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Bombadilillo posted:Small price to pay to Oh she didn't get the Xbox (note that this was AFTER Skyrim had gone backwards compatible on the XBOne, which I also had), but she did get the dog, my truck, and rob me for about 1500 bucks on the way out the door.
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Oct 17, 2018 18:53
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 00:11 |
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chinese hair cave posted:leave me for a dude who talked to himself and believed that he was god and told her that he would send all of her family to hell if she didn’t have sex with him every day you laugh but god gets laid everyday, and you're just here posting
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Oct 17, 2018 19:04
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Broke my heart through sheer avarice and selfishness. Milked my teen self of all self-worth. Then she cheated her roommates of thousands because she stopped paying her rent at college, then her mother was sued. She moved out of state to go to "law school" but ended up bodybuilding. Not sure how I fell for that, but man I fell hard. Cut that one off clean but she's such a loving moron that every once in a while, through the grape vine, I hear of some other dumb poo poo she got herself into. I never ask for the information, it's simply provided as if I wanted a giggle. Ultimately, I still miss her.
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Oct 17, 2018 19:09
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Smoked crack. She nonchalantly told me about it a week afterwards and was surprised why I was so upset about it. I should have ended it there, but I was very young and very stupid and very in love, in as much as you genuinely can be at 17.
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Oct 17, 2018 19:14
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I am unquestionably the weird one in all my relationships, but my first partner was a crazy overachiever who didn't sleep. She would get octuple shots of espresso in a regular coffee cup, and slept somewhere between 3-4 hours a night. Unsurprisingly, this lead to some unstable behavior. I once saw her burst into tears because a friend got her a watch at a thrift store, which she loved, but the watch said "Made in China," which meant it was made in a sweatshop.
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Oct 17, 2018 19:18
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I once went on a pseudo-date with a girl who informed me that she thought AIDS would be good for humanity, because it would "reduce overpopulation." Somehow didn't bail right there, but I did when she later explained that she was concerned I was a vampire (because I didn't walk into her apartment without being invited). We never spoke again.
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Oct 17, 2018 19:19
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FactsAreUseless posted:I once went on a pseudo-date with a girl who informed me that she thought AIDS would be good for humanity, because it would "reduce overpopulation." Somehow didn't bail right there, but I did when she later explained that she was concerned I was a vampire (because I didn't walk into her apartment without being invited). We never spoke again. She's posting on another forum in a similar thread, "One time I dated a vampire. I could tell, because he wouldn't come into my apartment without being invited. When I called him out on it, he never spoke to me again." 
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Oct 17, 2018 19:23
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Ou haven't clarified if you are a vampire
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Oct 17, 2018 19:26
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Was she right because if so I think she was right to be concerned
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Oct 17, 2018 19:26
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FactsAreUseless posted:she later explained that she was concerned I was a vampire (because I didn't walk into her apartment without being invited). We never spoke again.
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Oct 17, 2018 19:30
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walked in on an ex who, after a night of drinking and cocaine, tried to take a dump in the fridge before I yelled "NO"
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Oct 17, 2018 19:43
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FactsAreUseless posted:Somehow didn't bail right there, but I did when she later explained that she was concerned I was a vampire (because I didn't walk into her apartment without being invited). We never spoke again. Is it because she figured it out?
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Oct 17, 2018 19:46
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Verisimilidude posted:walked in on an ex who, after a night of drinking and cocaine, tried to take a dump in the fridge before I yelled "NO" The sink seems like the easier place to take a poo poo in the kitchen
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Oct 17, 2018 19:57
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Chrs Gry posted:Is it because she figured it out? 
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Oct 17, 2018 20:02
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dated a girl who appeared on a foot fetish youtube channel once and she maintained communication with a couple fans. She writes books about sex and relationships, and she thought this was good for her brand. One fan was an old man in a wheelchair who would send her gifts from time to time. He was also a bit of a stalker, who she had to scold via email for saying some disgusting and perverted things to her. She casually mentioned to me that she was planning to meet him in a park and let him rub her feet. We had been dating for 4-5 months by this point, were thoroughly monogamist, and at no point did she think to ask if I was comfortable with her getting a foot rub from a random pervert fan of hers, or if it was a good idea to meet with a random creepy fan.
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Oct 17, 2018 20:07
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I had an ex that started dating another dude while we were together. But just to like date. Literally just date. Like, they'd go out to dinner then I'd come over and gently caress. They'd go on a romantic waterfront walk then I'd come over and gently caress. Quite honestly it was one of the easiest relationships I've ever been in.
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Oct 17, 2018 20:21
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dated a girl who had never dated anyone before. She was in her mid twenties and was a lot of fun to hang out with, we got along very well, and we had started getting intimate. I remember at one point my finger brushed her bellybutton, which felt weird and dry, and when I looked up and investigated I found what turned out to be a piece of her umbilical cord still attached to the inside of her belly button. She later had her mom remove it.
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Oct 17, 2018 20:30
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What the gently caress?
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Oct 17, 2018 21:05
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Knew how to recite pi to 34 decimals.
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Oct 17, 2018 21:09
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Verisimilidude posted:dated a girl who had never dated anyone before. She was in her mid twenties and was a lot of fun to hang out with, we got along very well, and we had started getting intimate. I remember at one point my finger brushed her bellybutton, which felt weird and dry, and when I looked up and investigated I found what turned out to be a piece of her umbilical cord still attached to the inside of her belly button. She later had her mom remove it. Outties ARE weird
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Oct 17, 2018 21:10
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I dated a woman who kept telling me that I couldn't meet her son, but then two weeks in just brought her son on a date without warning. The next day she called me up, told me that she had to go and buy a dildo because she was so horny thinking about me, and then said, "And that's why we need to break up." Then a week later she called me, and demanded that I let her cook me dinner. She then picked me up, took me to her place, and I ate macaroni and cheese with her and her son. As soon as I finished she said, "Well, thanks for coming over, there's a bus stop down the road," and she kicked me out. For years after that I'd get a phone call from her every 3-6 months, and every time she'd say, "Oh, sorry, my son was playing with my phone and accidentally called you. So, how are you doing?" It's been like 7 years now and I still get an occasional phone call or message. We dated for 2 weeks.
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Oct 17, 2018 21:12
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Tip posted:I dated a woman who kept telling me that I couldn't meet her son, but then two weeks in just brought her son on a date without warning.
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Oct 17, 2018 21:14
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dated a girl who I tried to break up with multiple times. The first time it was still early on in the relationship, so I tried over the phone. She hung up the phone after I said "we should break up", and took a cab to my apartment, where she refused to leave with this very determined look on her face because she thought we had something special. I thought this was charming, and decided to keep dating her. A couple months passed and the same issues were apparent, so I tried to break up with her again. This time I had more conviction and did it in person. The next day she showed up at my apartment, and again refused to leave. I wasn't having it, and demanded she go. Instead she burst into tears and started sobbing uncontrollably. She went to my room and shut the door behind her. I let her cry it out and after all of that we ended up staying together. A few months after that, she was having an episode and threatened to kill herself by jumping off my roof. I had to pull her down off the ledge, and then she was back to normal 20 minutes later, laughing about the entire thing like nothing happened. A couple days later I broke up with her over the phone, and told her I'd call the cops if she showed up at my apartment again.
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Oct 17, 2018 21:17
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Eugene V. Deadlift posted:Outties ARE weird She has an innie
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Oct 17, 2018 21:19
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bubblebee posted:Tell me on our first date why dark souls 2 was bad tell me that she's a phone sex worker on the first date and then continue to talk about it in excruciating detail I guess that was more of a bad first date though
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Oct 17, 2018 21:22
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I tried my luck with a coworker. She was thin, with piercing eyes, and very cute. She took to me really well and I found her to be interesting. She came over to my place and we banged a few times. ...Then she asked me to stay at her place because her parents were out of town. I thought, "gently caress it, might be fun!". It was way out of town, she cooked dinner (mac'n'cheese with sausages) and then we retired to her room to watch a movie. So far so good. Well, her room turned out to be the whole attic in the house and every loving inch was covered in fan-girl/anime bullshit. She had a tail hanging from her headboard, she had a keysword from Kingdom Hearts that she very excitedly showed me. She asked that we watch Princess Mononoke. I'm nowhere into that scene but once again, I said gently caress it, ignoring the red flags. We got to fooling around and she went to get a toy. I'm down with that, whatever. This girl easily a couple grand in anime/manga/gamer trash laying around her room but she returned with a very budget sex toy - an electric tooth brush. ... k. So we went to town and she went ahead to misapply some dental hygiene supplies. She got frustrated and then furious as she put in some serious effort to come. Like she was crying and red-faced and a bit scary, to be honest. I'm losing steam because this is a nightmare. The night ended with her crying in the bath tub, soaking her bottom in cold water to get the swelling down, and me, sitting in a lunatic's den. I got out of there as quickly as I could. The next day at work, she quit (I found this out later in the week) and joined the Navy.  I get a chill thinking about it, still.
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Oct 17, 2018 21:35
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Imagine being so bad at masturbation that you cause severe rear end swelling, and you're so embarrassed about it that you join the Navy. She definitely posts here.
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Oct 17, 2018 21:41
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Cannon_Fodder posted:So we went to town and she went ahead to misapply some dental hygiene supplies. She got frustrated and then furious as she put in some serious effort to come. Like she was crying and red-faced and a bit scary, to be honest. I'm losing steam because this is a nightmare. you press banged her into the navy
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Oct 17, 2018 21:42
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lol but seriously I posted:you press banged her into the navy 
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Oct 17, 2018 21:44
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FactsAreUseless posted:Imagine being so bad at masturbation that you cause severe rear end swelling, and you're so embarrassed about it that you join the Navy. It's a shame she went off the deep end. I get being embarrassed but gently caress, man, that's nuts. lol but seriously I posted:you press banged her into the navy 
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Oct 17, 2018 21:46
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Watched all of 'I Love Lucy' in order repeatedly for years. Also 'Friends.'
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Oct 17, 2018 22:40
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FactsAreUseless posted:Imagine being so bad at masturbation that you cause severe rear end swelling, and you're so embarrassed about it that you join the Navy. pretty sure she got probated today too
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Oct 17, 2018 22:44
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Sierra Nevadan posted:Watched all of 'I Love Lucy' in order repeatedly for years. Also 'Friends.' like those were the only two shows she ever watched?
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Oct 17, 2018 22:51
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I was once at a tapas bar with some friends and she texted asking what I was up to. I told her “I’m at a tapas place” and she went flip and asked how I could just so casually say that and that I was a piece of poo poo and stuff. I was like “uh wtf?” and just got on with my night. Later that night she’s just ignoring my texts but we hadn’t been dating long anyway so I was thinking “fine gently caress you then” The next day when she’s finally talking to me again she starts giving me poo poo about going to a strip club because she apparently had never heard of tapas and thought I was at a “tap rear end bar”. Which isn’t a name for a strip club I’ve ever heard of but whatever this idiot thought cats and dogs were the same animal (cats were girls and dogs were the boys you see). I tried to explain to her what tapas was but she was having none of it.
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Oct 17, 2018 23:05
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who wants in on the ground floor of my tap rear end bar we'll all be millionaires
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Oct 17, 2018 23:10
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haljordan posted:who wants in on the ground floor of my tap rear end bar 
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Oct 17, 2018 23:16
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Chrs Gry posted:I was once at a tapas bar with some friends and she texted asking what I was up to. I told her “I’m at a tapas place” and she went flip and asked how I could just so casually say that and that I was a piece of poo poo and stuff. I was like “uh wtf?” and just got on with my night. So did you send her a link or something?
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Oct 17, 2018 23:20
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Read story. Assumed she thought it was a tata's mistype. Twist ending. It was even stupider!
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Oct 17, 2018 23:50
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She wanted me to tell her "nice things" as we were falling asleep EVERYNIGHT. She was super loving hot so I put up with it for a lot longer than I should have.
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Oct 17, 2018 23:59
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Died of an overdose
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Oct 18, 2018 00:13
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