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super macho dude
Aug 9, 2014




My BUDK catalog arrived and now I am ready to face the liberal/immigrant/U.N. Forces Invasion/Reptilian/gay frog zombie horde apocalypse that is inevitable because the bible code says so. Yes, I will be fully prepared in a manner that is both bad-loving-rear end AND wholesale warehouse priced affordable. Don't believe me? Eat my MRE induced poo poo, loser...

CHECK THIS BAD BOY OUT

That twisty knife is awesome and designed for maximum penetration and a firm throbbing hot stabbing action. Plus its red. Which is cool.

HOLY gently caress LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS KNIFE!

And don't sleep on that mystery sword grab bag, theres no such thing as too many swords imo.

FIRE & ICE DUAL WIELD +2 dmg (+1 offhand)

Legends tell of a man who roams the Wasteland, fat of body bearded of neck, who commands both hot AND cold in the form of black anodized steel.

WARNING ADULT USE ONLY

The last person I would ever want to gently caress with, or approach, is a man with a skull accented walking stick. You never know what secrets lie underneath the cold brassy gaze of that skeltin knob.

THIS GUY FUCKS

And you can too if you buy from BUDK.

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Sir Not Appearing
Apr 26, 2004



EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!


The OP plays nothing but sword throw levels on Happy Wheels.

Two Ton 21
Dec 6, 2009

by FactsAreUseless


Like 98% of the fat fucks who post on SA don't have a Gil Hibben knife already.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.



Grimey Drawer

Does it have any axes?

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015


gently caress yeah the cover is a goring tool.

super macho dude
Aug 9, 2014




BUDK STYLE SECRETS

Wear an awesome tshirt that shows the rest of the world how edgy and martial you are:


Alternatively, wear a tshirt that shows your loving pride and maximum maneuverability, bitch:


The more rings the better, MORE RINGS=MORE FREEDOM


Awesome skullface backpack to hide your mystery grab bag of neon green cavalry swords, throwing knives, caltrops, and Bawls to the Madden tournament.


If you don't have an armor of God amulet on your person at all times, what the gently caress are you even doing!?

1redflag
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


My wife's sister had a roommate who collected knives. I told her she should break her lease ASAP before the dude murdered her. After a few awkward interactions with the guy, she followed my advice.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.



Grimey Drawer

Please show the full mace/morningstar thing.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015


super macho dude posted:

BUDK STYLE SECRETS

Wear an awesome tshirt that shows the rest of the world how edgy and martial you are:


Alternatively, wear a tshirt that shows your loving pride and maximum maneuverability, bitch:


The more rings the better, MORE RINGS=MORE FREEDOM


Awesome skullface backpack to hide your mystery grab bag of neon green cavalry swords, throwing knives, caltrops, and Bawls to the Madden tournament.


If you don't have an armor of God amulet on your person at all times, what the gently caress are you even doing!?


I like the reaper with the cards one, id sport that poo poo.

super macho dude
Aug 9, 2014




goatface posted:

Does it have any axes?

WHAT THE gently caress YOU THINK!?


Shockingly, that's it.Theres also a "tactical" shovel that you can swing into the heads of poor people trying to steal all freeze dried food I guess

But look at this big gently caress off mace!

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


super macho dude posted:

But look at this big gently caress off mace!


Sweet momma

Edit- I hope 'removable spikes' isn't just code for 'yeah these things break off real easy'

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012



I wouldn't pay less than $100 for a cane sword, what the gently caress do you take me for op & BUDK?

plape tickler
Oct 20, 2012

by Nyc_Tattoo


I bought throwing stars and a butterfly knife at the mall when I was 13 or 14.

https://www.reddit.com/r/mallninja/

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.



Grimey Drawer

Those are bad axes. The lockpick gun looks fun.

Jst0rm
Sep 16, 2012


Grimey Drawer

super macho dude posted:

WHAT THE gently caress YOU THINK!?


Shockingly, that's it.Theres also a "tactical" shovel that you can swing into the heads of poor people trying to steal all freeze dried food I guess

But look at this big gently caress off mace!


i wouldnt mind having a mace for home defense but that thing looks like it would bend on first impact.

super macho dude
Aug 9, 2014




DECORATE YOUR FREEDOM HOLE!


Sadly does not come grandfather clock sized.

I want skulls everywhere you look, everywhere you turn, I want my house to look like a sharezone post.

BONE SMUGGLER PILOT

The average BUDK patron is combat ready tough, but also sensitive.


Once I spiritually cleanse my ammo crafting/knife sharpening room, the lower dimensional reptilian archons will have NO CHOICE but to convince my wife that I'm not crazy and to come back to me.

BOGO

Who the gently caress needs TWO rebel flags?

Frame this above your rebel flags.

Plus you can smoke mad weed out of it. Change your name to Big Chief Smokem Doinks. Get crazy budk pussy.

Smythe
Oct 12, 2003

no meds = f4


Jst0rm posted:

i wouldnt mind having a mace for home defense

lmfao

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.



Grimey Drawer

Just put some nails through a bat.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

Everyone around here just keeps a baseball bat by the front door and I've always assumed if someone rushed your door and your cracked em one with it the cops wouldn't give you much hassle about it but if you had one of those giant maces would you most likely get in trouble for it couldn't you just be like oh I had that by the door because I was headed out for a cosplay this afternoon thank goodness too

Inzombiac
Mar 19, 2007

PARTY ALL NIGHT, EAT BRAINS ALL DAY



I bought some stuff from from BudK when I was a dipshit teenager.

One was a sword with a sheathe made from literal cardboard. Pretty sure it's the same from the QVC video where it breaks and stabs the dude.

I got a sword cane where the wood was just one notch above balsa. The metal was actually sharp and flexible but somehow rusted while sitting in my room. It's not a humid climate.

I was gifted some of those throwing cards. It was just pressed aluminum with some suits barely printed on. They threw like poo poo, obviously.

Same person gave me a glaive, like in the movie Blade but it had three blades.
Absolutely worthless. Impossible to use for any purpose whatsoever.

One pocket knife that was actually really good for a few years.

I know someone that buys up every single product from that Zombie defense line. They are black and neon green. Dude can't even jog a mile but he's ready for doomsday, I guess.

Smythe
Oct 12, 2003

no meds = f4


IT guy by day, medieval warrior by night.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.



Grimey Drawer

I prefer forestry tools.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

For the record if someone rushed my door safe bet is I immediately fall down and start crying and peeing

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.



Grimey Drawer

If it's anything like the last time someone kicked down my front door, I'll roll over and go back to sleep.

super macho dude
Aug 9, 2014




I remember as a kid my dad used to get this catalog that was similar to BUDK but had less knives & swords and way more Tough Dad tshirts and redneck poo poo like bull penis canes, piss jugs, and rebel flag emblazoned decorations. It sold a stuffed jackalope and a full sized taxidermied rattlesnake but my bitch rear end dad never bought them for me

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

STILL ANGRY ABOUT CHEESE


super macho dude posted:

I remember as a kid my dad used to get this catalog that was similar to BUDK but had less knives & swords and way more Tough Dad tshirts and redneck poo poo like bull penis canes, piss jugs, and rebel flag emblazoned decorations. It sold a stuffed jackalope and a full sized taxidermied rattlesnake but my bitch rear end dad never bought them for me
Imagining a sword cane, but you unsheathe it and it's a bull penis. For the man so confident he's going to win a fight, he carries something to gently caress the loser with.

Action-Bastard
Jan 1, 2008



I used to be a big fan of BudK:

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

ASK ME ABOUT MY MICRO PENIS


criscodisco posted:

Everyone around here just keeps a baseball bat by the front door and I've always assumed if someone rushed your door and your cracked em one with it the cops wouldn't give you much hassle about it but if you had one of those giant maces would you most likely get in trouble for it couldn't you just be like oh I had that by the door because I was headed out for a cosplay this afternoon thank goodness too

You could legally have a 20mm anti tank rifle pointed at your door and blow someone in half if you felt "threatened" because in that situation, in theory, if you use a weapon its because you have no other option. In fact - again, in theory - having a baseball bat is considerably more violent than a cannon because its "less lethal" and therefore infinitely more likely to be used inappropriately while simultaneously aggravating any actual life threatening situation to the point where you actually might get killed over it.

I keep saying in theory however because none of this matters due to improbabilities of the average person facing a life threatening situation they can rectify themselves at their front door. So keep your bat, its for your mental health and not your actual health, and if you want a mace you should get a mace because it tells everybody that walks through your door what youre all about and thats just good customer service

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 7, 2007

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

I'm the mace/whistle combo on that one page

Inzombiac
Mar 19, 2007

PARTY ALL NIGHT, EAT BRAINS ALL DAY



I just love all the dumbass redneck garbage mixed in with the hippie crystals.

What is their market?!

oh dope
Nov 2, 2006

No guilt, it feeds in plain sight



That top shirt is loving intense

Vato
Jan 14, 2018



What is this "No ship" business?

Vato
Jan 14, 2018



Inzombiac posted:

I just love all the dumbass redneck garbage mixed in with the hippie crystals.

What is their market?!

It's you...unless you are in a "no ship" state.

Johnny-on-the-Spot
Apr 17, 2015

That feeling when he opens
the door for you


No joke, a dude I used to smoke with actually kept a spiked mace he bought at renfaire by his front door, he smoked out of that ax pipe till the handle broke, and kept his full sword collection at his moms house.

Op, are they still offering the copper drum/distillery kit I saw in last years holiday issue?

Jose Mengelez
Sep 11, 2001


@dasharez0ne's merch blitz getting out of hand imo

elmer chud
May 18, 2018
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Vato posted:

It's you...unless you are in a "no ship" state.

Those states have laws forbidding the sale or possession of those items, probably.

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008



I got some dumb surplus catalogs when I was in high school, though never bought anything. BudK made those things look almost classy by comparison.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless


Young Orc

criscodisco posted:

Everyone around here just keeps a baseball bat by the front door and I've always assumed if someone rushed your door and your cracked em one with it the cops wouldn't give you much hassle about it but if you had one of those giant maces would you most likely get in trouble for it couldn't you just be like oh I had that by the door because I was headed out for a cosplay this afternoon thank goodness too

I think that would be a perfectly plausible excuse for many of the people here. Just put on your cape before you call the cops anf youre good

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Jose Mengelez
Sep 11, 2001


Inzombiac posted:

I just love all the dumbass redneck garbage mixed in with the hippie crystals.

What is their market?!

mystical bullshit's extremely in the wheelhouse of peabrained bumpkins.

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