What's it like having sex?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What's it like having sex?

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i like that: May 22, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

Since we are learning so much about social interaction in GBS lately.

Discuss...

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:16

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 05:43

Pimpy Longcockings: Oct 6, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

Well your mother likes getting hosed in the rear end while being strangled.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:19

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

It's like a black fly in your Chardonnay

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:19

Cubone: May 26, 2011; Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

bad

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:21

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

it's loud and sweaty and you might have anxiety about accidental pregnancy. it's also a sign of intimacy or something, but i still would advise against it.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:25

Loden Taylor: Aug 11, 2003

It's best expressed through superstring theory, which makes it a difficult concept to grasp for the layman. Also, the ongoing lack of experimental evidence leads many to believe that sex just doesn't exist.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:26

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Cubone posted:

bad

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:26

YerAuraBoresMeAlice: Dec 26, 2005

Fluids. Lots of fluids.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:27

Scrotum Modem: Sep 12, 2014

if one or both of you are fat fucks then expect gross sounds of fatty fat slapping together with every thrust

e: get enough fat people loving each other in the same room and you'll be able to recreate the sound of an audience applause

Scrotum Modem fucked around with this message at 02:31 on Oct 15, 2018

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:29

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

Idk it�s been so long I don�t really remember. I think it was good?

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:30

sexy tiger boobs: Aug 23, 2002; Up shit creek with a turd for a paddle.

like stinky cheese

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:30

super macho dude: Aug 9, 2014

Like masturbation but less rewarding

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:31

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Joe Mama Poonana posted:

if one or both of you are fat fucks then expect gross sounds of fatty fat slapping together with every thrust

e: get enough fat people loving each other in the same room and you'll be able to recreate the sound of an audience applause

If I wasn't hugely fat and stupid how is she going to get embarrassed and sad enough for me to get off?

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:33

i like that: May 22, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

Pimpy Longcockings posted:

Well your mother likes getting hosed in the rear end while being strangled.

That doesn't answer my question at all. Maybe this is some some kind of cringe post gimmick account...

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:33

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

addendum: when you clean the fish, work AGAINST the scales. if it is difficult to do, pass it off, since hearing you had trouble with it will make your partner insecure and less open.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:34

Pimpy Longcockings: Oct 6, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

i like that posted:

That doesn't answer my question at all. Maybe this is some some kind of cringe post gimmick account...

Oh it is missing something. I get about 3 dennys breakfast slams worth of poo poo all over my pelvic region.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:36

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Same as poopin. :shrug:

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:36

i like that: May 22, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

vyst posted:

It's like a black fly in your Chardonnay

It's like a black what in my what?

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:37

i like that: May 22, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

Pimpy Longcockings posted:

Oh it is missing something. I get about 3 dennys breakfast slams worth of poo poo all over my pelvic region.

Why are you doing this?

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:38

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

pro tip: one out of three women will challenge you to a game of mancala before sex. to quote "seal" the "deal" unquote, you must scoop all the stones out of the board and swallow them while making eye contact.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:44

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

i wanna do the sex

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:45

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

Tolkien minority posted:

i wanna do the sex

i got you bruh

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:47

Tetracube: Feb 12, 2014; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

it feels exactly like the rush of dopamine you get when you take a man's life

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:48

Gregslo: Dec 9, 2005; Is that you John Wayne? Is this me?

The fur on your costume gets matted down until it gets to be like dreadlocks.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:53

Path to Absolution: Sep 25, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

"If one, longing for sexual pleasure, achieves it, yes, he's enraptured at heart. The mortal gets what he wants. But if for that person � longing, desiring � the pleasures diminish, he's shattered, as if shot with an arrow.

So one, always mindful, should avoid sexual desires. Letting them go, he will cross over the flood like one who, having bailed out the boat, has reached the far shore."

- Gautama Buddha

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:54

i like that: May 22, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

Cubone posted:

bad

Always?

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:56

i like that: May 22, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

Loden Taylor posted:

It's best expressed through superstring theory, which makes it a difficult concept to grasp for the layman. Also, the ongoing lack of experimental evidence leads many to believe that sex just doesn't exist.

It shouldn't.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:57

i like that: May 22, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

YerAuraBoresMeAlice posted:

Fluids. Lots of fluids.

Drain the swamp

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:58

i like that: May 22, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

Joe Mama Poonana posted:

if one or both of you are fat fucks then expect gross sounds of fatty fat slapping together with every thrust

e: get enough fat people loving each other in the same room and you'll be able to recreate the sound of an audience applause

Do you just like, tune that out? Or does it become a sexy sound? Maybe thins are missing out...

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:59

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Pimpy Longcockings posted:

Well your mother likes getting hosed in the rear end while being strangled.

same

# ? Oct 15, 2018 03:00

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

I had sex once. It was pretty good

# ? Oct 15, 2018 03:00

spinderella: Jul 15, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

If it has been a while....
Oh yes there it s no denying
This is why it is such a big deal---
Thousands of years if evolution have made it so....

Undeniably the peak experience for a hunan is to gently caress well, fulfillingly; to come to orgasm from penetration.

Porn, romance, much of literature and art: all of it is in homage to the feeling of satisfaction and completeness that arises from those few moments.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 03:01

i like that: May 22, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

Tolkien minority posted:

i wanna do the sex

It comes with consequences

# ? Oct 15, 2018 03:03

Rakosi: May 5, 2008; D&D: HASBARA SQUAD
NO-QUARTERMASTER

From the river (of Palestinian blood) to the sea (of Palestinian tears)

I like it but my wife doesnt i guess it depends on the individual

# ? Oct 15, 2018 03:04

i like that: May 22, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

spinderella posted:

If it has been a while....
Oh yes there it s no denying
This is why it is such a big deal---
Thousands of years if evolution have made it so....

Undeniably the peak experience for a hunan is to gently caress well, fulfillingly; to come to orgasm from penetration.

Porn, romance, much of literature and art: all of it is in homage to the feeling of satisfaction and completeness that arises from those few moments.

Romance is dead

# ? Oct 15, 2018 03:06

fakeaccount: Jun 22, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

there's a lot of hidden tips and tricks.

If you're sick of fuckin a girl, just ask her if you can put it in her rear end. She'll get disgusted, pull her stinking clam off you, and go away.
squeeze a finger in there along with your dick.
While we're talking fingers, get a loving nail file and learn how to use it, cause if you scratch the inside of her pussy, she won't gently caress you again for a week.

consult your latest issue of gamepro for more secret codes and passwords!

# ? Oct 15, 2018 03:07

Loden Taylor: Aug 11, 2003

When you die, you go before Crom, who will ask you, "what is the riddle of sex?" If you don't know the answer, Crom will cast you out of Valhalla and laugh at you.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 03:08

Linux Pirate: Apr 21, 2012

like salty milk and coins.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 03:13

Rakosi: May 5, 2008; D&D: HASBARA SQUAD
NO-QUARTERMASTER

From the river (of Palestinian blood) to the sea (of Palestinian tears)

fakeaccount posted:

there's a lot of hidden tips and tricks.

If you're sick of fuckin a girl, just ask her if you can put it in her rear end. She'll get disgusted, pull her stinking clam off you, and go away.

squeeze a finger in there along with your dick.

While we're talking fingers, get a loving nail file and learn how to use it, cause if you scratch the inside of her pussy, she won't gently caress you again for a week.

consult your latest issue of gamepro for more secret codes and passwords!

I heard that the inside of your cheek is the same type of structure biologically as the inside of a vagina so i guess if your nails can scratch the inside of your mouth, trim them.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stratified_squamous_epithelium

# ? Oct 15, 2018 03:14

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 05:43

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

What feels better to stick your dick into? The clit or the vagina?

# ? Oct 15, 2018 03:14

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