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Why are there a bunch of metal guys in suits and sunglasses walking around in unison?
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Oct 19, 2018 19:48
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 17:26 |
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*picks up explosive crate* hmm... well poo poo
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Oct 19, 2018 19:57
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Gotta say, I bet human resources is glad all 20 of us nameless faceless office guards have the exact same build, height, weight, and nearly the same facial features to boot. Probably makes it easy to sort out uniform sizes.
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Oct 19, 2018 20:01
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DID SOMEONE JUST loving ATTACK THE ROOMBA?? KILL THAT MOTHER FUCKER, EVERYBODY TO ARMS
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Oct 19, 2018 20:03
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WHAT?! NO!! THE ROOMBA IS ATTACKING US INSTEAD?! TIME TO ADD YOU TO THE LIST OF NSF CASUALTIES, VACUUM CLEANER
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Oct 19, 2018 20:04
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hey is anyone interested in buying some spare ammo or weapon mods??
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Oct 19, 2018 20:09
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I'm concerned about our medical leave policies. The doctor removed a bullet five minutes ago, and the soldier is already on his feet and back in uniform. He's answering my questions about if it feels more like fire or ice to be shot in the stomach.
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Oct 19, 2018 20:13
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Praise be to the magical medical bot
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Oct 19, 2018 20:15
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*goes on mission, returns to empty office* who stole my poo poo
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Oct 19, 2018 20:21
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Get outta here, Denton!
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Oct 19, 2018 20:23
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man i wonder what in that place behind jaimes. i bet they got some better offices in there
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Oct 19, 2018 20:23
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Can't seem to break into the armory right now maybe I'll try again later
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Oct 19, 2018 20:28
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I’m here to convert your desk to ergonomic *smashes chair with baton*
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Oct 19, 2018 20:29
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Hyrax Attack! posted:I’m here to convert your desk to ergonomic I didn’t ask for this
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Oct 19, 2018 20:53
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the employee fridge is for food only bodies go in the dumpster
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Oct 19, 2018 21:05
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PantsandCola posted:YEAAAAAARRRRRGGGH-GAH I think my last playthrough was about a decade ago and the sound effect played in my head crystal clear as I read this post. Excellent transcription. Edit: i'm giggling like an idiot at this https://youtu.be/2hW5KyeyWHQ Nicodemus Dumps fucked around with this message at 21:09 on Oct 19, 2018 |
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Oct 19, 2018 21:06
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curlys gold posted:the employee fridge is for food only Cold bodies are cold LOL. u complain everywhere u go...u are banned from this supranational paramilitary force
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Oct 19, 2018 21:08
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DoctorStrangelove posted:Puts the lemon-lime soda in the slot that is supposed to be occupied by orange. Come on dude I've already done that. Go put these crates of guns in the closet instead.
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Oct 19, 2018 21:19
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That IT guy spends a lot of time building hidden cabinets and chatting over messenger but hasn't set up two step verification for e-mails. HR hasn't gotten back to me about how we're supposed to submit resignations. Better use my best judgement.
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Oct 19, 2018 21:34
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What do I dial for an outside line? I keep getting the loving message, "this number has been disconnected by order of UNATCO".
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Oct 19, 2018 21:40
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I had to change your password again so I sent it to your unsecured tablet next time don't get hacked
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Oct 19, 2018 21:40
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Why is everything black marble? Are we the bad guys?
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Oct 19, 2018 21:42
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Pesmerga posted:Why is everything black marble? Are we the bad guys? Pay no attention to the black sclera effect our protective masks give us.
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Oct 19, 2018 21:45
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Me: So with my direct deposit paperwork submitted, pay should show up in my account within the week. HR rep: No, six months.
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Oct 19, 2018 21:47
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Alex Jacobson keeps coming to my office. Anna and Gunther kicked him out again so they can gently caress in the IT room.
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Oct 19, 2018 21:48
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Hey boss, a bunch of paper cups and coasters and poo poo with an MJ12 logo showed up. Should we send it back to-- oh, I'm being disappeared now? Gotcha.
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Oct 19, 2018 21:49
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 *Stands on table during staff meeting* "I'M THE CAPTAIN NOW!"
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Oct 19, 2018 22:17
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Can we get a new armorer? I think the guy we've got now is going senile. I tried to requisition a silenced pistol for a mission and he started ranting about how he once killed a battalion with a penknife.
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Oct 19, 2018 22:24
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*gets written up for huffing expired pepper spray by the loading dock*
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Oct 19, 2018 22:26
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The commute to this office is a pain. There's only ever one police boat and that fucker Paul keeps taking it for unscheduled trips. Man I hate this job. Can't wait to move over to my new job with Versalife in Hong Kong.
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Oct 19, 2018 22:46
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Already finished up my first office prank. Yeah, I saw all those notepads with people's passwords on them, so I copied them but changed all the Os into 0s. IT is gonna have a field day lol, it'll be majestic.
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Oct 19, 2018 22:53
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Fabulousity posted:
Hahahhaha this guy gets it. Also, all the potted plants.
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Oct 19, 2018 23:11
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*places candy bar on book shelf* There, now I can start working!
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Oct 19, 2018 23:17
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man these unatco guards are bad rear end. you can bounce a basketball off their face and they dont even flinch
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Oct 19, 2018 23:21
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*explodes a gas grenade to cover up a fart*
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Oct 19, 2018 23:22
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that’s literally the entire job interview
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Oct 19, 2018 23:22
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Rex 84, short for Readiness Exercise 1984, was a classified scenario and drill developed by the United States federal government to detain large numbers of United States citizens deemed to be "national security threats", in the event that the President declared a "State of National Emergency". The plan was first revealed in detail in a major daily newspaper by reporter Alfonso Chardy in the July 5, 1987 edition of the Miami Herald. Possible reasons for such a roundup were reported to be widespread opposition to a U.S. military invasion abroad, such as if the United States were to directly invade Central America. To combat what the government perceived as "subversive activities", the plan also authorized the military to direct ordered movements of civilian populations at state and regional levels, according to Professor Diana Reynolds. Transcripts from the Iran-Contra Hearings in 1987 record the following dialogue between Congressman Jack Brooks, Oliver North's attorney Brendan Sullivan and Senator Daniel Inouye, the Democratic Chair of the joint Senate–House Committee: [Congressman Jack] Brooks: Colonel North, in your work at the N.S.C. were you not assigned, at one time, to work on plans for the continuity of government in the event of a major disaster? Brendan Sullivan [North's counsel, agitatedly]: Mr. Chairman? [Senator Daniel] Inouye: I believe that question touches upon a highly sensitive and classified area so may I request that you not touch upon that? Brooks: I was particularly concerned, Mr. Chairman, because I read in Miami papers, and several others, that there had been a plan developed, by that same agency, a contingency plan in the event of emergency, that would suspend the American constitution. And I was deeply concerned about it and wondered if that was an area in which he had worked. I believe that it was and I wanted to get his confirmation. Inouye: May I most respectfully request that that matter not be touched upon at this stage. If we wish to get into this, I'm certain arrangements can be made for an executive session. Contingency plans by the US Government for rounding up people perceived by the government to be subversive or a threat to civil order have existed for many decades. For example, from 1967 to 1971, the FBI kept a list of over 100,000 people to be rounded up as subversive, dubbed the "ADEX" list.
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Oct 19, 2018 23:28
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*Takes UNATCO flag into boss’ private bathroom* *flushes toilet* *is transported to a dance party with all of my favorite? characters*
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Oct 20, 2018 00:18
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*smokes seven packs of cigarettes in thirty seconds* HELIOS: YESSSSSSSS
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Oct 20, 2018 00:29
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 17:26 |
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jimmyjams posted:man these unatco guards are bad rear end. you can bounce a basketball off their face and they dont even flinch
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Oct 20, 2018 00:32
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