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I got a jury summons form in the mail, do you guys think this is the best way to get out of it? Has anyone tried something like this before?
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 02:38 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 22:37 |
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No. Show up. When questioned find an earnest opportunity to say "jury nullification". You'll lose a day but not multiple days.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 02:43 |
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https://twitter.com/dasharez0ne/status/1042478459551920130?s=19
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 02:45 |
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da mf sharez0ne
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 02:47 |
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tell them that objective truth is unattainable but go barefoot to really sell it
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 03:19 |
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The classic way to get booted from jury duty was to say something racist during the selection process but Nazis are really in right now so you'd probably just be on the fast track to putting away some black guy for the rest of his life for jaywalking or some poo poo. Maybe poo poo your pants or something.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 03:20 |
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Do your civic duty OP.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 03:21 |
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nvm
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 03:48 |
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TheReverend posted:No. Show up. When questioned find an earnest opportunity to say "jury nullification". alternatively, be as conservative-looking as possible to get OKed by the prosecutor and if you get assigned to a case with bullshit charges then do some actual jury nullification
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 04:04 |
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A new law is passed that everything you said during your juror selection is made public to all your employers. What's your plan now?
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 04:06 |
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Tell the judge that your dad was a cop and he taught you growing up that criminals are always guilty. Then give him the finger and call him a fuckman.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 04:06 |
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Just tell them you're racist
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 04:07 |
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i was a juror on a horrifying child abuse case. dude beat his infant son to the point of blindness and mental retardation. that’s all i wanted to post.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 04:10 |
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WatermelonGun posted:i was a juror on a horrifying child abuse case. dude beat his infant son to the point of blindness and mental retardation. well if you're ok with abortion you should be ok with that too.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 04:12 |
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he was about ten months old and his eyes went two different ways his dad beat him. a doctor testified that he was more that likely gonna have the mind of a one year old for the rest of his life. really rewarding experience. america is good
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 04:16 |
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WatermelonGun posted:he was about ten months old and his eyes went two different ways his dad beat him. a doctor testified that he was more that likely gonna have the mind of a one year old for the rest of his life.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 04:59 |
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WatermelonGun posted:he was about ten months old and his eyes went two different ways his dad beat him. a doctor testified that he was more that likely gonna be of two minds the rest of his life.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 05:00 |
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Just yell "smoke weed everyday!" when you enter the courtroom
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 05:03 |
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TheReverend posted:No. Show up. When questioned find an earnest opportunity to say "jury nullification". I wish there was a way to let them know ahead of time so you don't need to actually go down to the courthouse. "I believe every human law and regulation is an infringement on the rights granted by nature, and I will vote "not guilty" regardless of crime, circumstances, or evidence and be protected in doing so by the concept of jury nullification. Do I still have to show up?" I guess they'd probably still make you come down just to spite you.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 05:09 |
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What's worse: Being judged by people too dumb to get out of jury duty or being judged by people who WANT to be on a jury
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 05:11 |
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Also loving lmao if you go to trial with a public defender
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 05:13 |
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Sovereign citizen antics until a cop shows up then scream stolen valor. You will be missed op
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 05:15 |
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Right now I'm planning on just checking the boxes that say "this is a financial hardship" and that "I'm mentally disabled," then not bothering showing up.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 05:17 |
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Honestly you should go. It's always interesting/terrifying to see the criminal justice system in "action"
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 05:19 |
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The disabled thing I worry about because they can use it against you in the future (like when detainees were tortured at guantanomo so bad, they became psychotic and the psychosis was used against them to say they were not credible or competent sufficiently to have believable claims). Just like when people are depressed and suicidal because of bad things that happened to them sometimes due to the government, and then they are used for convenient ends and murdered off during cover ups and the cause of death is listed as suicide. What I'm saying is leave the country immediately.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 05:23 |
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i like that posted:The disabled thing I worry about because they can use it against you in the future But then I would just get a gun illegally haha there are plenty to go around
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 05:28 |
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i like that posted:The disabled thing I worry about because they can use it against you in the future (like when detainees were tortured at guantanomo so bad, they became psychotic and the psychosis was used against them to say they were not credible or competent sufficiently to have believable claims). Just like when people are depressed and suicidal because of bad things that happened to them sometimes due to the government, and then they are used for convenient ends and murdered off during cover ups and the cause of death is listed as suicide. Yeah but what’s really funny is when the government fucks up trying to murder you about 10,000 times and it’s just become a rolling joke that people just sort of do a shallow dry laugh to anymore.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 05:29 |
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I tried to get out of jury duty with the financial hardship/mental health caveats. It didn’t work despite having documentation. Thankfully I didn’t get called to drive an hour and a half for up to a month or whatever it is that they can hold you to for federal cases.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 06:42 |
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I've never been called to jury duty but I'd be an excellent juror. I'd hold everything to my basic human principles and the rights of every man and they shall not be infringed regardless of the law. I would not get selected. edit: I guess if they looked at my mental health record they might toss me immediately. But hey, HIPPA laws. heh
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 07:25 |
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I got jury duty a couple times. It was worth the effort because actual justice was done. The first one we the jury found a land developer guilty of being a lying shitheel and fined him $5000. The last one we found an old broke retired dude not guilty of some bullshit minor thing and saved him from a big rear end fine.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 07:34 |
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haljordan posted:Also loving lmao if you go to trial with a public defender they always let you down which is why i always defend myself in court https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDdwCYUdNfc
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 07:55 |
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Who's law? Your law or my law, joker.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 07:55 |
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Sintax posted:Right now I'm planning on just checking the boxes that say "this is a financial hardship" and that "I'm mentally disabled," then not bothering showing up. That's a catch 22 though mate. If you tick yes I'm mentally disabled they will retort with "you can answer these forms though"
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 08:10 |
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Check all the boxes, check boxes that arent even there
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 08:20 |
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Gridlocked posted:That's a catch 22 though mate. If you tick yes I'm mentally disabled they will retort with "you can answer these forms though" if he's got down syndrome it's actually called a catch 21
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 08:51 |
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Sintax posted:I got a jury summons form in the mail, do you guys think this is the best way to get out of it? Has anyone tried something like this before? You have to show up. But here's my 'never ever get picked' guidelines: - Wear an old shirt for a week every night and don't wash it. If it has some questionable slogan, graphic violence or something on it that they can't overtly get mad at you for, all the better - Wear a necklace, keychain, or something with a little gun or knife on it on it. They hate that. - Absolutely, positively gently caress up your hair and leave it like that. Run some grease in it and part it wrong. - If you get called into the jury room, cough and clear your nose a lot and don't cover it - Loudly whisper to the jurors about how you can't wait to "get some son of a bitch thrown in jail" in the courtroom I've never gotten selected so I've never had to break out the -really- extreme options but I'm happy with the 100% rate at which I get to go home. Also can I say 'jury of your peers' actually means 'Jury of people too loving stupid to get out of jury duty' so God help you if you commit a crime. Blazing Ownager fucked around with this message at 09:41 on Oct 17, 2018 |
# ? Oct 17, 2018 09:38 |
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I was madame foreperson a few years ago and the public defender was sexaay. He did a really good job too so it was too bad his client was guilty. That's my jury duty story.
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 09:50 |
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Blazing Ownager posted:- Wear an old shirt for a week every night and don't wash it. If it has some questionable slogan, graphic violence or something on it that they can't overtly get mad at you for, all the better https://younggodrecords.com/products/swans-you-loving-people-shirt
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 10:51 |
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you should do it because it might be a non-violent drug charge that someone shouldn't be convicted for
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 11:00 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 22:37 |
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Blazing Ownager posted:You have to show up. But here's my 'never ever get picked' guidelines: i thought you were't going to post in gbs any more lol
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# ? Oct 17, 2018 11:00 |