE)
Had stuff in Deklein? Click here to find out how to get your poo poo back!

Welcome to EVE Online: Space Opera as performed by Schizophrenics, Con-Artists, and Cult Leaders!

What is EVE Online?
Variously described as �Spreadsheets in space�, �A worst-in-class PvE experience�, �Sociopaths Online�, and �The game for the Nerds who are to Nerds what Nerds are to Normal People�; EVE Online is a thirteen year old sci-fi sandbox MMO published by vikings from an island that smells, by all accounts, of farts and rotting fish. In spite of having more than earned their forum emote, :ccp:

continues to develop probably the most compelling experiences in gaming.
Eve is unique in its single-sharded world. In other MMOs, servers are sharded to help balance load and otherwise scale the game. Eve takes place on a single server (unless you live in China.) Because of this, every mistake you make and every enemy you make are there to haunt you forever. Friendships and rivalries in Eve do not disappear, making things like �politics� and �diplomacy� actually matter.
That game takes place in a fully realised sci-fi universe, consisting of thousands of solar systems, interlinked by a web of interstellar jump-gates and divided into three concentric zones:

High Security space, where NPC empires enforce peace and the appearance of security. A neutral ground for players to engage in commerce and production.
Low Security space, where the tentative peace of the empires break down. Dominated by small gangs of extortionists pirates and players enrolled in NPC Faction militias; all trying their best to establish pockets of hegemony and stability.
Null Security space. Where vast, player-controlled empires rise and fall as they jostle for influence, resources, and renown.
Above, below and through-out it all is Wormhole Space, a nebulous collection of lost or distant star systems connected to known space and each other by ephemeral wormhole anomalies.

Those resources are vital, because in EVE Online all but the most basic of commodities are the result of hours of player interaction. Nearly everything of worth on the in-game market is the culmination of multiple resource chains that had to be extracted, refined, manufactured, shipped, and assembled. When that cumulation of hundreds of player hours ultimately ends up on the battlefield, if destroyed, it�s gone forever, leaving only scraps of loot and salvage for the victor to pick through.
This cycle of creative-destruction, and the ability to trade game time purchased for real money as an in-game commodity, creates a vibrant and meaningful sense of consequence and value.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kED11aGobUk

Why should I play EVE Online?

EVE is beautiful, EVE is rewarding, and EVE is deeply social.
It�s beautiful:

It�s rewarding in the depth and complexity of its mechanics; The breadth of experiences (some intended by the developers, many not) can be overwhelming at times. It�s the only game where War-Leader, Diplomat, Industrial Monopolist, Combat Photographer, Scam Artist, Day Trader, Messianic Cult Figure, Long-Haul trucker, Provocateur, Propagandist, and Spy are roles fully fleshed out and engaged in meaningful competition. Mastery of a role takes curiosity, skill, and dedication.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdfFnTt2UT0

At its core, what really makes EVE is that it is a deeply social experience. Reliable friends and knowledgeable mentors make the most daunting challenges manageable. Jealousy, greed, and bitter rivalries create struggle and competition more meaningful than any game designer can script. The ever evolving tapestry of nebulous trust, rank betrayals, and alliances of convenience is one of the richest histories and mythologies in videogames.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDVEHE10nHc

Goonswarm Federation: GoonWaffe

What is GoonWaffe?
GoonWaffe is our engine of economic, political, and military domination. A baroque construct of weaponized space-socialism intended to give you, the common goon, immediate access to everything that EVE has to offer.

Our worker�s paradise is built on the shattered remains of those who would deny Goons a place in New Eden. Over a decade of pubbie tears grease the treads of our war-machine. We have gathered the hard-won lessons of our often incompetent and comical bumbling, and dedicated them to sanding off EVE�s rough edges, mentoring newbees, and making the experiences that set EVE apart as immediate and accessible as possible.

Things to do in GoonWaffe

Reavers - If Reavers existed, which they do not, they would be guerillas in the backfield of our enemies, punishing all who would dare take arms against us.
The Ministry of Love - Our Highsec arm, dedicated to bringing the love of Goonswarm Federation to as many freighters as possible.
Recon - Be the eyes of the Swarm. Changes to the game have made scouting more important than ever.
GSOL - Truckers and construction workers in space. Be a vertebrae in the spine of our organization.
Corps Diplomatique - Yes, this game has diplomacy, and yes, it is important. Your honeyed tongue and sharp intuition deliver more damage and mend more fences than any in-game action ever could.
The Black Hand - Dedicated to espionage, sowing sedition, and controlling the metagame.
Sigma & Theta Squad - vote bag of vegetables 2018
Social Swarms - Lawyer? Gay (no, really, actually gay?) Fat? ? We�ve got you (and many more not listed here) covered.

Is There Some Sort Of Manual?
The Goonwiki is one of the most complete guides to EVE online.

GoonWaffe FAQ:
IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT ANYTHING NOT COVERED HERE EMAIL newbies@goonfleet.com

What are the requirements to join GoonWaffe?

Are you an active poster of the SomethingAwful community? If you think you are, you're probably not and you should post more.
Do you have a SomethingAwful account of at least 3 months in age?
Were you banned/probated for some creepy MRA/Furry/Rape poo poo? Yes we kinkshame here so

Ok, I'm not a J4G, I want into Goonwaffe. Now what?
Go read this helpful wiki entry, and it will guide you through the steps to join!

Are you Vacationed and want to come back to GoonWaffe?? (This means your forum group says Vacationer on GF.com)
https://wiki.goonfleet.com/Joining_GoonWaffe_101 can also help you! Follow the steps for Process B or C, whichever applies to you.

Against All The Odds I'm In Now What?
Yet again, there is a wiki page full of helpful advice. Key amongst these is to follow the advice on how to crack Eve's unwillingness to let you talk to others and open the GS_Help channel.

What's 2018 Eve Like?

What's 2021 Eve Like?

# ? Aug 18, 2018 13:23

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 17:29

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Hi there, I used to play this game, and a part of me died playing it.

Join up, and you, too, can lose part of who you are :downs:

Realtalk: I'm assuming this game is still more fun with some form of goons, than with the various collection of bitter exes or whatever

# ? Aug 18, 2018 13:34

Micromancer: Apr 17, 2002; He went out to the store
and when he got back
Roll-marks said .22 Short, jack.
If anything I could say that
this gun was rare
Its covered it sweat,
toilet water, and hair

With goons has been pretty great, excellent fleets and services and people in general. I have no real experience with non-goons other than telling recruiters when I was a week old that if they weren't blue to us, don't even try.

Edit: From the other thread

boatswain posted:

I can't afford one right now [combat probes], but thanks for the tip.

Also, I'm in GoonWaffe now

What is your in game name, I can throw you probe isk. Definitely made 50m+ scooping abandoned drones with very little effort.

Micromancer fucked around with this message at 14:08 on Aug 18, 2018

# ? Aug 18, 2018 13:38

1001 Arabian dicks: Sep 16, 2013; EVE ONLINE IS MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY BECAUSE IM A FRIENDLESS SEMILITERATE LOSER WHO WILL PEDANTICALLY DEMAND PROOF FOR BASIC THINGS LIKE GRAVITY OR THE EXISTENCE OF SELF. ASK ME ABOUT CHEATING AT TARKOV BECAUSE, WELL, SEE ABOVE

Reserved.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 14:11

The Claptain: May 11, 2014; Grimey Drawer

Ground floor

# ? Aug 18, 2018 14:34

CainFortea: Oct 15, 2004

Gwyneth Palpate posted:

Our worker�s paradise is built on the shattered remains of those who would deny Goons a place in New Eden.

That reminds me of this fan made cinematic with a really awesome cover of The Kids Are Alright.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zlrk-vf9jDE

# ? Aug 18, 2018 14:34

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Realtalk: I'm assuming this game is still more fun with some form of goons, than with the various collection of bitter exes or whatever

But I thought goons were the bitter vets?

# ? Aug 18, 2018 14:54

Moo Moo Canoe: Mar 11, 2007; Drunk postin' ftw

Spinning ships with goons: the thread.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 14:59

Speked: Dec 13, 2011; LTA Represent !!

Dont play Eve without being in Goonfleetswarm.
I had great joy in Theta, but do whatever rocks your boat.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 15:50

Fajita Queen: Jun 21, 2012

Speked posted:

Dont play Eve without being in Goonfleetswarm.

Hell yeah.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 16:00

nex: Jul 23, 2001; Ã¸Ã¦Ã¥Â¨Ã¦Ã¸Ã¥Ã¸; Grimey Drawer

i joined the goon guild and im having fun, you should join too

# ? Aug 18, 2018 16:20

Boatswain: May 29, 2012

Micromancer posted:

With goons has been pretty great, excellent fleets and services and people in general. I have no real experience with non-goons other than telling recruiters when I was a week old that if they weren't blue to us, don't even try.

Edit: From the other thread

What is your in game name, I can throw you probe isk. Definitely made 50m+ scooping abandoned drones with very little effort.

DeepState CrisisActor and cheers! Should I buy an expanded probe launcher before I get to Delve?

I'm setting up Jabber and reading through the wiki/forums and holy poo poo is there a lot of things to familiarise myself with.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 16:48

1001 Arabian dicks: Sep 16, 2013; EVE ONLINE IS MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY BECAUSE IM A FRIENDLESS SEMILITERATE LOSER WHO WILL PEDANTICALLY DEMAND PROOF FOR BASIC THINGS LIKE GRAVITY OR THE EXISTENCE OF SELF. ASK ME ABOUT CHEATING AT TARKOV BECAUSE, WELL, SEE ABOVE

this is a good game, gank and scam retarded pubbies in highsec and help kill the game

# ? Aug 18, 2018 16:55

Hexel: Nov 18, 2011

can alphas do anything yet

# ? Aug 18, 2018 17:20

Paramemetic: Sep 29, 2003; Area 51. You heard of it, right?; Fallen Rib

You should update the OP with the actual information about joining GoonWaffe and unvacationing instead of the stuff about API keys which are not real anymore.

https://wiki.goonfleet.com/Joining_GoonWaffe_101

Hexel posted:

can alphas do anything yet

Yeah alphas are in a much better place they can fly battleships and poo poo.

Can confirm GoonWaffe both Good and Cool. Join and exercise your :10bux:

given membership in the privileged caste.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 17:27

Zakrello: Feb 17, 2015; missile imbound

Hexel posted:

can alphas do anything yet

scams

# ? Aug 18, 2018 17:27

Service Charge: Jan 22, 2004; I'm not cheap

Speked posted:

Dont play Eve

Fixed.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 17:51

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018; Can't post for 11 hours!

new thread smell

# ? Aug 18, 2018 18:21

Gwyneth Palpate: Jun 7, 2010; Do you want your breadcrumbs highlighted?

~SMcD

Paramemetic posted:

You should update the OP with the actual information about joining GoonWaffe and unvacationing instead of the stuff about API keys which are not real anymore.

https://wiki.goonfleet.com/Joining_GoonWaffe_101

Edited. Is that better?

# ? Aug 18, 2018 18:23

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

hi new thread posters

# ? Aug 18, 2018 18:47

Dalael: Oct 14, 2014; Hello. Yep, I still think Atlantis is Bolivia, yep, I'm still a giant idiot, yep, I'm still a huge racist. Some things never change!

They're all lying to you. This is a terrible game. You should play it.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 19:10

Hexel: Nov 18, 2011

so hydra 1 is fighting hydra 2 in the AT finals? glad to see some poo poo never changes

# ? Aug 18, 2018 19:13

RandomPauI: Nov 24, 2006; Grimey Drawer

I like the first post.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 19:18

Sub Rosa: Jun 9, 2010

RIP there being a less terrible goon guild specific thread

# ? Aug 18, 2018 19:37

Gwyneth Palpate: Jun 7, 2010; Do you want your breadcrumbs highlighted?

~SMcD

Sub Rosa posted:

RIP there being a less terrible goon guild specific thread

tbh i'm surprised the bitter ex cancer train didn't find its way there too

# ? Aug 18, 2018 19:47

CainFortea: Oct 15, 2004

Well they only post to show how they TOTALLY DON'T CARE about this dumb game and it's gay players. So they want to make sure they show as many people as possible that they TOTALLY DON'T CARE at all about it.

The old Goonfleet thread was just people asking about vacationing.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 20:07

Salisbury Snape: May 26, 2014; While a grain platform can be used for corn, a specialized corn head is ordinarily used instead.

I wish I could be in a position to unvacation. That would require quitting though :smith:

# ? Aug 18, 2018 21:17

notaspy: Mar 22, 2009

I j4g 9 years ago, can I finally join now?

# ? Aug 18, 2018 22:48

Dalael: Oct 14, 2014; Hello. Yep, I still think Atlantis is Bolivia, yep, I'm still a giant idiot, yep, I'm still a huge racist. Some things never change!

notaspy posted:

I j4g 9 years ago, can I finally join now?

Do you post in FYAD?

# ? Aug 18, 2018 23:03

notaspy: Mar 22, 2009

Dalael posted:

Do you post in FYAD?

Of course not

# ? Aug 18, 2018 23:03

Dalael: Oct 14, 2014; Hello. Yep, I still think Atlantis is Bolivia, yep, I'm still a giant idiot, yep, I'm still a huge racist. Some things never change!

notaspy posted:

Of course not

Be warned, that's the quality posting you'll expose yourself to

# ? Aug 18, 2018 23:11

notaspy: Mar 22, 2009

I have only been in there for a dozen clicks.

I found it scary and weird.

Is it the trial I must pass before I can tackle for the swarm?

The last trail I undertook was recording myself saying a very lame verse not realising that it was a joke trail.

I'm a bit gullible me. A touch too trusting. I was once a rich eve man until I transferred 10bn isk in the hope of joining the greater goon.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 23:21

Dalael: Oct 14, 2014; Hello. Yep, I still think Atlantis is Bolivia, yep, I'm still a giant idiot, yep, I'm still a huge racist. Some things never change!

Your application fee should be processed any day now

# ? Aug 18, 2018 23:50

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

I've been posting to SA for 17 years and I still don't understand wtf is going on in FYAD.

# ? Aug 19, 2018 00:17

Gwyneth Palpate: Jun 7, 2010; Do you want your breadcrumbs highlighted?

~SMcD

Rutibex posted:

I've been posting to SA for 17 years and I still don't understand wtf is going on in FYAD.

Count yourself lucky. If you "get" FYAD, you likely have a predisposition to mental illness, basically prodromal schizophrenia. You'd need to take antipsychotics.

# ? Aug 19, 2018 00:20

dragonshardz: May 2, 2017

Querns, can you include MiniTru in the OP?, please?

# ? Aug 19, 2018 01:09

Gwyneth Palpate: Jun 7, 2010; Do you want your breadcrumbs highlighted?

~SMcD

dragonshardz posted:

Querns, can you include MiniTru in the OP?, please?

Sure, if you give me a one-liner for it.

# ? Aug 19, 2018 01:17

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

Gwyneth Palpate posted:

Count yourself lucky. If you "get" FYAD, you likely have a predisposition to mental illness, basically prodromal schizophrenia. You'd need to take antipsychotics.

I'm really obsessed with irony

# ? Aug 19, 2018 01:21

AvidSensei: Apr 28, 2018

I also want to post bad.

# ? Aug 19, 2018 01:50

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 17:29

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

AvidSensei posted:

I also want to post bad.

Excellent first post.

But to post bad one must :justpost:

first

# ? Aug 19, 2018 01:52

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