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Happy Noodle Boy
Jul 3, 2002



logikv9 posted:

I forget to breathe all the time thanks tim

Manual breathing is the rage in 2018.

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MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007



logikv9 posted:

I forget to breathe all the time thanks tim

The stupid loving breathe app just opened and told me to take a breath while he was talking about that poo poo.

Pivo
Aug 20, 2004




Siri now yells at you

James Dente
Nov 29, 2003
Awful Things Ate My Head

Can't wait to look at scores for some dumb sport on my wrist. It's just like living in that 2001 movie!

Xabi
Jan 21, 2006

Inventor of the Marmite pasty


Can the new watch track my haircuts?

Happy Noodle Boy
Jul 3, 2002



Series 4 bombards your wrist with radio waves.

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007



Show me the workout poo poo. I need more monitors on my wrist.

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009


MarcusSA posted:

Show me the workout poo poo. I need more monitors on my wrist.

Same

Binary Badger
Oct 11, 2005

Trolling Link for a decade




WHERE'S MY GLUCOSE SENSOR TIM need it for my morbidly obese rear end to remind me to hit the insulin pump can't wait until I fall into a coma first

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009


Actually.. That's pretty drat cool.

logikv9
Mar 4, 2009




Ham Wrangler

when your body is turned into jam because of the high g forces you'll get a notification on your watch

Happy Noodle Boy
Jul 3, 2002



Apple Watch can warn you about the stairs as you fall endlessly.

Binary Badger
Oct 11, 2005

Trolling Link for a decade




YOU FELL 32 minutes ago

YOU DIED 32.5 minutes ago

Escape Goat
Jan 30, 2009

Punlock
Goon made word game


We threw hundreds of grandmothers down the stairs to ensure accuracy with series 4 fall detection.

Rick
Feb 23, 2004
And now the whole nation - pulpit and all - will take up the war-cry, and shout itself hoarse, and mob any honest man who ventures to open his mouth; and presently such mouths will cease to open.

I've fallen and I . . . can get up, thanks to my Series 4 Apple Watch TM

Pivo
Aug 20, 2004




All of this stuff is really nice for old people

ManSedan
May 7, 2006
Seats 4

That’s actually pretty cool and great for old people.

Happy Noodle Boy
Jul 3, 2002



This is an excellent opportunity for a demonstration.

Snuffman
May 21, 2004



Happy Noodle Boy posted:

Apple Watch can warn you about the stairs as you fall endlessly.

Hey man, they warned you about the stairs, bro.

mattfl
Aug 27, 2004



Grandma getting an Apple watch for Christmas now

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007



haha good bye life alert RIP 2018.

TraderStav
May 19, 2006

It feels like I was standing my entire life and I just sat down


This watch is designed for Boomers.

TyrantWD
Nov 6, 2010
Ignore my doomerism, I don't think better things are possible


I'm guessing Watch 4 will only be available in cellular.

ShoogaSlim
May 22, 2001

YOU ARE THE DUMBEST MEATHEAD IDIOT ON THE PLANET, STOP FUCKING POSTING



gymnast class, wrestling match, sk8boarding...

"DID U FALL? CALLING 911!"

Binary Badger
Oct 11, 2005

Trolling Link for a decade




IVE FALLEN but my watch is calling the local Pizza Hut to make sure I'm even deader

Pivo
Aug 20, 2004




ShoogaSlim posted:

gymnast class, wrestling match, sk8boarding...

"DID U FALL? CALLING 911!"

I was thinking skiing

But it resets if you move

logikv9
Mar 4, 2009




Ham Wrangler

looking forward to millions of tech illiterate grandmas getting complicated smart watches that need to be charged regularly instead of a standard lifealert system because their kids don't want to pay for the subscription

TraderStav
May 19, 2006

It feels like I was standing my entire life and I just sat down


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQlpDiXPZHQ

Rick
Feb 23, 2004
And now the whole nation - pulpit and all - will take up the war-cry, and shout itself hoarse, and mob any honest man who ventures to open his mouth; and presently such mouths will cease to open.

Escape Goat posted:

We threw hundreds of grandmothers down the stairs to ensure accuracy with series 4 fall detection.

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007



Apple Watch saving lives.

Binary Badger
Oct 11, 2005

Trolling Link for a decade




YOUR HEART stopped 21 minutes ago, pay for funeral services?

mattfl
Aug 27, 2004



WOW, that is loving huge.

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009


Binary Badger posted:

YOUR HEART stopped 21 minutes ago, pay for funeral services?

Funeral services now available with Apple pay!

PaganGoatPants
Jan 18, 2012

TODAY WAS THE SPECIAL SALE DAY!


Grimey Drawer

Time to sell my stock in EKG machines.

howe_sam
Mar 7, 2013

Creepy little garbage eaters



There are some people really stoked about that ECG feature

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007



Gimmie gimme that ECG. I don't need it but I want it!

logikv9
Mar 4, 2009




Ham Wrangler

lol professional EKGs have lovely automatic reads more than half the time, looking forward to the watch telling you you're fine as your heart self destructs

marmot25
May 16, 2004



Yam Slacker

Like the pusherbot wouldn’t just clear the alert on your watch while you lie motionless

Eddie Whitson
Nov 2, 2010


Will this watch tell you to seek treatment if you have pancreatic cancer?

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logikv9
Mar 4, 2009




Ham Wrangler

don't tell me it can only differenciate NSR vs afib

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