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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



____________________________

Raw Results:
  • Renee Young was on commentary :woop:
  • BRAUN! opened the show with Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre to run down the crowd and insist he was going to dismantle Roman Reigns at Hell in a Cell and become the Universal Champion. Drew McIntyre declared they were the new Kings of the Jungle in WWE, and Ziggler said they would be the most dominant faction in WWE history.
  • The Shield showed up and started brawling with BRAUN! Drew and Dolph. Baron Corbin sent the entire roster out to break them up and the whole thing descended into (enjoyable) chaos as they all just refused to stop fighting and it spilled out up the rampway to the back.
  • The Shield were arrested backstage and driven away as the roster had to be restrained from beating the poo poo out of each other and Corbin desperately tried to maintain order.
  • The Bella Twins returned for the first time in three years to have a match against The Riott Squad. They eventually defeated them.
  • Baron Corbin was on the phone backstage discussing The Shield when Finn Balor approached him to demand a rematch, without tricks or games, where they just faced each other prepared to find out who the better man truly was. Corbin agreed, saying they would face off in the main event.
  • Bobby Roode and Chad Gable are now a tag team, with Gable's reasoning being that Roode always seems to get attention and he wants a part of that.
  • Gable and Roode defeated The Ascension, with Roode being incredibly excited to see how loving good Chad Gable is.
  • Elias came out to do a concert lamenting being slapped by Trish Stratus last week, and poking fun at Columbus' local sports mascot. His concert was broken up by Alexa Bliss, Alicia Fox and Mickie James, with Alexa talking up that she came from Columbus before turning on them and mocking the city.
  • Ronda came out to be in Nattie's corner during a match against Alexa Bliss. Alexa was able to submit Nattie, then tried to jump Ronda from behind when she checked on her. Ronda got the drop on her, fought off Alicia Fox who tried to aid her but then got her knee taken out by Bliss and tossed into the stairs. Ronda was still able to fight her off but was left hurting.
  • Baron Corbin was lambasting a stagehand backstage when BRAUN! Drew and Dolph showed up to demand a tag title shot for Drew and Dolph. Corbin reminded them that The Revival were supposed to get the next title shots, but Drew and Dolph noted that maybe the Revival might suddenly find themselves unable to compete and walked away. BRAUN! warned Corbin to find him some competition.
  • Dolph and Drew took out The Revival backstage as they were being interviewed.
  • Dolph and Drew defeated (eventually) The B Team to become the new Tag Team Champions. The B Team were able to hold their own against them for quite some time.
  • The Authors of Pain were walking backstage... with DRAKE MAVERICK!?!

    Abroham Lincoln posted:



    MY BEAUTIFUL SON

  • Drake Maverick announced that in addition to being 205 Live General Manager, he is now managing the Authors of Pain. They destroyed a couple of jobbers.
  • Nattie was backstage with Ronda, complaining about feeling numb and not herself. The Bellas pulled Ronda aside to congratulate her on her success and thank her for inspiring them to return to WWE, and offered their assistance if she ever needed it.
  • Shawn Michaels returned to talk up HHH/Taker in Australia, making the prediction that HHH would win because he has more left in the tank than Taker. Undertaker made a surprise return and the two went back and forth doing an incredible build for a potential Undertaker/HBK match... before ending with the confirmation it would be Taker/HHH in Australia and not the far more interesting and compelling potential match they spent the entire time talking about.
  • Baron Corbin told Finn Balor that he'd been so busy doing paperwork that he hadn't been able to prepare for his match. As a result, he was dropping out of the main event, but Balor would still get that top spot: against BRAUN!
  • It was "reported" that The Shield have been charged with inciting a riot and will appear before a judge.
  • Sasha and Bayley defeated Dana Brooke and Ember Moon, with Dana insisting she had this to her Titus Worldwide buddies then promptly getting pinned. She was furious and stormed out on both of them afterwards.
  • Bobby Lashley left Baron Corbin's office having been given a performance review, and instructed to attend a meditation session with Jinder Mahal in the ring tonight.
  • Lashley was having fun lowkey mocking Jinder's meditation efforts when Kevin Owens returned and beat the poo poo out of him.
  • Triple H will respond to the Taker/HBK confrontation next week. Perhaps to admit that HBK/Taker in Australia would be way cooler.
  • Finn Balor faced BRAUN! in the main event, which lead to some interesting commentary calls.
  • Abroham Lincoln posted:

    "he's too big, too thicc" -- michael cole 2018
  • Finn put up a good fight but, of course, got beaten by BRAUN! who hooked the leg but made a point of a nonchalant cover.
  • The crowd just kind of quietly murmured amongst themselves as Ziggler and Drew helped BRAUN! put more of a beating on Finn and prepared to drop him onto the steel steps when a siren sounded.
  • The Shield returned in the police van they were taken away in (but they were reported as appearing before a judge?) and started heading to the ring to fight when half the roster (the heels) charged down and jumped them from behind, lead by a furious looking Kevin Owens.
  • BRAUN! smashed Roman with the stairs, Ambrose was beaten up on the announce table, and Seth was tossed off the ramp into the police van and then had his face smashed into the doors.
  • BRAUN! Drew and Dolph got back into the ring while the heel roster circled around the laid out bodies of The Shield. The crowd kind of booed but mostly just sat on their hands through most of this.
____________________________

Smackdown Results:
  • Renee Young opened the show to interview Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella, and they recapped the angle last week where Miz and Maryse joined Andrade "Cien" Almas and Zelina in jumping them from behind and putting a beating on them. Miz and Maryse were shown to have been in the ring earlier in the day to "call out" Daniel and Brie. Bryan and Brie returned the favor, calling them out, but were informed that Miz and Maryse had already left and were currently dining at a local restaurant.
  • Almas and Zelina came out, with Almas saying he enjoyed beating up Bryan so much he wanted to do it again. The two proceeded to have (surprise, surprise) a hell of a match, with Bryan eventually beating Almas. Afterwards Bryan and Brie decided they were hungry too and were going to go to the same restaurant as Miz and Maryse.
  • Tom Phillips interviewed Charlotte (mixed reaction) and Becky (huge pop, chants) in separate rooms about their upcoming Hell in a Cell match.
  • Naomi defeated Peyton Royce, effectively negating their recent matches. Afterwards Billie and Peyton double-teamed Naomi and were saved by Asuka, who we're all happy to learn is alive.
  • A video package about Orton and Jeff Hardy at Hell in a Cell played up all the crazy poo poo that Jeff does to himself, and that this will be his first Hell in a Cell match.
  • Miz and Maryse showed up in Paige's office, saying they decided not to eat at the restaurant because it was in Detroit. They feigned surprise to learn Bryan and Brie werent there anymore.
  • R-Truth was looking for Carmella and mistook Maryse for her. He was shocked to learn Miz had married Carmella. Miz reminded him that they were once a team, but that was the last time that Truth was relevant.
  • Samoa Joe came to the ring for an interview, noting that he had threatened to go to AJ's home last week, but that had just been to force AJ to go home to wait for him, which meant for once he was actually being a family man. AJ showed up however and the two had a big brawl with AJ hitting a crossbody on Joe AND the referees trying to break them up.
  • Tye Dillinger helped Truth find Carmella, where Truth asked "Maryse" to have his corner since Miz was going to have his wife "Carmella" in his corner.
  • Rusev Day defeated The Usos and Sanity to get a match against The Bar next week, with the winner of that match to face The New Day for the titles at Hell in a Cell.
  • Miz and Maryse came to the ring and called out Bryan and Brie, calling them cowards and claiming that Bryan was not content just to destroy his own brain and body, but also Brie's too.
  • R-Truth (with Carmella) vs. The Miz (with Maryse) ended when Bryan and Brie rushed the ring to attach Miz and Maryse. Almas and Zelina showed up to turn the tables, but Miz and Maryse bailed and Bryan and Brie were able to put Almas and Zelina into dual Yes Locks.
  • Miz finally got up the courage to rush the ring but bailed again when Bryan and Brie were waiting for them.

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 03:19 on Sep 5, 2018

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DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST
So here is a VERY good question. Why is Kevin Owens helping Braun out? :psyduck:

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop

DarkstarIV posted:

So here is a VERY good question. Why is Kevin Owens helping Braun out? :psyduck:

You're right - Kevin quit last week!

MotU
Mar 6, 2007

It was like she was evicting walking garbage.
Pillbug

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

DarkstarIV posted:

So here is a VERY good question. Why is Kevin Owens helping Braun out? :psyduck:

Do you think Vince even considered that, or whether it was brought up and he just belittled the nerd who wasted his time asking that question?

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

there are no good questions about wwe.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Brie botched a lot,
Another Evolution match got announced on social media with no build after a leak,
Owens quit after yet another feud/match loss and came back almost exactly a week later down to the hour, just for a feud with Lashley which he'll also likely lose,
Finn's still somehow the biggest loser among them all,
and yes Braun's heel

Your Parents
Jul 19, 2017

by R. Guyovich
it would be really cool if wwe actually failed. i hope ratings keep going down.

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

I feel like in the not-distant future we're going to be asking "Remember when Braun was over?" and it's going to be tragically sad.

AsInHowe
Jan 11, 2007

red winged angel

Jerusalem posted:

[*] The Bella Twins returned for the first time in three years to have a match against The Riott Squad. They eventually defeated them.

I haven't seen jumping this good since

https://twitter.com/TankCPTNemo/status/1035913115270107137

Roque11
Aug 7, 2016
Finn Balor you're booked to look like a geek yet again. Just quit WWE already. You'd be better off in New Japan and ROH.

The Croc
Dec 19, 2004

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird!

OH YEAH!



Once again Raw was bad I am glad that main event beatdown got no real reaction as it made no sense but why would they care?

2 billion dollars people!

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST
For those keeping track of how bad the Evolution card will be, here is what is announced, and what is rumored (I left NXT and MYC stuff out of it):

- Trish Stratus vs Alexa Bliss

- Lita vs Mickie James

- Ronda Rousey vs Nikki Bella (Rumored)

- Brie Bella vs Maryse (Rumored)

- Naomi vs Melina (Rumored)

Like holy poo poo that is an awful card. Apparently there is talk that WWE is bringing in an outside firm to help with this card?

fatherofmustard
May 15, 2018

Roque11 posted:

Finn Balor you're booked to look like a geek yet again. Just quit WWE already. You'd be better off in New Japan and ROH.

His paycheck won't be better off.

Midnightghoul
Oct 1, 2003

COME ON DON'T BE SCURRED

DarkstarIV posted:

For those keeping track of how bad the Evolution card will be, here is what is announced, and what is rumored (I left NXT and MYC stuff out of it):

- Trish Stratus vs Alexa Bliss

- Lita vs Mickie James

- Ronda Rousey vs Nikki Bella (Rumored)

- Brie Bella vs Maryse (Rumored)

- Naomi vs Melina (Rumored)

Like holy poo poo that is an awful card. Apparently there is talk that WWE is bringing in an outside firm to help with this card?

dont worry

https://twitter.com/Jillianhall1/status/1036688545673560064

John Dudebro
Dec 3, 2013

i love drake maverick and his large adult sons

In The Bushes
Mar 4, 2012

Blatant traveling there.

Also, I spend five minutes reading this thread once a week instead of what I used to do, which was watch 10+ hours of wrestling a week. And I’m better for it.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Chris James 2 posted:

Brie botched a lot,
Another Evolution match got announced on social media with no build after a leak,
Owens quit after yet another feud/match loss and came back almost exactly a week later down to the hour, just for a feud with Lashley which he'll also likely lose,
Finn's still somehow the biggest loser among them all,
and yes Braun's heel

Sorry, I forgot Seth taking this bump

https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/1036812794711171072

for the benefit of no crowd pop or noticeable reaction and commentary only focused on what's happening to Reigns, the real star

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop

John Dudebro posted:

i love drake maverick and his large adult sons

https://twitter.com/SidBridgeComedy/status/1036807966702428160

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon
apparently they might have to amputate seth's arm according to twitter

boar guy
Jan 25, 2007

holy crap brie literally pancaked to the floor on that apron dive, like a belly flop off an 8 foot board

RealFoxy
May 11, 2011

I'm not making a fucking QCS thread for this but seriously can we take a harder stance on Kiwifarms freaks like this guy, Jesus Christ seriously, you used to be better at knocking these creeps down. I guess ADTRW mods aren't responsible like GBS mods are.
Giving Vince McMahon all this money was the biggest mistake because now he can spite-book everything and piss on the fans and there's not even a way to "vote with your wallet" if networks and countries are paying him billions for this trash

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


My favorite part of Raw was Bobby Lashley silently and passively holding a sheet of paper for about 30 seconds before Charly came up and asked him about it

Saint Freak
Apr 16, 2007

Regretting is an insult to oneself
Buglord

RealFoxy posted:

Giving Vince McMahon all this money was the biggest mistake because now he can spite-book everything and piss on the fans and there's not even a way to "vote with your wallet" if networks and countries are paying him billions for this trash

It's no longer enough to not give the WWE money, but we must actively take money from them instead. I'm thinking some kind of daring heist.


Dibs on wheelman.

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


This is like Vince any other time when he's booked badly but instead of bad numbers telling him to stop the numbers are all good so it'll continue forever!

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
So was anybody doubting that Braun had turned heel? Anybody?

STING 64
Oct 20, 2006

SatoshiMiwa posted:

This is like Vince any other time when he's booked badly but instead of bad numbers telling him to stop the numbers are all good so it'll continue forever!

E: completely misread your post. Product will be bad until vince dies.

STING 64 fucked around with this message at 04:45 on Sep 4, 2018

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

lmao

Justin_Brett
Oct 23, 2012

GAMERDOME put down LOSER
So the show started with the Shield being beaten up by the faces sort of, and then a couple hours passed, and they came back only for the show to end with them being beaten up for real by the heels instead.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer
We might get a refrain of That One SmackDown with the Shield systematically killing people throughout the show.

That would be good IMO.

Midnightghoul
Oct 1, 2003

COME ON DON'T BE SCURRED
I cant wait for Becky to team up with all the heels tomorrow

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

Justin_Brett posted:

So the show started with the Shield being beaten up by the faces sort of, and then a couple hours passed, and they came back only for the show to end with them being beaten up for real by the heels instead.

I mean it was effective in getting the people WWE wants to be heels heel heat.

They still shouldn't have turned Braun but IF you're gonna do that....

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006

More of a taking away from the face meter than raising the heel one.

Cabbit
Jul 19, 2001

Is that everything you have?


Why is Seth Rollins saying 'Brie Mode' before taking a horrific bump

Chinston Wurchill
Jun 27, 2010

It's not that kind of test.
The Alliance to End Romania!

Sugar Blaster
Dec 15, 2004

All ears, all eyes, all the time!
The best part of RAW was when they said HHH would be appearing tonight and I was like "aw man" but then they corrected the mistake and announced him for next week instead.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

SamuraiFoochs posted:

We might get a refrain of That One SmackDown with the Shield systematically killing people throughout the show.

That would be good IMO.

Oh yeah that would be pretty good, for sure.

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

Chris James 2 posted:

Sorry, I forgot Seth taking this bump

https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/1036812794711171072

for the benefit of no crowd pop or noticeable reaction and commentary only focused on what's happening to Reigns, the real star

Somebody please tell me that was sugar glass and that the blood all over Seth's arm was just a packet

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

IcePhoenix posted:

Somebody please tell me that was sugar glass and that the blood all over Seth's arm was just a packet

I'd put the chances of that at greater than 98%.

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MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
That's like the poo poo that almost killed Goldberg on steroids. What the gently caress.

(If it's not gimmicked, anyway, which, I sure fuckin' hope it is!)

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