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  REQUIRED LISTENING FOR THREAD https://youtu.be/8CdcCD5V-d8 LEAVE ON LOOP WHILE READING  DVR The Sopranos and put the latest Usher tracks on your generic-brand MP3 player, because it’s 2004 again, and quoting Napoleon Dynamite is only just starting to get old. America is just about to re-elect a president that can barely string together a sentence, and the only thing it loves at its cineplexes more than Shrek is big-name directors using no-name actors to make big-budget adaptations of superhero comic books. Tobey Macguire is Spider-Man, Eric Bana is the Hulk, and... Iron Man? Who? Isn’t that the superhero whose only defining characteristic is his drinking problem? What a C-tier loser. But what the public really wants is a movie that really takes superheroes seriously. I’m talking a grim fable full of pathos and tragic heroes and villains. I need a story that’s not afraid to get dark now and then, and I’ve never heard of Christopher Nolan. Complete with post-golden age Eminem on the soundtrack, Venom is here to fulfill all your dark and twisted superhero needs. The people need to know that comic books CAN be serious! We need dark and gritty, we need... we... oh my God, I’m sorry. I can’t keep up this facade. Venom is hilarious. It might be one of the funniest movies of the year. Venom is a movie where Tom Hardy plays good-cop-bad-cop with himself. It’s a buddy cop movie consisting of one guy, and Hardy channels enough Jim Carrey to make it work. His mannerisms are ridiculous, his mild-mannered temperament in full play as he repeatedly apologizes to people while murdering the gently caress out of them. You may be thinking, “well I bet it’s not intentional, it must just be because the movie is bad.” But I don’t think that’s the case. By the time a hungry Eddie Brock runs right into a upper-class restaurant, dunks himself in the lobster tank, and eats one alive with a “why are you giving me that look” facial expression, Venom has already told you what movie it wants to be. Riz Ahmed chews scenery as a maniacal CEO, whose commercial space exploration company is basically just a front for him and his rich buddies to leave Earth once global warming does it in, an act which is patently ridiculous and I’m sure has no basis in real life whatsoever. Add a climax of barely-comprehensible CGI and Venom is the year’s biggest surprise, a throwback to when comic book adaptations were all inherently a bit goofy, and not in the insufferable quips-per-minute way. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll beg the theater to stop the credits before you have to hear more of Eminem insisting he’s still got it. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Pirate Jet fucked around with this message at 14:06 on Oct 8, 2018 |
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Oct 8, 2018 13:40
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Dead I am the one, exterminating son
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Oct 8, 2018 16:27
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I said it in the comic movie thread but it feels like the first hour of this movie has like 3 jokes total and is unrelentlessly dull and gritty then the second venom shows up it's joke a minute. But it's weird because almost all the jokes are dubbed in as venom talking in eddie's head. So it really feels like they planned to maybe have 3-5 jokes in the second half to match the tone of the first half then someone said nah and just dubbed in constant goofs.
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Oct 8, 2018 16:32
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I liked it. The early parts of the movie where Venom wasn't around yet were somewhat dull, but the movie picks up the second Venom bonds with Eddie. I think if the movie's pre-Venom part was like, 5-10 mins shorter and that time was used to develop the bond between Venom and Eddie a bit more, the pacing would have improved. Movie critics who are calling this a garbage movie are real dumb tho. First review I tried to read talked about "misplaced comedy", and that just feels weird. Suddenly quips are bad when they are made by an antihero? Was it the joke about the headeating that made the critic feel bad? Venom's a really silly movie at times, but its fun. The movie doesn't really give a gently caress, which is nice - like the movie explicitly calls out that the aftermath of the fight in Eddie's apartment left multiple bodies as the policeman tells Eddie's ex that it's not safe.
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Oct 8, 2018 18:50
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loving awful. Loved it.
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Oct 8, 2018 21:40
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Owlofcreamcheese posted:I said it in the comic movie thread but it feels like the first hour of this movie has like 3 jokes total and is unrelentlessly dull and gritty then the second venom shows up it's joke a minute. But it's weird because almost all the jokes are dubbed in as venom talking in eddie's head. So it really feels like they planned to maybe have 3-5 jokes in the second half to match the tone of the first half then someone said nah and just dubbed in constant goofs. I really don’t think this is it. Most of the humor of the movie comes from Hardy’s mannerisms, and you can’t exactly add in things like Hardy chickening out of jumping out of a skyscraper and Venom possessing a tiny purse dog in post. The film definitely feels like the humor was intentional. The movie’s tone is in this utterly bizarre place that’s halfway between the goofy movie adaptation of The Mask and its horrifying ultraviolent original comics, and I kinda love it for it.
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Oct 8, 2018 21:50
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Prolly the best opening paragraph of an op I’ve ever read, tbh.
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Oct 8, 2018 21:55
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I was a huge Christopher Nolan fan in 2004 
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Oct 8, 2018 22:20
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Pirate Jet posted:The movie’s tone is in this utterly bizarre place that’s halfway between the goofy movie adaptation of The Mask and its horrifying ultraviolent original comics, and I kinda love it for it. I was legit hoping Venom would burst into Cuban Pete during the cop standoff scenes.
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Oct 8, 2018 22:26
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I liked the movie but I think that song is not good.
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Oct 8, 2018 22:37
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Gatts posted:I liked the movie but I think that song is not good. It’s not, but to make up for it, those of you who can sit through it during the credits will be rewarded with the first song off of RTJ4. Also, a new clip from Enter the Spider-Verse, which looks even more gorgeous when it’s edited like a movie and not like a trailer.
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Oct 8, 2018 22:47
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Gatts posted:I liked the movie but I think that song is not good. Eminem's Venom or Cuban Pete?  Pirate Jet posted:Also, a new clip from Enter the Spider-Verse, which looks even more gorgeous when it’s edited like a movie and not like a trailer. Yeah that was an awful pick for this movie though. The crowd at my screening loved the Carnage reveal, but could not give less of a poo poo about Spiderverse.
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Oct 8, 2018 22:47
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Saw this today and it was horrible. I don't know what the gently caress Tom Hardy was doing - he sounded like an idiot. I hated the set pieces, I hated how Venom looked. The villain was loving stupid. You can tell things were cut all over the place - it barely holds itself together. gently caress. Waste of time.
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Oct 8, 2018 23:32
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I saw this earlier today and overall liked it but that last 20 minutes is a total loving mess of a film.
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Oct 9, 2018 00:00
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It's... something. This is the movie where I felt the PG-13 by far the hardest. This is a character whose whole thing is actually physically eating people with his giant fangs and there's not a drop of blood to be seen. There's this hilarious scene where a symbiote makes these 30' blade arms (VERY SPECIFICALLY BLADES) and then swings them at a room full of people and when the blades hit them they are comically swept offscreen in a blur and there isn't a drop of blood at all or even the suggestion of real violence in any way. The big fight at the end is a headscratcher that reminded me of a random fight in a Transformer film. Venom bites off people's loving heads and there is no blood. He devours someone and there is no blood. Not even the suggestion of blood. It's just weird. I still kind of liked it. It wasn't good. But it was, sort of, in a strange way, interesting. I legit think an R-rated version where you actually saw how awful what Venom did was and would have made Eddie's slow acceptance of that evil for the power it brings a lot more interesting. As it is it seems like a weird wacky buddy comedy where inhumanly awful carnivorous violence is alluded to every few minutes. Just loving lol if they try to do a PG-13 Carnage movie.
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Oct 9, 2018 01:38
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I was hoping we’d see the symbiote bunny and dog
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Oct 9, 2018 01:52
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Pirate Jet posted:I really don’t think this is it. Most of the humor of the movie comes from Hardy’s mannerisms, and you can’t exactly add in things like Hardy chickening out of jumping out of a skyscraper and Venom possessing a tiny purse dog in post. The film definitely feels like the humor was intentional. I wouldn't guess that some original cut had zero jokes, him not jumping was clearly filmed in, but does he even react to what venom calls him at all? I don't think he even moves his face on some of the dubbed in lines. Like that whole deadpool-esq speech at the end about ripping a guy's arms off that doesn't remotely fit with whats happening on screen.
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Oct 9, 2018 02:33
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I thought there was supposed to be a Spider-Man cameo??
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Oct 9, 2018 04:44
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Hollismason posted:I saw this earlier today and overall liked it but that last 20 minutes is a total loving mess of a film. Yeah, the big fight at the end is just so... noisy. It really doesn't help that it's just two very similar looking cgi elements banging together loudly. On an unrelated note, how is there not a limited edition Monster energy drink flavor tie-in for this movie?
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Oct 9, 2018 04:49
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Fart City posted:Yeah, the big fight at the end is just so... noisy. It really doesn't help that it's just two very similar looking cgi elements banging together loudly. You only get those deals with an R rating
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Oct 9, 2018 05:01
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Please, guys. Everyone knows the true Venom fan's energy drink of choice is Rockstar.
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Oct 9, 2018 05:02
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Vintersorg posted:I thought there was supposed to be a Spider-Man cameo?? There were rumours of a Peter Parker cameo but never Spider-Man. I just hope Sony are able to do a proper crossover film at some point though the rights for that are unclear to me. The Spidey films are financially 100% Sony but overseen by MCU producers so it matches with the MCU, but maybe a crossover could happen not as an official spidey standalone but still using the MCU version of the character? It seems unclear.
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Oct 9, 2018 05:10
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There’s just a Spider-verse stinger at the end of the credits.
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Oct 9, 2018 05:39
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Fart City posted:Yeah, the big fight at the end is just so... noisy. It really doesn't help that it's just two very similar looking cgi elements banging together loudly. There's Venom-themed Brisk iced tea. It's actually pretty good.  e: yeah, it's "dark cherry limeade" Brisk, and it's not shabby at all.
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Oct 9, 2018 05:42
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As a guy who knows way too much about Venom in the comics, I find it pretty funny how instead of blowing their load on the one Venom villain anyone knows, they went with: 1) An evil businessman who hasn't shown up since 1994. He wasn't even killed off. He just wandered off and swore he'd get revenge on Spider-Man, never to be heard from again. 2) Another evil businessman who is reimagined in the movie as a highly-trained head of security goon. Also stopped showing up since 1994. 3) Venom's least important of seven children. Eight if you count his clone.
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Oct 9, 2018 07:04
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Is Eddie Brock moving to San Fran actually canon with the comics at any point? It felt like that was a deliberate decision to avoid having to mention or reference Spider Man (who I assume still exists in this 'universe', he's just not important enough to mention).
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Oct 9, 2018 07:53
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The absolute funniest scenes in the movie were when someone tells Elon Bezos not to start his rocket launch countdown because he can't pilot the rocket alone, to which the symbiote-infused evil science man smirks "I'm not alone", and they zoom to a scientist in the background who looks nervously around with a completely bewildered "the gently caress's he on about??" expression, and in the next scene the scientist is rifling through a manual that reads "HOW TO STOP THE COUNTDOWN" in big letters Also end credits show that apparently one of the astrounauts was supposed to be J Jonah Jameson's son. Steve2911 posted:Is Eddie Brock moving to San Fran actually canon with the comics at any point? It felt like that was a deliberate decision to avoid having to mention or reference Spider Man (who I assume still exists in this 'universe', he's just not important enough to mention). Don't know about Brock in San Francisco, but they do mention in the movie that he moved away from New York because he got fired from the Daily Globe, which in the comics is what started his spat with Peter Parker, I think. Forktoss fucked around with this message at 08:10 on Oct 9, 2018 |
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Oct 9, 2018 08:06
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JonathonSpectre posted:It's... something. The complete lack of blood is even more jarring in the UK where it was given a 15 rating (which is a licence to do pretty much anything except torture, extreme/realistic gore and vaginas). I'm pretty sure it was only given that because the homeless people deaths, while bloodless, were still pretty brutal looking for 12 year olds. e: Also, huge shout out to the fact that Riot seemed to spend six months shambling around as the same little old Malaysian woman before he figured out how to get on a plane. stev fucked around with this message at 09:12 on Oct 9, 2018 |
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Oct 9, 2018 08:38
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Steve2911 posted:Is Eddie Brock moving to San Fran actually canon with the comics at any point? It felt like that was a deliberate decision to avoid having to mention or reference Spider Man (who I assume still exists in this 'universe', he's just not important enough to mention). Yeah. Back in the 90's, there was a time when Ann (Eddie's ex-wife in the comics instead of former fiancee) convinced him that Spider-Man was a good guy and Venom stopped blaming him for all of his problems. Venom then got his own spinoff series, in which the first story, Lethal Protector, was the inspiration for the movie. He moved to his home town of San Francisco, where he helped protect a hidden society of homeless people. Even though this was a status quo created to keep him separated from Spider-Man, they still found ways to bring in guys like Morbius, Punisher, Juggernaut and, well, Spider-Man to play off of. Then after like two years of this, the writers just quietly had him go back to NYC so it was easier to do Spider-Man crossovers.
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Oct 9, 2018 09:03
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Forktoss posted:The absolute funniest scenes in the movie were when someone tells Elon Bezos not to start his rocket launch countdown because he can't pilot the rocket alone, to which the symbiote-infused evil science man smirks "I'm not alone", and they zoom to a scientist in the background who looks nervously around with a completely bewildered "the gently caress's he on about??" expression, and in the next scene the scientist is rifling through a manual that reads "HOW TO STOP THE COUNTDOWN" in big letters I thought the funniest scene was after Eddie's apartment gets raided and Venom takes out the soldiers. "Let's bite their heads off and pile the bodies in the corner!" "Why would we do that?!" "Pile of bodies....pile of heads!" Like it's the most obvious thing. Still cracking up over it. Also re: the final showdown: At least the CGI vs CGI fight was relatively short, and they didn't beat us over the head with 20 minutes of them punching each other through buildings *cough*ManofSteel*cough* I thought the rest of it was good. Tom Hardy performed well and he was like 90% of the movie so there you go. I might go see it again next weekend, though I'll probably pass on the 3D this time, since I didn't really even notice it the first time around.
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Oct 9, 2018 09:12
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I enjoyed the Hardy/Venom bits, the comedy was fun and people in the cinema laughed along. The CGI was a bit crappy looking to my eyes and I'm kinda sad they never fully embraced the liquidy tentacleness of Venom from the MvC games but instead just had a bunch of extra nondescript limbs. ...though I did notice him forming a shield at one point   Riz Ahmed wasn't convincing enough for me but everything else was fine tbh, it was enjoyable which is something I can't say about a fair few movies I've seen this year.
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Oct 9, 2018 10:13
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Beginning was boring, whacky Tom hardy was fun. But I really gotta question the thought behind Let's have our black goopy guy, fight a dark grey goopy guy at night. I've seen some bad fightscenes but that one might take the cake.
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Oct 9, 2018 12:28
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Mulderman posted:Beginning was boring, whacky Tom hardy was fun. There was exactly one moment in that 3-4(?) minute fight that I had any idea what in the gently caress was happening or even where the two of them were in relation to each other. That moment was when Riot peels Venom off Eddie and is about to eat it. The only reason I knew what was happening then was because they stopped moving. I never knew who was getting hurt, who was winning, who was hitting/getting hit, or anything at all. It might as well have been a cartoon dust cloud with arms and legs sticking out. It's the first fight scene ever that makes those goofy Transformers fights look coherent. They're complete pandemonium confusing stupid poo poo also, but at least the robots are sometimes slightly different colors so you can tell which side of the screen is which robot. Uh, let me make a positive comment too. The symbiotes look awesome when they are moving around on the glass and some of the dialogue is p.funny, like the aforementioned "Pile of bodies... pile of heads!" comment.
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Oct 9, 2018 13:48
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My favorite bad editing is venom turning on his species because of the kindness eddie showed him and the wonders of earth he saw which all must have happened totally off screen in another movie. Also venom destroying eddie's organs to the point that even like a day of having venom the doctor is saying his heart and kidneys are about to fail and venom just says "nuh uh" and that is just the end of it. I guess eddie dies offscreen five minutes after the movie ends.
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Oct 9, 2018 14:49
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In the Hardy-cut everything will make sense and be good.
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Oct 9, 2018 15:03
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What are the odds that Riz Ahmed and Michelle Williams signed onto this mistakenly thinking it was a Marvel Studios film? Anyway, it was... okay. Tom Hardy's performance is the main thing it has going for it, most of the action (and general editing, even in conversation scenes) is bad, and the climactic fight is one of the most visually indecipherable messes of CG I've ever seen in a big-budget film. The Spider-Verse clip at the end was easily the best part.
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Oct 9, 2018 16:08
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Owlofcreamcheese posted:Also venom destroying eddie's organs to the point that even like a day of having venom the doctor is saying his heart and kidneys are about to fail and venom just says "nuh uh" and that is just the end of it. I guess eddie dies offscreen five minutes after the movie ends. My take from that is that Venom's basically keeping Eddie alive now and if they're separated his organs will be hosed (similar to how Venom propped his broken legs up with goo).
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Oct 9, 2018 16:33
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Also I love how dumb riot's plan is. The comet was at least months away, at least long enough for a billionaire to build and staff a whole lab between the time they find aliens and get them back to earth. So like, riot was going to super slowly fly for months, scoop up a bunch of aliens then super slowly fly back and hope earth just never cares, then when he's back he's got 1 million goops that can only live for like, an hour? on earth unaided? the blue goop that murders the lady dies in a few minutes because the guard scientists didn't want to watch her die and looked away for like, a few minutes, 15 maybe? And that was enough for it to entirely die.
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Oct 9, 2018 17:23
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I just realized how Eddie's ex was genuinely a pretty strong female character. Ann was never a damsel in distress, and instead after she realized that Eddie was in serious (seemingly) medical trouble, tried her hardest to help him, and didn't run away screaming or anything when she saw Eddie as Venom for the first time - if anything it convinced her even more that Eddie needed help.
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Oct 9, 2018 18:57
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Owlofcreamcheese posted:Also I love how dumb riot's plan is. The comet was at least months away, at least long enough for a billionaire to build and staff a whole lab between the time they find aliens and get them back to earth. Riot was an idiot who took 6 months to figure out commercial air travel. Once Riz Ahmed started hosting him, Riz just wanted to use Riot to get off Earth and be an immortal tentacle explorer.
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Oct 9, 2018 19:01
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