Jump King fucked around with this message at 04:33 on Sep 14, 2018

For all my bluster I found it difficult to get going. Whenever I started really thinking I had an idea to make a solid improvement to my situation, it slipped away, my mind skipping off its surface like a stone across Coffee. This happened a lot, and contributed a fair bit to my malaise. I grumbled and started to mumble to myself, hoping that saying it aloud would help me organize my thoughts. A small Energy bug started buzzing around me, and I wheeled on it ironically, blaming it for my irritation. I ranted about my problems, then finished with a “So why is it, bug, that I can't figure this out?”

The bug bobbed in a passable picture of a shrug, then said “Because the Gods hosed you, that's why.”

Well, let me tell you, my Coffee just about shot right out of my mug! I fell backwards, terrified, and the bug zigged and zagged through the air close to my face. I swung my fist at it, but it zipped back, fast as a flash. Its tinny voice sounded irritated. “Hey, toots, ease up. You asked me so I'm telling you why. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way!” It flitted off, mumbling about ‘kids these days’and the instant I collected myself I took right after it! “Hey! I'm sorry I screamed, wait up! What do you mean!?” It ignored me and kept on, a point of light leaving trails in its wake.

I kept chasing it for what felt like hours, until the sky grew dark and I realized I had no idea where I'd ended up. The fields of Energy far above among the skylands crackled and hissed audibly even from here, and I knew rain would soon follow. I collapsed, exhausted, annoyed - and not a little bit frightened to be out here on my own. I may have even started sniffling, not that I would ever admit to that in public. Just before the Coffee began to fall, I spotted an intermittent flickering from a nearby cave and ran for it. Inside was shelter - and the little sprite I'd been chasing. He tensed when he saw me then flopped back against the Cardstone wall of the cave. “Alright, you caught me. What do you want?”

---
For a moment I just sat down next to him and caught my breath. We both sat in silence, listening to the rain, until I couldn’t take it anymore. “So… you can talk.” “Yup.” “Are you a spirit?” “No. Well… no. I’m what’s called a Kinetick, except that’s not quite true either. Call me Shot.” It extended a delicate looking wing, and I shook it. It tingled. I cleared my throat, working up to it. “So, Shot… what was that earlier you said? About the Gods?” He looked at me with a glum little face and, after a moment's thought, began a story.

“You know, I wasn't born in this body. A while back, when the Gods were still around, there was a big storm. Rain, lightning, and something else… a few people came out a little weird afterwards, y’see. My mother was one of them. Started talking nonsense, babbling in another tongue, and didn't recognize me neither. It made me right sad, and I didn't know how to handle it. When things calmed down a bit afterwards, I felt a little light in my noggin, like something calling out to me. I thought it was my ma, you know? So I closed my eyes, took a breath, and tried to go after her. Wherever she'd gone.”

He flickered involuntarily, his eyes distant. “When I opened them again, I was in the sky. As you can guess, I didn't handle that so good. I started falling, screaming and all that, and saw these… things coming for me. I tried to kick at them, but didn't have any legs, only these weird tendrils. They caught me and I yelled and cussed and they just watched me, patting my head all nice like. They were, I learned, the Esperegrine. You've probably seen them flying around up there, silhouetted against the Alternating Currents. Yeah, well, that's them. And that's where I found myself, in one of their bodies.”

My trunk curled in disbelief, and he scoffed. That couldn't be true. People didn't just become… something else by wishing for it. I should know. He buzzed in annoyance. “I'm not done yet. As you might notice, I'm not one of them.” I held up my hands in apology and he continued.

“So here I am, floating in the sky, surrounded by lunatics, and blue. They kept patting me and babbling, and they flew me to one of the skylands and set me down. They fed me stuff that I'd never heard of or seen before but that tasted amazing to my new body. I spent a few days just sitting there, watching all this wonderful, unexplainable stuff happening around me. And I found myself thinking, really thinking for the first time. Like there was a fog lifted from my mug that I didn't know was there. This world was so much bigger than I thought it was. So I learned their language and-”

“Wait, you were a Cappuccin!?”

“What? Yeah, keep up. Use context, babe. Anyhow I spent a while there and started to feel a little better about things, and that got me thinking. Something real weird happened to me, and I should feel something about that, right? Only I didn't feel scared - it was real easy to sort of slip into a relaxed buzz like I never felt as a Cappuccin. A feeling like everything would be okay, you know? And they knew stuff up there that we didn't, things about the Gods and this whole existence thing.”

---
We talked for hours, long after the rain had stopped. I was blown away by what he told me, and a little saddened too. There was all this world out there I'd never heard about, that I'd been hungering for as long as I remembered - and no one back home even cared. I told him so and he nodded. “The Gods cursed you. Only when I became something else was the fog lifted. I'm surprised you're even asking questions like this. Normally you lot are a little…” He tilted his head and waggled his abdomen to indicate something that didn't quite translate, but I got the jist. “The God COAL raised you - us - from animals, but something went wrong, or else they got distracted. The Esperegrine didn’t know, but they knew something happened, something that cursed our people. Only this wasn’t the end of it, see? They also made… the Pact.”

“I thought that was a myth!” I regretted it as soon as I said it. Obviously the Soul Pact was real, because here Shot was sitting in front of me, a Cappuccin in the body of a - “Hey, wait a second, you said you became an Es-Esperegrine! Why are you a Kin… a Kina… a bug?” “You want the story or not? Pipe down. I spent some time up there, but I’d gone for a reason. My mother. She must have done the same thing, or else been snapped up by the Pact. And it’s that that drove me nuts… was she taken from me, or did she leave me? I felt for that light in my head and pushed through… and ended up in this body. That was, oh, four months ago. Whoever’s body this was, I took it and ran. It’s fragile, but it’s fast. I’ll find her. I don’t dare risk the Pact again. Who knows what other crazy poo poo is out there… will I ever find her?”

---
Day, and I don’t think I slept a wink. Shot went dim at some point. I assume he’s sleeping and not dead, but what do I know. Cursed. The Cappuccin - all of them - cursed by a God. Out of ignorance, malice, or whatever, my whole People were rendered into Vapid fools. So foolish the other People knew about it. And, oh, yes, there were others. Kinetick, Divinante, and Esperegrine. And, uh, apparently those bovine Cardbeasts were also People? There were herds right outside my village, and they never once mentioned it. Then again, I never asked. My mug felt like it was going to crack. I was mad. I was determined. I was… I was… “Hey, Shot. Wake up.” The creature stirred, flickering faintly into wakefulness. “You and I are going to fix this curse, and then I’m going to help you find your mother.” “Oh yeah, how?” “We’ll figure it out as we go along!” “Pass.”

I grabbed him up, squeezing him like an Aspiraisin until his eyes bulged. “Listen, if I really am cursed, if the Gods ruined my People, then I’ll need an outsider to help me fix it. When I stumble, when I start getting distracted due to my stupid, swirling, turbid Coffee, I need you to keep me on track. They did this to us, so there has to be a way to undo it. So… so you’re going to help me, got it?”

His eyes slitted, and his abdomen began to glow and vibrate with a ferocious Energy that I had to try my hardest to contain. My Coffee began to bubble and steam, and I thought my mug would shatter apart, but I held on. It hit a sharp peak… then dropped away. He huffed and looked away, then chittered at me. “Aw, jeez. I’m drained. Do you mind… I can’t believe I’m asking this. Can I borrow some Energy?” “Will you help me?” “You’re out of your Gods damned m-” “Will you help me?” “...Fine.” “Go ahead then. Consider this the beginning of our partnership. Now do whatever you need. How do I give you - OW!”

His fangs or whatever jabbed right through my hand and stung like the dickens. I tried to shake him off but my whole arm went numb. And besides, I had made a deal. I would accept whatever discomfort I needed to see it through.

---
I never ended up going back to the village. There was nothing there for me, anymore, not knowing what I knew. Shot and I started wandering, uncertain where to start. First he told me everything he knew, everything he suspected. Then we started testing some suppositions. We’d have… debates, I guess you could call them. Philosophical discussions on the nature of the Land and its People, on the Gods. Whenever we got really into it, I’d get distracted, start drifting off, start thinking about just about anything else - and Shot would zap me one. After a few days of this with no real progress, Shot blew out a reedy sigh. “This is going to be a doozy.” I laughed, nudging him with an elbow and sending him tumbling. “I’m the one taking the lumps. It’s worth it… but we need to go bigger.”

• 1A - Shot told me of rumours of a strange force called Magic. I will seek a magic of my own!
  
• 1B - The deep places contain many mysteries, secrets from the earliest days. I will explore!
  
• 1C - The Esperegrine are full of knowledge. I will seek out their aid!
  
• 1D - The Kinetick are speedy and can speak across the vast plains. Perhaps they can help?
  
• 1E - The Divinante are strangers to my companion and I, and possibly hostile to boot - perhaps I will risk my life among them?
  
• 1F - The, uh, Trumpets seem nice enough. Maybe… they have some hidden knowledge. Very hidden. Somewhere.
  
• 1G - I will invoke the Soul Pact and swap my form for another. Shot and I will attempt to find eachother and continue our experiment. Gods only know whether we will find success.

Dog Kisser fucked around with this message at 14:09 on Sep 18, 2018

Yngwie Mangosteen fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Sep 17, 2018

After another wasted afternoon, I turned to Shot with the beginnings of a question in my mug. “Hey little guy, tell me again about Magic - about what's his name, Ace the Divinante.” Shot shook out of his reverie and flicked a spark my way in annoyance. “Mace. Yeah, what about him? “Like, what can be do? Can he, like, split the land and make skylands fall from the sky?”

“What? Girl, no - I thought you were Bitter, not Nutty. That’s God stuff.  I never met him, but I talked to Esperegrines that did. He and his little group were touring the land, seeking alliances with the other Peoples. He seemed genuine enough, but overall they found his whole presentation somewhat sinister. As an Esperegrine it was easy to overlook that and see the good in his words, but the longer I stew on it the more I wonder how much control he had over his underlings. Sorry, Magic. He did some tricks. Easy stuff, predictions of how random sheets of Cardstone would be marked, determining which side of a marked disk would show… but one day a skyland carver sliced too deep into the stone way overhead and a big chunk of it fell on him. Only - get this, he just kinda looked at it and it broke apart, and nothing hit him!”

“He was all embarassed but that more than anything else convinced the others that he was on the level and blessed by a God. I don’t know the fine details about their arrangement, but yeah, the Card Magic of Oddity is a real thing… why?”

I toyed with the rim of my mug, my fingers squeaking against the ceramic. “Do you think I could learn Magic?” “What, you think a few Card tricks are going break this curse?” “Not his Magic. My own. Like the power’s out there, right? The Gods are gone but Mace or whatever is still practicing his art, so it can't be, like, just from them? Can it?” Suddenly I'm unsure, and I feel foolish for even suggesting it. I tangle a blade of Switchgrass in my fingers, feigning distraction to hide my embarrassment. When I look up again Shot is considering me, tiny eyes inscrutable. “I think you've got something there, lady.”

---
And so we set off with the grand scheme of finding me a Magic of my own. A Magic, need I remind you, powerful enough to break a curse laid by a God. As if that wasn't daunting enough, neither of us had any idea how to go about it. For all it seemed like People had existed forever, it was easy to forget that we couldn't have been around for all that long, and as far as either of us knew I was the first one to ever try this. So that led to a lot of terribly embarrassing nonsense as we tried all kinds of invented rituals and superstitious techniques to get some sort of reaction out of me.

But we'd come this far, and we weren't going to turn around because we got some weird looks from passers-by. Our experimentations led us to wander all over the place, finding villages of Cappuccin I'd never heard of (idiots like everyone else), close-knit, nomadic bands of Divinante (unfriendly, but not hostile) and eventually a small pack of Kineticks and a herd of Trumpets. The former flashed Shot an excited burst of communication and the latter munched placidly on nearby vegetation.

The Kineticks engaged us in enthusiastic conversation that we were mostly too tired or too wary to really engage with, and offered to let us sleep with them for the night. It waaas getting dark and chilly, so we accepted. The Trumpets waddled into a loose circle and hunkered down, and the Kineticks nestled into soft places along their flock’s flanks. I shrugged and lay down against them, oddly comforted by their snuffling snores. Almost before I knew it, I was drifting off to sleep. My last thoughts before darkness closed over me was a fervent hope for Magic. Magic. Magic…

---
“Heya.”

I woke with a start. It was still dark, even the Alternating Currents dim and crackling for the moment. I groped around in the darkness for the source of the voice and was surprised to hear it rumbling from beneath me. “Oop, didn’t mean to wake ya. I was just thinkin’, ya know.” I mumbled something noncommital, but it took my answer as an excuse to keep talking. “You’re the first of those cupheads I’ve ever met. Hey, your God is my God too, ya know?” I nodded, mumbling that yeah, I was aware of that. The Trumpets’ relationship with the Cappuccin was basically non-existent, if not a little patronizing. Hard to respect a People who willingly served as another’s food source and pets, after all. But talking to one was a new experience for me.

It continued. “You just seemed sad. I just wanted to see what was bumming you out, see if me and the boys could help, ya know?” I was touched, but mostly I had to stifle Bitter laughter. I felt bad about it, but ultimately they were just dumb beasts and didn’t know anything that could help me with this, of all things. I scoffed, unable to help myself from that at least. “Oh, no biggy, just trying to break a divine curse by discovering some kind of crazy Magic on my own. Got anything for that?” The Trumpet was silent for a long time, and I thought it had fallen asleep, then it came back with: “Nope.”

Pleased to have stumped it (but somehow disappointed…) I settled back and closed my eyes. “But you know…” My eyes snapped open in irritation and my trunks clicked together. “...when I have a bad day I also go and have a mouthful of Magic Berries. Perks me right up.” Now I was wide awake. A thrill of purpose passed through me like one of Shot’s zaps and I scooched along the thing's broad back to get close to its face. “Magic Berries? What Magic Berries?” “Oh, they're rare. They fall from the sky sometimes and sprout up. Tasty little buggers, if you can find em. I'll show you tomorrow, if you have the time.” I insisted it tell me now but somehow - impossibly - it was already asleep, its snores Anywayjoining the chorus of the others.

I don’t think I got a wink of sleep that night.

---
When the whole gang stirred the next morning I was already ready to go. The puzzled Kineticks objected to my borrowing one of their cattle, but Shot did some kind of flickery wizardry that had them all laughing and they waved us off. “What did you tell them?” “That you were a wildwoman and a crazy fool wont to do crazy (but harmless) nonsense. I stand by all of that but the harmless bit - why the hell are we kidnapping this Trumpy?”

I just grinned, trunks spread wide, and gestured for him to follow. The Trumpet, true to his word, led us down a strange meandering path along the coast to an outcrop I hadn't noticed, windblown and sprayed by Coffee foam coming in off the Espressocean. And there, in a scraggly little bush, was a cluster of berries. Pale blue and luminescent, they almost thrummed with juicy Hope. “Tadah, Magic Berries! What do ya think?”

Slowly, almost reverently, I cupped one in my hand. Such a small thing. I chewed it thoughtfully, momentarily disappointed that it would be so bitter, so mundane… and then the visions started.

I felt something lift away from me, a pressure I didn't know was there, and I began to SEE and THINK in ways I didn't know were possible. I saw a future for not just me, but for my People as a whole, a way we could rise out from under the curse of Vapidity and truly begin to advance! And I ALSO knew this knowledge wasn't some mystical prophecy on my part, but a culmination of the observations I'd made over time, information I'd retained but not been able to assemble due to the nature of my mind - the nature of the minds of all my People! How much more could we accomplish if… if… it slipped away.

I knelt in the soil before the bush, all too aware of how few I had available to me. If I brought some home, carefully nurtured them… maybe I could even prepare them to make them last longer? I felt it. I knew my purpose, if only an echo of what I'd felt when riding that high. I carefully dug it up and showed Shot. “This is the answer to our problems, my friend. With this, I can break the curse.” Shot didn't understand, but he was excited for me. He looked a little sad, but this had to come first. My own Magic - my own, and my People's. I had a decision to make.

What Magic Do I Claim?

• 1A - I will bring the berries home and carefully shepherd them asking with my People. Our preparation of the reagent with our own personal Coffees will give rise to ELIXIRATION; HOPE MAGIC OF CONFIDENCE. This will, in time, break the curse, as well as giving us the means to improve ourselves with various tinctures and potions.
  
• 1B - I will bring the berries home and bid my People to seek out any others they may find across the land; we need as many as we can get to break the curse as soon as possible. Our single-minded devotion to the stuff will give rise to JITTURGY; COFFEE MAGIC OF ADDICTION. So long as we maintain a steady supply of the Berries, we will thrive and grow steadily in power and wisdom. As long as we never run out, we should be fine - and how could we with so many to find?

Dog Kisser fucked around with this message at 16:00 on Sep 21, 2018

Yngwie Mangosteen fucked around with this message at 06:50 on Sep 20, 2018