- crazy cloud
- Nov 7, 2012
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by Cyrano4747
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Lipstick Apathy
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We have since had confirmation that he was lying
According to the porn star who had unprotected sex with the president while his wife was at home with their 4 month old son, the president's dick looks like toad from mario kart and he cums in less than 2 minutes
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Oct 1, 2018 19:57
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Apr 28, 2024 13:04
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- crazy cloud
- Nov 7, 2012
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by Cyrano4747
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Lipstick Apathy
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Donald trumps the president; he loves piss, his best friend is kim jong un, he throws paper towels at disaster victims for fun. his latest Supreme Court pick is the rapist villain of an 80s movie about a ski resort who said “beer o’clock” a record-breaking 69 times at his confirmation hearing. his best friends are squee and new fat mike.
the leaders of the Democratic Party are a lady that makes Dianne Feinstein look like Boudica, a man waitin for his soup to cool as the world burns and an assistant Denny’s manager that agreed to let Obama install a restraining bolt in his spine. they’re collectively 202 years old.
obama? well, he took off that fancy tan suit to reveal the black and white colors of the nWo and too sweeted Richard Branson. they’ve presumably blasted off to mars to gently caress 16 y/os and smoke cigs. oh yeah president trump - who’s gettin sued by a porn star he had his dipshit lawyer pay to keep quiet about his Toad(from Mario) dick and his great fear of sharks secret by the way - has repeatedly vowed to expand our military to include a new military branch called “Space Force.” he thinks stealth planes are invisible
so the president definitely took a bunch of money from the Russian government, because despite running on what a self-made financial genius he is the president hes a dumbass who lost so many hundreds of millions of his father’s fortune that his dads skull tried to escape his head to get away. there’s some other bullshit with Russia, a dour rube named Mueller, but it’s boring mostly. whatever. moving on.
BILL COSBY DRUGGED AND RAPED 50 WOMEN! he’s been convicted and is in jail for the rest of his life! Elon musk went from IRL iron man to getting sued for calling a guy a pedophile and stealing a drawing of a farting unicorn. the SEC sued him too, for setting Tesla stock to 420 to impress his girlfriend pop punk traitor Grimes, but he paid 40 million so that’s good. he loves rick and morty, which is bad now
nazis are back but they’re called “proud boys” now, after an Aladdin musical. modeling their lives after the noble lobster, they chant for milk and carry tiki torches and consume of “the gorilla mind.” they used to follow the pizza gate guys but now they follow some anonymous internet man known only as “Q”. these nazis do NOT jack off, and they’re very clear about this.
speaking of jacking off - Louis CK! in front of girls! but he’s gone now!...although actually I guess not cause he’s just gonna jack himself off for an unwitting unwilling audience anyway and nobody’s gonna stop him... metaphorically! also basically this for Chris Hardwick.
Hillary Clinton walked into the woods following her defeat and has only been seen on full moons since, emerging to throw rocks at Bernie Sanders window and call him a pussy. Lindsay Lohan steals immigrant children. Linda McMahons in Trumps administration, Vince McMahon is bringing back XFL as an all-white league.
the 9/11 mayors back now and he’s fuckin CRAZY dude, even like more than before. his mouth is loving gross and he’s the presidents personal lawyer now because Michael Cohen was a fake friend. trump and a bunch of saudis put their hands on the orb. Melania Trump regularly goes missing for weeks. trumps young autistic son Barron’s big-tittied elf drawings are readily available on the internet, and he’s a drat Gamer.
Ted Cruz likes step-mom porn on Twitter. conservatives are outraged at the cancellation of Roseanne, she called Michelle Obama an ape and some poo poo about dressing as Hitler, idk. she had likely grown frustrated with Michelle, who appears as a ghostly apparition above all our beds every night to look disappointed at us without ever getting more than that. radiation is good now. flint still has no water.
they’re doing a joker movie starring Jared Leto. if that’s not your thing don’t worry they’re doing a joker movie starring Joaquin Phoenix and Marc Maron. Star Wars is back and is bad but it’s just easier to say it’s good because everyone will yell at you .
the governments brought back detention camps to tackle the epidemic of children in early cognitive development not being separated from their mothers. every day some guy from your hometown dies of a fentanyl overdose, but so far , eh, you saw most of them coming. and yo check this - Kevin Spacey is GAY!
this has been the news at the top of the hour, that’s it for me today - January 20th, 2017. this is that dick, signing off
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Oct 3, 2018 15:36
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- crazy cloud
- Nov 7, 2012
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by Cyrano4747
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Lipstick Apathy
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The president tweets about george soros conspiracies now.
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Oct 6, 2018 20:11
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- crazy cloud
- Nov 7, 2012
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by Cyrano4747
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Lipstick Apathy
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The Washington Times is owned and operated by a South Korean sex cult.
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Oct 6, 2018 20:11
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- crazy cloud
- Nov 7, 2012
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by Cyrano4747
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Lipstick Apathy
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please don't kinkshame, Mickey and Minnie Mouse gently caress and they're vore fetishists. it's canon now. very brave of the walt disney corporation
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Oct 10, 2018 01:02
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- crazy cloud
- Nov 7, 2012
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by Cyrano4747
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Lipstick Apathy
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Pharrell Williams sent the President of the United States a legal threat letter for playing 'Happy' at a campaign rally after a synagogue shooting.
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Oct 31, 2018 02:05
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Apr 28, 2024 13:04
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- crazy cloud
- Nov 7, 2012
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by Cyrano4747
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Lipstick Apathy
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there are thousands of failsons all over America who huddle together online and incite each other into murdering as many women as they can and nobody has any idea what to do about it
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Nov 4, 2018 01:14
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Oct 1, 2018 19:57
