dumb lies to tell dumb tourists

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Stooge

"Behind me you can see Big Ben. Did you know Big Ben was built by a businessman called "Small Ben" who had an inferiority complex?

A truly inspirational tale that is a testament to what one can achieve with determination, grit, and �5,000,000."

# ? Aug 29, 2018 18:05

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 09:41

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Welcome to Broadway! Its sexist name is a bit of an anachronism. These days both broads and fellas are allowed on the stage.

# ? Aug 29, 2018 18:21

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

"so this is the smith plantation house, perfect for weddings or other events. it was created during the antebellum period when slaves and masters lived harmoniously and in perfect synchronicity."

# ? Aug 29, 2018 18:41

Stooge

The White House is not white, that's a popular misconception. It's actually a very light shade of beige.

# ? Aug 29, 2018 19:30

Farecoal: There he go

underneath the hard metal shell of The Bean is actual bean meat. will you be the first visitor to crack it open and access the Beany goodness within?

# ? Aug 29, 2018 21:52

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

There was a guy who did horse buggy tours in the tiny town I grew up in who told all the tourists that the Harlem Globetrotters lived in the house across the street from me.

# ? Aug 30, 2018 04:38

Macnult

*points towards guy passed out on a bench*
�that�s also where they filmed The Wire�

# ? Aug 30, 2018 04:50

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

It is said, on the night of the Full Moon, if you climb to the top of the Black Hills of South Dakota, you can see the asses of the Presidents on the other side

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Aug 30, 2018 05:49

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

I know exactly where Disneyland is.

----------------

# ? Aug 30, 2018 05:59

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

I love you.

# ? Aug 30, 2018 06:03

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

the name yellowstone comes from the shoshone language. ye- meaning yellow, and llowstone meaning rock, stone, or mountain (depending on context)

# ? Aug 30, 2018 06:32

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

drilldo squirt posted:

I know exactly where Disneyland is.

Jedrick posted:

I love you.

# ? Aug 30, 2018 07:15

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Jedrick posted:

I love you.

# ? Aug 30, 2018 08:34

barfdog

As a commuter I'm extremely glad to have you on my metro train.

https://i.imgur.com/FLpAnfS.mp4

# ? Aug 30, 2018 13:27

Robot Made of Meat

Those pyramids over there? Yeah, pretty impressive. And to think they were built just to store grain.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Aug 30, 2018 13:42

google THIS

Yes, Dayton is the home of the Wright Brothers, who were famous for passing out flyers for something so boring and pointless that people folded them into paper airplanes, eventually leading to the invention of real airplanes. The first ever plane is nicknamed the Wright Flyer for this reason.

# ? Aug 30, 2018 14:22

Gay Weed Dad: cool dude, flyin' high

Over there is Samuel Clemen's house, you might be more familiar with his pen name; "Mark Twain" or his Twitter handle "@Pu55y_Goku"

# ? Aug 30, 2018 15:57

FutonForensic

This is the inactive volcano of Pompeii, most remembered for its portrayal in the film "Dante's Peak"

# ? Aug 30, 2018 18:10

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

This is the house where "Pistol" Pat Pointreaux was born, inventor of the slap bass technique. Years ahead of his time, he was forcibly retired from the 1897 Cleveland Symphony for insisting on using his new style at all times.

# ? Aug 30, 2018 18:17

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

where those luxury apartments now stand, that used to be the place of old jonathan google's mill, where the google family fortune first started

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# ? Aug 30, 2018 23:42

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

Nosfereefer posted:

where those luxury apartments now stand, that used to be the place of old jonathan google's mill, where the google family fortune first started

in the 1800s googling was a term for milling wheat and before that the indians called it mazing

# ? Aug 30, 2018 23:47

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

back in those days data mining usually involved 14 hour shifts and child labour

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# ? Aug 30, 2018 23:47

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

phoenix is a great place to visit

# ? Aug 31, 2018 00:37

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

You're safe here.

# ? Aug 31, 2018 00:44

alnilam

Luvcow posted:

in the 1800s googling was a term for milling wheat and before that the indians called it mazing

# ? Aug 31, 2018 01:54

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Standing in front of one of those things where you put a coin in and the coin slowly spirals down, "Haven't you ever used one of these toilets before?"

# ? Aug 31, 2018 05:36

Macnult

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

You're safe here.

# ? Aug 31, 2018 06:29

Stooge

Boston harbour holds the Guiness World Record for world's largest cup of tea.

# ? Aug 31, 2018 07:08

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Stooge posted:

Boston harbour holds the Guiness World Record for world's largest cup of tea.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? Aug 31, 2018 13:41

indyrenegade: and that man's name? ENRICO FERMI

Massachusetts is literally just Boston. But you already knew that, didn't you?

thanks to manifisto for the sig!

# ? Aug 31, 2018 15:41

google THIS

indyrenegade posted:

Massachusetts is literally just Boston. But you already knew that, didn't you?

this also works for New York/NYC

# ? Aug 31, 2018 16:56

indyrenegade: and that man's name? ENRICO FERMI

google THIS posted:

this also works for New York/NYC

New York is the capital of New York City. Massachusetts is the capital of Boston. These are facts.

thanks to manifisto for the sig!

# ? Aug 31, 2018 17:01

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

"oh yeah sure i'm a local, what place are you trying to find?"

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# ? Aug 31, 2018 20:25

Manifisto

google THIS posted:

this also works for New York/NYC

lies, massachusetts includes cape cod/nantucket/the vineyard*, and new york includes the hamptons*

*seasonally; once the season is over they literally disappear

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Sep 1, 2018 14:47

indyrenegade: and that man's name? ENRICO FERMI

yes, I do ride my polar bear to work in these beautiful united states of canada

thanks to manifisto for the sig!

# ? Sep 2, 2018 00:52

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Manifisto posted:

lies, massachusetts includes cape cod/nantucket/the vineyard*, and new york includes the hamptons*

*seasonally; once the season is over they literally disappear

i was at cape cod at an age of 11 and have no memory of it.should i?

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# ? Sep 2, 2018 01:20

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

i am the man from nantucket. yes, THAT one

# ? Sep 2, 2018 01:47

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

Nosfereefer posted:

i was at cape cod at an age of 11 and have no memory of it.should i?

salt, sand and small scrub trees

# ? Sep 2, 2018 04:45

Twenty Four

canyoneer posted:

phoenix is a great place to visit

seasonally true/false, but its hell more then half the year

# ? Sep 4, 2018 09:33

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 09:41

Twenty Four

"Hey let me take you to this small hole in the wall place that only locals in the know go to, real neat little mom and pop joint, total authentic local treasure!"

*Takes you to Taco Bell*

# ? Sep 4, 2018 09:36

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