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I brought my Drake
Jul 10, 2014

These high-G injections have some serious side effects after pulling so many jumps.

Enchanted Hat posted:

Out of curiosity, what's the other one? It sounds like something I might enjoy!

I Fell from Grace. Two LPs that make you ask yourself, is the protagonist really going to be that stupid? Yes. Yes he is. Also, if Armand came up with a dish involving long pig, odds are it would be the least problematic part of the recipe. Human leg under a pile of cinnamon? Now that's haute cuisine!

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Fates End
Oct 17, 2009
I mean, flourless brownies are a thing, presumably by the same principles as flourless chocolate cake (being a baked custard), but I somehow doubt the devs were aware of that.

malkav11
Aug 7, 2009
The cake recipe has a whole tenth of a teaspoon of baking powder and 2 tablespoons of flour. Is Armand serving to mice?

Kitala
Sep 2, 2012

Not Some Opera Floozy

This update is full of wtfery, but how did Armand manage to find three apprentices who have no clue what a soufflé is? Those were clearly a banana split, a cheesecake, and a chocolate cake. :doh:

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Armand didn't exactly call any of them out on it.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Man, even the way Armand criticize all the apprentices, it sounds like he's completely gleeful at the prospect at ripping them apart - even the known harsh judges on cooking shows aren't quite as gleefully mean.

If the game was more clever, he'd be going for a fall that's entirely his own doing, but I don't trust this game to acknowledge he's a massive tool and rear end in a top hat.

Kitala
Sep 2, 2012

Not Some Opera Floozy

ultrafilter posted:

Armand didn't exactly call any of them out on it.

That’s a good point. If the people Armand hired knew how to cook, they’d never make his recipes.

Dire Chinchilla
Mar 27, 2013
Armand having absolutely no doubts, guilt or hesitation in regards to cheating on his wife is hilarious.

But personally, I still can't get over the fact that our new lover dresses like she just randomly rolled around in a laundry basket of a teenage girl from early 2000s.

Keldulas
Mar 18, 2009
I've been re-reading some of the previous updates for some more context on Michele and I'm just sort of flabbergasted by how much the game loving hates Delia for some reason. There's the outset where her dream is to run a coffee shop despite being a successful chef. Then all the game factors decide to make the coffee shops just an absolutely shittier version of restaurants. She has to beg Armand to help her out to mind the coffee shop for a bit while she goes on a business trip, and that's where Armand meets Michele, who he eventually cheats with.

It's really not helped that Michele's introduction is so much better than Delia's was in the first game. The conversations are just better, I can actually believe these are two people that like each other. They're also equals, and their conversations have some back-and-forth, whereas Delia has always been put up as a simpering inferior to Armand.

GirlCalledBob
Jul 17, 2013
I love how Armand is like 'if you really impress me, you might get a prize', quickly declares all three to be equally awful, picks one at random, and then just goes 'like I said, if you impress me, and I am super impressed! (by your food I said tasted like poo poo). Come run my expensive business venture!'

Bifauxnen
Aug 12, 2010

Curses! Foiled again!


GirlCalledBob posted:

I love how Armand is like 'if you really impress me, you might get a prize', quickly declares all three to be equally awful, picks one at random, and then just goes 'like I said, if you impress me, and I am super impressed! (by your food I said tasted like poo poo). Come run my expensive business venture!'

gotta keep those twists coming in reality TV I guess :v:

Psychotic Weasel
Jun 24, 2004

Bang! You're dead.
I think we all have to remember that in many of the conversations there are options (that have no bearing on the story, whatsoever) that range from Human With Manners <> Total Shithead and for the purposes of this LP all the options being chosen are from the latter option. You can, if you want, make Armand sound like a normal person who knows how to speak to other people normally. Why the game gives you this option I have no idea.

Much like the receipies we serve, the business models both Armand and Delilah follow seem only loosely based on reality but it's amazing how much ahead of the curve this game was in depicting what celebrity chefs and 'reality' TV cooking shows would be like. Though come to think of it, Armand wasn't filming for his show when he was berating those chefs...

Catalina
May 20, 2008



Enchanted Hat posted:

The Steam version is only like $5 from shady keysites, so unless it's that cheap, it's probably not a good deal?

idk, I'm probably a bad person to ask, I think this game's pretty great.

A couple pages ago, but I wanted to add to this, since I'm somewhat knowledgable about legitimately getting Steam keys at a discount, and I've been looking into getting a copy for myself, because I really want to play again, and play Restaurant Empire 2. Might as well pass my shopping tips along.
Is there any deal is a resource that lets you know which digital game sale sites have the current lowest price for the game you're looking for, as well as statistical data about how often the game goes on sale, and for how much. I think there's an alert feature for members when a game falls below a certain price, but I've been too lazy to try that. The sites listed are reputable, so you shouldn't have to worry about accidentally getting involved with a shady site that hacked a Steam account or something. Armand would be so disappointed
Right here is the link to information for Restaurant Empire 2. I'm going to try and pretend that bundle of classic tycoon games it's in for 68% off and for a total of $28.40 is not calling to me.

Another option is to go through the listings at Steam Trades and find someone who's has a key from the bundle and is wanting to sell or trade. Most prices seem to be under the Steam sale price of $4.99
This is the link to People with Restaurant Empire 2 to trade

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Psychotic Weasel posted:

I think we all have to remember that in many of the conversations there are options (that have no bearing on the story, whatsoever) that range from Human With Manners <> Total Shithead and for the purposes of this LP all the options being chosen are from the latter option. You can, if you want, make Armand sound like a normal person who knows how to speak to other people normally. Why the game gives you this option I have no idea.

Much like the receipies we serve, the business models both Armand and Delilah follow seem only loosely based on reality but it's amazing how much ahead of the curve this game was in depicting what celebrity chefs and 'reality' TV cooking shows would be like. Though come to think of it, Armand wasn't filming for his show when he was berating those chefs...

granted some of those options - like Delia saying she wants to run a coffee shop, none of those options sound not dickish.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances

Psychotic Weasel posted:

I think we all have to remember that in many of the conversations there are options (that have no bearing on the story, whatsoever) that range from Human With Manners <> Total Shithead and for the purposes of this LP all the options being chosen are from the latter option. You can, if you want, make Armand sound like a normal person who knows how to speak to other people normally. Why the game gives you this option I have no idea.

Much like the receipies we serve, the business models both Armand and Delilah follow seem only loosely based on reality but it's amazing how much ahead of the curve this game was in depicting what celebrity chefs and 'reality' TV cooking shows would be like. Though come to think of it, Armand wasn't filming for his show when he was berating those chefs...

I should point out that a surprising number of the lines that make Armand sound like a total rear end in a top hat were not conversation options. In the conversation with the three apprentice chefs, for example, you only get to choose the order in which you try out their dishes. Telling them that their food loving sucks is mandatory!

Psykmoe
Oct 28, 2008
Will Delia break up with Armand over his cheating (because she is a hysterical woman) and then Armand will have to leverage his restaurant empire and vast wealth to crush Delia's evil coffee shops before she can have her revenge on him??

Kitala
Sep 2, 2012

Not Some Opera Floozy

Psykmoe posted:

Will Delia break up with Armand over his cheating (because she is a hysterical woman) and then Armand will have to leverage his restaurant empire and vast wealth to crush Delia's evil coffee shops before she can have her revenge on him??

Delia will have to win back his love because he’s totally a keeper by making a 100% quality cinnamon crepe in some competition.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

WampaPartyEX posted:

"Juicing the mango" is now my favorite euphemism for the bullshit ingredients in this game and I cannot possibly explain why.

I like the way you think.

Dire Chinchilla posted:

Armand having absolutely no doubts, guilt or hesitation in regards to cheating on his wife is hilarious.

Seriously. It feels like Armand actually forgot he's married.

I also like how 'magnetic' this fella is; everyone seems to just fall all over themselves in yielding over to this cooking-gary-stu.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Kitala posted:

Delia will have to win back his love because he’s totally a keeper by making a quality 100% cinnamon crepe in some competition.

FTFY

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.


Blind me, because I will never again see something this beautiful and my eyes are unfit for quotidian visions of reality.

Also, holy poo poo Armand. This is definitely not the first time you've cheated on Delia, is it?

Zanna
Oct 9, 2012
Wait. Didn't Armand and Delia just get back from their honeymoon at the start of the game? And he's already cheating on her? Our protagonist, ladies and gents.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances
Episode 7: A sweet new restaurant



??? Aww, this is so cute! You guys look great together in this picture…

Yeah we do don't we? This was from our first vacation together in Bali. Armand 'officially' proposed to me that day…

??? Officially?

I've told you this before, don't you remember? Hmm… well, we talked about marriage for a while before we really decided to do it. And it took us a reaaally long time, or at least it took me a really long time to be sure.

Remember that time when Aunt Izzie wouldn't stop nagging me about Armand?

??? Oh sure, that was during Thanksgiving. She was soooo annoying everyone, asking everyone when you were getting married and having babies and everything. I guess you finally made her dreams come true.

Well not all of her dreams yet anyway… Actually I've been meaning to tell you something. I've got some big news…

??? What is it?



I'm home!


I included this second picture to show that for that entire conversation Armand was standing perfectly still in the doorway, listening in. You're a strange man, Armand.

Hey is that Julia I hear in there?

Okay shush! I'll tell you later.



Hey hon! How was work today?

Hi Armand!

It's been frustrating, we're not really progressing as well as I'd hoped. Hopefully, that'll change soon.

An apprentice heading up a whole restaurant by himself? Do you think that's such a good idea?

He is a little green on the business end of things. With some proper guidance I think he'll be okay though.

So how's my favorite sister-in-law doing?

Actually, Jules was just telling me about her graduation from CSCA. She topped her class and,

Del, stop that, you're embarrassing me!

Wow Jules, tops in the CSCA? You shouldn't be embarrassed by something like that. On the contrary, you should be proud of yourself. It's quite the achievement.

He's right, what are you being ashamed of? It's not like you didn't earn it.

Honey, I was thinking that maybe we could give Jules a little career push. She's an excellent pastry chef and…

… Del, c'mon stop that…

… and I thought maybe if we gave her a little support…

I'm a little unsure because of your inexperience Jules. But I do think it is worth the risk.

And besides, we still have that old property up at Via Palestro that we've put off renovating so…

Really you guys, you don't have to do this for me…

Oooh that's right, I forgot about that! That place is perfect to set up the new shop, what with the national library just around the corner, there'd be lots of customers there…

I don't really have much of a say in this do I?


I wish you did, Jules :(



Not really!

Not really!

Thanks you guys…



We now have a patisserie!

This is another type of specialised "restaurant" which similarly to the coffee shops serves a very particular niche. In traditional restaurants in this game, you have very different recipe types which vary a lot in quality and profitability. For example, mains and appetizers tend to be high quality and to have very high profit margins, whereas desserts and soups have very low profit margins. Recipes that Armand can cook in a pan can be pushed out very quickly, which massively boosts profitability, whereas recipes that have to be baked in the oven are very slow to cook, which results in very bad profitability.

Now we have a restaurant that only serves oven-baked desserts. :downsgun:



This is the interior. Now why would Armand and Delia have to renovate this place? I think the amoeba carpeting and hypnotic golden spiral wallpaper is rather fetching.

As usual, we have to get this place operational. Let's get to it!



Now, I'm on the record as being strongly against these bigger four-person tables, but they had pink leopard-patterned sofas, there was just nothing I could do.



By 12:00, exactly zero guests have showed up to eat at our new patisserie. Since I have to meet a revenue target to complete this mission, that's, uh, that's going to be a problem. I max out our advertising spend and deeply discount the entire menu.



You asked for the chef signora? How can I help you?

A little later, the game takes pity on us and sends a scripted guest to the patisserie. We still haven't had a single regular customer. Also, I don't know why Jules is calling people "signora". The restaurant is in Paris, and as far as I know she isn't Italian. Also that's a dude.

That's right Ms…

Julia. Just call me Julia signora. What seems to be the problem?

Oh no, nothing's the problem. Quite the contrary, I just wanted to give you my compliments on this excellent cake you made.

Oh you're very kind ma'am. It's great to hear that people are enjoying it.

Mmm… this is really very tasty…



There's no voice acting for conversations in this game, so I have nothing to inform this choice. I'm just going to imagine this guy has a cartoonishly strong Australian accent because that seems the funniest to me (by the way, sorry about this game's terrible lamingtons, Australia goons. I'm sure it's actually very nice!)

From your accent, I presume you're Australian?

Not at all. From Spain actually. Although I did live in the States for a while.

What brings you to Paris Mr…

Rodriguez. It's Cecil Rodriguez. I'm an interior designer traveling here to consult on a client's office interiors. It's a shame that I'm too busy dealing with that though, as I haven't experienced any of the sights just yet. I hear they're fantastic.

It's a bit of luck on my part to come across your little shop.

Here's my card.

Cecil Rodriguez. Concept Furniture.

I'm currently based in Paris. If you ever have the time or feel the urge to perk up your shop's ambiance, just come by and visit us. We can talk more about it there.


Visit an interior designer? Sure, why not. Seeing as we have literally no customers, we might as well!



Hallo Monsieur!


Oh, it's just this place again.

Hello Madame, my name is Clayton Howell. How may we serve you t'day?

I'm looking for Mr. Cecil Rodiguez, Mr. Howell.

I see. Please wait right here. I'll get him for you.



Julia! Hello, how nice of you to come.

I was intrigued by what you said to me earlier, Cecille. I'd love to hear your ideas on how we can improve the look of my pastry shop.


At this point, I'm not sure whether Jules is genuinely supposed to have some sort of inability to tell people's genders, or if the people who made this game just never did any QA on their dialogue whatsoever.



Have a look at this then… I thought of this concept pretty much right after we saw each other. The idea is to bring out the sweet quality of your dessert to the exteriors of your store. And I think this would do greatly in that regard. What do you think?

This looks great. How soon can we start construction on this?

As soon as you want it Julia.

Great. I'll have a quick talk with my investors and I'll get right back to you.


I'm not buying you a castle for your terrible, unprofitable patisserie, Jules.



A guest at Delia's First Coffee Shops has an intriguing proposition for us.





Woah! The legendary Restaurant Empire simulation software?? That's like the world's greatest cookbook! This is the ultimate, most powerful item in the game for improving a chef's skill. Buying this will let us significantly boost a chef's skill with every single recipe in every cuisine! $100,000 is a small price to pay for such an unparalleled piece of software! I buy it immediately.



Unfortunately, paying $100,000 for Restaurant Empire put a big dent in our cash pile. I don't like being below $100,000 in cash in this game since someone might come and offer us an amazing recipe or something, so I'll have to go a bit further into debt. Another $100,000 should do for now, we're still well below our credit limit.



It's 3 PM, and we're at least getting a couple of guests at the new patisserie. Probably not enough to reach our revenue target, but I'm hoping that if I keep throwing good advertising money after bad, I'll eventually turn this place around.



I forgot to check this out until now, but at the end of the last mission we unlocked a new French dessert from our recipe research. I don't know why our French dessert research is more advanced than the other research topics, somehow it got out of sync. It's a nice recipe with a good quality rating. Unfortunately, our recipe for fruit gratin with almonds, another French dessert, is just way better at a 77% quality rating, so we don't really need this.



I also buy this recipe for hot chocolate from a customer at Delia's First Coffee Shop. Delia, please don't make hot chocolate with chocolate syrup, that's just terrible :(.



Shortly after, a guest sells us this breakfast recipe for $76,545. But the joke's on her, we paid $102,060 for this crappy recipe back in Restaurant Empire 1! Our guests are getting soft on us.



Unfortunately, that depletes most of our cash again, so I have to borrow another $100,000. Not too many more recipes, guys! Please?



As if to taunt me, another guest immediately sells me this recipe for another $18,000 or so.



Another recipe, another $43,740. Armand's going to have to take out some more credit cards if this keeps up.



To save some money, I swap the violinist at Treize à Table for a country singer named "Keith Rural" who will perform for beer and spare change. It's not like our guests will notice.



It's a good thing I saved that money, because a guest then sells us the recipe for our dear old friend, the seafood quiche! Once you discover the optional ingredients, this is one of the best desserts in the game. Why is the seafood quiche a dessert? :iiam:



At the end of the month, our goal report shows that we didn't come close to meeting our targets for the new Patisserie. Not only was our revenue too low, but the game simply does not give you anywhere near enough customers to meet the goal!

In order to make it at least a little fair, the game does give you a long time to try to meet the goal. Let's keep at it!



It's month two, and we seem to be getting a few more customers, but our performance took a big hit because I had to close the restaurant down and expand the kitchen. The kitchen porter was blocking the way to the oven and was refusing to move, which meant that no food could be served all morning and early afternoon. Kitchen logistics is a big problem in this game. This is very unfortunate, because I love to optimise layouts for maximum efficiency, but that tends to increase the risk of situations like that. If I could put the kitchen porter in a separate building, I would.



But enough griping, we've researched some new coffee shop recipes! This is our new tea, basic iced black tea with lemon. It's got nice quality, so I'll definitely add it.



This is our new mixed drink.



And this is the new coffee shop food recipe. It's just cheese, lettuce and tomato drowned in mayonnaise.



Back at I Heart Cake, we are very slowly climbing our way towards the goal. This is despite closing the restaurant for a significant part of the day, so I'm optimistic about this.



We also researched this new American dessert. This would normally be useless since we don't have any American restaurants, but this one can also be served in patisseries! However, I can't add it to the menu just yet, because it would compete with a much more profitable recipe. I'll probably add it later once we get more customers and I Heart Cake is more sustainable.



After a few more months of very expensive advertising, we've almost reached our goals. We surpassed the goal of $28,000 in revenue, and we had 37 customers per day, just shy of the 40 customer target. I expect we'll reach that in the next month or the one after that.

To celebrate, let's go on another date with Michele!



…I can't believe you really did that Armand. I bet they're probably very mad at you for pulling a prank like that…

No, we're all good. George was a little upset for a few hours, but he mellowed down after a while, he hee…

…with all the hijinx you pull on that show, I'm surprised you guys actually get any work done. But seriously Armand, how has the show been doing?

Things are looking good for us right now. The second show received even better ratings than the pilot. George is optimistic so I'm confident we'll do well in the next few weeks…

Hey want to know a secret?

You know how much I love secrets!

We got Tim Brumann to guest spot on our next show.

Ooh, I loved him in the Seven Kingdoms. I saw it on a test screening in Los Angeles during my business trip. I thought he was great in that. How did George get him?

Well George told me the other networks were eagerly trying to land him on their talk shows on the same timeslot. But Tim, apparently, was somewhat of a regular in one of my restaurants before he hit it big. I'm told he's a big fan of my cooking. So I guess that's what clinched it for us.



Well, I'm happy for you… Hey, what do you say we get out of here, hmm?

Michele…

… you've read my mind exactly.





Good evening everyone. As you all probably know, our show has been gaining a consistent audience since we first started streaming on the airwaves. And with that audience comes heaps and heaps of mail, housing all your comments, suggestions and feedback.

Today we are going to address one of your main concerns, and that is the lack guests on the show. We have a very big surprise for you today. Everyone, I'd like you to meet Hollywood's currently most talked about star. Please welcome Mr. Tim Brumann!

Well Tim, you seem to be getting quite the reception from the audience…


In case you were wondering: no, there is no sound effect to represent the audience, nor any audience for that matter.

Haha… yeah, it's really wild man… I've experienced some pretty good ovations from before. But the audience here, man, they're awesome!

So the first thing that Tim is going to help us with today is my recipe for the Lobster Thermidor…

Ooh… I like lobster…

Oh I know you do Tim, which is why I selected this dish especially for you… Did you know that Lobster Thermidor actually got its name from Napoleon? That's right. He named the dish after the month on which he first tasted it…



And Tim fucks off to let Armand do all the cooking matching.



Our second dish for today is what I would call a sprinkle-and-bake dish. Basically you prepare herbs and spices that will give character to your dish, sprinkle the mixture on your main ingredient, in this case, the fish, bake in an oven, and wala: a perfect meal served.

So Tim, are you ready for this?

I'm good to go Armand!



Luckily, although they keep switching up the layouts, these Bejeweled stages aren't really getting harder.



I would like to thank our very special guest tonight: Mr. Tim Brumann

Thanks for having me Armand!

Remember to catch him this week on your local Cineplex. The movie is Seven Kingdoms. I've seen it and I'll vouch for it. It's as good as all the critics say it is!

Again for our final thought, just remember: a dash of creativity and a pinch of variety is the wonderful blend to a satisfied stomach! See you everyone!



A couple of months later, we barely scrape by on our revenue and customer goals! It's almost as if the patisserie isn’t awful now.

Okay, now for the important part, let's jazz up this place!




These are the wall, floor and table options for the patisserie.




These are the wall- and floor-mounted decorations. Those giant bright shapes are supposed to be shaped flan, which is kind of cute.



Since we don't have any customers anyway, we could also place some of the larger tables. These are the unique large tables. There are also larger versions of the regular two-person tables.

Thread poll: what décor should we have in I Heart Cake?

Vote on wall, floor and table design. For example, to vote for wall type C, floor type D and table type B, vote "CDB". The winning combination will be whatever has the most votes when I play the next mission. Also, let me know if you want me to add any of the floor or wall decorations.

Enchanted Hat fucked around with this message at 15:43 on Sep 19, 2018

Leraika
Jun 14, 2015

Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
I'm FED up with restaurants that don't have a flan-inspired shrine to Armand.

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?

I love when I goto a restaurant and get 3 pounds of potatoes on my plate for 10 dollars

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?
Vote: BBD, plus, add as many of the 'Six-Pointed Star' table-things as you can.

I want the whole restaurant to look as pink as a Princess Cake!!!

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

Jaxxon: Still not the stupidest thing from the expanded universe.



I mean, offering Della's sister a restaurant right outta culinary school isn't a lovely move? But forcing it, then going to cheat on your wife really ups the shittiness Armand.


Also, TBH, I expected the mystery woman at the start to be Armand's sidechick, not Della's sister, and for it to explode then and there,

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Oh gently caress, Delia's pregnant. Goddamnit Armand.

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
Go full hypnobakery with AEB. Maybe we can hypnotize the customers into making it semi-profitable.

Psychotic Weasel
Jun 24, 2004

Bang! You're dead.
Those are some terrible options. But how could we not go with BBD in our new pastry shop/teenage girl's bedroom from the 80s?

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances

bunnyofdoom posted:

I mean, offering Della's sister a restaurant right outta culinary school isn't a lovely move? But forcing it, then going to cheat on your wife really ups the shittiness Armand.

I just wish they hadn't forced a restaurant onto her because then I wouldn't have had to manage her terrible patisserie. It's a lovely move against me.

Keldulas
Mar 18, 2009

Enchanted Hat posted:



And this is the new coffee shop food recipe. It's just cheese, lettuce and tomato drowned in 120g of mayonnaise.

You say the cheese is part of being drowned in mayonnaise, but there's almost as much cheese as mayonnaise. It's still an awful awful salad, mind you.

Armand's still a shithead for cheating, but I still say his dates sound more natural and cute than any of his interactions with Delia had ever been.

Aesculus
Mar 22, 2013

Hey, at least it has lettuce and tomato unlike our garden salad. A whole head of lettuce, apparently.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

habeasdorkus posted:

Oh gently caress, Delia's pregnant. Goddamnit Armand.

I'd be really shocked if she isn't pregnant.

Psychotic Weasel
Jun 24, 2004

Bang! You're dead.

Keldulas posted:

You say the cheese is part of being drowned in mayonnaise, but there's almost as much cheese as mayonnaise. It's still an awful awful salad, mind you.

The worst part about this salad is that it could conceivably be an actual salad you find at a Wendy's or some other cheap crap fast food place. But it would cost ~$3.50 to order, not as much as a whole bloody meal.

Is this universe like Demolition Man and the only god drat place you can eat is Taco Bell or something?

Mr. Fall Down Terror
Jan 24, 2018

by Fluffdaddy
gotta go AEA for the walls and transparent furniture to ensure nothing blocks out the calming, orienting spiral effect. cinnamon rolls... pastry swirls... ring cakes, baumkuchen, why, my mouth is watering already thinking about it!

VivaLa Eeveelution
Apr 3, 2011

Enchanted Hat posted:

I just wish they hadn't forced a restaurant onto her because then I wouldn't have had to manage her terrible patisserie. It's a lovely move against me.

That's what you get for Armand cheating on his husbandwife. He passes the consequences for his lovely life choices onto everyone.

I don't know how he could go out with another woman...while she wears a scarf in OmniFood Purple. That's the most innocent and utterly petty reason possible, actually. He gets her in the mood to undress, she doffs the scarf, he 'gets an attack of guilt' and leaves, 'accidentally' taking the scarf with him in order to burn it. Because Armand.

habeasdorkus posted:

Oh gently caress, Delia's pregnant. Goddamnit Armand.

And he interrupted her just before she could say it, too. I like to think she's been trying to tell him for weeks but he keeps cutting her off. Possibly on purpose because Armand.

AEB with green booths. For the sake of the majority of our restaurants, we need to make the idea of oven-baked desserts as nauseating as possible, so spiral pattern walls, spiral pattern floors, and loud af seating so customers' eyes get no respite.

Nondevor
Jun 1, 2011





catposting
Getting some major Red Room
vibes from wallpaper B. Let’s go BCA (with the majority of seating as the large black sofas). Maybe some Deadly Premonition artwork on the walls?

Also Armand, don’t think that I didn’t catch you saying “wala” instead of voilà, how can you get your native French wrong

Aesculus
Mar 22, 2013

Psychotic Weasel posted:

Is this universe like Demolition Man and the only god drat place you can eat is Taco Bell or something?

This was basically the plot of the first game. Armand and co teamed up with the mob to get close to food critics, price independent restaurants out of the business and force a company selling good food cooked by passionate chefs at a low price to shut down.

Also they were the protagonists of the game somehow.

LordHippoman
May 30, 2013

I, frankly, want this smug Jagen to be my avatar on all forms of social media immediately.

Aesculus posted:

This was basically the plot of the first game. Armand and co teamed up with the mob to get close to food critics, price independent restaurants out of the business and force a company selling good food cooked by passionate chefs at a low price to shut down.

Also they were the protagonists of the game somehow.

I think what makes these games so fascinating is that they made a ton of these random "tycoon" games back in the 2000's, most of them were pretty bad (I will stick up for Roller Coaster and Zoo forever though) and bare-bones, but this series has this kind of wonderfully bizarre plot that makes it feel kinda special.

I know it's partially the LP/thread's doing that we've turned Armand into a goofy egomaniac, but it doesn't seem impossible. :allears:

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Nyeehg
Jul 14, 2013

Grimey Drawer
Voting for AEA. Make it impossible for the guests to not see a spiral.

I read through both threads in a day and am loving this LP. The insanity on display has been a joy to behold. What are the odds that Armand gets his mistress pregnant?

If I had any skill with photoshop I would provide an edit of Gustav Klimts The Kiss replacing the mans head with Armands to hang in the inevitable shrine he demands as thanks for forcing a restraunt onto someone who clearly didn't feel ready. Alas.

Either way I look forward to seeing what delights you cook up for us :allears:.

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