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I only have school library experience and most of my "wacky" stories involve children going apeshit when I tell them we don't have the next book in a series (which usually does not exist yet) but I'm excited for this thread!
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Oct 22, 2018 19:01
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I found discarded ham on the library floor three separate times last year. Then I found a smear of cream cheese underneath the European History shelf. I do not understand.
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Oct 23, 2018 22:43
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I sub in my school's library sometimes. We have a team of parent volunteers who are all kind and generous, but not always the most helpful. A new parent came in to help today. She spent most of the time texting and, when asked to shelve, walked around in a circle, sighed, then asked, "Where do the books go?"  I explained the layout- elementary on the right, reference in the middle, adult literature on the left. "Oh. But where do they go?" "On the shelves?" I made her Aironfix instead.
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Oct 25, 2018 15:23
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ZamBOOni_Rodeo posted:What's Aironfix in this context? Google is giving me a bunch of results in Spanish about contact paper. Yeah, it's like, uhhh, plastic sealing sheet...stuff? We put it on the paperbacks to protect them. I wasn't sure if it was a standard term or not, like Kleenex or Jello.
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Oct 25, 2018 17:40
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Are you allowed to veto book choices for kids that seem like a bad idea? Like if a six year old wanted to check out American Psycho? We do in the school library- technically- but I usually just let them take books that are "adult" unless it's really questionable. For example, The Hobbit is in the adult section, but I'll give it to anyone because, hello. I wouldn't give a third-grader Lolita, however, unless they brought a note. I'm the reason there was a "seventh graders ONLY" section at my middle school library...the bitch library teacher decided she had a say in the content I read, got mad at my mother for asking her to stop, and changed the rules out of spite. I hope she died of systemic paper cut-based infections.
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Nov 12, 2018 16:48
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By popular demand posted:Which books did she deny you? Huck Finn(RACIST)? Catcher in the Rye(CONTROVERSIAL)? A book called Shakedown Street about a homeless girl and how she lived, attended school, lived basically between two cultures, etc. It was really good, except the author kept writing "should of" and "could of," so maybe Ms. Buttface was just trying to shield me from bad English?
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Nov 12, 2018 20:09
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By popular demand posted:drat, it's not available for my kindle. It's probably out of print. Most books I liked in middle school are now. 
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Nov 12, 2018 20:34
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Shooting Blanks posted:When I was 20 or so, I read a different book that was basically Lolita but was written from the girl's point of view. Lo's Diary by Pia Pera? Best part of that book was Dmitri Nabokov's extremely salty and disapproving foreword.
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Nov 13, 2018 09:57
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Oh, god, we didn't need one, let alone two. how was it?
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Nov 13, 2018 14:58
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Parahexavoctal posted:https://archive.org/details/shakedownstreet00nasa Just did it and it's working fine. I'm going to ask the head librarian to update our resource lists, too. Thanks for reminding me about this!!! I used it a few years ago in China when I was really sad and needed to reread Maggie Adams, Dancer or I would die.
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Nov 13, 2018 15:40
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This isn't a Nabokov thread, but Humbert tells you he's an unreliable narrator and a liar right off the bat. Yes, the book portrays Lo as the aggressor, to some extent, and he does sort of treat her like a villain, but at no point is the reader meant to take his side. I could be wrong, but that's how I've always interpreted it. Also, Lolita is an amazing book and I'll pee all over all y'all's shoes to defend it (I'm sure Quilty would approve.)
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Nov 30, 2018 08:08
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therobit posted:Don't stand so close to me. You smell that? That's piss AND literature, baby.
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Nov 30, 2018 08:18
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Lurking Haro posted:Do I have to call The Police? *whispers into your ear, exhaling way too hard* "Would you like to sit on my lap as I read The Lady Who Loved Lightning, little girl?" *leers Nabokovly*
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Nov 30, 2018 15:00
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MAKE NO BABBYS posted:Danielle Steele and her daughter are both nightmares to wait on as well. If you bring tea, you better spill tea!
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Dec 1, 2018 08:20
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MAKE NO BABBYS posted:I can for sure tell the Danielle Steele stories next time I’m not on my phone! Yes, please. I once ate a few pages of Malice during a "performance art" piece it was totally IRONIC and EDGY and I didn't want to be there but this girl did soooo and I think it's still in there. Also, she is a really bad writer. So, so bad.
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Dec 3, 2018 20:08
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el dorito posted:thread, I have picked up the following OH MY GOD I AM SO EXCITED Spoilers for Malice that explains why I am so obsessed with its badness: I may be making this up because it's been a long time since I last read it, but I'm almost positive that at one point, the protagonist of Malice is cornered by a murderous lesbian (she is in jail because she shot her dad because he had been raping her ever since she was thirteen because her mother was dying of cancer and she subsequently offered Grace up to her husband sexually because ??????????reason???????????) and the lesbian sprinkles crack on Grace's boob and licks it off. I am not making up anything in the parentheses; it's only the last bit that I'm wondering if I am remembering wrong. Anyways, that book is for goddamn crazy people, and also very similar in theme to the Ashley Judd movie Double Jeopardy.
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Dec 12, 2018 15:11
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Anyone know where I might be able to buy bulk used kid's books? I am taking over a second grade homeroom class at a local international School; we don't have a library currently because we're converting the current space to be eligible for the IB. the classroom books currently are fun titles like LET'S LOOK AT ROCKS and SATURN IS A THING; my kids are not native English speakers and need some interesting poo poo.
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Dec 21, 2018 22:06
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JacquelineDempsey posted:Which country are you at right now, and do you want books in English or another language? I live right by a bulk Goodwill warehouse that sells kids books for pennies and I need something to keep me occupied while I'm vaguely out of work right now. I'd be happy to dig around and mail some boxes if shipping isn't crazy cost prohibitive (or if your school can reimburse on shipping). As I said earlier itt, I used to be a shelver that strictly dealt in children's books, so I have an idea of what's age appropriate and whatnot. Holy poo poo, would you really do this??? That would seriously be the most amazing thing ever. I'd definitely pay you back for shipping and whatever the books cost. I live in Spain now, so shipping wouldn't be cheap, but I could send you the money ahead of time if you can give me an estimate. I only need English books (Spanish books would be okay, too) and it's for second grade. As long as there aren't pages missing, I'm not too concerned about condition. AnonymousNarcotics posted:I don't know about buying in bulk but I like to go to my public library and buy their discarded children's books. They used to be 5 cents each. I'm not in the US, but thank you for the offer! Yeah, I am buying some books from my current school library's hoard of discards, albeit at 2 Euro a pop. The British supermarket has some used books, albeit mostly Kitty Kelley smear jobs and Bad Beach Books, so I'm going to check it out after Christmas. Saturn is my favorite planet, by the way! It is definitely A THING. I really do question this teacher for having zero fiction/picture books in the classroom. Just these dry-rear end readers that are trying to get kids excited about important, but boring topics. OH, BOY! LET'S LOOK AT SOIL! or CAN YOU COUNT TO PURPLE? NO, YOU CANNOT: A CHILD'S GUIDE TO COUNTING THINGS, etc.
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Dec 22, 2018 15:08
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JacquelineDempsey posted:I got you, fellow former CNY woman. Awww poo poo, yeah, Syracuse! (why am I getting excited? I have potatoes, salt, and ice in the kitchen; I can replicate the Syracuse experience if I take them all to a failing mall and then start a gang fight). My dad worked really closely with CNY area public schools- he was one of the earliest proponents of BOCES, if you know what that is/was- and one of the reasons he quit was because he couldn't stand how wealthy school districts STILL poured buckets and buckets of money into football and sports while ignoring special programs. I grew up in and went to school in Cazenovia until I was 16, and we barely even had APs, let alone any kind of accelerated or gifted programs....but we always had a spankin' new football scoreboard. TAKE THAT, CBA! Your husband's planets sound cool as gently caress! Anyways. Not only is Saturn A THING but I had the chance to sneak a few pics today while 'setting up".Sorry for the poo poo quality; I was trying to be unobstrusive. Keep in mind my students are all younger than 8 and English is their third language, so the books should be really interesting and engaging, right?    The only possible answer to this question is LET'S TOUCH IT OR LICK IT TO FIND OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! so I am going to hide it, I think. Also, there is a 99% chance that someone licked the book itself. e: This isn't math.  lmao what a fuckin nerd  Excellent question! Who knows what a radio is? Oh, nobody, because you were all born in 2011? Never mind, then.  Not only is this not applicable to ANY of the students in the elementary school, but in Catalunya this isn't exactly the safest question to ask.  Because I said so? Seriously, I looked at the book and "because I said so" flew out of my mouth. (I am, of course, going to promote these books like they're the most fascinating things ever.) Fleta Mcgurn fucked around with this message at 16:12 on Dec 28, 2018 |
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Dec 28, 2018 16:08
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Along with being a massive library nerd herself, my mom was also a school teacher, so I have mad respect for anyone in that profession and understand about having to buy your own stuff. Even in one of the best funded public school systems in Syracuse, she'd buy things for her kids because "hurrr, don't have enough budget for the special ed program, gotta make sure we can buy a new scoreboard for the football stadium".
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Midjack posted:True Porn Clerk Stories, on improvisation.ws. The site is long gone but the Wayback Machine provides at least the first page: This was the first thing I ever read on the Internet that I kept going back to and re-reading. It was mostly dead by the time I discovered it, but I loved it so much. JacquelineDempsey posted:The next book in the series should be "Can You Post When You're Dead?" and the answer is yes, because I just died laughing at those. Holy crow, you weren't kidding, Fleta. "Robert Makes a Graph" --- omg tell me how it ends but put it in spoiler tags, please! Wouldn't want to ruin that roller coaster of a story for anyone else. BOCES actually sent a recruiter to our classes in eighth grade...it didn't go well. I got picked on a little bit because my dad was so strongly in favor of the program, but not much. For him, it was really personal because he'd grown up poor and, while very smart, hadn't been an academic person. He remembered wishing there was a way to move into a vocational program while still receiving good training at a high pedagogic standard, so BOCES seemed like an amazing idea to him. And, honestly, the Caz contingent of BOCES kids generally needed that separation and intervention. I had a couple of friends in the program, actually- one girl with severe dyslexia who was smart, but gun-shy about challenging herself in general (she went into the florist program and is doing really well) and one guy who was just a fuckup redneck (culinary school until jail.) Quite a few of the students from my school from Special Education DID go to BOCES, but plenty went on to college, too. It just gave certain kids more options and choices. I never would have been interested, but now I wonder if more of my friends who weren't very academic should have entered the program. But, yeah. "Retards" all the way down. Kids were so lovely when I was in high school. Coasterphreak posted:To be fair, they probably did that to keep kids like me from disassembling on a whim. My classroom usually has a "toolbox" with old VHS tapes and things for kids to take apart and try to put back together...or turn into something else entirely! It's great, as long as nothing in there is sharp (I check every time it's used to make sure there are not sharp or broken bits). Haven't spent much time with the new crew yet and am not sure they're ready. Hopefully by March, though. And on that note, most of the rest of the books are obnoxiously dull, but not as funny as the previous six titles. I am disappoint. We have, in total, six books that are actually stories. I think everything we have is a Guided Reading Program reject. No DK Discovery books, no Magic Schoolbus, no Terry Deary...gently caress, I don't even have the goddamn Hungry Caterpillar! I managed to scrape together about 10-12 Roald Dahl and American Girl books from my own collection, but nothing that's really at their level. ARGH. E: Retards All the Way Down is my least favorite John Green book. Fleta Mcgurn fucked around with this message at 13:07 on Jan 4, 2019 |
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Jan 4, 2019 13:01
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oystertoadfish posted:one of the weirdest self inserts I read was this polish American engineer who goes back in time and, like, teaches medieval Poland how to make machine guns before the Mongols come (also he has sex with lots of teenaged medieval polish girls) I honestly thought you were talking about Timeline at first.
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Jan 8, 2019 20:05
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Cythereal posted:Sorry for double posting, but it's been that kind of weekend. Oh, god, what fresh new wave of Mormonism is starting here?
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Feb 18, 2019 06:27
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I get to be the boss librarian when my school finally gets a library!!!
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Feb 22, 2019 23:56
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Cythereal posted:I got screamed at by a student for my first time in a new job, but fortunately got an email from my boss today backing me up all the way. Definitely let the prof know. That class needs a talking-to. Also, that student is dumb as hell.
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Mar 5, 2019 08:47
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:Oh man, is this the academic library version of "muh taxes pay your salary" Someone tried this on me once (not in a library setting) and I said "I pay school taxes and don't have kids, so..." Then they were hardcore owned and I did a radical skateboard flip and hosed their mom. Okay, I trailed off like a weenie and they just huffed away, but I still think, you know, gently caress that lady.
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Dec 7, 2019 08:06
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. I always think that argument is hilarious. I mean, I pay taxes too, but that still doesn't mean I can walk onto an army base and drive off in a tank
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What a hideous loving library, upskirt potential notwithstanding.
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Dec 25, 2019 00:32
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We've gone from throwing oneself in the gorge next to Nabokov's old house to throwing oneself off what can only be described as a perve grate; I don't predict a shining future for the Ivies.
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Dec 27, 2019 09:23
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Like imagine being on the top floor and your earring falls out.
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Dec 27, 2019 09:34
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Instead of librarywide hide-and-seek games, they do library-wide Plinko. tbh I want to stand at the top, spread my legs, squat, and yell down, "HEY, NANCY! DID I TUCK MY TAMPON STRING IN BY MISTAKE?" E: "I DIDN'T? OKAY, LET'S PLAY THE FISHING GAME!" EE: oh no im yelling in the library!!!!
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Dec 27, 2019 11:21
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I went to this ugly bitch back in my sexy college days. It's either called the Turkey or the Peacock, depending on your general optimism or lack thereof, and it's a windowless concrete death hole where you could easily hide many, many bodies. I once tried to go up the Robarts elevator to my first session of a class only to be told that there are multiple "versions" of the floor I needed and to go back down IMMEDIATELY. Like, this random guy actually crossed his arms and glared at me until the elevator doors closed. What hideous state secrets I stumbled upon, I'll never know.
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Dec 29, 2019 09:10
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Out of curiosity, is anyone doing online online storytime casts out of their libraries?
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Apr 2, 2020 14:08
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I can lick some books for you, if you're still planning on it. 
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Apr 17, 2020 10:47
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Overdrive is wonnnnderful.
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Apr 17, 2020 17:02
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But...they really aren't...
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Apr 20, 2020 09:57
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Just don't lick the patron and then swallow the book whole.
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Apr 20, 2020 18:13
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I never thought I'd say such a thing, but I wish the library next door was still shut down because the lights go on at 4 AM even though the place doesn't open until 10. And apparently they have funding for ten-squillion-watt bulbs. It's 4:45 am, that's how my goddamn day is going. UGH WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DETAILING THE BOOKS?!
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Aug 11, 2020 03:53
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Go in and use that mofo! That's why it's there! I love makerspaces, god drat.
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Aug 21, 2020 07:07
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Cythereal posted:Yes. That did actually happen at the library in my hometown! (Here's a link to the museum 'cause they got a mummy and it loving owns.) Dewey is long gone by now, sadly. I had no idea pickles were a common thing to stick in drop boxes. I guess they just shrivel up, and don't rot, so it's...well, nicer than sticking a regular cucumber in, I guess.
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Nov 5, 2020 16:12
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Inceltown posted:Not exactly library related but also insanely likely to be this threads jam. I got an album that documents the laying of submarine cables in the late 19th century, which is both cool and boring. https://collection.sciencemuseumgroup.org.uk/documents/aa110067291/album-documenting-the-laying-of-numerous-submarine-cables
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Jan 21, 2021 09:57
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VinylonUnderground posted:Just as long as the pencil cup is filled with someone's jizz. I'm not a librarian so I don't claim to understand it, but my experience shows that it is an essential component of a functioning library. It keeps the pencils supple and youthful.
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Jan 30, 2021 15:43
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