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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?




____________________________

Super Show-Down Results:
  • The New Day (Kofi and Xavier) (C) defeated The Bar to retain the Smackdown Tag Team Titles.
  • Charlotte Flair defeated Becky Lynch (C) by DQ, meaning Becky retained the SmackDown Women's Championship.
  • Bobby Lashley and John Cena defeated Elias and Kevin Owens in a tag team match.
  • The IIconics defeated Asuka and Naomi in a tag team match. Tag team match.
  • AJ Styles (C) defeated Samoa Joe by Submission to retain the WWE Championship.
  • Ronda Rousey and The Bella Twins defeated The Riott Squad by submission in a Six-Woman Tag Match.
  • Buddy Murphy defeated Cedric Alexander (C) to win the Cruiserweight Championship.
  • The Shield defeated BRAUN! Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler in a Six-Man Tag Match.
  • Daniel Bryan defeated The Miz in a quick match to become Number One Contender for the WWE Championship
  • Triple H (with Shawn Michaels) defeated The Undertaker (with Kane) in a singles match. Undertaker and Kane beat the poo poo out of Triple H and HBK after the match to end the show.
____________________________

Raw Results:
  • Triple H and Shawn Michaels opened the show to talk about Super Show Down and the beatdown they recieved after the main event. Michaels said he'd honored his retirement agreement for 8+ years based on a respect he now felt did not exist. Triple H asked him,"Are you ready?" and they announced the tag match between DX and The Brothers of Destruction in Saudi Arabia, revealing they were wearing DX gear underneath.
  • Lashley defeated Kevin Owens in a singles match where the crowd was firmly behind Owens and booing Lashley, including every time Lio Rush got on the mic and tried to get them to cheer. After Lashley won he beat down Owens and smirked as he and Rush left as the crowd booed. One would ASSUME this was a heel turn.
  • The Crown Jewel in Saudi Arabia will have a WWE World Cup in which four members of Raw and four members of Smackdown will compete to be "the best in the world". John Cena is already announced as in the match.
  • Finn Balor and Bayley were being interviewed backstage when Lashley and Rush showed up to brag about beating down Owens. Rush called Lashley "too sweet" and Balor was not impressed.
  • Elias did a concert and made fun of John Cena's hair and the accents of Australians. He tried for some cheap heat with a shot at the Chicago Cubs, then left when Ronda Rousey showed up.
  • Ronda Rousey and the Bella Twins defeated The Riott Squad, with Brie and Liv Morgan playing up tension from Liv's recent concussion. After Rousey submitted Ruby Riott, she was attacked by the Bellas and intially fought them off before they were able to overwhelm her 2-on-1 and slam her into the steel steps and ring barricade. Crowd booed the Bellas heavily.
  • Balor and Bayley defeated Jinder Mahal and Alicia Fox, with Balor getting the pin on Jinder.
  • Dolph Ziggler was trying to fire up BRAUN! and Drew, but Drew shut him up by reminding him that he is NOT the one in charge AND he's the one who took the pinfall on Saturday. BRAUN! shut them down both up and reminded them that the only reason they're around is to make sure HE wins the Universal Title.
  • Heath Slater wanted Baron Corbin to add him to the Battle Royale tonight for a spot in the WWE World Cup, but Corbin declined, saying that Slater just wasn't any good. The crowd was not happy about that, the man has kids!
  • The members of the Battle Royale turned out to be various jobbers "representing" other countries, with Baron Corbin representing America. Corbin destroyed all the jobbers except for the fully masked/covered up Conquistador, who spent the match outside the ring. When Corbin realized he still had Conquistador to deal with, he went to attack, and Conquistador hit three German Suplexes and an Angle Slam to elim....
  • Wait a minute....




  • THAT'S NOT CONQUISTADOR!
  • Kurt Angle was revealed as the man behind the mask, now a member of the WWE World Cup. The crowd went nut. Absolutely banana.
  • Angle told Charly Caruso he was technically still on vacation, and left with a wink.
  • Ember Moon defeated Nia Jax by countout after Jax charged Moon outside the ring and hit the video board. The crowd booed the finish, and Ember teased attacking Jax before giving her a hug.
  • Trish Stratus came out to answer Alexa Bliss' allegations from last week that she big-leagued her as a child, pointing out that the math didn't add up. Bliss and Mickie James came out to talk trash, with Mickie James wanting to tag with Alexa against Trish. Trish said that wasn't a bad idea, and she had her own tag partner in mind.
  • Lita came out to a big pop and together they chased off Bliss and James.
  • The Shield did one of their old style promos, with Dean saying all three of them were the bad guys, Reigns saying it didn't matter where they fought, and Rollins saying their group was the one true constant in WWE.
  • Bobby Roode and Chad Gable defeated The Ascension in the latest in a round of endless matches involving 2 or more of the 4. Postmatch, The Authors of Pain ran down and murdered both teams.
  • Ronda Rousey vs. Nikki Bella for the Raw Women's Championship at Evolution was made official, as was the tag between Trish/Lita and Alexa/Mickie.
  • Paul Heyman came out and did a promo about how Brock is at home and not watching the show, because he is not a team player and only cares about himself. He will return in Saudi Arabia, defeat BRAUN! and Roman to regain the Universal Championship, and go back to being the Champ while doing whatever the hell he wants, whenever he wants. The Shield's music played so Heyman cleared out.
  • The Shield and BRAUN!, Drew and Ziggler had a far superior match to their Australia one. The crowd was hot and everybody looked great. At one point, Ziggler took a beating before BRAUN! destroyed The Shield and then read Ziggler the riot act about all the crap he pulls and his failure to pull his weight. Drew got in BRAUN!'s face and the crowd went wild at the thought, before The Shield broke it up by starting to fight them all again.
  • Drew pinned Ambrose at the end of a wild final act to a pretty wild match, with everybody getting laid out at ringside and Ambrose getting caught by Drew after hitting a DDT on BRAUN! on the outside of the ring.
  • BRAUN! Drew and Dolph celebrated on the ramp, while The Shield were left fuming in the ring. Dean stormed out leaving behind Roman and Seth watching him go, confused.
____________________________

Smackdown Results:
  • After the commentators hyped up the WWE World Cup matches tonight, the show opened with the Smackdown Women's Title rematch between Charlotte Flair and Champion Becky Lynch. Becky would be stripped of the title if she was DQed (boos from the crowd, and Becky was cheered clearly and loudly over Charlotte during the ring introductions.
  • Becky Lynch retained her title against Charlotte in a long, pretty drat good match in which they beat the poo poo out of each other and continued to sell the idea that their dislike of each other was building to white-hot hate. After a long match, Becky tried to leave with the belt but Charlotte threw her back into the ring, and Becky almost got DQed after knocking Charlotte into the ref and getting caught brandishing the belt at Charlotte. The match descended into a straight up brawl between the two until both were counted out because they were too busy kicking each other's asses outside the ring. They continued to fight up the ramp, Becky initially getting the best of Charlotte until she recovered and hit a Spear on Becky and sent them both through the led panels. Charlotte was really selling the damage done to her arm throughout the match.
  • Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy in the WWE World Cup ended on a referee stoppage, the ref refusing to let Joe - whose leg was still screwed up from the beating he took from AJ Styles in Australia - continue. Joe was livid but unable to do anything about it, unable to even stand. Jeff Hardy is now in the WWE World Cup.
  • A video played highlighting all of Randy Orton's many accomplishments across his career.
  • Evolution reunites on Smackdown 1000 next week, including Batista!
  • A recap of the end of Becky/Charlotte aired, with the commentators proclaiming that Charlotte was fine and would be in the Mixed Match Challenge after Smackdown. Paige then appeared to announce that Charlotte and Becky would face off one last time time for the title at the Evolution PPV, in a Last Woman Standing Match.
  • MizTV's guests were AJ Styles and Daniel Bryan, who had a lot of fun at Miz's expense (calling him the two minute man, making fun of how quickly Bryan beat him in Australia). AJ put over Joe while pointing out that he kicked Joe's rear end, and Miz tried to stir poo poo up between them which they ignored, making fun of him more. Things started to pick up between the two when Bryan got fired up about how he hadn't returned to fight the likes of Kane, Miz or big cass but the very best, and that was AJ. They got in each other's faces, but then went back to mocking Miz.
  • Miz lost his poo poo and (quite rightly) pointed out that all the matches he won against Bryan were largely as a result of kicking his rear end/while Bryan's win came as the result of a sudden small package (also his shoulder was up, and the ref was out of position, and it was Miz's birthday!). He told AJ it was his fault that the WWE Championship no longer headlined PPVs, and whoever won at Crown Jewel, Miz wanted to face them next.
  • Miz and Bryan did guest commentary during AJ Styles vs Shelton Benjamin, with Miz spitting fire and in a fury while Bryan just chuckled and mocking that Miz didn't know the difference between a roll-up and a Small Package, nobody taking him seriously because he always lied and cheated, and how his "knockout" of Bryan came via the use of Brass Knuckles. About halfway through the match, the commentary (and the crowd) finally started paying attention to Shelton and AJ and putting over Shelton. AJ defeated Shelton with the Phenomenal Forearm.
  • Aiden came to the ring to show the director's cut of "One Night in Milwaukee" which he claimed to have gotten a six figure offer for. This time the video didn't pause and we saw Lana say she wanted him.... to know how much she and Rusev appreciate what he does and how glad they are to have him around. In the video, Aiden then reaches for Lana before it paused again. Rusev came out and Aiden said that they all knew what would happen next on the video, but he would destroy it if Rusev kicked Lana to the curb and reunited Rusev Day.
  • Lana joined Rusev, and Rusev told him to play the full video. English declined, so Lana offered to do it herself, because English got hacked (his password was irusev). In the video, Aiden reaches for Lana and she recoils all,"Uhhh dude, you misunderstood...." and leaves the room.
  • "CREEEEP!" screamed one dude in the crowd, and a small chant of,"CREEP!" started up. English admitted that yes nothing happened between them, but if Lana ever got tired of Rusev Days, she could call him to enjoy an Aiden Night. Rusev charged and initially got hands on English, but he was able to escape.
  • Next week on Smackdown 1000, Shinsuke Nakamura will fight for a spot in the WWE World Cup.... AGAINST REY MYSTERIO
  • Randy Orton defeated The Big Show to get into the WWE World Cup. This was Big Show's first match back since his cage match against BRAUN! and he looked good and was well recieved. Orton did thumb the eye on Big Show to survive, and hit the RKO as Big Show stumbled around trying to get his vision back.

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at Oct 10, 2018 around 07:55

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Soul Glo
Aug 27, 2003

Just let it shine through


mods please rename me hbk's lazy eye tia

Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?

The legend of the Conquistador will never die.

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005

Somebody call Totoro

My friend is pissed that HBKs first match in 8 years is going to be at Crown Jewel.

Seams
Feb 3, 2005


hey dx is back! not the good dx you remember from the 90s though. the bad dx you hate.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

you're a flower. you're also a rainbow and a river. you are the manifestation of all perfection and i want to i don't fucking know, but you are fucking perfect


I'm going to do a combined prediction thing for Evolution/Crown Jewel and just leave some of the matches off I think.

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

Ms. Money


I'm trying to figure out how many turns there were tonight. Because good loving god there were quite a few.

Lio Rush, Bobby Lashley, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, and potentially Dean Ambrose have turned heel.
Kevin Owens is a tweener/babyface?

That's five (six if you count Dean) face/heel turns tonight.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

andey...


Why count the turns? the number could be a very cool mystery. it could extend beyond one night. the great era of turning. No one knows how many there were, except for the lord.

ijii
Mar 17, 2007
I'M APPARENTLY GAY AND MY POSTING SUCKS.


Two things to take away from tonight. I don't give a gently caress about DX or Brothers of Destruction for that matter. I hope Brock Lesnar goes away for good after Crown Jewel, because I'm sick and tired of Paul Heyman's long winded promos.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold



kurt's return was fun and i'm p happy that was the one segment of raw i watched in full

The_Rob
Feb 1, 2007

musicals are garbage


Remember when DX reunited in 06 and it sucked then? What if we do it again when they're ten years older and it makes even less sense and it's going to suck again.

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010

Your voice may have changed but your breath is still the same.

My goodness, Hot Stuff!


If there's one thing Saudi Arabia loves it's a faction famous for explicit references to oral sex, drink and drugs and having a woman stand up to men.

Soul Glo
Aug 27, 2003

Just let it shine through


Gonzo McFee posted:

If there's one thing Saudi Arabia loves it's a faction famous for explicit references to oral sex, drink and drugs and having a woman stand up to men.

heels gonna get over in the desert, brother

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003



When is Sami due back? He and KO could really help the babyface side of the tag division.

TV Zombie
Sep 6, 2011

Once you Whee-in, You can't Whee-out


Dinosaur Gum

So how are Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and X-Pac going to be on Crown Jewel?

Also, Kurt's return is a..way to get him onto Crown Jewel as well.

fatherofmustard
May 15, 2018


Codependent Poster posted:

When is Sami due back? He and KO could really help the babyface side of the tag division.

He's targeting a WM season return.

Blaise330
Aug 13, 2007



Codependent Poster posted:

When is Sami due back? He and KO could really help the babyface side of the tag division.

Yeah the authors of pain will run out of people to beat up since they aren’t allowed to touch Dolph and Drew

I wonder what color belt is World Cup champion Samoa Joe gonna get?

Astro7x
Aug 4, 2004
Thinks It's All Real

How many people are in this tournament. Did I hear 8?

Reaverbot
Jun 13, 2010


im watching the replay and this lio rush hype man thing is like living a nightmare

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

andey...


why doesn't Sami Zayn try to get out of his contract? he does not have any dependants. I wonder if he is a bad person trying to pretend to be good

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one


Soul Glo posted:

heels gonna get over in the desert, brother

Deserts are famous for their HEEEEAAAAAATTTTT

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Jeremy Corbyn has been made the subject of an official complaint to the Labour party over his suggestion in 2013 that some British Zionists do not understand 'English irony'.

Are you offended?

Why not put in a complaint?




Kurt had better be contractually obligated to wrestle in KSA in the gold lamé

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold



oh yeah almost forgot. what the gently caress was the point of the nia/ember match?!?!

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Jeremy Corbyn has been made the subject of an official complaint to the Labour party over his suggestion in 2013 that some British Zionists do not understand 'English irony'.

Are you offended?

Why not put in a complaint?




Raskolnikov38 posted:

oh yeah almost forgot. what the gently caress was the point of the nia/ember match?!?!

Ember is good and a winner, that's the only point we need

fatherofmustard
May 15, 2018


Raskolnikov38 posted:

oh yeah almost forgot. what the gently caress was the point of the nia/ember match?!?!

They have over 3 hours to fill

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold



it ended in two minutes with nia getting herself counted out and then they hugged. what the hell was that about

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

It's me, It's me, It's DDP!!


So is the World Cup thing just going to be all of the veterans and part-timers that aren't in the DX/Brothers of Destruction match?

Like people were joking about Hogan returning there, but he's going to be in that and win it, right?

Blaise330
Aug 13, 2007



fatherofmustard posted:

They have over 3 hours to fill

Coulda had Buddy Murphy come out and do something. I don’t want the endless 205 live 6 man tag team matches to return to raw but they could forward a storyline or two.

DeepDickPizza posted:

So is the World Cup thing just going to be all of the veterans and part-timers that aren't in the DX/Brothers of Destruction match?

Like people were joking about Hogan returning there, but he's going to be in that and win it, right?

If Joe gets in we’ll have 3 Americans. With Hogan we got Mr. America

Blaise330 fucked around with this message at Oct 9, 2018 around 06:49

Fat Lowtax
Nov 9, 2008


"I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a big anime titty"




They better do another Saudi vs. Iran angle with the Daivaris. I think there were reports of guys in the stadium calling the police and thinking Shawn from Minneapolis was declaring war

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Jeremy Corbyn has been made the subject of an official complaint to the Labour party over his suggestion in 2013 that some British Zionists do not understand 'English irony'.

Are you offended?

Why not put in a complaint?




Blaise330 posted:

Coulda had Buddy Murphy come out and do something. I don’t want the endless 205 live 6 man tag team matches to return to raw but they could forward a storyline or two.


If Joe gets in we’ll have 3 Americans. With Hogan we got Mr. America

*puts finger to brain* America can't lose the cup if they're the only country in it

Veryslightlymad
Jun 3, 2007

Somehow, even more irritating than I look.

Cavauro posted:

Why count the turns? the number could be a very cool mystery. it could extend beyond one night. the great era of turning. No one knows how many there were, except for the lord.

Big Show doesn't return until Smackdown, dude.

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.

Veryslightlymad posted:

Big Show doesn't return until Smackdown, dude.

He's not the only one who can turn heel.

Liquid Cannibalism
Mar 9, 2004

Delicious and Nutritious



Fun Shoe

Cavauro posted:

why doesn't Sami Zayn try to get out of his contract? he does not have any dependants. I wonder if he is a bad person trying to pretend to be good

Because he's sitting out injuries.

Who knows if he'll actually come back once he's healed up, but it's likely, since much like Balor, Nakamura, and KENTA this is his chance to make retirement money after all the beatings he gave his body to make art.

I've given up on expecting WWE to take advantage of all that talent to make money, so I'll settle for being okay with him getting paid.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

andey...


There will always be excuses for Sami Zayn. did you know he always goes out of his way to bother famous musicians for their time?

Mr. Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007



Lio Rush is so bad that I had enough Raw like ten minutes in or whenever he showed up and watched something else

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011

Me uni a la Revolucion #RXT


el sabe ...


Isn't Lio Rush's thing that he does a lot of cool moves but when he opens his mouth/keyboard he comes off as an unlikable dumbass (not in an Enzo way)?

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008



Gravy Boat 2k

The_Rob posted:

Remember when DX reunited in 06 and it sucked then?

Then

Now

Forever

Blaise330
Aug 13, 2007



Lio Rush is that one friend your brother has who makes you groan anytime you hear he’s at your house.

You know, cause of the World Cup we might get Cena vs Angle again.. time is a closed circle

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Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Jeremy Corbyn has been made the subject of an official complaint to the Labour party over his suggestion in 2013 that some British Zionists do not understand 'English irony'.

Are you offended?

Why not put in a complaint?




rare Magic card l00k posted:

Isn't Lio Rush's thing that he does a lot of cool moves but when he opens his mouth/keyboard he comes off as an unlikable dumbass (not in an Enzo way)?

I was enjoying him in his face role but he was so drat obnoxious today.

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