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DivisionPost
Jun 28, 2006

Nobody likes you.
Everybody hates you.
You're gonna lose.

Smile, you fuck.




Well, tonight snuck up on me. Let's see how fast I can do this.

WHAT IS RIVERDALE?

It's the Archie comics as a teen drama.

Wait, no, that's not it. It's the Archie comics as a teen drama on Heisenberg meth. Created by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, former producing writer on Glee and current chief creative officer of Archie comics—he's at least half the reason why Archie became cool again—this show started out as a Twin Peaks riff by way of Dawson's Creek, which then became a pastiche of David Fincher's Zodiac, and then threw in a little Single White Female when it needed to slow down, then said "gently caress it" and turned into all the most memorable parts of The Godfather and Goodfellas, then it decided to do The Candidate, Rebel Without a Cause, and maybe a little bit of West Side Story and Lesbian Robin Hood before doubling down on the slasher movie aesthetic with a whole lot of Silence of the Lambs mixed in for good measure...and it did while keeping its characters mostly grounded and thoroughly entertaining.

In short, this show drives people loving insane and it's glorious. Granted, it seems inevitable that it'll collapse under the weight of its own ambition and insanity, and based on other CW shows it looks like it's due to happen <checks notes> right about now, so this show might not be as fun to watch anymore. But if you haven't seen this, go watch it on Netflix and draw your own conclusions.


WHAT HAPPENED LAST SEASON?

In short: Archie's been framed for murder by Hiram Lodge, who's forming a league of supervillains to help him profit off the decline of Riverdale now that his wife is mayor. Veronica owns Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe despite being like 16. Jughead just took over The Serpents from his old man; Cheryl Blossom is now a member alongside her girlfriend Toni Topaz. Betty's dad turned out to be a serial killer and is now imprisoned, and Betty's mom might have just been indoctrinated into a cult by her eldest daughter Polly.

Yeah this show is off the chain.


WHAT'S HAPPENING THIS SEASON?

  • Penelope Ann Miller is set to play the prosecutor that brings the case against Archie. It's been hinted in cast and crew interviews that this plot might not last that long, but I'll believe it when I see it.
  • Riley Keough will make a one-shot appearance as a farm girl next door type who has a run-in with Archie and Jughead and turns out to be super creepy. Keough—a possible future Oscar winner—is a huge fan of the show. She tweeted her desire to be in it, RAS noticed, and got her set up.
  • Gina Gershon will appear in the midseason finale as Jughead's mother. Jellybean—or JB—will be with her too, played by Trinity Linkins; they run a chop shop together because this is loving Riverdale.

WHERE CAN I LOSE MY poo poo ABOUT THIS SHOW BESIDES HERE?

If you're not listening to the podcast Sex Archie, hosted by Goon Emeritus General Ironicus (Grant) and his wife Alaina, you're doing it very, very wrong.


ANYTHING ELSE?

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, which is apparently set in the Riverdale universe (though is unlikely to crossover...so far), drops on October 26th. That'll probably get its own thread, but if you want to discuss it a little bit in here when it does air, please use spoiler tags for the next month and give people a chance to catch up. Thanks!

Oh, and here's where the thread title comes from:



All right, roll on Season 3!

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Senerio
Oct 19, 2009

I call the darkness unto me from deepest depths of Earth and sea. From ancient evils unawoken, break the one that can't be broken. To blackest night, I pledge my soul and crush my heart to burning coal. To summon forth a deathly power, to see my hated foe devoured.


I'm all set to watch RIverdale and suck face.

Kazinsal
Dec 13, 2011



Wait hold up this starts again tonight?

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

There are no such things as miracles.




poo poo it's back again already???

DivisionPost
Jun 28, 2006

Nobody likes you.
Everybody hates you.
You're gonna lose.

Smile, you fuck.


Kazinsal posted:

Wait hold up this starts again tonight?

esperterra posted:

poo poo it's back again already???

IT SURE IS. There are a couple of developments I’m not a fan of but hooooo mama this one ended strong.

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

Did you do somethin' with your hair?



I'm already an episode behind!

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

yay


Just watched the new episode, as usual things escalated SO quickly

cant cook creole bream
Aug 15, 2011
I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

DivisionPost posted:

If you're not listening to the podcast Sex Archie, hosted by Goon Emeritus General Ironicus (Grant) and his wife Alaina, you're doing it very, very wrong.


You might consider linking that.


BEGINNING: I'm 3 minutes in the and I already feel kinda disgusted by Archie. Wearing a tuxedo with a bow-tie to a court hearing just feels so douchey. It basically signals that you just want to get this over with because he wants to go to prom later tonight.
Granted, it's probably the only nice suit he owns, but a tie isn't that expensive. Frankly, wearing a shirt and jeans would make a better impression.
Am I wrong about this? That is weird, right?

Looking a bit closer, that's actually more of a dark grey suit jacked. In that outfit he looks more like a creepy English teacher.

CLOSE TO END: Oh god, Archie you goddamn oaf! He's determined to make the worst impulsive decisions at all time.

That ending was a bit weird.


Honestly, it feels like the show is back on course. A lot of cool and weird poo poo going on, which gets sidelined because we have to follow Archie around.

cant cook creole bream fucked around with this message at Oct 11, 2018 around 18:54

The Duggler
Feb 20, 2011

I do not hear you, I do not see you, I will not let you get into the Duggler's head with your bring-downs.


How the gently caress is season 3 out already? Feels like this just ended...

Anyway can't wait to finish my totally serious adult job so I can go watch sexy Archie and the sexy gang

ruddiger
Jun 3, 2004

No whammy, no whammy, no whammy...

I love when the show has a stupidly over-the-top melodramatic plot point revolving around a ridiculously named character.

"Alright Sweet Pea, round up the gang and let's infiltrate the southside so we can rescue Hotdog from the Ghoulies!"

TheCenturion
May 3, 2013
HI I LIKE TO GIVE ADVICE ON RELATIONSHIPS

ruddiger posted:

"Alright Sweet Pea, round up the gang and let's infiltrate the southside so we can rescue Hotdog from the Ghoulies!"

Only registered members can see post attachments!

CottonWolf
Jul 20, 2012

Could you imagine the step?
It's genius!


Edgar Evernever. What a name.

E: Also, that ending. 10/10. What even is this show now?

CottonWolf fucked around with this message at Oct 11, 2018 around 21:21

precision
May 7, 2006

Gonna have me some good friends around
Gonna have me some good times in town


Sexy Archie is what America wants

Matinee
Sep 15, 2007



Extremely excited to watch new Riverdale and suck face later. In the meantime, can anybody give me a number of minutes until shirtless and glistening KJ Apa for this new ep?

d0grent
Dec 5, 2004



it's like 10 lmao

Shneak
Mar 6, 2015

"Doctor, listen to me and listen to me closely.
You're gonna witness all the days..."


There are so many shirtless Archie scenes for no reason in this episode. It's been a long summer.

That fuckin' cliffhanger

Comrade Fakename
Feb 13, 2012


Holy poo poo, they’re going True Detective Season One!

discworld is all I read
Apr 7, 2009

DAIJOUBU!! ... Daijoubu ?? ?


"Ya know, Ronnie, it's not that I've been worried about getting shiv'ed in prison...no, I'm just afraid I'm not going to be at graduation with you guys."

No, Archie, please be worried about being shiv'ed in prison. Getting stabbed probably sucks. I did sincerely enjoy this episode; the melodrama was thick, everyone was banging each other during the summer (though I feel like Moose was feeling weird cause he already lost his anal virginity and he didn't want to make Kevin feel weird), and it seemed like everyone was very moist throughout. And oh man, that ending was amazing though I feel like it's all just going to lead into 'The Farm' putting people on hallucinogenics and working over the D'n'D nerds as well as the abused women to make them docile.

Skwirl
May 13, 2007

No you're wrong

cant cook creole bream posted:

You might consider linking that.


BEGINNING: I'm 3 minutes in the and I already feel kinda disgusted by Archie. Wearing a tuxedo with a bow-tie to a court hearing just feels so douchey. It basically signals that you just want to get this over with because he wants to go to prom later tonight.

Criticizing the costume choices on this show is weird. It's like being upset at Game of Thrones for the gratuitous violence and nudity. Also, if you're getting upset about the choice on an in universe level it's his mother's fault for letting him show up like that.

cant cook creole bream
Aug 15, 2011
I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

Skwirl posted:

Criticizing the costume choices on this show is weird. It's like being upset at Game of Thrones for the gratuitous violence and nudity. Also, if you're getting upset about the choice on an in universe level it's his mother's fault for letting him show up like that.

Never let your mother pick your cothes, I guess.

Mameluke
Aug 2, 2013
some dirty-sneaker-inbred-out of the woods-Pabst beer pussy methhead-junkie running all around town telling EVERYONE EVERYTHING ABOUT ELON MUSK


Skwirl posted:

Criticizing the costume choices on this show is weird. It's like being upset at Game of Thrones for the gratuitous violence and nudity. Also, if you're getting upset about the choice on an in universe level it's his mother's fault for letting him show up like that.

It's unrealistic for Cheryl to have worn a bra at her pool party, upstate New York is already a bit nippy by the end of August

General Ironicus
Aug 21, 2008

Something about this feels kinda hinky


DivisionPost posted:

WHERE CAN I LOSE MY poo poo ABOUT THIS SHOW BESIDES HERE?

If you're not listening to the podcast Sex Archie, hosted by Goon Emeritus General Ironicus (Grant) and his wife Alaina, you're doing it very, very wrong.


Thank you both very much! I think I'm going to keep experimenting with sound gags after the latest episode, gotta keep things fresh.

^burtle
Jul 17, 2001

God of Boomin'


Look Ronnie, I know we just smashed in a ravine, 3 feet away from where Betty and Jughead were banging, next to a street, a well lit house and the public swimming hole, but I'm gonna opt for jail now.

TheCenturion
May 3, 2013
HI I LIKE TO GIVE ADVICE ON RELATIONSHIPS

I love this show so much, and I hope there's some sort of in-show explanation for Dilton's new lifestyle.

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

yay


I gotta be honest, the whole weird virginity loosing pack thing Kevin was talking about made no sense to me. I mean, wasn't there a whole subplot about Kevin hooking up with guys in the woods? And then he also dated Joaquin for quite a while. Oh, and Moose was with Midge for years and there's a 100% chance they had sex. They're both good guys, and I'm glad they're making progress on their relationship, but unless the show is reconning some things neither of them are virgins so I have no idea what Kevin was going on about.

The best part of that scene is that Moose looked just as confused about what Kevin was saying as I was. Like, "Dude, are you trying to say you want to hook up with me on Halloween? Then why not just say 'I wanna hook up on Halloween'?"

Somewhat Heroic
Oct 11, 2007

(Insert Mad Max related text)

General Ironicus posted:

Thank you both very much! I think I'm going to keep experimenting with sound gags after the latest episode, gotta keep things fresh.

He makes an appearance! I’ve listened to the show since you started and DP posted a link. You and your wife are great.

Who criticizes the costuming of this show? It’s awesome. Those last three minutes went plaid for me. My wife and I couldn’t even move from the couch. totally hoping we suck face later

Skwirl
May 13, 2007

No you're wrong

cant cook creole bream posted:

Never let your mother pick your cothes, I guess.

In this specific instance his mother is also his defense attorney, and it is absolutely your attorney's job to advice you on what to wear to court.

Binary Logic
Dec 28, 2000

Whatever tape you found in that VCR, it isn't mine.

Fun Shoe

Are they still in high school, in some scenes Betty looks mid-20s.

Mameluke posted:

It's unrealistic for Cheryl to have worn a bra at her pool party, upstate New York is already a bit nippy by the end of August

Archie admitted his guilt in the courtroom and got a really light sentence for killing someone. What is momlawyer going to base her appeal on?!

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

yay


Skwirl posted:

In this specific instance his mother is also his defense attorney, and it is absolutely your attorney's job to advice you on what to wear to court.

And this is why you should never let your mother be your attorney, no matter how good she is: it's not technically illegal, but your mom thinks you look good in everything and thus can't accurately advice you on what outfit to wear so you end up taking the stand looking like a total dork.

cant cook creole bream
Aug 15, 2011
I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

Mameluke posted:

It's unrealistic for Cheryl to have worn a bra at her pool party, upstate New York is already a bit nippy by the end of August

Obviously there's a heatwave. Everyone in court was fanning their faces. Besides, it's not like Cheryl would ever care how practical her outfits are. She'd wear a scuba-suit in a desert, if she wants to make a point.

cant cook creole bream fucked around with this message at Oct 14, 2018 around 00:09

Shneak
Mar 6, 2015

"Doctor, listen to me and listen to me closely.
You're gonna witness all the days..."


Binary Logic posted:

Are they still in high school, in some scenes Betty looks mid-20s.

In Jughead's intro narration he said it's the summer before their junior year

Malpais Legate
Oct 1, 2014



The woman playing Josie is like, 30. This is pretty normal in tv shows like this.

Teen Wolf comes to mind, when they didn't have an actual teenager on the cast until the penultimate season.

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

There are no such things as miracles.




DivisionPost posted:

There are a couple of developments I’m not a fan of but hooooo mama this one ended strong.

hell,

Skwirl
May 13, 2007

No you're wrong

Binary Logic posted:

Are they still in high school, in some scenes Betty looks mid-20s.


Welcome to every prime time teen melodrama.

They also don't age in real time, all the main characters in The O.C. have driver's licenses from the very episode but it takes them 4 years to graduate despite not being held back

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

There are no such things as miracles.




Skwirl posted:

Criticizing the costume choices on this show is weird. It's like being upset at Game of Thrones for the gratuitous violence and nudity. Also, if you're getting upset about the choice on an in universe level it's his mother's fault for letting him show up like that.

dont even get me started on molly ringwald's oversized suit

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

yay


Malpais Legate posted:

The woman playing Josie is like, 30. This is pretty normal in tv shows like this.

Teen Wolf comes to mind, when they didn't have an actual teenager on the cast until the penultimate season.

It's honestly for the best, the actor lifestyle can be super hard on kids. Weirdly old looking teens is the price we have to pay to ensure no one on screen is getting abused or exploited off camera I say that's a price worth paying.

Skwirl
May 13, 2007

No you're wrong

Space Cadet Omoly posted:

It's honestly for the best, the actor lifestyle can be super hard on kids. Weirdly old looking teens is the price we have to pay to ensure no one on screen is getting abused or exploited off camera I say that's a price worth paying.

Remember Skins?

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

Did you do somethin' with your hair?



All these teens are so jacked. And stacked.

I don't understand why Archie got a fake serpent tattoo? surely a real one would help in prison. Also why did Jughead's also look painted on when I think he has one? Also I should say I think the tattoo make up on this show looks good. I'm used to soaps putting the blackest black on people without it fading or blending onto the skin. It's a minor peeve of mine.


also also was..hotdog a different breed before?

MorgaineDax
Nov 29, 2004

Storm On The Sea Of Galilee, it's called, and he's in it. Old Rembrandt, he's in the painting. He's in there, right in the middle of the storm, looking straight at you. But... you can't see him. And the reason you can't see him is because the painting has been stolen.


Wedge Regret

Hot Dog is a sheep dog and Vegas is a lab I think. Maybe you're thinking of that one.

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radlum
May 13, 2013


I just saw this and Crazy Ex Girlfriend and what is it with CW protagonists being completely idiotic about jail?

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