Oh no. I'm being sued. Again.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Oh no. I'm being sued. Again.

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Our old friends, Higbee and Associates, the law firm which makes around $5 million a year doing reverse image searches and then attempting to scare webmasters by threatening to sue them for thousands of dollars over poo poo they are absolutely and in no way responsible for, has attempted to run yet another shakedown on yours truly (me) (Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka) (yours truly). About a decade or so ago, they threatened to sue me because somebody linked to an image of sausage on the forums. Then, about half a decade ago, they threatened to sue me because we used a screencap of a movie for a movie review. Now they're apparently threatening to sue me because one of you assholes linked to Hitler.

OH NO ITS HITLER ON IMGUR, gently caress YOU RICH "LOWTAX" KYANKA, GIVE US CASH FOR YOUR IMGUR HITLER. While in the past I might've chosen Leonard "J" Crabs (the "J" stands for "He's Really A Great Lawyer!") to represent me, I felt the more direct approach might be required for a law firm of this nature, as I wanted my message to come across as clearly as possible regarding my own personal opinions of their law firm. After several hours, possibly days, of extensive writing and thorough editing, I settled on this for my response.

quote:

lowtax@somethingawful.com
Sep 7, 2018, 9:11 AM
to: Copyright Claims claims@higbeeassociates.com

I have an even better idea: I'm not going to pay you a loving dime and you can go gently caress off to hell for eternity because I am absolutely in no way responsible for images hosted by a third party service, in this case imgur. Go gently caress yourselves and prey on some other website that hasn't been around for two decades and knows drat well what their legal responsibilities entail, and what they're responsible for. Your entire law firm is a straight up piece of flaming poo poo that tries to intimidate folks with EXPENSIVE LEGAL THREATS in the hope that your extortion scheme will work on some of them. I am not one of those people. So I cordially invite you to take your pdf, print it out, and ride it like a sybian until the cows come home. Then I invite you to gently caress the cows as well.

PS: You morons previously threatened to sue me for using a public still from a movie for a movie review. How'd that work out for you? I don't remember you ever taking me to court, on account of the fact that your threat was, once again, complete bullshit.

PPS: Did I mention you should go gently caress yourselves? Please do, in the chance I forgot.

Take me to court, motherfuckers.

Will Something Awful live to celebrate its 20th anniversary, rapidly approaching next month? Or will self destructive hubris lead to my ultimate downfall? STAY TUNED AS I FIGHT FOR HITLER'S RIGHTS WITH HIGBEE AND ASSOCIATES!!!

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:32

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 10:48

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

I have faith that the Power of Lowtax will prevail!

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:35

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

so many goings on at the somethings awful

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:36

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Shinjobi posted:

so many goings on at the somethings awful

When it rains, it snows

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:36

SPACE HOMOS: Jan 12, 2005

Hey guys I know lets sue THE INTERNET!!!

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:36

no pubes yet sorry: Sep 11, 2003

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:36

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

You made a reference to the Sybian in a legal correspondence. You are my loving hero!

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:36

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

One time Hitler fed deer.

Do you want to feed deer?

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:38

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

mail them a human rear end. once they touch it the mother rear end wont accept it back in the nest so theyll have to hand feed it, via syringe, till its big enough for solid food.

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:38

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

This seems to confirm what we've always feared: Leonard J. Crabs has died or else been disbarred.

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:38

Farg: Nov 19, 2013

woah you owned those guys op

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:41

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

Lowtax posted:

So I cordially invite you to take your pdf, print it out, and ride it like a sybian until the cows come home. Then I invite you to gently caress the cows as well.

This is one of the greatest rebuttals ever written.

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:41

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

EorayMel posted:

One time Hitler fed deer.

Do you want to feed deer?

DEER GOD, PLEASE DON'T LET MR. HIGBEE AND HIS ASSOCIATES FIND YET ANOTHER COPYRIGHTED HITLER ON THESE HERE THERE FORUMS PLEASE

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:41

AllNewJonasSalk: Apr 22, 2017; THUNDERDOME LOSER

As you made clear per the legal documentation you wrote, gently caress those guys. Also I can't wait for one of them to look up the word "Sybian" and get fired for improper use of company computers. This is a good response to legal bullshit. Good job, Mr. Lowtax Kyanka.

Keep on carrying on with the good fight. No goon should fear linking images of Hitler on this site. Especially as I am working on a megathread about the wonderful glory that is Hitler's butt as we speak.

I suggest a counter suit for using the image in question within their letter. I'm sure they didn't pay that guy for use of his image in their shakedown letter to you.

AllNewJonasSalk fucked around with this message at 15:44 on Sep 7, 2018

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:42

taco_fox: Dec 14, 2005

Hi lowtax how's your neck

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:43

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

taco_fox posted:

Hi lowtax how's your neck

I'm feelin spine

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:43

Higgy: Jul 6, 2005; Grimey Drawer

boy that lawyer business really is something awful

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:44

sure okay: Apr 7, 2006

i wish I had the opportunity to to tell a law firm to go gently caress themselves with all sincerity today

luckyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:45

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Please work "suck my dick you fuckman" into your next email if possible

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:45

Manchild King: Oct 22, 2010; Misogynistic, self-absorbed, incredibly unfunny asshole. BLOCK ME or I will steal your face for creepy fetish porn!

Oh, that's slimy as hell. It basically reads like an extortion letter.

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:47

Nigmaetcetera: Nov 17, 2004; borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins

Send a dead fish to their offices. What? It's not a terroristic threat per se.

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:50

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

i'm jealous of the poster who caused that letter to be sent with a post

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:52

iSimian: Jan 19, 2008; Well, there's your problem!

Can you countersue on grounds of them using a screenshot of your website without your permission?

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:53

Mordja: Apr 26, 2014; Hell Gem

They saw your name was "Rich" and got confused.

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:54

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Ah good. It seems that my dead gay secret is still safely hidden behind a broken image link on a 2002 gassed thread.

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:54

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

thread idea: let's make photoshops that will get lowtax sued

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:54

AntifaSupersoldier: Jul 30, 2003; Reality is what you can get away with; Hell Gem

Jose posted:

i'm jealous of the poster who caused that letter to be sent with a post

They should really be suing numberoneposter but for false advertising :colbert:

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:55

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Manchild King posted:

Oh, that's slimy as hell. It basically reads like an extortion letter.

That is absolutely 100% what they are. Photographers sign up for their service, and their law firm then uses reverse image searches to find where their "property" is being used. Then they have an in-house algorithm that actually calculates the amount of money they should threaten to sue for based off the site's popularity, traffic, and something that somehow determines a "possibility of payment." It auto-drafts a letter based off a select template, and then sends it off to the webmaster, hoping they'll be so threatened by legal action that they'll see all them big ol' numbers and settle for the lowest offered. If it does get settled, Higbee and ASSociates end up getting 60% of the settlement, and their client gets 40% (or lower, depending on the additional services used). They've been running this racket for about 15 years now, and spend a TON of money sanitizing their SEO results so all the negative poo poo about them doesn't come up first, as well as making fake comments and fake threads in various parts of social media of fictitious events that never occurred, with the sole purpose of scaring people into thinking that it's in their best interests to immediately settle claims with them by paying cash ASAP. They've also purchased themselves an A+++++ BBB rating, which means absolutely jack poo poo, since the BBB is a for-profit service that will give your business any drat grade you choose if you pay them enough cash.

Their entire service from the ground up is an absolute scam, and I'm actually quite glad they sent me this letter, because it has energized me to actually start going public again with how much hot garbage they are.

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:55

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

this may look like a picture of a hotdog but I've hidden every frame of the wayne's world inside it....far out man

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:55

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

lol that image is quite the hill for that photographer to choose

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:55

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

So that means there are cutthroat lawyers on something awful.

Goon extortionists :commissar:

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:57

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

iSimian posted:

Can you countersue on grounds of them using a screenshot of your website without your permission?

Nah, but even if I could, I have no interest or funding to go after a $5 million / year law firm. They could easily outspend me even if I did have a case, and unfortunately in America, that's how legal decisions end up getting made.

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:57

Smiling Mandrill: Jan 19, 2015

Hitler did nothing wrong! Someone should contact his estate, and let them know these scum sucking lawyers are out there ruining his good name.

# ? Sep 7, 2018 16:00

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

nice to see u energized and posting full paragraphs again

edit: wowza can u imagine the settlement number imgur received if its based on traffic? they probably had to pay like a hundred million dollars for the hitler pic

# ? Sep 7, 2018 16:01